Being Creative

Can you believe that being creative is hard work?  I have all these wonderful ideas but when I sit down at the craft table the ideas don’t always turn out the way I envisioned them.  But despite the “hard work” I just love sitting there and coming up with details, designs and more ideas.   

I think my time is coming when I can get back into something besides cut and paste (card making and scrapbooking).  I used to draw a lot; in fact when I was a teenager and in my early 20’s I spent a lot of free time in drawing and even some painting (although I have never been very good at painting I still love to dabble in it).  A few years ago I went to the Dollar Store and got finger-paints because I remember loving that in kindergarten!  It was really fun and I got paint all over myself just like a little kid. 

Remember after a rain how you’d go out in the mud and make mud pies?  I’m kind of feeling like that today but instead of mud pies I  will be splashing lots of water over my garden as I empty out my rain barrel for the winter.  Almost muddy but not quite.
Winter is quickly approaching so I have to get as much sunshine and fresh air as I can (chemo makes one extremely sensitive to cold, in fact it can choke a person up which is a very frightening experience).
So here’s to being creative and celebrating our inner child (which will come out).  J

Holy, holy, holy

After such serious blogs the last few days let’s talk about something nice.  While things can and are tough around the world there is always hearth and home to make things nice.  We Danes like to hygge (comfy, cosy) as much as possible.  My aunt Jonna was the Queen of Hygge.  By simply putting a candle on a coffee table (which she had added a runner or table cloth) she would set out coffee cups (on saucers), little dishes for cake, and then serve a dainty sandwich or bun and some little cakes.  Always simple but served with panache.  And we would chat, giggle, guffaw, laugh for an hour or two.  It was the chat and the laughter that kept us happy but her first setting the stage made it oh so perfect.

In Canada we tend to have mugs of coffee, a donut or Danish and skip the candles so the hygge is not always quite so perfect, but our family is good on the chat, the louder conversations (oh yeah, we can be Vikings) but we can also give a good belly laugh and sly chuckles.  Something we are good at is laughing at ourselves and also poking a finger at each other’s weak spot (mostly in a nice way). 

My girlfriends and I can hang out and be cosy with a cup of tea or coffee, a little nibble of this and that and Whole Lot of Conversation.  We can hit hot topics, politics, personal case history, books, you name it we can enjoy ourselves so much it’s hard to say goodbye.  That’s another kind of hygge.

Mom and I can hang out while we watch our soapie dopies, Mom will knit and I will lounge (yep, the chemo affects my hands and my eyes so I cannot really do any embroidery like I used to do).  We hold each other’s hand and say I love you, watch a show, have our dinner while we watch Corrie Street, and enjoy being together. 

We can be still and meditate and simply find comfort in our quiet little life.  We bless each other at night and wish good health, good night. 

I hope everyone in my life can be as fortunate as me in my loving family, friends, colleagues, medical staff and so much more.  

My cup runneth over. 

 

Harassment in the Work Place - Part 2

Flash forward to 1995.  Believe it or not I did not have another incident of harassment until 1995 and I must be more discreet now as I live in this area where it happened.  The person I worked, after I had been there for 6 months, began making advancing to me by putting his hand on my knee and saying things like “stick with me, I’ll teach you . .  .”  I was uncomfortable, needed the job, not sure if it was harassment or just invasive behaviour.  I would stiffen and he would stop but then he became aggressive in a different way and would throw things at me until one day he actually threw a screwdriver at me from all the way across the room. I had to put up my hand to deflect it from me and of course it stabbed me in my palm.  Two weeks later I had my annual review and he refused to give me a raise after one year.  I was livid and said it was unacceptable.  He would not budge.  I went for my lunch, came back and told him I quit.  He said when?  I said right now and out I walked.  I was beside myself driving home because Prime Minister Martin had said that anyone who quit their job would not get unemployment so I was nervous as all heck but I swore on the way home that if I had to starve in the ditch I would never, ever put up with a year of working in a poisonous environment.  I grew bone in the nose (Danish saying) and a rhinoceros skin.

Lucky for me that the person I met with at the Employment office was shocked beyond belief when I told her what I had gone through and she said “you have been sexually harassed and you should go to the Labour Standards Board.”  I wasn’t going to pursue it but a friend called me that night and told me that the perp (yep, that’s what I’ll call him) was telling everyone he had fired me.  I got mad then and so I did call the Labour Standard Board.  They were extraordinarily supportive, told me I was brave to pursue this and 100% supported me through the process.  The perp got his just desserts, had to pay me a certain amount of money.  After which you would not believe how many women in the town suddenly came to me to tell me they too had been harassed by him.  I wish they had come forward sooner but I think no one knew anything about the case until they heard I had got money out of him.  How that came out I am not sure because I never said anything so I think the folks he employed spilled the beans.  It was all over town in less than a week.

That was the last episode that I had of personal harassment.   But when I started working in downtown Calgary in 2000 I heard a lot of stories from colleagues on their experiences.  The town had changed since I worked for the law firms back in the ‘70’s and early ‘80’s.  A lot of lawyers got into trouble because they were notorious for having Friday afternoon drinking parties and things got out of hand.  I had never attended any of those functions in either of the 2 firms I worked with so I never got accosted by anyone.  I was considered a “staid married woman” even though I wasn’t married there is no doubt that I was staid.  But after some serious suits the law firms were very, very strict.  Not so other professions apparently.  And the ladies’ experiences were not good as the human resources departments were on the side of the company not the employee and most of the ladies had to find work elsewhere as they were blackballed inside the company.  Shameful but true.  Victim shaming?  Troublemaker?  As an assistant one is not valued in the same way as an engineer, project manager, salesman or male professional.  It’s disgusting and still going on today. 

Solutions?  I wish I had an answer except to say that women need to stop being silent, support each other and go to a lawyer if the firm does not pony up when they say “we take harassment and bullying situations very seriously” but don’t. 

Ladies – stand together and let’s get this thing right so our daughters won’t have to suffer through the experiences we’ve had to endure.  And men – start thinking with something above the waist. Hmm?

Harassment in the Work Place - Part One

So Harvey Weinstein has generated a lot of talk in Hollywood and social media.  My friends and are talking about it and the surprising thing in my circle of friends is that every woman I know has in some way or another been harassed wither sexually, emotionally or as a form of bullying (which is also harassment).   Most of the events seem to have happened when we were younger and sometimes we didn’t even know that it was harassment or bullying because back in 1972 it wasn’t a term that was openly spoken of.  So this will be a two part piece as I tell my story.

In 1972 when I was 18 years old I decided to go into the workforce rather than go straight to university.  I was a shy but attractive girl (no bragging meant) and very nervous in my few interviews.  I had been on a few which were always conducted in an office and with people dressed appropriately.  Then one time I got sent to a place where the guy took me into a back warehouse and sat me down on a ratty old sofa while he sat in a chair (thank the Lord he did not sit on the sofa with me).  He glanced at my resume (I had had 2 summer jobs so did have a resume) and asked me a few questions before he suddenly switched the topic to him having a sore neck and back.  He said that he sometimes had the receptionist massage his neck and back and was I embarrassed by nudity?  Wow, was I ever getting uncomfortable but I had no idea how to answer him or how to get out of the building as fast as possible.  All I wanted to do was run as fast as I could out the door.  To this day I cannot recall exactly how it all ended except he must have seen my eyes grow as big as saucers and realized he had crossed a line.  All I knew was that was seriously scared of him.

I never mentioned it to my parents but it sure made me very scared to go out on interviews for quite a few weeks.  Eventually I registered with Drake Personnel who only sent me to office environments that were very high end and it was very soon after that when I landed a job at Canadian Indemnity on Main Street in Winnipeg. It was a great job and I had no issues with them.

When my father got transferred to Kitchener in 1973 I landed a job with Prudential Insurance in Waterloo.  I was bullied in a weird sort of way; essentially I worked with 7 other women aged 25 to 60 (I was 19) and they were catty with everyone.  We were split in 2 coffee/lunch groups but 2 of us would be switched every week to the other group so after the second week I realized that they bitched about each other behind each other’s backs.  I knew I had to keep my mouth shut and not say anything about any of the others.  Nevertheless I felt that they were talking about me when I wasn’t in the room.  It was a poisonous environment and I lasted there about 6 months.  This is where karma comes in.  Shortly before I left, say 4 weeks before, I had to call one of the younger ladies to help me with a gentleman (Vern Hacking) who was transferring his policy from Toronto to Kitchener.  I had never done that procedure so need some help.  The woman made a big fuss (openly so he could see she was annoyed with me).  I was embarrassed and humiliated and looked up at him (he was quite a tall man, over 6 feet) and mouthed “I am so sorry”.  He smiled and made some soothing comment.  All was dealt with and that should have been the end of it.  But as my great good fortune would have it when the agency sent me to an interview, who should be the owner and interview?  You guessed it, Vern.  He was so nice, he remembered me as I remembered him and I was hired almost on the spot.  It was a very luck job for me as I basically learned almost all my office procedures at this workplace.   Billie Farmer was my mentor and I learned the 1Right Accounting system (accounts payable, receivable and payroll for staff, hourly and union, how to take accounts to Bank Reconciliation, doing the bank reconciliation.  Everything accounting).  AS well, Vern and the Italian partner whose name I forget taught me how to polish my reception skills, my executive assistant skills (I was Vern’s personal assistant).  My resume after my year there was impeccable and opened many future doors for me.

All this said, I did happen to have a somewhat slight case of, not exactly harassment, but a semi – suggestive come-on.  I was startled but was able to handle it.

Tomorrow continued.

Public Art

Calgary has had some issues/controversy with their recent purchases of public art.  Here’s what I would like to say not only about municipal public art but also provincial and federal art in general.  I feel that if the government is going to buy art whether for a museum or public art that there should be a few important considerations.  I think ALL public art (i.e. in open spaces) should definitely be by Canadian artists only.  I think if it is a provincial purchase that all efforts should be made to use a provincial artist but absolutely it MUST be a Canadian artist.  We have really great artists in Canada and I think it is disgraceful to buy art from foreign artists when we are using taxpayer dollars.  I would hope that Canadians can agree on this.

When it comes to local / municipal art I also think that if it is public art there should be some sort of consultation with Calgarians / Edmontonians and any other cities and towns that have public art.  I would suggest that there should be an informal or formal poll set up on the city’s website and people could simply vote or comment.   It would be a good sounding board and people would feel that they had some input in the art being chosen.

Art being purchased for museums should have another criteria, because foreign art can be valuable assets and I don’t think they all need necessarily be by Canadians.  But some of the recent federal purchases have been extremely bizarre.  I think one painting was a red stripe on a white canvas and I can’t remember now if it was $2MM or $5MM they paid for it.  It was beyond absurd.  I am not a fan of abstract art but I know that is subjective but honestly some things just aren’t worth that kind of money.  If it was a Jackson Pollack I’d still have a problem with as I don’t like his style at all . . . but that’s me.  I think some public input into art that is going to cost that kind of money would be a good thing.  At least if we can give an opinion, if there were some choices – say 5 different pieces, then tax payers would be satisfied even if their choice doesn’t win. 

At the end of the day there should be transparency and tax payers should have a little input into some of this “frivolous” type of spending.  I don’t mean to disparage art as frivolous but it’s not the same sort of spend as nuclear weapons, airplanes and so forth.  At least its something we can participate in without rocking too many boats.

What do you think?

DWTS Shocker - Sasha gone

I was really surprised by Monday night’s elimination of Sasha.  She is one of the best dancers and I thought she was popular with her show “Pretty Little Liars”.  It just goes to show how the voting can go as Nick Lachey has been in jeopardy the last 2 weeks but was safe this time.  Kind of a surprise that he wasn’t eliminated as he is really not very good (quite stiff) but then Drew Scott started out stiff but he is improving a lot quicker than Nick is.  It’s hard sometimes to see good dancers eliminated too early in the game.  And Frankie being in jeopardy?  Wow.  It’s an exciting season for sure.

I think Jordan Fisher is by far the best dancer but I also think the violinist Lindsey is very much in the running.  Victoria will likely make the finals.  I like Nikki, she is fierce and coming along very well.  There sure a lot in the “middle of the pack” and that’s what makes it so exciting.

Looking forward to seeing Shania Twain as a judge next week.  So far Season 25 is really terrific but mom and I are agreed, we don’t like all the sob stories on the Memorable Year episode, it’s getting old.

Soothing the Soul

Things that make me light hearted include any critter, nature, the right book, a sweet movie, cinnamon buns and a really good apple.  Little kids who can talk and play and just be fun.  My mother when she does something silly.

I think people in general look at the world and their life in a rather grey way.  I hope that “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation” is not true but sometimes I do wonder.  Is it so?  One can understand those who live on the poverty line, those who can barely make ends meet would be stressed to the max but I hope that they can find moments in their day when things are pure gold.  It must be hard to dwell in a pool of negativity all the time.  I am enormously grateful that I was born an optimist and that I don’t have the “depression” gene that so many people seem to have. 

So today I’d just like to say to my readers, take some time to enjoy the sunshine around you.  Even on a grey, bleak day there is a bird in a tree and cat under the tree and action waiting to happen.  There’s always something that can make you smile, if you just look around you.

Happy Looking.

Dancing with the Stars

This season seems to be one of very equal talent so it’s very hard to wait for the weekly eliminations, wondering who is going to go off.  I find Drew Scott very endearing, Victoria Alden is an inspiration, Jordan Fisher is, I think, the one who will win. 

When Mom came to live with me some 5 or 6 years ago now she had never watched DWTS but now it is the highlight of her TV week.  It’s fun for us to talk at commercial break to analyze the dancing to date and of course, to always praise Maks’ and Val’s footwork.  I pointed out their style to Mom the first time she watched and she caught on right away.  So cute.

DWTS is the only “reality” show we watch as it is such a positive show.  There is rarely any nasty comments from the judges and the contestants all say that there is so much camaraderie behind the scenes that you know it is a very supportive environment.  With so much negativity in the world it’s nice to know there are good things also.

Looking forward to Disney Night tomorrow!

Is Art Sacred?

Since the Charlottesville tragedy there has been a lot of talk about Confederate statues apparently strewn willy-nilly all over the South.  As I haven’t visited the South I don’t know about all that but I have to say I can smell bullshit from a mile away.  Here’s what I want to say about that, and I am really very sorry if I am wrong or offending folks but I am saying this from what I have seen and heard over my 64 years of living, never, until Charlottesville have I heard any black celebrity (or non-celebrity – but who hears those folks?) say “I am really intimidated when I walk by a statue of Robert E. Lee.  It makes me think of my ancestors and the slave days.” Or words to that effect.

Now even Whoopi Goldberg, a woman I really respect, says she has felt it.  I say bullshit.  I don’t think anything intimates Whoopi, for one thing, and if she did I’d like to know why she hasn’t spoken out about all those apparently endless statues in the South?

So that is part of what I want to ask / say.  The other part is this, statues that have been carved in stone or cast in iron are, in my opinion, works of art and I have a real problem with art being destroyed.  When I heard about ISIS blowing up ancient sculptures and works of art in the Middle East I was appalled.  I was irritated when folks in Nova Scotia wanted to take down Cornwallis’ statue because he had endorsed the scalping of Indians.  Why are our Aboriginal people suddenly talking about this political correctness now?  Why not create another statue and put it next to Cornwallis and tell the other side of the story?  Why are we whitewashing (sorry for the unintended pun) history?  Doesn’t this all smell a little like Nazi Germany? 

The other day I heard they were removing a Dr. Seuss exhibit that showed a Chinese person as a caricature type which is being denounced as racism.  I’m thinking, it was made in 1937 where lots of different cultures were harpooned by the WASP community.  Leslie Ford, the mystery writer, always referred to her cook as her “coloured cook” or her “coloured maid”; not just a maid.  Agatha Christie stereotyped Jews, Greeks, Swedes, and other cultures in a very WASP kind of way.  Ditto Georgette Heyer and others from that era.  Are we going to start burning or banning their books because they wrote how they saw things in the 1920’s or 30’s?  They don’t show westerns anymore because they kill a lot of Indians.  So we are supposed to forget that we had heinous ideas and practices because we want to sooth peoples’ feelings? 

I don’t get it.  I don’t understand why we have to suddenly ignore history.  I think it is too much political correctness and it is also too much about distracting us from the real issues of today.  Let’s talk about the FACTS, that things haven’t really changed and we have a total nut job in the White House and his cohorts in Congress and the Senate are not a lot better who seem to enjoy fanning flames of dissention.  It’s okay to own submachine guns but God forbid that a woman should have access to birth control or an abortion.  It’s okay to own guns but journalists should keep their mouths shut and just let the nut job tweet any sort of message he likes.  Let’s shutdown a sexual assault victim’s Twitter account because she’s speaking out about the abuse but let’s keep the nut job ranting about the other nut job over in North Korea.

Does any of this stuff make sense to you?  I may be wrong about what those statues represent to some folks but taking out a wrecking ball is not really the answer to what is going on in America, Canada and the rest of the world.  In this age of supposed communication no one seems to know how to talk in a rational, adult sort of way about the Real Stuff, what’s wrong in the world, how can we be civilized with each other?  How can we get to the point where we can Live and Let Live?  Why can’t we be different without offending the bloody crap of the next guy?

Well, this is a long ramble and again, I am sorry if I am offending folks but I am asking more questions than calling it like I see it.  I just want to know – what’s really going on with folks.  Because at the end of the day I believe most people just want to live their lives and be happy.  They don’t want confrontation.  Who needs it?

Funny Nature

When Mom or I walk across the back hallway we find the chickens rushing towards the top end of their yard and they congregate in the corner waiting for us to come out and give them treats.  They are ever hopeful.  When they realize we aren’t going outdoors they slowly go back to pecking for bugs, grass and other appetizing things in nature.

Our other “girls”, the bees hum around the last of the petunias, docile and simply minding their own business.  They are quite different in nature from wasps or even bumble bees and will only sting as a last resort.  So far we haven’t had to deal with that.  They are small and quite pretty.  It’s a pleasure to watch them go from flower to flower searching for pollen or nectar.

After much fighting our little female cat Kitsy seems to have mellowed the boys down somewhat.  They still enjoy snarling at each other but there hasn’t been a cat fight in several months so we are hoping that peace will reign over the winter.  We are not entirely optimistic enough to allow Kitsy free ranging during the night, she resides in the sunroom in her own cozy little apartment bed.

Then we have one of Mom’s favorites, the magpies.  She calls them her Maggie-doodles and she really spoils them.  Frequently if I go to the fridge for a midnight snack I will discover that the food is gone, having been thrown to the magpies.  I resign myself to Mom’s soft devotion to those pesky scavengers but truth be told, I can’t really be too harsh. 

The animal world is full of humour and action and we are lucky enough to have the time to observe and enjoy.  How lucky is that?

Life's Irony

Shortly after writing the original blog posted yesterday I started to feel ill and as most of my readers and friends know I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer on May 16^th.  I ended up in the hospital for a month due to an infections, got home to recover and then went into treatment.  That’s the short version.

What I’d really like to say is that I am enormously grateful for the wisdom of my father to make his immigration destination Canada.  Our health care system may have some flaws but during my ordeal, and ongoing experiences, I can find no fault.  I mean, no fault, seriously.  I want to make a Call Out to all the nurses and support staff in both the hospitals that I was in (Foothills and South Campus, Calgary).  These people are the backbone of the health care system and their incredible caring is beyond anything I imagined possible.

I have been fortunate in the doctors who have diagnosed, prescribed and cared for me.  From the first step when my Nurse Practitioner sent me off for the first ultrasound to my conference call yesterday with the most eminent cancer surgeon in Calgary, possibly in Alberta, the care has been swift and caring. 

When you hear the words “you have cancer” your life changes forever.  Meaghan McCain spoke about a “nuclear explosion” when she heard the words that her father John McCain had brain cancer.  I wouldn’t say that but I felt like a bullet went between my eyes.  It was very nearly a knockout punch – even though I dreaded and feared this is what I would hear.  At the same time, when you tell someone you have cancer they change before your eyes.  The empathy is beyond anything you can imagine.  That word “cancer” is powerful in a way I never realized fully until they were applied to me (and as I am sure they have been to my family members).

Life has its irony – me, who wanted to live to 100, has been dealt something I never saw coming.  But you know what?  I am blessed with a Canadian health care system that takes care of me 100% and I am blessed with a social and family circle who are my rock, support and inspiration.

On “Dancing with the Stars” Victoria Arlen is a true inspiration of mind over matter.  Her incredible story of surviving 10 years of paralysis is so inspiration that when I feel weak I say to myself “think of that girl and her willpower, you can do this”. 

And that’s all I want to write about my illness, tomorrow, something new.

Life's Curves

The following is a blog I wrote in mid-March but never posted.  I will follow-up tomorrow with Life's Irony.

I returned from a 10 day vacation to discover via Facebook that a friend and former classmate of mine had passed away while I was away.  Needless to say it was a considerable shock.  In the few days since the discovery and having attended her Celebration of Life I have been considering what life is all about and what sort of curve balls we have thrown our way.   
One can say all sorts of conventional things like “life is short”, “live in the moment” or “you never know” but the truth is that the shock and concern, like most things, are transitory.  For the most part we can live with those cautions upper most in our mind but the reality of it slowly fades back into mundane day to day activity.  Seldom do people take to heart the lessons “learned”.  They aren’t learned, they are simply thought about in the moment but disappear.  We take life for granted, we take our own life for granted as well as those who mean a lot to us.  We expect they will be with us for much longer than they often are.
Those who know me well know that I dislike answering the telephone unless I know who is calling.  I screen my calls because I get so many robo calls which are a really aggravation to me.  Now I tell those who call me to please speak on the answering machine so that I know who it is and I will snatch up the phone and talk, if I am in the house.  I also make an effort to answer those potential robo calls just on the off chance it is a real human being for the simple reason that I want to ensure my friends that “I am listening”.  The passing of my friend was caused by cancer but for a terrible few moments I feared it might have been something worse.  Yes, I felt guilt in case I hadn’t been listening.