Alone or Lonely?

As I’ve lived alone for more than 25 years I can tell you the difference between being alone and being lonely.  Being alone is simply that, being in a place without others.  But being alone can be pleasant, whether one is simply sitting and thinking; working on a hobby, watching television, doing whatever, alone.  Being lonely is when a person feels isolated and that can happen when one is alone or when one is in a crowd.  Not a big surprise?

       You would be surprised at how many people actually feel lonely without recognizing the feeling of loneliness.  Sometimes these people will work desperately at keeping busy to avoid that feeling of loneliness and yet, as remorseless as time, it will be there because the person is not addressing that feeling.  I do not pretend to be a psychiatrist or psychologist but as I’ve written over the last couple of days, we all need to slow down and take a measurement of ourselves on a regular basis.  No one can feel completely healthy in mind, body or spirit without taking a figurative pulse of one’s mental state.

       I will notice my mother, who just turned 79, sitting quietly alone in the living room, sometimes in the dark.  I will come in to the room, flick on the light and ask her “what are you doing?” and she turns to me and says simply “just thinking”. Then I mentally kick myself as I realize that she is not lonely, she is simply meditating in her own way.  Then I break her spell and ask her to tell me what she was thinking and she looks delighted and prepares to expound on her latest revelation.

       My bad?  I cannot tell.