Twins

For the next 5 days I am twins with my sister, so suitable for two Geminis, don't you think?

It's hard to believe that she is a grandmother because she is full of fun and frolic!

I'm wishing her a great day - and anticipating an annual update on her blog (hint, hint).

Making head or tails

It’s hard to fathom the way people think when it is so far off target from one’s own.  I refer to yesterday’s blog and the philosophy that our government appears to have in forcing the workers in this country to work longer and harder.  I clearly recall being taught in my grade 8 class that when I was going to join the work force the odds were that I would be working a 4 day week because of “progress”.  Through my working career promises have been made by our politicians that we could expect a rosy retirement if we paid into the “system”.  As an employer as well as an employee I have paid double dues to the government “systems”.

       I’ve paid my taxes since I was 18 years old, including health care dues for most of my working career.  Thank goodness I have been a very healthy person and have rarely even had to go to the doctor until after 50 when I thought it was time to start doing annual checkups. 

       I bitterly resent the way government officials, our elected politicians speak about people who have been on employment insurance, as though the majority choose to lose their jobs.  Their holy stance is particularly offensive when it is revealed that these noble individuals get a royal handshake in the way of “packages” should they not be elected again, should they choose to retire, should they “move on”.  Not a mere pittance, either, oh no, they get a year or two in salary; they get pensions we can only fantasize about; and oh yes, they get handed another job, perhaps a senatorship, perhaps a seat on a super board of health care, or some such thing.  These loud mouthed, obnoxious scoundrels have the audacity to tell us that we need to have a stiff upper lip and keep on toiling, take a job as a Walmart greeter no doubt, or go to the Okanagan as a cherry picker even as we totter on our arthritic legs.

       I am beyond outraged.

Back to Work

For the first time since getting back on public transportation I had to stand up all the way home.  From my lofty height I could see that more than half of the seats were taken up by men.  Strong, able-bodied men.  Men who studiously avoided eye contact with females.  Humph.

          It’s true that some women fought hard for equal rights.  And it’s true that men have resented women approaching equal pay, equal rights, and so forth.

          But stop the bus.

          That isn’t what I want to talk about, this is only a little prelude to something more sinister.

          Sinister, you may well wonder.

          This morning as I drove in to the station I heard something truly appalling.  There are going to be more changes to the pension plans in this country.  The final salvo in this little news blip went like this

“Baby boomers are going to have to STEP UP TO THE PLATE and work longer and harder before they retire”.

I couldn’t believe that the journalist reading that sentence didn’t choke on it.  He must have been under 30.  What I find so horrible about this statement is that the people who are making this statement are the children that the boomers raised.  The ones who basically had their parents pay for their college education.  The parents  who didn’t make them pay room and board while they went to school, who probably didn’t even ask them to pay back the college funds.  The parents who helped with their down payment on their first house.  The parents who took them to Disneyland, who took them to Florida, Hawaii or California on a vacation.  The parents who took care of grandma and grandpa when they got old, before they went into the retirement home.  Wow, and now these ungrateful curs are telling us we HAVE TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE ---- AGAIN. 

J.F.C.

They should be shot with lukewarm . . . you know what.

Special People

How many special people can you count in your life?  I am blessed with so many friendships and relationships that I feel almost embarrassed by riches. 

          Embarrassed by riches?  I’m sure you’ve heard this expression before but what does it mean?  It can take on any number of meanings if you think about it for a little bit.  Literally it can mean that you are embarrassed by your wealth, your possessions, your material things.  It can mean that you are endowed with more worldly goods than is seemly.  It can mean that you have so much that you cannot think straight.  It can mean that you have so much that you feel sorry for those who don’t have what you have.  An overflowing of good will for plenty.

          Riches are not always material.  It’s not money, jewels, possessions.  Riches can be the blessings of character, of mental powers, of health, of friendships, of countless ephemeral thoughts. 

          The people we meet through our lifetime can help to shape who we are, they can give us experiences we might not otherwise have, but most of all they can give us friendships that can last a lifetime.  Friends who are there to listen to you when you need to talk, who are there to share your triumphs, who laugh with you and cry with you.  Who hold your hand when you need help and who share what they have when you need to lean on them.  Friends come in all forms, family members, childhood friends, classmates, colleagues, spouse or lover.  Cherish them, be embarrassed by riches.

Sabbatical

I had a true vacation while I was visiting my friend in Blind Bay, B.C.; no television, no internet, no distractions other than the ones we made for ourselves.  The weather was not as nice as former visit but we made the most of it, snatching quiet time on the deck in between the showers that visited upon us.  Rose and I nestled down in our lawn chairs with our books, tucked a blanket around our legs and just read and read and read.  Perhaps sipped once or twice on our glass of wine, sighed as we looked out at the gorgeous view of Blind Bay and then went back to our book.

      The garden centres were as lovely as ever, the big deal this year in petunias is the black one with the yellow or pink stripe.  And this year I brought home a gorgeous rose bush for my mother which we have decided will go into a big pot rather than the ground.  The challenge will be to see if we can winter it any better than we can the miniature tea roses (not at all successful there).  It’s a case of try, try, try again.  As I wandered in and out amongst the plants I thought that it was impossible to have angry or bitter feelings while you were there.  I’m thinking it would be a wonderful place to work if you wanted tranquility.  After all, how many people go into a garden centre feeling nasty or mean and would perhaps abuse as an employee there?  I would be shocked to think anyone would.

      On our last day we visited our favorite wineries and again; how can you be miserable after a sip or two of wine?  My friend told me that in Ontario the wineries charge for every taste of wine which greatly surprised us as that doesn’t seem to be a good way to make sales.  Only one of the wineries she visited there deducted the cost of the tasting from any purchase made; at least that is a good sales pitch.  All I can say is that all 4 wineries that we visit enjoy our full patronage as we never leave empty handed!

      Reflecting back on my visit I feel the same sense as past years that I have really given myself a chance to wind down and simply enjoy the senses.  I feasted my eyes, ears, nose, mouth and sense of touch in the beautiful views, the gardens, the flowers, fruits and wines of British Columbia.  Everyone should have that girlfriend time when you simply appreciate the good things of life with good friends who can laugh with you, not at you.  I am blessed.

Girlfriends, Weekends, Wine, Laughter

Another year and another retreat with my girlfriends this long weekend.  It’s surprising to learn how many other women have these weekends with their friends but as I am reading “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” by Steve Harvey I realize that it’s essential for women to get some sort of conversation and understanding from their friends because it doesn’t seem to happen for them with their husbands!  One of the funniest stories he tells in the book is the difference between a girlfriend commiserating with his wife about another woman wearing the same blouse as her.  The saga goes on for half an hour; the husband gives a one-liner “Too bad, don’t wear it again.”  I burst out laughing on the train.

          I enjoy getting away with friends for the sheer fun of it.  We just laugh all weekend long, from the time we get into the car until we return 4 days later!  We never run out of things to talk about and there are no awkward silences.  Occasionally we will have a little breather where we simply lay in the lawn chairs and regard the spectacular view from the balcony, sigh and then say “it’s gorgeous here”. 

We’ve had fabulous summer weather the last few days here in Alberta but our retreat is timely as the threat of snow returns tomorrow.  Only in southern Alberta do you get these incredible swings in the weather!  It’s such a contrast to drive through the snowy mountains and suddenly find yourself in the valley where magnolias, rhododendrons (try spelling that one) and plain old tulips are blooming in profusion.  We sigh, we hopefully shop for plants that will survive our more brutal climate and we drink some wine.  

          Meanwhile Mom gets a reprieve from me and will get to sleep in every morning and not have to be at my beck and call.  Yes, I’m giving her the weekend off. 

Being in the Moment

Too often I tend to think about the future and so I forget about the immediate.  I forget about being present and taking full advantage of what is happening now.  Case in point, when I come home from work I still gravitate towards my unwinding in front of the television instead of embracing my mother and telling her about my day.  So much has gone on during the day and with the drive, I need to unwind.  However, I should be living in the moment and unwinding at bedtime and during waking hours I should be enjoying my mother.

      This is just an illustration of what we all tend to do with our lives.  We forget to enjoy the living life and instead worry about what is coming next.  Slow down, smell the roses.  How many times do I say that to the drivers whizzing by me on a Saturday morning?  But during the weekday I am just as wrong as everyone else that I point fingers at.  How about you?  Are you paying attention to the moment?

      It’s the night before my post, and I am cutting this short so I can be in the moment.

       Think about the tempo in your life.

Second Guessing Oneself

Unless you are a sociopath you have probably second guessed yourself once or twice in your lifetime.  It is a very disconcerting feeling to wonder if you have done the right thing but worse is having to admit that you might be wrong.

          One of the dangers of becoming mature (read older) is that we tend to have the idea that we now know it all and therefore cannot possibly make a mistake.  I say this tongue in cheek but if you admit it to yourself, don’t you often believe that you are probably right even when you say “well, I may be wrong but . . . “ or words to that effect?  I may have mentioned this before but my father used to confound me by saying that he would always be the wiser because of “life experience”.  Naturally it was difficult to combat those words but now I have them in my arsenal as I climb up the ladder of maturity.

          There is the downside to climbing up the ladder of maturity though, as my mother mentioned to me after making a call to her cousin.  Ingemarie said “now I’m on top of the ladder and I don’t like it very much” – meaning that the only place to go was the graveyard.  My mother is the second youngest of that whole crew and she is next on the ladder.  I looked at Mom and said that of the next generation I was getting mighty near the top as well because all the older ones have pretty near dropped off already.  It’s kind of an alarming state of life!

          I enjoy talking with my mother about life because she has a great deal of life experience even though she’s lived a very quiet life.  But she is observant and is a great reader and she likes to share her observations of life.  Fortunately for both of us, I am a great listener so I am learning a lot from her.  Some of the most valuable things I am learning is how to handle the aging process.  There are some things that I “know” but I am still not acting upon.  But other things are new revelations.

          Keeping current is a vital part of having a good quality of life in old age.  If you let the world pass you by then when you really need to know something, you will be at a loss.  So don’t put off learning all those electronic gadgets and don’t put off doing your research to all the things that will make your life easier in retirement.  There are so many things that I never thought of, even though I’ve been doing a lot of studying up on retirement.  For instance, there are a lot of programs for seniors that you can access through your provincial government (besides financial aid) and many of these programs are free.

          Something huge – loneliness.  As a person grows older her acquaintances drop off and unless you are constantly building new relationships suddenly you will be very lonely when you are in your 70’s or 80’s.  And for those of us who are young enough – what’s stopping you from adopting an elderly person in your church or your neighbourhood?  God and the universe will bless you for it.  This I know for sure.

Thoughts on Mothers

If a person is fortunate enough to have a good mother I think you must agree that her life is not easy.  From the minute you are born she worries about you; are you normal, are you sick (when you cry), do you have enough to eat, why aren’t you sleeping long enough.  These are all questions that go through her mind day after day until you learn to babble something or other.  It must be nerve wracking to say the least.  I remember babysitting for my sister once while she flew off to Hawaii.  My niece felt warm and I was in a panic lest she go into some type of shock.  I called my parents for advice, soaked her gently with a wet clothe and the following day smacked her for banging my head into the house thermostat because she was in a tantrum because I said no to her skating outside.  Didn’t she realize, I asked, that she had nearly died the night before and I wasn’t taking any chances with her playing outside when she had fever?  She said she wasn’t dying now so she should go skating.

      What do you do with a child like that?  Give her back to her mother, that’s what!

      But real mothers can’t do that.  They are stuck for a good 18 years with their child and the miracle is that they put up with us.  They put up with our crankiness, our vomit, our dirtiness, countless illnesses, demanding teachers, PMS, our broken teenage hearts, our hatred for tyrannical dads, our despair over our clothes, our figures, our hair, sibling rivalry and heaven only knows what else.  What do they get in return?  Pretty much nadda, zilch, ingratitude and an occasional remembrance on Mother’s Day.

      Well, that’s not really true.  While we may not appreciate our mothers very much while we are children, except when we are in the throes of truly hideous mumps, we recognize her worth almost immediately upon turning 18.  Suddenly we are emancipated from childhood and all we really want is for our mothers to take us back and pamper us with chicken soup and platitudes.

      Mothers really are the best human beings on the planet.

Celebrating My Mother

Well she's all you'd ever want,
She's the kind they'd like to flaunt and take to dinner.
Well she always knows her place.
She's got style, she's got grace, She's a winner.
She's a Lady.

When I think of my mother I think of her like that “she’s a lady”.  When she was younger men would ogle her in the grocery store, that’s how lovely she was.  When she walked about on the ship we sailed on coming to Canada people thought she was one of the Danish princesses, she walked with such style and grace.

                My mother has a quiet dignity about her but at the same time she has a fabulous sense of humour and can really enjoy a joke, especially when it is on her.  Recently we went together into the Staples shop to buy something for my camera and as we were leaving my mother saw some balls in one of the aisle baskets.  She picked it up and before I could say anything she attempted to bounce it to the floor to see how good it would bounce.  As it turned out it was a calculator shaped like a rubber ball which I had seen but she didn’t realize it until it made a terrible whack on the floor.  She looked at me, aghast, and I looked at her and we both ended up with a laughing fit that didn’t stop all the way across the parking lot.  I couldn’t catch my breath because every time I tried to tell her what I thought I would picture her face and go into another peal of laughter.

                What struck me as so hilarious was all the times she had told me not to touch anything, not to bounce any balls, not to even dream of picking one up and here she was destroying property at her ripe old age.  She could see the irony herself and went into more laughter.  It was one of the funniest shopping trips I’d ever had with my mother.  When I was little my mother was the main disciplinarian in the house because my father worked such long hours and she was so strict.  Many is the times I’ve gone to bed with a warm bum from a paddle with the wooden spoon although more often my sister and I would yell like banshees so Mom would stop quickly and once she left the room we would ask each other if we got hurt.  No, we would say and then giggle.  Little did we know that Mom stood on the other side of the door listening and she would be chuckling away at our shenanigans. 

                I am lucky to have had her as my Mom.

First photo is Mom with our cousins and her sister; bottom with me and Charlotte

Living Life's Dream

I was reading someone’s blog the other day and they were warning a graduating class that it was all downhill from the day of their commencement.  I was a little perturbed by the things he was saying and wondering if the 20 something’s were going home to kill themselves.  But one piece of advice was really worth listening to and that was “do what you love to do” and it won’t feel like work.  How many of us actually get to do that though.  I think most of us make do with what we can find, perhaps make it into a real career but still, it isn’t what we dreamt about doing when we were in high school and making our plans for the rest of our life.

       It’s hard to believe that I am approaching 60 and still feel like there are a lot of years stretching ahead of me.  There are still plenty of things that I want to do with my life but I am wise enough to know that now it is a time for carpe diem; there is no wisdom in waiting longer to do the things I want to do.  Having this attitude can be a dangerous thing because it puts me in the mood to say “fuddle duddle” if someone pushes too hard and that just isn’t smart.  Fortunately for me, I’ve developed the habit of not answering emails that disturb me; instead I get up from my chair and walk around the floor, the building or even the block, depending on how angry I get.  Again, fortunately, this hardly ever happens anymore because I realize that I am not in control of the situation.  Managing reactions is a lifetime process of learning and if you happen to be an INFJ type personality you will find you have some extra challenges in modifying your behaviour. (we “hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life”)

       My advice, hold on to your dreams throughout your life and eventually they will come true.

I was reading someone’s blog the other day and they were warning a graduating class that it was all downhill from the day of their commencement.  I was a little perturbed by the things he was saying and wondering if the 20 something’s were going home to kill themselves.  But one piece of advice was really worth listening to and that was “do what you love to do” and it won’t feel like work.  How many of us actually get to do that though.  I think most of us make do with what we can find, perhaps make it into a real career but still, it isn’t what we dreamt about doing when we were in high school and making our plans for the rest of our life.

       It’s hard to believe that I am approaching 60 and still feel like there are a lot of years stretching ahead of me.  There are still plenty of things that I want to do with my life but I am wise enough to know that now it is a time for carpe diem; there is no wisdom in waiting longer to do the things I want to do.  Having this attitude can be a dangerous thing because it puts me in the mood to say “fuddle duddle” if someone pushes too hard and that just isn’t smart.  Fortunately for me, I’ve developed the habit of not answering emails that disturb me; instead I get up from my chair and walk around the floor, the building or even the block, depending on how angry I get.  Again, fortunately, this hardly ever happens anymore because I realize that I am not in control of the situation.  Managing reactions is a lifetime process of learning and if you happen to be an INFJ type personality you will find you have some extra challenges in modifying your behaviour. (we “hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life”)

       My advice, hold on to your dreams throughout your life and eventually they will come true.

Motivation

If you are like me, or if I am normal, we tend to surge ahead with our enthusiasm when a project first gets off the ground and sooner or later we begin to sag, peter out or even give up.  Things that keep motivation going are when you know this is your livelihood (so you go to work every day), or you will drown if you don’t keep swimming, or you will run like the dickens because the pitbull is after you.  I am visualizing all of these things as I sit myself down conscientiously every evening to write my blog, my story, my novel.  As I said last fall:

      “If I succeed I keep on writing, if I fail I keep on writing.  Whether I feel interested or bored, energized or tired, encouraged or discouraged, I keep on writing.”

      I don’t know if it is important to have a mantra but I do know it’s important to have discipline if you want to succeed at anything.  Not every day or every effort turns out to be a great piece of writing, but at least I am being consistent.

As one becomes older I think there is a tendency for us to want to share our experiences and help the younger generation from making the same mistakes we made, or of taking a short cut into experience.  But even as I try to impart my wisdom I realize that people of all ages still want to learn for themselves, they seldom want advice or even recommendations as to a good book or movie.  What they all seem to enjoy though is a good sense of humour, they will share a joke and appreciate a good laugh so as I write I hope that somewhere in between the preaching there is a laugh or two to be enjoyed.

Of course I especially like to laugh at myself so the joke this day is that coming home last night I had to stand up for at least 6 stops and all my graciousness was struggling with the resentment of seeing men and young people sitting down diligently avoiding the eyes of all the middle aged women standing up and clinging to the strap that was way too high for them. 

Really, whoever on earth thought creating cattle cars out of the city transit should be shot with lukewarm sh*t. (to quote a Danish saying).

Saying Thank You

Do you ever find yourself getting bristly instead of being gracious and saying thank you?  Twice in the last week I’ve been offered a seat on the bus which is really nice but inside I am wondering “do I really look so old and decrepit that I get first offer of a seat?”  Not that I have felt bristly or offended but it did make me think about how people accept favours.

       I think oftentimes we forget the gracious part of saying thank you.  Not just to say it, but to actually mean it and think about the kindness that went into whatever was offered.  Going home this evening I thought about the young girl who have up her seat for me and I thought that she must be well brought up and that her parents had done such an excellent job with her.  Last week when the gentleman give me his seat I thought how nice it was to have someone who had worked hard all day think about someone else. 

       As a consequence of these sacrifices I noticed that I was being less belligerent about the (still) crazy drivers on the road.  I thought “stupid” still but I didn’t get myself all excited about it.  Instead I thought, oh well, this is the way some people behave.  I’ve backed off, slowed down and given them extra space. 

You want in?  Go on in. 

You want to slow down now?  Not sure why but whatever. 

Am I a saint?  Not hardly.  But I am being mindful of the good things coming my way, I am being grateful for them because for sure, converting back to city transit could have been a whole different experience.  Instead I am being treated to so much goodness that I can hardly believe it.  No doubt I will get a taste of the rough stuff soon enough but at the moment, I am saying thanks and being gracious with that thanks.  At least, I hope so.

And a big thank you to my little sister for helping out today. 

Affirming what a great writer I am

Part of the 30-Day writing challenge includes making affirmations to one’s self.  Just like other great companies, becoming a writer means getting encouragement from one’s self as well as one’s peers, friends, coaches, and mother.  Every time I emerge from my office Mom asks me “so what did you write about this time” and waits with interest to hear what I have to tell her.  Sometimes I am vague but sometimes I speak with a twinkle in my eye as I repeat one of her own anecdotes.  I think that she likes it that I am writing her stories down.

      As with any type of art form, writing is very subjective so what one person likes to read is simply not another person’s cup of tea.  As a reader I prefer to read third person narrative rather than first person stories and yet I find myself writing in the first person most of the time now.  I notice with interest that there are so many people who publish books which tell their story, or their ideas and I think it is wonderful that people have an avenue to express themselves.

      In the Mary Kay world they always speak positively in their meetings.  The leaders do not allow negativity to enter their meetings, even if they secretly wish that the company hadn’t changed their foundation formulas or discontinued a certain colour of lipstick.  Like any corporate executive they tow the party line.  They encourage their consultants with the products available and Mary Kay is one of the most successful companies in terms of development and reward.  So I understand very well my writing coach sends out a message that we writers must affirm our abilities.  We shouldn’t say we are lousy, we shouldn’t even be modest when we speak of our writing.  We should give ourselves the old raa, raa encouragement just as though we were in a Mark Kay seminar.  So don’t be shocked by the title of this blog, not only am I giving myself permission to be boastful in encouragement, but I pass the lesson on to you!  We are all great at something.

Weather Vanes of Change

Yesterday we had drizzling rain, mixed with snow, all day long and today the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the lawn is emerald green.  Gorgeous.  And I have to sit here all morning and attempt to write something meaningful while outside beckons temptingly to me.  But I am sticking with it, determined not to give in.

       I have met a number of people who changed direction in their careers later in life, some in their 30’s, their 40’s and even their 50’s.  I commend people who decide “no, I don’t want to be doing this for the rest of my life” and then find their dream job, or at least something they enjoy doing better.  Most people say that when they retire they will do this or that, but I think they seldom end up doing what they have so long dreamed about doing.  I certainly hope in my case that, one I won’t have to wait too long to retire and two, that I will have the proper habits to continue writing since this is what I want to do in my retirement.  Yes, the lightbulb has finally gone on for me and I realize that while I certain want to do other things as well, writing is my love and this is what I want to do in retirement.  Whether or not I will ever be published (and really, I shouldn’t even question that because if I really want this I can always self-publish) the writing is what is important.

       I recently got my raise but was told I didn’t get the average because I was again at the top of my band (the infamous, secret Mercer band HR loves to bandy about when discussing money).  As I had been expecting this I listened respectfully but I decided that expanding my career is going to have to happen outside of my current one.  If I have to “put skin in the game” let it at least be my own game. 

       And inside my head I thought “I gave myself more of a raise by giving up my parking than I am getting this year”.  C’est la vie.  We make our own luck.

Feeling Good

There are certain things that simply make a person feel good about themselves and everyone around them.  Fresh milk, apple pie, sunshine, a perfect choice in clothes, chocolate, a daisy, a favorite pet greeting you coming or going.  The simple things of life.

      There’s something else that can make you feel good about yourself, like when you make the right choices in life.  I’m not talking about when you decide to graduate from high school or when you decide what university to go to, or taking the job.  I’m talking about the choices you make that mean the difference between right and wrong. Moral choices.

      Most of us aren’t put against truly tough choices, thank heavens.  We aren’t asked to choose between a decent life and that of a drug dealer, for instance.  But how often do you find yourself in a spot where you can choose to be silent or make a wisecrack remark?  How often do you bit your tongue instead of sharing some gossip?  Simple things.

      Two days ago a man surrendered his seat to me even though he had probably had  a very long day at work.  He made a choice to make another person happy.  Do you ever find yourself a bit cranky during your day and find it really hard to smile at someone?  Just think about how easy it would be for you to overcome that crankiness and smile.  Not only would you make the receiver happy, but you would instantly start to feel better yourself.

      My mother and I were talking today while we were sitting in the sunroom, watching the rain pour down.  She asked “why are people so mean these days?”  I had to shake my head and say “I don’t know”.  I think part of the reason is that people are too material in their thinking.  I also think that they honestly don’t even think about morals, principles, ideals, ideas much less passing them on to their children.  I can name three women in this town just off the bat who think money, designer clothes and having their daughters popular is the most important thing in their lives.  I can guarantee you that these women have never once told their daughters that they should be grateful they live in this country nor have they been asked to give anything back to the community they live in – unless they could get something out of it.  These are just women who popped into my head this afternoon in our conversation, not friends, but acquaintances.  If I thought a few more minutes I could name several others, no problem.

      My parents didn’t teach me to give back but they did teach me to maintain certain principles and ideals that belong to our heritage.  I bless myself every day that I was raised with integrity.  I feel so sorry for young people today who don’t seem to have any guidance.  They are trying to figure it out all on their own.  And it shows.

      Keep smiling.  Your life could be a whole lot worse.

Gracious Me

Do you remember the scene in Gone with the Wind when Ashley reminisces about the long lazy days at Twelve Oaks before the war? 

Contrast that picture with hopping on the cattle car, also known as the C-train at 5:45 a.m.  The new trains, which I only saw first hand this morning, have seating running along the sides that are so tight you are literally packed on their like proverbial sardines.  I sat in one with no one on either side of me for exactly one stop at which point two persons got on either side of me and crammed me down with their arms.  Sure there is enough room for every normal sized person’s butte however they made no accounting for the space above, also known as arms and shoulders.  And we are talking about the early bird train.  When I am on the normal train there is plenty of seating for everyone but today, on this type of train, people were already standing at the third stop.  On the regular bus there is seldom anyone standing at this time of day. 

Isn’t there something wrong with this picture?  Doesn’t this sound like a regression back to circa 1945 NYC?  Certainly not the type of transportation a person should be subjected to at that time of the morning going into work.  I understand rush hour when the big rush is on, but for those of us who get up extra early to avoid all this, what the heck happened?

That’s the first part of the story.  The second part is the homeward journey.  Now that I am back on the “slower” highway driving I find that I am experiencing just as much sense of urgency when we get to the Okotoks intersection.  As God is my witness, the people who live in Okotoks have the most profound sense of Me First that I have ever borne witness to!  God forbid that anyone should beat them to the pass, you’d think money was at stake instead of getting home to beat up the wife or yell at the kids.  Seriously, what’s the big rush?  Why can’t you take it at a normal clip and merge like a rational person.  That’s right, I’m forgetting that the phase of gracious living is a bygone era.

But allow me to end this negative rant on a positive note.  When I got on the train this evening a true gentleman immediately offered me his seat.  I was huffing and puffing from running to catch it and I wonder if I looked like I might be on the verge of dying or if he was really being a gentleman.  In any event I’m saying a special prayer for him tonight.  And just so you know, he was not wearing a suit, he was obviously a construction worker by his dress.  Nice men are still there in the bushes.

Fashions of the Day

When I was in Grade 6 I was eleven years old and while I was not conscious of the clothes I was wearing I was observant about the clothes of Barbie.  In those days when you bought an outfit for Barbie you got a little booklet that had illustrations of her other outfits.  I would pour over these booklets like I was a zealot reviewing the Bible.  The outfits always came with a pair of shoes, a darling little hat, and sometimes a bracelet or necklace.  It was circa 1965 and I well remember one outfit of a snug red dress with four round gold buttons on the bodice and a Jackie pillbox hat.  My girlfriend got this outfit for her doll and I simply drooled.

          That same year my grandmother sent my parents a calendar which happened to have the fashions of past centuries as the theme.  I poured over these pictures as well studying the change in gowns from the 12^th to the 20^th century.  I was fascinated by the 18^th century gowns with the quilted petticoat that showed down the front with draped curtains of lavish satin along the sides.  I laughed at the late 19^th century bustle and I sighed over the wimple of the 12^th century.  Those were the days.

          One day our teacher (my first male teacher) told us that he had met our future Home Economics teacher at a seminar and she asked the question of what he was doing to prepare his students for the class.  Well, he hadn’t been doing anything but now he had the brilliant idea of the boys building a log cabin (miniature of course) while we girls were to sew a Barbie gown from the 18^th century since we were studying that period of history.  I had barely held a sewing needle in my hand but I was inspired by my Barbie booklets, the calendar and my enthusiasm for fashion.  I went home to announce my “project” to my mother who helpfully gave me some scraps of fabric leftover from her own sewing projects.  I still remember a certain brown fabric with a little black print on it, just perfect size print for a gown.  The problem was that there wasn’t enough to create the full out fashion of the time but when I looked at the calendar there were two pictures, one slim gown and one full one.  Inspiration struck, I made two gowns.  The fuller gown was made of a corded royal blue fabric and I made this one fancy by adding a little pearl embellishment to the bodice and lace around the neckline.  Perfect, I thought.

          My teacher however questioned me on my two designs, saying they were quite different.  But I told him about my Danish calendar and that there were two styles for that century.  He was nonplussed but nevertheless only gave me a B.  I was upset because one of the girls in the class had made the quilted petticoat design, had powered her dolls hair but every item indicated that she had had help from her seamstress mother.  It cried out, cheat.  He gave her an A although he questioned her on the participation and she denied it.  Not a girl in the class believed her. 

Such is life.

Making Positive

As I was saying yesterday, looking for something positive can be a bit of a challenge but I am purposefully going out there seeking it.  Yesterday I had my first “back to the C-train” experience which took an unexpected turn as I arrived at the parking station.  I thought “oh my, it is empty; then oh my, why are all the cars lined up over there; then what the heck does that sign say?”  All in about 10 seconds.

       You guessed it, city transit had initiated Reserved parking in the lot which had previously been an unreserved lot.  Naturally I hadn’t heard anything about it because I had been driving for over a year!  So I stepped out of the car and walked around the lot until I had assured myself that I was in a safe zone.  I hoped.  All day long I kept harking back to the parking lot and hoping that my car would be there when I got back down to the lot at 4:30.  Thankfully it was there.

       Okay, a mundane little story.  But as I was sitting on the train thinking about it and wondering what I would do if it had indeed been towed away I prayed several times “please God, let it be there” and then I said to myself “and most of the time when I pray to God and he answers positive I say thank you so remember to say thank you ”.  Which I did.  The point being that I had to be mindful not just of the asking, but of the thanking. 

Our minds are interesting little hamsters that run around on the wheels of the cage and frequently they can become unhinged in an unhealthy sort of way.  We become self absorbed, good things happen to us and yet we simply dwell on the crappy part of life.  We may have been taught that talking about the bad things in life is what make us interesting.  Certainly we are exposed to enough of that via our news media.  But in your own analysis, who are the people that you usually gravitate towards?  Are they the ones that make you laugh or are they the ones who encourage you to crab on about your lousy job, your useless husband or your horrid mother-in-law?  Likely you have a lot more fun with the ones who make you laugh.

So take a page out of your own book of fun and become the funny one in your circle of friends.  Wear orange to work tomorrow and bring the sunshine into your colleagues lives.  We don’t have to be 60 and in the Red Hatter club to be fun!

Starting Over, Again

Even kids hate the sound of that phrase “starting over” but it is part of the story of life.  Whether it’s putting the building blocks in the right order when you are two or going back to Weight Watchers at 45, 55 and 65 these are things that are part of the experience.

      So where am I coming from this morning?  Well, I am thinking about all the things that seem to come back time and time again.  Diets, ad naseum, exercise regimens, sorting through pileups, changing jobs, and so on.  However, today I am starting over with a new 30 day writing challenge and that is exciting.  My coach is running a second 30 day writing challenge which I will take her up on.  My discipline petered out some time in February and it’s time to get back in the game.  Every morning I sit at the computer to write my blog but beyond that I have to admit it has been slim pickings.  It’s hard to feel creative when there are life pressures all around one, especially if you are trying to write positively about life.

      At work I’ve been asked to be a role model for our company values and of course I take it seriously.  So now I have to discourage negative thinking but first that means putting my own mind in a positive state.  I’ve done some soul searching, I’ve analyzed my situation both at work and at home, and my conclusion is that I have it pretty darn good.  Sure, there is always something a person can complain about but the bottom line about complaining is that no one really cares, complaining doesn’t fix anything and it only makes you feel crappy.  So why bother?  If you really have something to complain about, fix the problem rather than talk about it.  If you can’t or won’t fix the problem, then you better start looking at constructive ways of making your mental state positive.

      I wholeheartedly embrace Sarah Ban Breathnach’s statement “a gratitude journal is not an option, it’s a must”.  I was explaining this to my mother a couple of weeks ago.  When I write in my daily gratitude journal I always complete it with a feeling of satisfaction.  There’s a happy little glow inside me that lasts at least all morning and sometimes the whole day.  When I miss a day of writing down what I am grateful for I feel less complete, and less joyful.

      This morning, I’m grateful for a new writing challenge and a closer step to my goals.

      Oh yeah.