Opening Up

Nine months into my retirement and I find myself as busy as ever but when I settle down to write I wonder “what shall I say”?  I find myself experiencing new things almost every day simply by stepping out into the garden and looking at what is happening on my acres.  I’ve been lying beside the infamous pond (the scene of my recent accident) and have discovered that salamanders can live underwater for days at a time.  As you may recall I had quite the shock last year when I discovered 2 salamanders living in the roots of my peony.  I’ve never been able to putz around that plant since, at least with any sort of confidence that I wouldn’t confront something gruesome in its depths.  I watch the bird feeders regularly and this year we have encouraged mourning doves and yellow finches to frolic along with the usual chickadees, sparrows, nuthatches, orioles and various black birds.  I’ve learned that I need to water, water, water those darn seedlings and then water some more.  I’ve learned that even the toughest plants need to get shade when it’s 30 degrees in the greenhouse.

Nature is grand, it is soothing and it keeps one busy from early in the morning until late in the evening.

What I haven’t learned is how to slow down.  I feel as though I need to keep on doing, doing, doing.  I feel guilty if I am not doing something at some point during the day.  During the weekends, it’s not so much of a problem because IT’S THE WEEKEND.  But Monday through Friday I feel as though it’s important for me to be busy, and of course there is plenty to do.  But I have not mastered the art of taking it easy, slowing down, smelling the roses for more than 5 minutes.

So I sit at my keyboard and I wonder, does anyone want to know this?  Probably not.

What I can say is that one has to learn to Lean In to Retirement, just like any other career. Make it your own, shape it the way you want it to look, be, live, work.  Relish it any which way you can.  And I guess that’s a learning too.