Being intrepid

Sometimes my ideas spring out of me with no explanation but then they continue to fly before I fully grasp the thought and poof! It is gone.  It occurs more frequently and then my panic sets in and I think “Still Alice” syndrome (aka early onset Alzheimer’s).  Although it wouldn’t be “early onset” anymore as I was saying to my girlfriends yesterday, I’m almost 59.

      My friend Brenda has past the 60 year milestone and she says she still can’t believe it (it’s been 2 years).  Thinking about that looming in close sight I also can’t believe it.  People can say it’s the new 50, that it isn’t old, that we are as young as we feel but seriously 60 is OLD.  60 has always sounded like an old number to me age or not.  I must say that I am feeling a little intimidated about saying “I’m 60”.

      You are asking “why say it”?  Well, I am not the kind to hide my age.  I don’t believe a person should be ashamed of their age and it isn’t anything to hide from.  Not saying it doesn’t make it untrue.  However, I am thinking “I really don’t like it”.

      How is a person supposed to feel at age 60?  Are we supposed to walk with a cane (figuratively speaking), embrace grey hair, nod wisely and say “yes dearie”?  I don’t want to be Miss Marple, even though I want to be Miss Marple!  I don’t want people to say “she looks good for her age”, I want them to say “she looks good”.  I don’t want to hover on the brink of “elderly”.

      I have many times said that I feel young inside, I am still 18 on the inside, but that very round number has me nervous.  Will I still feel young and gay when I roll over that figure?  Will something happen to me inside, deflate me, puncture my soul, cause me to start really feeling my age?

      Snap out of it, this is 18 months away, you are saying.  Remember, I am Scandinavian and we have “lang syn” (long sight) which means we can see far into the future.  It’s not a pretty sight this morning.

      “I’m gonna take a shower now.”  Shake these cobwebs off and start my sprightly walk.