Pre-retirement Planning

As promised today is about retiring (again). I had a truly wonderful conversation with a nice lady named Dolores yesterday. We spent an hour on the phone where we first discussed my various scenarios for retiring; that is at age 65, 60, 62 or now! Then we took a look at my financials which I had sent her in advance. This spreadsheet had my current expenses, income, assets and liabilities which we reviewed to ensure that I hadn’t missed anything. My goodness but she was thorough.

One of the first things she said to me that I was very wise to be calling at age 57. She said most people don’t even think about things until AFTER they have retired. Can you imagine? I’ve already been researching for the past FIVE years! I didn’t tell her that. I know my friend Palo’s husband wondered how old I was when she mentioned my retiring research to him. He thought I was young. (I just adore him). The other interesting thing Dolores said was that most people generally low ball their expenses. I didn’t brag to her that I was spot on with my expenses. As I might have mentioned before when the Canadian researcher came to my house we spent more than two hours going over my income and expenses. She had about 500 questions (no kidding, it took forever and it was the night of the ER finale – but that’s another story) which encompassed minutiae like how much money I spent per year on shampoo! When we were done I was out about $3.00 and she was terribly impressed that I knew where all my money went. And this was all done just sitting in the living room and me giving verbally answers to her clipboard questions! Okay, so NOW I am bragging. The point is, Dolores didn’t need to worry, if anything I had overstated some expenses just so I wouldn’t appear too cheap. LOL

Finally I had to ask her “So can you tell me roughly what a person should be looking at for income when they retire, given my circumstances?” I could hear the smile in her voice as she said “When people ask for a ‘give me the bottom line’ answer we tell them a quarter of a million dollars, no debt, then with the CPP and Old Age we say withdraw 4% of that $250,000 which equals $10,000.” So that would be approximately $25,000 per year so I was spot on (again) in my estimating.

We went through a scenario where I would retire at 62, changing my expense figures to what I would spend after retiring. She congratulated me on being in such good financial shape and said if I wanted to I could retire at 60 and still have funds to last until 85 (without factoring in growth).

Let me tell you that it gives me a liberated feeling that I am “safe”.

We did discuss medical but this is not her area of expertise so she said “shop around” for a provider and then research whether I should just pay up as I go. It didn’t sound as though she was very fond of insurance companies, as who is? I believe they have the same reputation as lawyers; not good.

So I am dancing the Happy Dance.

And by the way, she said she hoped I would live it up a little even now and not leave a million dollars in an estate. She said it is surprising how many people want to factor that into their retirement planning. Why we both wondered? It was interesting that Dolores actually led us into this conversation but we had discussed this at our book club last Saturday. Don’t worry about it ladies, the kids will be alright without their inheritance!

Skipping in the Sunshine

Sunshine, you are my sunshine! Actually I am typing in my underwear but what’s the difference? The good news is we are in for some great weather today and that makes my day.

I watched the new show “Body of Proof” with Dana Delaney last night and I liked it. The character has just the right mix of toughness and vulnerability. Who knew I would like Dana Delaney, the woman who made me jealous in “Tombstone”. She was so wrong for Kurt Russell. I had never seen China Beach but I saw the commercials so I know she was in that show but before Tombstone I had never seen her in anything. I liked her as Katherine on Desperate Housewives because I liked to see Bree squirm! She was wicked.

Ah well, I will probably not be watching the show regularly because it conflicts with the only new show that I like. The Good Wife is in its second season and I just enjoy it. I like Alicia, she is a character with integrity, something we see so little of these days on television or film. I wish we did see more wholesome shows. Instead we seem to get fed an awful lot of trash and things which may be funny in the short term but has lasting effects on our thinking. Not in a good way.

The question is, does television shape morals or do morals shape television? I lean toward the idea that television is shaping us. When we see teenagers smart mouthing their parents we begin to imitate that behaviour. I well remember my mother being disgusted with the show “Welcome Back Kotter” because the kids in the class were so smart alecky. She believes television went downhill from there. Just look at the way Roseanne talked to her husband in front of her kids. You never saw Mrs. C speak like that to Howard on “Happy Days”.

And in case anyone doubts that mothers wore dresses around the house i can vouch that my mother often wore a skirt and in the summer time she might wear a cotton dress. She didn’t go around in high heels however she wore slippers. And my mother always wore makeup in the house. Until she was in her fifties and we had moved to a small town I had never known my mother to go shopping in anything but a skirt and heels. Never. She was the most glamorous mom in the neighbourhood and I well remember as a teenager getting incensed when I became aware of strange men ogling my mother in the vegetable section of the grocery store.

Ah, I just remembered, today I have the first of my two phone calls with a pre-retirement specialist! I will let you know tomorrow what I’ve learned about financial planning for retirement.

This is a Garth Williams picture

Now What?

My goodness but sometimes I wonder what gets into me! What has possessed me to start writing a political blog? Sure I like to pay attention to what is going on with our various levels of government and I have been known to spout off a time or two when I get particularly incensed. But writing a blog about politics is not like writing a blog about a middle aged brain! After all I do have a sense of humour and one ought not to be funny when attempting to guide people’s thinking towards responsible voting. At least that is what I keep telling myself when as I erase certain lines from my writing!

I take my politics seriously though and I feel an obligation to write accurately about the subjects so I have been glued to my desk for days on end researching to ensure that I am being correct in my thoughts. Who knew how hard it could be? In particularly, downloading articles and especially the party sites has been painful. Slow as molasses in January! I did find some interesting sites though so I am also learning something as I “teach”.

Back to the original question. Why am I doing this? I have long realized that using the internet as a way to communicate could be an effective way of getting the message “out there”. The traditional media is controlled by wealthy men who have a vested interest in keeping the status quo. I saw this in the 1993 elections when I was running as the NDP candidate in my riding. After the speeches and debates the reporters swarmed by me, looking me right in the eye as they did so, and took their microphones to the conservative and reform candidates. They completely ignored the other candidates. I well remember one particularly nasty woman who almost sneered at me as she walked by. I was very surprised that a “journalist” (and one can only use that term loosely on people like this) would reveal herself so blatantly. Besides seeing it on a personal level on the national level the NDP were “blacked out”. Almost nothing was written about their campaigns throughout the country. It was a disgrace to journalism and I am afraid nearly 20 years later I have still not forgiven them.

Currently the internet is accessible to anyone who wants to give voice to their opinions and it is my hope that more than one of us will go “viral”. I had hoped to postpone my launch until Canada Day but as the writ fell for election May 2^nd what could I do? I had to take up the cause and run with what I had prepared. I just finished “D:” last night and let me tell you, I am shaking in my boots for tonight. At least tonight I know that E is for Education. Last night I couldn’t decide what D stood for – it was a tough one, trying to keep it apropos of the election.

So here is one poor little journalist, struggling to make the world a better place. And I promise I won’t give anyone dirty looks. LOL

Here We Go Again

Another start to the week but at least this is a short week, we have Friday off. April Fool’s! No really, we do have Friday off. ::::::J

I woke this morning from a nightmare where I was late for school, and the more I hurried the more late I became. Don’t you just hate that sort of dream? I woke up all in a lather and I am still not quite out of that frame of mind. The good thing about it though, was that I was so energized that I abstained from coffee and toast this morning, choosing yogurt for breakfast and then went on to do my morning workout which I haven’t done in over three weeks! It’s only 4:30 this morning and I am already dressed and ready for work! So that is an upside.

The downside is that we still have miserable weather which is getting stretched over the next couple of days. Yesterday they said we would get plus 10 on Wednesday but i have my suspicions that a pattern has developed and it will be three days hence, and then another three days. I was visiting with my mother yesterday and she said she had been all depressed last week as well. Everyone I have talked with has said the same things. They are so tired of winter. I could go all Pollyanna on you and play the Glad Game but I am still not in that positive frame of mind that I normally find myself in first thing in the morning. I hardly know myself anymore!

The solution seems to be is NOT to listen to weather forecasts, they can be so discouraging!

Be that as may be, I have another week ahead of me. The floor will be lonely this week, my colleague Palo and one of my bosses are both on vacation, and both in San Francisco. Lucky them! My turn comes in June.

This is an Elizabeth Shippen Green

Sundays in the Park, I think it was . . .

I like to use my Sundays for “down time”. I like to read in bed until at least 8:00, take a nice hot bath, have a late second breakfast where I sit in my living room looking west to the mountains or in summer I will sit in the sunroom overlooking the garden and write haiku either in my mind or on paper depending on how good they are. Then I will do some housekeeping which takes up the rest of the morning. In the afternoon I may have someone over for coffee or I will cozy up to watch a good movie from my collection or (less often) if there is something good on TV. Sundays I like to make a specially nice dinner and open a bottle of wine which then lasts the rest of the week! I’m a one glass Susie.

Many years ago now I started using Sundays as part of my greening of the environment. I don’t drive on Sundays as part of my contribution to reduce carbon emissions. I am not an avid environmentalist because I don’t like to ride on some else’s bandwagon. I do it because it fits in with my overall scheme of having a quiet Sunday. It’s the same reason why I do my recycling. It is convenient for me to dispose of my cardboard, jars and cans in the recycling system. I have no illusions about what really goes on with the recycling. Most of it ends up in the dump anyway, but at least I’m making efforts to do the right thing.

I’m just watching some dufus on the corner scraping his windows of his car and wondering why he didn’t do it before he drove 5 kms to this corner. People are always in such a hurry and never seem to plan ahead for things. That cannot be said of my father or I. We are the bred of long-sightedness which can be both a blessing and a curse. The blessing is that we are generally always prepared for the worst but the curse is that I, at least, find myself almost going insane when other people frustrate my plans or my organized life. Take the other day for example, no let’s take the whole week. One individual at work made last minute requests of me twice in one week. Both times it was not because this person hadn’t known about the event at hand for several weeks. No, I am not going to start arranging a taxi pool for 75 people 4 hours before departure time to the airport. No, I am not going to find you a babysitter only hours before the event. This last request had me flabbergasted. I honestly thought it was a joke! One, NO. Two, PLANNING. Three, NO CLUE since I don’t live in this city, have no kids, no contacts to even consider it and four, DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS.

I am constantly amazed at the way people don’t think ahead. If you know you have to do thus and so surely you should know what all is required in the case? If you have 3 kids under 4 and you and your wife are going out for the evening what did you think was going to happen to them? If you are a manager and go through management planning seminars wouldn’t you consider ahead when you are going to do something out of the ordinary? Apparently this is a unique way of thinking. Only 1 in 10 think ahead. My experience leads me to say it’s more like 1 in 100! Seriously.

Sundays I plan ahead for the week. I have a pretty good idea of what is going to happen during the week (like, go to work, come home, make supper, sleep). I check my car to ensure that it isn’t due for an oil change because I need to do that only on weekends. I make sure I have clothes lined up for the week, clean underwear and socks, check. Pantyhose, check. Money in the wallet for lunches, check. Tickets for the C-train in case I drive on Friday, check. I am also prepared for the unexpected. That would be, say, someone invites me to lunch. Sure, no problem. Go to a movie, not likely. I cannot go during the week because that would mean driving in the dark and I would come home too late.

Does that sound weird? Not if you know I get up at 4:00 a.m. and need 7 hours of sleep. Can’t be done. Sometimes I do wonder if I have a form of ADHD or other dysfunctional syndrome but I am only joking because really, can’t people have their ways without having a label put on them?

Allow me to be Sanne. Remove all labels. Be happy. It’s Sunday. Chill.

My Cup is Empty

This girl is running on empty today. If someone looked in my gratitude journal they would notice how often I end with `My cup runneth over` and I promise you that this is how I feel many times during the week. I am not unappreciative of my life and my world. This past week however has been one tough one and it is all related to this unremitting weather.

I can battle a lot of things but nature sure isn`t one of them. Nature is cruel but it is true, that`s what my father used to say.

I was planning this article earlier this morning and it segued into how much a woman takes on her shoulders in the course of her life. Our nature is to be nurturers of the world but in the twentieth century woman`s world took on an additional aspect by entering into the work force on a grand scale. This isn`t a history lesson so I won`t get into all of that but in the last four decades it is a given that a woman will go out and work even after she has children. In addition her education has led woman into the professional world and a practical mind questions `why would I go to university and get a degree and then not use it`?

Women today are between a rock and a hard place. They are juggling so many balls in the air and they are afraid to let any one of them fall. That’s how I have been feeling all week since I’ve been taking on a lot of things at home. I am assisting in organizing our Class of ’71 portion of our high school reunion this May, I am preparing to launch my second blog which date has been accelerated due to the calling of the federal election (more on that later), I’m facilitating a fashionista day for my book club next weekend and this bloody snow will not stop! Enough already. I cannot handle, in advance warnings, 3 days of steady snow in the middle of March. Are you serious David Spence? And now we have an extra 3 days of it. I am ready to put a fork in my eye.

At work I have also had it very busy with our team building session (which went off beautifully by the way), planning meetings in the middle of our building move and people running off for vacations during the spring break. Not to mention my personal agenda at work which ended up getting postponed again. Yes, it has been a trying week and then my brother Eirk came in and suggested that I needed to work on being more efficient and active at home because I was in danger for getting Alzheimer’s. Just what I needed to hear.

So yes, my cup is empty this morning. I am going to take a long hot bath, wash my hair and imagine Bette Davis handling her life. Look out book club, you may have Baby Jane knocking on the door this afternoon!

The Calgary Tower, Vertigo Theatre and Team Building

I am rather groggy this morning, I got home at 11:20 p.m. and up at 4;00 but I confess I hit the snooze for 10 minutes before getting up. Then I ate a dozy breakfast, what did I eat? Right, toast with cheese and coffee. We had a terrific teambuilding session yesterday though where we merely socialized, which I think are the best ways of learning to know people. I could tell everyone was enjoying themselves because there was such a terrific buzz of conversation in the tables behind me and my own table was pretty talkative as well.

We enjoyed a really fabulous three course meal at the Sky360 in the Calgary Tower and Mother Nature was kind to us. We had a spectacular view as the restaurant moved around in its circle before the fog started to roll in. The service was perfect and we had plenty of time to walk next door to the Vertigo Theatre to hang up our coats in our own private room and then take our seats before the play started. The play was Agatha Christie’s “and Then There Were None”. It was well done, I was very impressed with the sets, the acting and the great laughs they managed to pull out of a murder mystery. It was nearly 10 before we headed out to find a cab which took less than no time. I hope my friend Jane got her cab right after ours. She was noble and allowed us to get the first cab because we had so much farther to go than her living downtown as she does. So we were off to the C-train station for the next leg of the journey.

On the way home my nephew Christopher, who was my date, told me more about his horrific day on the job as a high school teacher. Poor lad had his first really serious experience dealing with a Grade 10 student high on drugs and another student who decided he was unfair to her for punishing her, “the angelic one in a class of rowdies”. He had handled it quite well he thought, as did his TA, but when we were almost at my car he began to talk about a second career. I was concerned for him but he said he was “just venting”. High school is not for the faint of heart but Christopher isn’t the faint of heart. I felt sorry for him having to experience this in his second week of high school. This is just his practicum but he is getting baptism by fire as they say.

I have the utmost confidence this Christopher will succeed in his chosen field, his dream since grade 2, but I wish I could make some of the nastiness go away for him. So sad to see students in their first year of high school already destroying their lives. I hope that Christopher, once he is a certified teacher, will make a difference to many of them and get them back on track and into meaningful lives. If anyone can, it will be Christopher. This is not a job to him, it’s a passion. Eventually the students will see that. Meanwhile, I am glad that I was able to top up his day with having him be my date since it gave him the opportunity to watch his favorite Agatha!

Goodbye Elizabeth

When I was barely 9 years old I read the headline “Most Beautiful Woman in the World is Dead” and it went on to say Marilyn Monroe had died. So I asked my father “Now who’s the most beautiful woman in the world?” His answer was “Elizabeth Taylor”. That was 1962.

Throughout my childhood, teen years and young adulthood I saw Elizabeth Taylor on the newsstands almost weekly. Before tabloids there were the movie magazines like “Photoplay”, “Screenland”, “Movieland” and “Screen Play” whose stories were usually quite wholesome family fare. I wasn’t old enough to have seen “National Velvet” or “Lassie” but I certainly saw stories about them in the magazines. Then in 1964 there was the big explosion of Liz’s romance with her Cleopatra costar Richard Burton. They were so incredibly in love there was no concealing it and since Liz had already been declared a homewrecker for running off with her best friend’s husband this news was all over the papers, even regular papers. I hadn’t known much about the Eddie Fisher story at this point but I don’t think anyone over 10 didn’t know about Richard Burton! For 10 years we read about this famous couple and their glamorous lifestyle. Who can forget the famous Hope Diamond? How romantic to be given the biggest diamond in the world! We brought magazines to school and talked about them like we knew them personally.

I always thought Elizabeth Taylor was the most glamorous woman in Hollywood. She was stunningly beautiful and even when she started having horrible weight problems and “bad hair days” her eyes were just so incredible you hardly noticed the rest of her. No one, before or since, has had such perfect eyes. And her face, a perfect oval and all her features in perfect proportion. When she finally started giving really in depth interviews I discovered what a remarkably intelligent and witty woman she was. There was more to her than a pretty face.

But forget her beauty and her marriages and her career. Elizabeth Taylor was an incredible force when she began her philanthropic career, working endlessly for her cause, Aids Awareness. I think this cause was really the making of her as a human being and only imagine if she had used her power earlier in her life, what she couldn’t have accomplished. I have always believed that she was mercilessly exploited in her youth which explains her crazy marriages.

Elizabeth was a flawed human being making plenty of mistakes, but you have to give her credit. She lived with pizzaz, with flare and absolutely she lived it to the fullest and with true courage.

Goodbye to the last Hollywood Glamour Queen. You will not be replaced.

socks, shoes, and such

Oh my goodness but I do get a kick out of Richard Simmons. This morning's blog is about Happy Feet and he just made me laugh. No more feeling sad about snow - I'm working on happy feet!

Snow, Snow, Snow

The other day I spent most of it feeling incredibly depressed which was mostly due to the snow that is predicted for the next three days. Woe is me! The good news is that I can scratch one of my two days of depression for the year off my list.

But the bad news is that with the return of this inclement weather I have been backsliding with my exercise program. I had been out there walking every night after work which was very exhilarating and now I am back to being a couch potato. My bones even feel depressed. I know, I know. It’s just excuses but honestly at the end of the day I cannot be as gung-ho as I am in the morning when I read Richard’s words. But I hate being sweaty before I have to go to work at 4 a.m. that is just not going to happen!

So back to square one, be moderate in my eating habits and worry about the exercise when phase to of the spring comes around.

Having got that off my chest I can just ask this? How am I doing with this blog? You’ll notice that I have been a bit bland and banal lately but there is a real reason for it (besides not being inspired). It’s because what has been on my mind is POLITICS. But I am holding back in my preaching because I have decided to dedicate all the preaching to a new blog. I’ve already got it signed up. It’s called The ABCs of Canadian Politics. But I won’t launch it yet. I’m thinking perhaps July 1^st would be appropriate. This blog will be serious stuff, no humour (wow, I am really encouraging you to get right on that one, eh?). If you know me at all you will know that of course there will be humour and I will not be able to refrain from sarcasm. But I am going to try at least to feed people facts. It’s important in these critical times to understand what is happening in our country and around the world. Which just reminds me – I missed the budget coming down tonight! Better start doing my research – stay tuned.

Sugar Ray and Kirstie Alley

Due to snow I was home late so I missed the first half hour of the new season but I managed to catch Sugar Ray Leonard and Kirstie Alley. I had mentioned to Erik that Sugar Ray was going to be one and he was adamant he still wasn’t going to watch the show. Did he watch the show? Wait to find out.

I love the dance, it’s the only reality show that I care to watch and the judges are really quite decent in their comments. They aren’t mean like on the other shows, even though Len can be a bit of a pooh. My favorite dances are the waltz, the jive and the quick step, though sometimes the last two look so much alike I’m not sure what I am watching. Overall I have to stay that Jennifer Grey has been the greatest dancer on the show, she is a natural. But there have been so many really great entertainers, when they get into the finals there have been some really fantastic dances and from some of the most surprising people. Say what you will, with Bristol Palin’s staying power she certainly did improve tremendously the last couple of weeks, you have to give her credit for her efforts.

Wow, Kirstie Alley nailed her cha cha, what great footwork. If she keeps it up she’s going to win the trophy!

Erik, as usual, made it up for the finale of Sugar Ray. He was working on dry walling the basement!

Nancy Drew and other heroines

One of my first book series that I enjoyed was Nancy Drew. After reading a couple of them I used to look for adventure. I remember one time my sister Jeanette and I decided that the way to find adventure was to follow the creek to its source. We set out on a Saturday morning and walked for what seemed like miles. We went under the busy New Street using the sewer pipe and walked past homes that were definitely “in the country”, probably acreages as we would call them today. Eventually the creek started to get soggy and undefined and a dog was barking on a leash which scared us enough to turn around and go home. Our reward for all that walking was the usual “soakers” and a scolding from our mother. At the end of it we were very dissatisfied with our adventure. At the very least we were hoping to discover treasure, a body, some kind of mystery. After all that’s how it always ended with Nancy.

Have you noticed how some people seem to always find themselves in a situation? The only situations I find myself in are the ridiculous kind, no the mysterious ones. Like going to work without my skirt or coming home to a bunch of massacred chickens. Actually the latter was kind of mysterious. The chickens were lying in the yard, dead. The odd thing about them was that they were all flat as a pancake. Not normal. I wondered if weasels, since I thought it was weasels that had killed the chickens, sucked their blood. Well, when I mentioned this at work the salesmen all started laughing and describing the weasels as vampires. I hadn’t seen a weasel until a few years later, but that’s another story! The point being that I was simply ignorant about weasels and wondered why the chickens would be so flat? I still haven’t solved that mystery.

I was quite shattered as a young woman when I read that Carolyn Keene was a fictitious identity for a series of writers of Nancy Drew. Carolyn Keene was a syndicate! But that did explain the inconsistencies in the books. One time Nancy was a blonde and then she became titian haired (as in strawberry blonde). George was supposed to be the tomboy but Nancy kept winning all the athletic competitions. And George would always chicken out before Nancy. After a while those discrepancies were bothering me. But for a few years Nancy was exciting reading and even today I love a mystery. In a way Nancy kind of grew up to be Jessica Fletcher of Murder, She Wrote!

Now what kind of adventure can I find today? Hmmm. There’s always the bus ride. I really hope that we don’t have to stand on the side of the road this morning when the bus breaks down. You see, we are breaking in a new bus and inevitably there is a reason WHY the bus was such a good buy. Will Greg ever learn?

New York New York

I’ve alluded to my trip to New York City a few times in the blog but since I went there in late October, prior to starting this blog in earnest, I have not really told about my experience. To start with it was an impulsive trip. The offer was made and I said yes because I felt that I would never get a chance to go there on my own and this particular offer was with a group of women all bent on shopping til they dropped. Sounded like fun.

It was much more than what I expected. For one thing I was surprised at how safe I felt in Manhattan even on the subway. I was surprised at how clean it was. The weather was perfect autumn, sunny, warm, no wind. So unlike Alberta weather. There was colour everywhere, the trees, the buildings, the shop windows. And people in New York were so friendly. That was the biggest surprise of all. I had this stereotype picture of the obnoxious American, particularly New Yorker, in my mind and what I actually met with something quite different. I loved it. Loved it.

The shopping was terrific. I got so many beautiful clothes for great prices. It helped to have a stylist with me who really knew her business. She got me into some fantastic clothes and 6 months later I am still getting tons of compliments from my coworkers on my changed look. Kelli, you rock girl.

The food was expensive but delicious and the service in the restaurants was really great. I loved buying hot peanuts on the street, so New York. I loved walking around Time Squares at midnight and everything was still hopping. The lights were still bright and people were laughing and moving about and just plain old having a good time.

And New York’s finest, nice men. I’ve always liked and trusted policemen. The policemen were really sweet and willing to pose for Ginny which again surprised me.

When we were on the subway people were willing to answer our questions and help us find our way around. I never once felt threatened or unsafe. Even when we got out of the subway and were obviously lost in the middle of the night I didn’t feel nervous. It helped, of course, that we were 6 women together but no one came up to us or hustled us in any way.

Altogether it was a wonderful experience and believe me, I would go back to New York.

But next trip will be San Francisco!

Temple Grandin and Autism

I happened to catch the Clare Danes movie the other night and thought she was wonderful as the title character Temple Grandin. I naturally had to discover more about her so looked her up on Wikepedia. How interesting to know that high functioning autism can lead the individual into a meaningful career. We had read “House Rules” at book club for February which dealt with Asperger’s “on the autism spectrum”, as they call it.

When we were discussing the book I didn’t get an opportunity to say something that was in the back of my mind. And that is this habit we have of labeling everything. Have you noticed that since they started to write about ADHD that every second kid in school seems to have it? If someone operates in slightly outside the norm they search to find a label for it. I like my friend Barbara’s way of commenting on someone different.

“He’s a very special person.”

That can encompass a whole range of problems or symptoms but doesn’t particularly label the person. I get the message that this person is not cooperating like he/she should. But Barbara is very polite and doesn’t need to say any more. I’m pretty sure a lot of the time she would like to say he is a jerk (or worse). However, sometimes it might be better to say the person with high functioning autism is “a very special person” and leave it at that.

I know this seems kind of odd for me to say. Naturally I am not talking about not identifying the situation to the people who need to know. But it’s like the CIA files, “it’s on a need to know basis”, not everyone needs to know. I am probably as guilty as everyone else in putting labels on people but I am conscious of labeling becoming overdone.

This topic needs more work as I seem not to be saying what is in my mind very clearly. I must be experiencing low functioning Elsie Heymer’s. For those not in the know it means that I haven’t quite formulated what the heck I am complaining about.

Now let that be a lesson to you!

Another Jessie W. Smith

Book Club Reads

I thought it was about time that I brought you up to date on our book readings. March’s book is “Little Bee” by Chris Cleaver. I am not enjoying it. It has taken more than half the book to get into the nitty gritty, which was intense and well done, I will say that. But I am not enamoured of any of the characters though I am getting worried about Little Bee. I am afraid she will die or get sent back to Nigeria and then die. No, don’t tell me. I like the suspense.

But as anyone in my book club will tell you, I really, really dislike adultery. I have no use for anyone who commits adultery. Particularly in this day and age where everything is disposable, including marriage. There is no stigma about divorce. If you aren’t happy in your marriage, tell your spouse and then get out. Don’t skirt around. It’s pathetic. Here in this book we have two adulterers. That’s bad enough but I cannot find anything else to charm me. And I am not believing the kid at all, especially the fake baby talk. Spare me.

One of my favorite reads was in our first year “The Red Tent”; there were so many complex characters and the idea of the women having their flow at the same time was new to me. We had quite a discussion just on menstruation, as I recall. Adultery in this book was not annoying to me in the same way as it is in modern day stories. Life was different back then so I don’t get all tensed up and irritated by it. Besides, I was pretty familiar with my bible story so no big surprises there!

“Saying Grace” by Beth Gutcheon was another one about modern day adultery. I did not understand how the adultery in that book happened. But then, Gutcheon’s other book “Leeway Cottage” was another bizarre story where the female character inexplicably has at least one affair on her husband.

We don’t always have adulterous books (yikes, what a picture that creates in my mind). Some profoundly impacting books are “Left To Tell” and “A Thousand Splendid Suns”. We’ve read a number of Jodi Picoult’s books which we enjoy because of her “hot button topics”.

I adore books, as you can tell by my lists on this blog. Now that I have my Kindle I have to tell you that I am really excited by all the free books I can get which are so hard to get hold of in reality. Elizabeth Gaskell’s books. Love them. Gene Stratton Porter. Ditto. Edith Wharton. I am having a great time but the only problem is that I am falling behind on my book club reading! I think the Kindle (or any e-book) is the greatest invention this century. Who cares about cell phones or I-pads. Carrying around a whole library in my purse is just the greatest invention since lipstick.

P.S.

Stanley was born March 17th at 4 a.m. -- 8 lbs 13 oz. I think his middle name should be Patrick

Stanley, Stanley, Stanley

My godson Michael has been joyfully expecting his first child but the controversy over the baby’s name has been raging for months. Michael is a real hockey fan and when he told his mother that he was going to name his son Stanley after the Cup all hell broke loose.

“Stanley? What do you mean, Stanley? That is an ugly name. It’s old fashioned. It’s an ugly name, you can’t name a baby Stanley.” My sister exclaimed. If you could only hear the tone she uses when she pronounces STAN-ley.

Since then Jeanette has discussed the name with her family and friends ad naseum and she is in deep despair over this name. In fact she was speaking to her god daughter’s mother about Stanley and made the comment that she hopes it will be a girl so they will forget about the name Stanley. Some weeks later Jeanette was babysitting Cassidy and met a friend while they were out somewhere and Jeanette mentioned that Michael and Audrey were expecting. Then very quietly Cassidy enters the conversation.

“We’re hoping for a girl because we don’t want a Stanley.”

You can never say anything in front of a child without it coming back to haunt you!

Meanwhile I was down in Ecuador enjoying various shopping expeditions and I happened to find this beautiful Ecuadorian shirt for a little boy which I ended up buying for my great nephew Scott. I mentioned it on Facebook. Next thing I know Jeanette is skyping me to ask if I will be getting something for Stanley. Well, I was feeling very guilty so I started looking around for something for a baby boy, telling my companions that I needed to find a present for Stanley.

“Whose Stanley?” they asked.

“Oh, that’s my great nephew who is due in March.”

Now that we have been talking about Stanley for six months I have sort of become accustomed to the name and I think when you say a name often enough it sort of grows on you. And in our respective circles Jeanette and I have made Stanley a celebrity of sorts.

To paraphrase Shakespeare “A rose by any other name is still a Stanley.”

So, welcome to the world Stanley!

Salads

I know this is a peculiar title and a peculiar topic but if you knew how much I really loathe salads you will understand why I feel forced to write about my experience yesterday. This is what happened.

I went to the Husky cafeteria which is in the building next to ours and has enjoyed my patronage for two years. I generally get the Entrée with the excuse that I will then have a light supper (which I usually do). I’ve noticed that the server is generally quite skimpy with his portions but I think to myself “good, we don’t need to supersize our lunch” and so I never say anything which I notice other folks do, especially men. Today they had a nice cottage pie, the first time I’ve seen that as a choice so I decided that’s what I would have. There was salad on the side. I made a special effort to get some salad dressing to go with the salad.

I trotted back to the office, opened up the box and set the pie on one side of the box and fluffed up the so called salad. IT WAS NOT SALAD, IT WAS LETTUCE. LETTUCE, LETTUCE AND MORE LETTUCE. I found one tiny little purple sliver of purple cabbage. ONE SLIVER.

I hope I am making myself clear. No carrot shavings, no piece of tomato, no pepper, no onion. nadda, zippo, zilch, NOTHING.

I am very sorry but this is not salad. This is rabbit food. This is lettuce, plebian lettuce. Nothing fancy.

I suppose you can guess what is coming next. That’s right, it went into the garbage.

Richard, I love it when you describe your beautiful salads. If I had an email address for the Husky kitchen I would send them your link.

This was just plain wrong. I am not a rabbit. I am Woman, hear me roar!

Closet Writer

Psst, wanna hear a secret? I am a closet writer. Wanna hear something exciting? I’ve signed up for my first real writers’ course. I am truly excited about this huge step into a new career.

New career you wonder? Well, not right away of course, but this could be a real step into my retirement. Remember how I said having hobbies was important as part of your retirement planning. Now I must confess that I have wanted to be a writer since I was 13 years old but my parents had a more practical vision for me so for the last ten years or so I have been planning to work on writing after I completed my working career. Taking this step is a first step in that direction.

So what are you doing out there, you fifty somethings? Have you long harboured a secret passion that is just waiting to get out to see the sunshine? If you have, if there is any possibility that you might be able to take a step towards it, I hope you will take the chance. After all, once we are 65 who the heck is going to criticize us for whatever fantastic schemes we will come up with.

Remember to ask yourself, “whose looking?”

And the answer will be “only those who are genuinely interested in your success!”

This is by Elizabeth Shippen Green, friends with Jessie Wilcox Smith

Twitter

For someone who was groggy this morning - let me just say this. I do not understand Twitter. I really don't. I was told I must Twitter my blog so I am doing that but truly, I do not understand the purpose of Twitter. I look on the page (and by the way, I think Facebook tries to block Twitter, I am sure there's a story there) and my mind is blank. No idea what I am looking at, for, why, how.

I must be getting old as the concept completely escapes me. Perhaps you twitterers out there can enlighten the concept for me.

Hair Hair Hair

Actually, I am not sure what I should write about this morning. My hair is sticking up like a porcupine but my eyes are so groggy I can barely see to type! I was so lazy last night that I did not write a word. But I did go for a long walk after dinner so I suppose I have something to be proud of. First walk of the new year, at home.

Oh dear, now I have had my coffee, washed my face and smoothed down my hair but I do have something to worry about. I stepped in water as I was doing so and there is something going on under my bathroom sink. I cannot deal with that this morning. But I will be fretting about it all day.

Now I need to think of something to be grateful for in order to counteract my worry about the leak! Hmm, this shouldn’t be hard. Today is the day we get paid our LTI bonus (long term incentive), yippee! I’ll try not to spend it all in one place.

I’m grateful we are still enjoying this Chinook weather. I will be able to walk to my venues today to check them out for our teambuilding event next week. How did time fly so quickly?

I’m grateful for all my dear friends. Yesterday I had lunch with my best friend Silvia. She was worrying about her family and needed a shoulder to cry on and I am glad that I was able to “be there” for her. I just wish I had a million dollars to help her out!

I’m grateful for my good job, and a reliable car to get me to my commuter bus.

And I’m grateful I have a good head of hair and currently have a great haircut!

There, no more worries.

Another Jessie Wilcox Smith

Monday Monday

When I was in high school I was one of those freaky kids who actually liked Mondays because it meant I would be seeing Derrick. Yes, Derrick was my high school heartthrob. He, of course, didn’t know me from Eve (or should I say Jane Doe, since Eve rather invokes a tantalizing picture, which I was NOT).

These days Mondays are not so thrilling. Once again I have to go on the dreaded commuter bus, cold and uncomfortable. Mondays are particularly cold because it has not been warmed up during the week. Lest ye think that a Chinook makes the bus warmer, let me disabuse your mind. It does not. It is frigid. Even in the summer time I wear slacks and if I should not then I have a blanket wrapped around my legs. I have to wear a sweater under my summer trench coat because my arms get goosebumps. There are plenty of others on the bus doing the same thing so I am not a wimp. This is our process, summer or winter.

This Monday I do have several things to look forward to once I am passed the bus ordeal. I am finalizing our teambuilding plans for later this month and I have a lunch scheduled with my best friend. I might even get to see her new granddaughter if the weather is fine. I must remember my little Ecuadorian gift for her! As well, I have catch up time with all my favorite colleagues.

So Monday, here I come!

This is a drawing by Jessie Wilcox Smith