Yesterday I had a marathon
session with two palliative care nurses wherein I answered a myriad of
questions and had various discussions on topics such as practical goals, real
life goals and attitude towards my illness and my life. I was surprised when
the one lady asked permission to quote my philosophy when I said that I had
thought hard about my prognosis and decided that, while being realistic, I
would not live my life with the idea that I couldn’t plant a tree because I
wouldn’t be here to see it grow. Who knew I would be so quotable?
At the end of the 90 minute
session she summed me up by saying that I had done all of the work, that I had
an excellent positive attitude and that I should do well going forward. In
other words, I didn’t need her because I had already done all of the hard work
myself. Well, I cannot take full credit for any of that because as I have said
many times in person and in my writings I feel that I have been blessed with a
very positive personality and that has sustained me through all my trials and
tribulations. It doesn’t hurt to have a good sense of humour also.
So who knew that I would get a
gold star in palliative care?
Oh, and one more bit of good news
– she told me that it is very rare for cancer patients to actually have a long,
lingering period of suffering at the end. I was so relieved to know this
because one of my biggest concerns has been worrying about my mother having to
see me suffer because she is not very stalwart in that department (that is, she
falls apart). So grateful she won’t have to see any of that (or very little).
The other good news is that there is a program in our small town where I will
get personal care when the time comes and it shouldn’t cost anything. Another
load off my mind.
Of course, my cup runneth over.
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