Me Time

Once upon a time I had an imagination that never stopped.  Wait a minute, “once upon a time”?  Am I saying that my imagination has stopped?  Have you ever had moments when you question the things you are thinking; I mean the things that seem to be fundamentally you?

I am not sure if it is old age, maturity, too much reading, too much thinking or what is making me question my fundamental self but it’s true, I have begun second guessing myself.  Me, moi, the one who IS.  Gasp!  I thought these queries ended once I stepped over the threshold of . . . 20?  30? 40? Let me guess, 50?  You jest, you quiz me but no, sadly I am not jesting.

I sit across from my 83 year old mother and espouse something, whatever.  I see a quizzical look on her face and I wonder “have I said something stupid?”  No, I couldn’t possible.  Then I wonder “have I said something opposite to what I said yesterday?”  No, I am sure I would remember.  Stop it, don’t be “Still Alice” in your head.  Even before that thought ends I wonder “am I going back on my fundamental self?”  There we go again, doubts, queries, uncertainty, holy cow Identity Crisis.

I ask you, have you ever wondered about yourself?