Mid-Season Evaluation (on TV)

My mother has discovered Lawrence Welk.  You know you are old when you have discovered Lawrence Welk.  Even back in the day when Lawrence Welk was on Saturday nights his music was “old”.  But curiously enough my mother made some comments that rather resonated with me when she was evaluating the difference between watching The Lawrence Welk Show and Dancing with the Stars (which she thoroughly enjoys).  She said that the people on the Welk show were very dignified and dressed lovely.  Then she said “and people in the audience listen, dance or clap in a respectful way.  There is no screaming or cheering.  It’s refreshing.”

When did society become so raucous?  When did entertainment have to be so interactive and riotous?  It becomes a slippery slope from noise, to cursing, to downright immorality.  And that is what I am noticing more and more as seasons bring on new shows.  Here goes some of things observed this season.

How to Get Away with Murder – I started to watch this series because I like Viola Davis but from the very first episode I thought “nope, not for me”.  How can I take seriously an attorney who is fornicating in her house/office with a police officer and who doesn’t lock her doors and thus her students can walk in on her doing the deed?  Really?  I should have known this was going to be an unrealistic look at “powerhouse women” when it’s from the same producer as Scandal. 

Stalker – so here’s a police officer from NYC who transfers to Los Angeles to come on the special force looking into stalkers.  Guess what, he’s a stalker himself.  Does every cop have to have a weak backbone?  [I quit Blood Blues in the first season when “Danny” started bobbing a “perp’s” head in the toilet – and he was supposed to be a good cop.]

The Mysteries of Laura – this one is supposed to be comedic but again, we have the couple divorced with the ex-husband is messing around with stray women who wander into his ex-wife’s home --- in front of  6 year old twins.

Forever – so far this one has my approval as nothing rotten has come out about the lead character (yet).

These are the only new shows I’ve watched this season.  I like bad guys to be defined from the get go.  I don’t like to see flawed heroes unless they are redeemable (think back to “Tess of the Dubervilles in high school English, remember Angel?).  For example, in Person of Interest the heroic characters are all flawed in the beginning but they are now fighting on the side of Good.  Some series I simply refuse to watch based on the commercials.  Shows like Blacklist where the lead character is a dyed in the wool bad guy.  Are we supposed to go “oh yea” when he does his nefarious worst? 

I guess what I am trying to say is that pointing out that people are flawed is not really news and glorifying these types is not adding any value to television.  I’ll continue the conversation tomorrow with a discussion on where we have come in the last 50 years of our “civilization”.

Retirement Quizzes

I have now taken so many quizzes and tests on retirement that I am exhausted but one thing I know for sure when I say I am ready for retirement I mean it one hundred percent.  All the tests prove that I am not willing to go back to work, I am reluctant to volunteer and I basically would like to just do what I want to do.  No surprises.

I’ve almost finished a month in retirement and looking back on these weeks I can say I have been supremely happy.  I feel very satisfied with what I have been doing these weeks, there is a sense of accomplishment there without any feelings of simply killing time.  I noticed a number of the questions on the various quizzes asked questions about how time would be spent in retirement, phrasing around lazing about or killing time.  I could tell these were loaded questions that would not be good to answer yes to but I honestly could say that this is not what I would be doing or feeling.

So far there has been a sense of purpose in the tasks performed but at the same time in the back of my mind there was anticipation for what was to come once the autumn tasks were completed.  I sincerely hope that the anticipation for what is next will be well worth the wait.  And as I work away I am busily thinking out themes.

The best is yet to be

Attacks in Canada

Yesterday I was cleaning house and helping my brother with some building prior to a friend stopping by for lunch.  When she arrived she asked if we had heard the news?  No, what news?  There had been an attack at the Parliament Buildings and a soldier was killed.  To say we were shocked is an understatement.  Two attacks on our military on Canadian soil in the same week leaves us in shock and disbelief.

Shock and disbelief?  I am not certain if those are complete emotions in how we are feeling.  There is anger, a lot of anger.  How does a person express all the emotions without sounding like some sort of a racist lunatic?

Let me be brief but to the point.  Canada is a nation that embraces people from all over the world.  We are a country that even has a multicultural policy where we allow people from other countries, other beliefs, other religions to practice those beliefs even to the point of allowing their teenage children to wear a “ceremonial knife” in schools.  We are a country that has been a peace loving and peace keeping nation; in the past we have led missions around the world as peace keepers.  In the past 15 years our role on the international stage has changed in response to changing times on that stage. 

To those would be terrorists in Canada, shame on you.  To all proud Canadians, stand tall, speak out, support our government and do not allow these terrorists to change who we are, a peace loving nation.

 

Disconnected

Let me just say that losing one’s computer for a week can cause a personality crisis, a social meltdown or some other unexplainable malady.  Normally I would not have been in such dire straits when this happened a week ago but once a person is retired her whole social network is based on communication which in turn is mainly computer based (i.e. emails, Facebook, blogging).  The crisis has been handled by the purchase of a brand new computer when another mini-crisis occurred – getting it set up.  Miraculously I managed to do it all by myself, even the Outlook email functions.  Mind you, right now I am a little suspicious in that I have not received any emails, although I have been able to send out.  Usually in the mornings I have several from Facebook at least.

Today I am at the end of my third week in retirement and I am happy to be able to say that each week has ended with a “wow” rather than the “boy time flies” attitude.  Many people will say that they are busier than ever in retirement which I am finding true with me.  I had my first one-on-one coaching session with the retirement coach last week and something he told me really shocked me.  As much as I have researched retirement I had not come across this statistic.  In one particular company pre-retirement seminars were offered for many years and after some time surveys were conducted.  Those who retired at age 65 but had never chosen to take any of the seminars were dead in (guess) – 3 months!  I had expected the answer to be 1 to 3 years so you can imagine I almost fell off my chair when he said months!

Planning retirement is much more than looking after the financial side of things, although that is important.  I like to call it the holistic side of retirement where you plan how you are going to stay mentally and physically activity with exercise, family and social activities.  You also need to plan for some sort of spiritual time whether that be religious, meditation or just personal “me” time.  Most important of all you need to have enough interests and hobbies to dispose of the extra 8 to 10 hours a day that were previously used for “work”.  Golfing simply does not cut it for those who live in Canada (or elsewhere for that matter).  Volunteering may be a good way to dispose of some of the time but I recommend that you do not get swallowed up with so much volunteering that it becomes your new job. 

My coach hasn’t come right out and said it but I think I am his star pupil . . . . and I haven’t come right out and said it (to him) but I think I could do his job.  Am I calling myself an expert?  After studying retirement of more than 8 years I am thinking, maybe.  J

Through a Telescope

Have you ever put yourself in someone else’s shoes?  When a situation is dramatic or when you are watching a particularly intense movie or reading a gripping novel do you imagine yourself in that person’s place?  In real life there are sometimes circumstances that call for real empathy but it is not always easy to know what the right words are to express your sympathy or concern.  Situations such as grieving for a lost one or coping with job loss are two that spring to mind as I have had to handle both situations recently.

For the most part what I have experienced is that nothing is really wrong to say.  What is most important is to acknowledge what has happened and one’s expression of concern can be in a brief sentence such as “I’m very sorry for your loss”.  To ignore the situation is the cruelest thing a person can do.  In such a case it’s prudent to search your reasons for ignoring someone’s situation because if it’s just because you are uncomfortable then get over yourself.  In these types of circumstances it’s not about you but rather about making another person feel acknowledged.  Step out of your comfort zone and just do it.  I’ve heard people say things like “I just felt like crying or I just felt so bad for her I couldn’t say anything” but you’ll notice the “I” word.  When you feel like that, give yourself the reminder – it’s not about how you feel, it’s about acknowledging the other person.

It’s also important not to get caught up in the drama of the situation because then again it will just become about you.  Feel for the person but don’t dwell on it.  It’s a fine balance to empathize rather than to put yourself completely in the situation and begin to wallow in the person’s despair.  A person cannot survive that type of behaviour for very long because it simply drains a person.  The situation is out of your control so it’s important to know how much to say and when to move on either in conversation or physically out of the person’s space.

And all of this writing is cathartic for me, reminding me to empathize and not get dramatic.  I leave that for the critters.

Glorious Autumn

When you get a true autumn, when the weather stays above zero and the leaves stay on the trees long enough to change to yellow, orange, red and brown, the one temptation that indicates a youthful has got to be the impulse to jump in a pile, drop down and roll in the leaves.  I had to laugh when I dumped two giant piles of leaves into the chicken run and as soon as I shut the gate the Henriettas were hopping on top and rustling their way down through the pile.  Just like little kids.

I’ve always found that with the arrival of autumn there is a new energy in the air partly from the tradition of going back to school but certainly just because of the crispness of the season.  It’s therefore fitting that I am starting this new chapter of my life in the autumn since it immediately puts me in schoolgirl mode.  I’m eagerly poring over the ”Planning Your Comfort Zones: Retirement Planning” book that was provided to me by my coach.  Most of the material is quite familiar to me which reassures me that everything I have learned and planned up to this point has been on the money.  

At this point I would like to encourage all my male readers to really look at their lives, their hobbies and interests as well as their social circle because you are the ones who will be hit the hardest in retirement if you are not properly prepared for what will come.  I’ve noticed that most men will likely only have one real friend but many associates most of whom will fall away from your circle once you are retired.  Women generally have a wider circle of friends and seem to be better at keeping associations going after they leave their place of work.  Women also typically do not define themselves by their work while most men will.  There are a lot of websites and books to help everyone find a niche if they are really interested in having a quality retirement.

I’m really happy to be enjoying an Indian Summer as I enter my own “Indian Summer”.  What a different mood would have had if I had done this in dead of winter.  When you are planning your exit you may want to take seasonal timing into account, something which I had not done but turned out fortuitously.

Strategies, Plans, Challenges

I didn’t think that weekends would feel different from those before retirement but they do.  At the end of Saturday night I started to get the feeling of “one more day before work” but quickly altered it to “hey, it doesn’t matter that tomorrow is Sunday, no more work”.  What a fantastic thought.

All this ecstasy over not going to work makes it seem as though I hated my job but that is far from the truth.  What I hated was the commute which was so utterly draining and had begun to take a serious toll on my body.  I didn’t love my job though since I never felt challenged enough but now I am in control of my own destiny and I can challenge myself to my heart’s content.

Before the coach even has his hands on me (figuratively speaking of course) I’ve come up with some strategies to make my retirement meaningful in the short term.  We will see if he agrees with this scheduling:

·         Early morning – work up to 60 minute workout 6 days a week

·         Light housework (dishes, bed & bath)

·         Spend 3 – 4 hours on meaningful work

o    Spring thru fall would be Sustainable Farm

o    Winter would be writing

·         After lunch Mom and I will go for a long walk

·         Housework – dusting, vacuuming

·         Balance of afternoon spent on fun hobbies

o    Card making

o    Painting

o    Photography

o    Others

·         Evening TV, catch up on emails, blogging, etc.

As you can see I am person who likes structure.  If I don’t have some sort of a plan I know I will just go all over the place and not be able to create anything meaningful.  I already realize that I am going to have some problems with this next summer since I will be planning a vacation at the peak of the “farming” season but I will just have to come up with solutions – what’s a plan without some challenge, eh?