Pain and Strength

For the last 9 months I have been suffering terribly with a knee injury without much relief.  I experience twinges and outright pain in other joints as a consequence and oftentimes it is agonizing.  I do not handle it all that well when I compare myself to my valiant 80 year old mother.  While I may not be crying or moaning I find myself wondering at the level of pain my mother has been suffering with her rheumatoid arthritis for the past 20 years.  Here is an example of fortitude that is hard to imitate let alone match.  It is seldom, I could almost say never, that I hear Mom even say she is in pain.  She quietly goes about her tasks, her knitting and sometimes I will see her take an aspirin for the pain but never does she say “oiy, oiy, oiy, I have a pain”. 

Yesterday I wrote about character, I wrote about life lessons and how I had learned a lot about living a life within one’s means.  Today I simply want to attest to the fine character of my mother as she tolerates unbelievable pain on a daily basis with a grace and dignity that is truly commendable.  When she quietly asks if I can help her open up a new jar of jam, or wrestle with the milk container I take it from her and chide her “you are getting to be very high maintenance, Mom” and she grins and says “I know”.  Her sense of humour is unimpaired as is her sense of the ridiculous.  We go together down to the Palais Poulet to usher the girls into it for the night and chuckle at their antics.  She admonishes herself as she spills some coffee while carrying it to one or other of her children and says “I’ll never be a waitress” and we tell her that’s what she’s been for the last 60 years when she's catered to a husband and 6 children.

This may not be Mother’s Day but I feel moved to write that I have the most admirable mother in the world and maybe someday I can be like her.

Expectations and Disappointments

Life is filled with joys and sorrows, achievement and mistakes, expectations and disappointments all of which is not surprising to anyone of maturity.  How an individual handles life is an indication of character and character, where does it come from?  One can look inside a large family and find a variety of personalities which have some points in common and yet are amazingly different.

Life lessons come both from personal experience but also from learning about other people’s lives.  This learning may come from reading but also from listening to their stories.  The disadvantage of most people is twofold, they are poor listeners and few seldom pick up a book after they’ve left school. I find it both fascinating and frightfully appalling to observe people in public as they are either bobbing their heads to music that is blasting in their earplugs or they are obsessively staring at their cellphone.  Unfortunately they are either texting or they are playing games on these contraptions as very few are actually reading a book.

So when things take a turn for the worse most people are caught completely off guard and then they wonder what they should do.  As financial advisers will tell you, most people live paycheque to paycheque even though it has been recommended for decades that one should have three to six months salary in savings for eventualities.  But advertisers are more appealing that financial advisers (apparently) as people have bought into the idea of “live now, pay later” philosophy that is blasted at us in all sorts of ways.  So when people have high expectations they better be prepared for huge disappointments when things go askew yet they seldom are. 

Reading a historical novel that demonstrates humanity’s folly while at the same time living with what is popularly called “uncertainty” I have the opportunity to observe how people are handling this situation.  Some with grace, some with wisdom but many with a hand wringing that is quite surprising and stressful to observe.  I’m grateful every day that my parents gave us life lessons, that I read vociferously and that I was born with phlegm.             

Censoring Myself

I don’t like censoring myself but sometimes the better part of valour is to do just that.  There are a number of hot topics in the news right now but while I would dearly love to hop on the bandwagon and spout my beliefs I feel I am wiser to refrain.

Now you might ask “okay, where’s Sanne, what have you done with her?” but it really is me making this statement.

Why, you may ask?

The reason is that sometimes, I am sure, we all get sick of having others preach what is right, what is wrong, what should be done, what needs to be undone, and so on.  Opinions, we are all entitled to those, but not everyone ought to shoot off at the mouth on questions simply because the question du jour puts them in the spotlight.  I dislike American movie stars coming up to Canada telling us what we are doing wrong with our country.  Personally, I dislike anyone telling me what I am doing wrong but nationally I also take exception to strangers talking about our business if they aren’t specifically in that business.  I’m pretty sure that the folks over in the Middle East dislike westerners getting in their business; in fact, isn’t that one of the big reasons why we have all the turmoil in this world today?

So yes, today I am censoring myself because there are enough opinions flying around in the media to suffice on the topic of the day.

Instead, let’s talk about the weather.  Vanilla anyone?

A Leap of Faith

I had an interesting discussion with a friend today on the extremes of artistic endeavour on the one end and absolute conviction on the other side.  One may be perceived as selfish while the other is selfless but at the same time there is also an up and down side to either pursuit.  Specifically, if an artist pursues their passion to the exclusion of all else, their lives as well as others, is that admirable?  If someone has a deep seated conviction on righting the wrongs of the world, is that admirable in and of itself? 

To my mind in a normal, common sense world, there must be balance in all things.  Is it necessary for a genius to follow their muse to the exclusion of everyone and everything but their art?  If we take some examples we seem to see a sort of selfishness in their pursuit, people like Van Gogh, Michelangelo, Strauss.  Yet we also find people like the Curies, pursuing science even to the point of death.  For some who end up pursuing a cause, is it because of their strong belief in the righteousness, rightness of their cause or have they come to it by default?  For example, Terry Fox, running for a cure for cancer; Dr. Morgentaler taking up the cause of the right to abortion or Abraham obeying God to the brink of killing Isaac.

The purpose of the analysis was to define whether extremes brought one closest to the brink of romantic genius.

Perhaps a good example is to look at the work of the three Bronte sisters.  Anne went out into the world for the longest period of time and critics generally agree that her work shows the least signs of genius.  Emily, on the other hand, was very much a recluse and both her novel and poetry are considered genius.  In the middle we have Charlotte, who produced the largest volume of work most of which was done in relative seclusion.  After her marriage she did not produce anything of note.  Can one say that Emily was the most selfish of the three in the fact that she was incapable of facing the outside world, was incapable of finding work and instead retreated into her fantasy world thereby creating one of the greatest novels of all time?

We struggled with the question of extremes and where it could take one, from a romantic perspective.  Abstract thinking at its best.

Sunshine, Summertime and Solace

June is my favorite time of year and not just because it’s my birthday, or that school ends and I can get a seat on the bus again.  June in Southern Alberta is when summer really begins.  This is when a person can go into a garden centre and forget everything by getting lost in the scents and sights of plants and trees.  Generally when I go shopping I like it to be an in-and-out procedure but I have yet to make a mad dash for the door when I enter a garden centre.

This year I purchased water plants for the first time and I must admit that I have no idea what I am doing.  I anxiously ran out early this morning to see if they survived the chill of last night but they looked fine, although huddled together at one end of the pond.  It will take some time to see them spread out and the big question is do they overwinter?  The answer is yes, but with extreme care and attention to what each variety likes.

Summertime has as many challenges as winter but somehow I seem to be able to cope with them with a lot more poise and sangfroid.  Wet bottom from sitting on the lawn tractor, no problem just change pants three times a day; mosquito bites, no worries, dab a little nail polish remover on the bite; heat stroke, no worries, crawl on hands and knees to kitchen, drink some water, splash more on face and arms and then lie in bed until the sensation of a world spinning recedes.  Explain to colleagues that you are a gardener and “please ignore all dirt under nails, they will be clean again in September”.  The difference between a sun worshipper and a gardener is that the gardener’s tan is uneven.  We may be tanned from hands up to mid arm, deep v at neck, ankles brown but knees white.  But we are as blissful in the sun as the worshipper but way more productive (we fondly believe).

A gardener can barely sit still long enough to drink her coffee or tea before she spots at least 10 different areas in the garden that need her Immediate, I repeat, Immediate attention.  If only she were a clone!  This is when she eyes her Henriettas with an impatient air, wondering when they will be old enough to come beyond the pen and start on dandelion patrol.  At the end of a long summer day the gardener can sit still long enough to admire a spot of colour somewhere in the jungle of green sprouting everywhere, give a sigh of satisfaction and say, “after all, tomorrow is another day”.