It’s back to work after my last Labour Day Weekend as a
working girl. Going to work today I
recollect many firsts, all those first day of schools, the first days back at
work after vacation, starting new jobs, traveling to new lands but I barely
remember any significant “lasts”. The
only last day that comes to mind is my last day of high school, or rather, my
last week of high school. It was a very
strange time for all of us, with the halls eerily quiet for hours at a stretch
because a terrible event had happened over the weekend and we were all trying
to cope with that. Many of us simply
went through the motions of studying for final exams, even writing the exams
with a certain lethargy or unreality. I
can remember those days as though it happened last week.
What I worry about today is will I be doing a “mental
checkout” at work in these final days?
Will I forget my 40 years of disciplined professionalism and not care
about my work? I tell myself to brace my
attention to perform even higher than usual because it would be a shame to
leave on any sort of sour note, however unintentional it might be. I also coach myself to guard against being
too comfortable on my drive because I sure don’t want to have an accident in
this final month of driving.
It’s typical of me to worry and its classic thought
process for me to take the long view. My
life may be changing but it may take time (perhaps it will be never) for me to
change my style of thinking.
Conscientious is my middle name.
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