Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Personal Life Journeys

Do you ever wonder why people seem to get a curve ball in their life just when things seem to be going great for them?  Is it Karma, is it a case of “what goes around comes around?”  Or is that simply the ebb and flow of life, where everyone gets a little bit of good and a little bit of bad along with a whole lot of the mediocre?  I don’t have the answer but I have observed in my own life and in those around me that we seem to get a whole mixed bag of life.
            At the time when you are going over a rough spot, you probably feel as though it is the worst thing possible that could happen to you.  When something nasty happens to me I like to remind myself of something a friend told me a few years back.  She asked me “is it going to make a difference five years down the road?  Did someone die?  If you can answer no to either of those questions, don’t worry so much about it!”  Words to live by.  Otherwise we simply end up putting way too much drama into our lives that doesn’t need to be there.
            I will admit that I am overly sensitive to bad behaviours; I have a really hard accepting it when people act out in wrong ways.  I have that INFJ personality that believes in fairness and justness and when the world doesn’t jive to my music I get a bit perturbed.  At the same time, I do recognize that this is my personality and I will tell myself “this is out of your control, let it go” but telling myself that and actually doing it can be hard.
            In case you are wondering what has gone wrong in my life lately, the answer is nothing.  I am just watching how other people around me are behaving these days due to circumstances that actually was in their control.  Not well.  Blaming others is not the answer people.  Examine your own behaviour and take ownership (sorry to use so many clichés) of your behaviour and your decisions.  Blaming others for what is wrong in your life is really not the answer.  Let’s face it, will you get anything out of that kind of blame?  No, no, no.  All you will get is bitterness and aggravation.   A person is so much better off taking a look at what really went wrong, even if you don’t want to entirely admit it was your fault, you really should look at it from that angle and learn from it.
            I am not perfect, but I do try to learn from mistakes. Even if I don’t necessarily think I made a mistake I will still listen and take a page out of that book.  Maybe I didn’t do wrong, but I can still learn.  And perhaps I did do wrong, then for sure I won’t be doing that act next time.  The best thing I can do for myself and others can do for themselves, is to LISTEN.  I had an experience yesterday where the person I was talking to clearly did not hear a word I said.  The moment it sounded as though I were blaming him for a certain thing, he tuned out and began formulating all the reasons why I was in the wrong.  What can you possible say to a person like that?  Nothing, it’s a waste of breath.  A person like that will shoot himself in the foot time and time again. 
            Seriously people, I am 58 not 12; when I say something believe I am serious and that I am not picking a fight with you, I am telling you how I feel.  Walking away in anger and then sending an erroneous email does not make you right.  It just makes you look stupid.  And I give up!
            Have a nice day!

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