Things about being single

I enjoy the freedom of being single and the fact that I am accountable to no one but God, myself and my mother. One of the things I’ve noticed with couples is that as much as they say they are able to do whatever they want with their money, time and so forth, the fact is that if they are having a successful relationship and are any sort of decent human being they definitely do have to consult someone before doing anything significant in their lives. I don’t have to consult with anyone if I decide I want to change jobs, fly to Europe or paint my bedroom fuchsia. These things tend to get a partner excited, especially fuchsia.

However there are downsides to the single state, one of the biggest being that despite this being 2009, single people are social outcasts. Until recently I can pretty much count on one hand the amount of dinner invitations I have received in the last 35 years to a couple’s home. It’s only been in the last couple of years that I have actually been invited to a sit-down dinner with married friends. Even my sister has tended to exclude me from formal dinner parties. I honestly don’t think it is because there was any fear of my walking off with a stray husband or two. I think it was mostly because what do you do with a single female when there isn’t a partner for the husband to talk with? Heaven knows the husband has no interest in talking to some woman!(?) In other words, I really don’t have a clue why I have never been invited but I know I am not an oddball because other single females have experienced the same exclusion.

I have not ventured out very often for a solitary meal in a restaurant but I remember years ago one memorable evening I thought I would try it and went as wild as to order custard for dessert because I had read about custard in Agatha Christie. Not only was the custard disappointingly cold when I was expecting hot, the ambience of sitting alone over dinner was equally cold and dismal! More recently I tried the experiment when I travelled to England on my own. Let me tell you after the first night I was pretty fed up with my own company. So I thought I would be daring and bold so I psyched myself up to invite the next single person I saw in a restaurant to join me at my table. In the next 3 weeks I didn’t see another single person the whole length and breadth of England! As it turned out I was travelling during a vacation time for the school kids so there went my bravery and any chance of being a forward hussy!

However after braving England alone I have felt much more valiant back home and have had a couple of lovely evenings enjoying a fancy restaurant here in Calgary. Timing is everything I suppose but I seem to ge a lot of attention from the waiters if I go at the early sitting. It isn’t the greatest experience perhaps but the more I do it the more comfortable I get.

So next time you see a lone woman smiling to herself over a glass of wine, give her a thumbs up because she has stepped outside her comfort zone and dares to enjoy herself alone.