When I wrote about the Social aspect of retirement I was quite general and yet I have written a couple of blogs about friendship so forgive me for perhaps repeating myself.
Often when I think of friendship I think (and write) about what it gives me but today I just want to write a bit about the giving aspect of friendship. I spent a terrific day yesterday with one of my girlfriends. First she bore with me while I had my lenses changed into new glasses and then I went with her to look for new black slacks. As all of us know, young or old, it is not easy to find clothes that fit one perfectly so of course it took some time to find just the right pair of slacks. My friend kept apologizing for being fussy and I kept telling her to stop being ridiculous. What else would a girlfriend say? I was happy to spend time with her and while she tried on different pairs of slacks I enjoyed looking at the other clothes and eventually bought some jewelry. There’s always a perk for being patient!
Later we had a lovely lunch at a new (to us) restaurant and then we went to see “The King’s Speech” (loved it, Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush were excellent). We had a cup of coffee and chatted some more after the movie and then I was on my way back home. I just had a wonderful feeling all the way home for a lovely day. There was a real exchange of giving and taking, being helpful and understanding, listening and laughing together.
Today I will be spending time with two other friends in a different way. One of my friends and I are going to help the other friend sort out her new apartment. Sure it is going to be a busy working day but we will sip some wine in between and have some laughs and conversation as we go about the chores at hand. The interesting thing here is that we are both new friends to this “moving” friend and we are very happy to help her out but one wonders about her other friends not extending a hand. That’s why I am writing today about the giving part of friendship.
As a friend you might want to examine your relationships and recall the last time you gave your time, help or attention to your friend without there being something in it for yourself. I am a warm hearted person and really enjoy sending out cards and giving little gifts to my friends. I like to remember their birthdays and send an email or call them up to say Happy Birthday or Congratulations. When was the last time you did something like that? We ALL are busy in our lives but remember that the little things that only take five minutes are truly treasured by your friend. And also remember sometimes you have to take the giant steps and really extend a helping hand to a friend in need. Just lifting a few boxes and unpacking dishes and such is really nothing if it eases my friend’s mind. You see, she is going to have hip replacement surgery in a few weeks and since this is her second time she knows what is ahead of her and believe me, it isn’t a fun experience. So if I can help her take the worry of this move off her mind she can concentrate on getting her psyche into the right frame for this momentous surgery.
That’s what friends are for.
As a little aside, the second friend is also a new friend and I think she is so wonderful to also be happy to help. Cristy and Jane, you might be new friends but you are Keepers. For sure.
My cup runneth over!
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