What is Normal Thinking?

Here she goes again! I know you are groaning but today I am actually going to ask a profound question. How do you make people intelligent? Forget DNA and IQs, what I am asking is how do you boost the average person from being average to informed?

Is it a question of education only or does example play a role? Does exposure to experiences need to be added? How do you teach one to analyze what is being taught, shown or experienced? What tools are needed and how do they get them? Mental tools, educational tools, experiential tools where do they come from.

In other words, is it even possible to make an average person MORE?

Now why am I asking this question? It is really very simple, when one feels that she is the lone voice in a wilderness it can be very worrying. One questions her own thoughts, ideas, values and principles only to shake her head and say “no, I am sure I am on the right path so why aren’t others with me?” That leads one to ask the next question “what is normal thinking”? Who sets the benchmark for what is “normal” and “acceptable”? We can pose this question on anything from politics, social issues or science issues (yes, I am thinking about climate change).

Lastly, is it important to have everyone “on side”? To this question I do have an answer; while it is nice to have everyone on board it would be dull if we didn’t have varying opinions on certain topics. However, on certain issues I do think that we humans should be of one mind because it is my unwavering belief that we humans are capable of so much more than what we currently are. In that regard I believe that our parenting and our education system are letting us down. We should not be looking for “achievement” as the goal for our children; rather we should be helping them to build their character, their values, their principles to a level aspired to in the societies and philosophies of yore.

It’s not important to get into Yale, it’s important to understand the true meaning of Life.

Beautiful People

So People magazine came out with their annual “beautiful people” issue and once again I felt I should weigh in with my opinion (despite not having read this particular issue). I am thinking that with the tremendous shift in “hot topics” beauty and glamour should be passé and Character should be front and centre.

My choice is clear – David Attenborough and Greta Thunberg.

Attenborough has been bringing nature to us for countless decades (after all he is 92 years old and as sharp as ever). I recently watched an absolutely horrifying clip from his latest Netflix series that showed walruses literally falling off cliffs and dying on the rocks below which still has been in shock. Our natural world has passed the brink of crisis and if we don’t act NOW to stop climate change we are going to lose a lot more animals and plants to extinction. It will be catastrophic as well as tragic.

Sixteen year old Greta Thunberg has rallied a global demand for political and economic action to fight climate change. She began a solitary school strike outside the Swedish parliament in August of 2018 but soon attracted media attention that has led to 1.4 million students around the globe joining her in the school strikes, demanding that politicians “and adults” do something about the threat to our planet.

In their own very different ways and with decades between them in age these are two world heroes in standing up for this planet we call Earth. I salute you and call you Beautiful People from the inside out.

Pets and Girlfriends

Yesterday I talked about music and how important it is for the soul. Today I am sitting here in the office and Thumper is curled up in the secretary’s chair while Cherie sits in the doorway contemplating my every mood. Over the last week I have had visits and phone calls from girlfriends and I can gratefully say “my cup runneth over”.

My two boys (that would be Thumper and Cherie) sleep with me every night. Before I tell them to go down to my “footsies” they have the privilege of laying up close to my face while I pet the two little peas in the pod and speak inanities to them. They naturally believe the words are pearls of wisdom from their mama and as I stroke about their ears, neck and chin they purr their contentment. While I may be giving them pleasure and happiness my own soul is filled with peace and its own happiness in their companionship.

Then I think about the nice visit I had with one girlfriend and the pleasant conversations I had with a couple of other friends and I smile in even more happiness. A person can be content with their own company and for those who find that impossible I have a great deal of sympathy however I have come to realize with every year that passes that friendships are incredibly important to our well being. Being the oldest of six when I was young I always felt that I could never get enough of solitude since it was such a scarce commodity in our house! Different circumstances and different phases of our lives means alteration in our needs.

Stay tuned to what your soul is thirsting for and find ways to assuage it. A word from the wise (she chuckles).

Snow?

Looks like the prediction for snow all week has come to fruition but I will not let it put a damper on my spirits. As I sit here writing the last sentence I find myself in awe at the power of a positive attitude. I feel strong and happy with a lot of things ruminating in the brain as “projects” to complete in the next few months. When I consider how downtrodden I had been feeling the past two weeks my heart is overwhelmed with compassion for those people who live with constant depression and also those who, while not chronically depressed, have a less than happy outlook on life most of the time. You poor things, I wish I could bottle happiness and you could uncork it, take a whiff and bounce around like the Ever-ready Rabbit!

Yesterday while driving to the garbage dump with my weekly load of garbage they were playing Moni, Moni which has such an amazing beat that I was singing along, bobbing about all the way there. On the homeward drive they played the “here for a good time, not a long time” (I am so terrible at remembering song titles – always have been) which has a nice beat and a philosophy equivalent to carpe diem. I realize what I have been missing for a while and that is the music which I used to play all the time. I had to stop playing it because Mom is not a fan of the new music and now I cannot find my CD player! Sabotage or what?

I never realized how much music can mean in keeping one’s mood in good order so “put the record on” and forget about the snow. J

Sunshine and Happiness

The power of a sunny day is remarkable. One can spring out of bed despite aches and pains, open up windows and doors to let nature in and critters out and take a second cup of coffee out on a cosy deck. Even a grumpy person has to smile once in a while and when is that more likely than on a sunshiny spring day? The sun, as we most likely know, gives us a lot of personal energy with the Vitamin D we absorb through our skin. We may not be aware of how much we literally thirst for it during the winter months but it’s a little bit of heaven to sit on a deck chair, lean back with closed eyes and feel the heat and glow touch one’s face.

As I was soaking up the pleasure of the sun this morning I was inspired to putz around in the greenhouse with my tomato and pepper plants. The other day a girlfriend posted a picture of her plants and sadly my own looked very pathetic in comparison. It was time to give them some Miracle Gro and a little repotting wouldn’t go amiss either. One of my greatest pleasures is to get dirty in the potting shed (also known as the greenhouse) while I imagine the fruits of my labour later in the summer. There is nothing as tasty as a fresh tomato plucked from the vine or a strawberry fresh off the plant.

The green thumb may be a little pale still but I am learning more every year about what works and what doesn’t. Ahh, the joy!

Climbing out of the Abyss

It’s been nearly two weeks since I was capable of writing a blog. I was in a state of mental chaos and not a little depression caused by a lot of pain, grey skies, horrific non-stop winds and a provincial election that had me either pulling out my hair or ranting. Yesterday I went to see my oncologist and despite not feeling terribly encouraged I actually felt better. Go figure. 
I do not think that I have ever been “down” for two whole weeks and before John and I took off for my appointment in Calgary yesterday I had a little chat with him and Mom explaining that a night or two ago I had actually thought about giving up, I was that discouraged by the pain and lack of quality of life. But just saying the words out loud seemed to crystalize a rebellion in me that “no, this is not who I am”. I don’t know if that is what it was but certainly I started feeling better about myself.
So I have been trying to analyze myself and my bounce back which can be very difficult indeed. I wondered “am I a people pleaser after all”? Have I bounced back because I don’t want to let my family and friends down? But no, that would take too much energy and Pollyanna though I may be I am not a bloody saint!
I think the truth is that I like the idea of being a survivor. It has always been my goal that if Armageddon happened I would be a survivor which is why I have always been intrigued by dramas like “Jericho” or “The Stand”. I remember one of my sisters asking me “why would you think you would be a survivor” and I responded “what’s the point, otherwise?”
I don’t like the idea of being a quitter and so I am back in the saddle without any plans of riding into the sunset just yet. Instead I plan on riding into a summer filled with gardening projects and a lot of girlfriend lunches!

Seeing through the Mist

“The most fortunate are those who have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy.” ― Abraham Maslow

 

The above quote was given in one of the recent meditations by Oprah & Deepak. It resonated with me since this is what I was attempting to say about myself in my last blog. The capacity to appreciate is a gift and not something that one somehow develops, at least that is how it seems to me. Although I cannot say that I have ever experienced ecstasy in nature I have very much felt the other 3 sensations of awe, pleasure and wonder and all with the added zest of humour. 
I had a lovely lunch with some ladies that I do not see as often as I would like but this visit brought back to me how very powerful socialization is in order for one to keep their mind in perfect balance. Relating to others in a meaningful way is so rewarding and enriching and a long dismal winter can sometimes deprive us of our social contacts (most especially when we are retired and no longer going to work, seeing folks on the bus or train and then interacting in the workplace). I wonder if others who are retired have experienced this awakening to the value of their social circle? I truly hope that all my friends and readers have absorbed my advice with respect to the 6 pieces of the retirement pie. I didn’t invent this criteria but found it during my early research and have found it very valuable and in fact TRUE WISDOM.
Staying grateful somehow just makes everything more positive and endurable. Having wonderful people around one (physically and through media) is a bonus that never goes stale.

Palliative Care Update

Yesterday I had a marathon session with two palliative care nurses wherein I answered a myriad of questions and had various discussions on topics such as practical goals, real life goals and attitude towards my illness and my life. I was surprised when the one lady asked permission to quote my philosophy when I said that I had thought hard about my prognosis and decided that, while being realistic, I would not live my life with the idea that I couldn’t plant a tree because I wouldn’t be here to see it grow. Who knew I would be so quotable?

At the end of the 90 minute session she summed me up by saying that I had done all of the work, that I had an excellent positive attitude and that I should do well going forward. In other words, I didn’t need her because I had already done all of the hard work myself. Well, I cannot take full credit for any of that because as I have said many times in person and in my writings I feel that I have been blessed with a very positive personality and that has sustained me through all my trials and tribulations. It doesn’t hurt to have a good sense of humour also.

So who knew that I would get a gold star in palliative care?

Oh, and one more bit of good news – she told me that it is very rare for cancer patients to actually have a long, lingering period of suffering at the end. I was so relieved to know this because one of my biggest concerns has been worrying about my mother having to see me suffer because she is not very stalwart in that department (that is, she falls apart). So grateful she won’t have to see any of that (or very little). The other good news is that there is a program in our small town where I will get personal care when the time comes and it shouldn’t cost anything. Another load off my mind.

Of course, my cup runneth over.