Retirement Slowdown

The month of May was a tremendous spring, warm and sunny after 5 years of non-spring.  One morning in early May I was inspired to clean out the dregs in my infamous pond and shortly afterwards my feet flew out from under me and I went crashing down, throwing arms out to break the fall.  Instead I broke my left wrist and have spent the month of May bemoaning the momentum of my projects as well as enjoyment of spring.

In the time that I have not spent feeling sorry for myself I have thought about how very tough people have it who have no hope of recovering the use of their limbs.  I only am out of commission for 8 weeks and while it is frustrating I ought to be counting my blessings.  At the same time I definitely find myself realizing that my level of patience for myself is next to zero.  I had no idea that I am not given to cutting slack for myself.  I find myself wanting to do the same ordinary things “as usual”.  But I cannot tie my shoes, floss my teeth or tighten up my bed sheets.  How many times do I want to fly off the handle?  A dozen times a day.  I have to apologize to my mother every night for being short with her, simply because I cannot do things for myself and she isn’t doing it fast enough for me. 

Who is this monster?  It’s horrible.

My family and friends tell me this is a sign that I ought to slow down.  That irritates me because I am not going fast enough!  But over the last few weeks, when they say slow down, I breathe deeply and finally it has come to me.  It’s not a question of slowing down, it’s a matter of being humble.  The truth is that I have been too cocky in my retirement without realizing it.  It’s time to re-evaluate my priorities and smell a few roses (or stink weed) in order to get my head on straight.  After all, I am not a spring chicken!