Sabbatical - Part One

I am back after a well-earned “sabbatical”.  I was feeling spent and had nothing more to give or observe!  Oh dear, is that even possible for me to admit?

Without having an editor to admonish, advise, encourage or prompt one it is easier for a writer to fall into bad habits. In particular there is a habit of coming across as too know-it-all and from there one can become repetitive in a rather unpleasant sort of way. At least, that is how I was beginning to feel about my various blogs. All this mea culpa excusing is one way of me justifying two months of nothing!

I have, however, been recharging my batteries both physically and mentally and to some extent even spiritually. Since ending my writing in May I have spent almost every day out in my garden attempting to make it ever beautiful. I have written many times before about the therapeutic effects of gardening but I cannot stress it enough that for those who enjoy the outdoors working in the flower or vegetable beds is rewarding in many ways. First of all you have the health of being outdoors in sunshine and fresh air. You have the pleasure of listening to the birds, bees and other critters making their songs and noises. There is the delight in placing the plants in a pattern that pleases you. The sensation of the earth and the plant in your hands as you work with them.

Finally there is the nature silence that can bring one into a meditative state where you simply become one with all that surrounds you.  That sounds a little peculiar, I know, but when I am digging my holes for my plants I often am not even thinking about the plant but simply experiencing the experience.

When it is done for the day there is the final pleasure of sitting on the deck and looking around you and feeling the satisfaction of work well done as well as resting the eyes on beauty.

That is part of what these two months have been about.  More tomorrow.

Going Around and Around

During my first year in retirement my days were filled with building projects.  The daily chores were novel and not at all arduous.  Accidents did not slow me down one bit.  And then I went on vacation.  I returned in a state of “vacation” and have been unsettled ever since.

It’s not that I don’t have plenty of things to do but when I look at the To-Do-List I shudder.  I am reluctant to get started on any of the purging projects and the creative ones seem daunting.  What has gotten into my head?

I decided to take the figurative bull by the horns and tackle that blocking wall.  How?  You may well ask.  First of all I decided I should write down the list that had been piling up in my head.  Then I thought that reading light, current magazines would give me a breakthrough into the minds of women in general.  Please don’t be offended because I soon discovered that these “light” magazines were anything but light.  There is plenty of rich information in these magazines that should be of interest to a wide range of people not least of which is the articles on how to spend for less.

As I sat on the front porch warming myself up and feeling guilty for doing so Mom said “You need to give yourself time to enjoy doing nothing”.  Without me saying a word she knew what I was feeling, that old sense of guilt at not being up and doing something.  I looked at her and then asked her “how did you spend your days when we were little”?

In 1956 she had 3 children in diapers and every morning she had to boil water because they did not have hot running water in their apartment.  The water was then put in a huge tub where she washed diapers which she then hung out to dry.  She had to feed us, dress us and then take us with her when she went out to market to get the day’s groceries because they didn’t have a refrigerated.  Sometimes she baked her own bread but often she bought it at the bakery.  She had to wash the dishes after lunch, put us down for a nap (no easy task as both my sister and I were firecrackers) and then hope to goodness no one came for a visit while we napped.  Somewhere in between these tasks she also had to clean the house and I was amazed to learn that she washed the floor almost every single day.  She said that the floors were old wooden ones and that there was risk of worms if the floor wasn’t absolutely clean.  With three young children playing on the floor she simply had to get down on her hands and knees to do a thorough scrub.  She had to come up with creative recipes for making a meal with ground pork and beef as they usually had that 4 times a week.

Would you believe it, I still managed to ask “but what did you do the rest of the time”?  I was lucky Mom didn’t throw something at my head.

Two Thousand Books

Over the Christmas break I managed to finish reading my 2,000^th book.  It only took me 32 years to read my second 1,000^th.

I cannot imagine my life without the love of reading.  Whether I read for pleasure, knowledge or simply as a soothing retreat from reality I always have a book going by my bedside table.  Books have taken me into the Middle Ages, to the American civil war, to London Tower with Jane Grey, Elizabeth Tudor and the little princes, fighting with the Outlaw of Torn, in the jungle with Tarzan, pioneering with Laura Ingalls, and of course on the journey to Mordor with Frodo and the Fellowship of the Ring.  I’ve read steamy novels such as Peyton Place and Valley of the Dolls and I’ve read paperback westerns like Shane and Hondo; I’ve took to Classics like a duck to water with Jane Eyre, Persuasion, The Woman in White, A Tale of Two Cities.  I’ve read every Jane Austen, George Eliot, Thomas Hardy, Bronte, Dickens, Collins and Gaskell.  Ditto every Christie, Ford and Rinehart.  I still bemoan that Georgette Heyer died without passing on her baton to anyone worthy of her wit (okay Nora Ephron you had your moments).

Ah, now that’s just the fiction.  For years I couldn’t pass up any English or American history volume until at last I had no more shelving for them.  What I don’t know about any civil war general (confederate side) isn’t worth knowing!  I was exposed to the holocaust way too young, not with Anne Frank’s Diary as one might suppose but with Hitler’s Ovens.  I don’t know what my father was thinking when he lent me that book at the age of 16 but I can tell you I lay awake nights terrified of death after reading it.  Recent favorites include Julia Child’s “My Life in France” and “The Art of Being” but early 20^th century American biographies have opened my eyes to an opulence that I see is being outdone by the mega-billionaires of today.

Reading takes me places, lovely, exotic, interesting, horrifying, questioning, wondering.  Oh my but I can go on and on.

Favorite person of all times truly must be Johannes Gutenberg!  Lest we forget. 

Living Life to the Fullest

I managed to snag a new book on the Kennedy family, this one is “Jackie, Ethel, Joan, The Women of Camelot” and of course I dive right into it despite having 2 other books on the go.  I read that Jackie lived every day to the fullest and I pause.  Really?  What does that mean?  Never a dull moment in 66 years of life?  Is that humanly possible?

       I consider my own life which is rather mundane although I often infuse drama into it by simply laughing at the freaks and foibles of the freaks and fellows I encounter on a regular basis.  The thing you need to know about this writer is that I tend to takes things “literally”.  So if someone says “she lived life to the fullest” I immediately envision a woman of action, climbing tall mountains, running marathons, eluding danger everywhere she turns, laughing, dancing, embracing people left and right.  And so on and so on.  Action, everywhere action.  Then I take a breath, sit back and consider the reality of anyone’s life, full tilt or not.

       I don’t know about Jackie or Ethel, but I know about me.  If I am lying on my bed, light turned on over my head and I am curled up with an excellent book, I am living life to the fullest in that moment.  When I feed my cats, watch them chase each other and then come to me with their big Meows, asking to be let out, I am in the moment and life is good.  When I potter around the kitchen baking a cake or cookies I am savouring every moment with pleasure, anticipating the delight of family or friends.  When I write an especially funny blog I chuckle to myself and imagine the guffaws of my readers.  Perfect.  Laying in a hot tub with lavender bath salts, oh yes, I am definitely in the moment.  Every muscles protesting and joints twinging, as I do my sun salutations, I am definitely There.  Dodging the dangers on the road, cussing, muttering, wondering at the stupidity of others, trust me I am All There.

       Life may seem mundane and frequently without joy but every one of us is living our lives to the fullest when we are consciously engaged in our activity.  I don’t think we should feel diminished because someone may not say about us “she lives life to the fullest”.  Trust us, we are.

Simply Living

I’ve been thinking about how quickly life passes by.  To think that more than 40 years has gone by since I became an adult astonishes me.  I consider the quality of those 40 years and find myself shaking my head in disappointment.  Oh to be a shining star with a fiery flame of accomplishment at my tail giving the illusion of a comet.  But then I consider a bit more and realize that this is the stuff of life, working for a living.  What do I mean?

       There is a quiet sort of dignity in working for a living and the vast majority of individuals are The People.  We are the ones who make the buses go, who keep the electricity and heat flowing, who grow the food and raises the cattle and keep civilization on track.  We obey the laws, pay our bills, pay the taxes due and thus support the proper working of the machinery we call Life.  We working people have a fortitude that allows us to get up at impossible times of the day, make a commute under sometimes nearly outrageous conditions, punch the figurative clock and then do our work.  Then we take the long trek home again, be it by sitting in the car in rush hour traffic or being jammed into a bus oftentimes “standing room only”.  Once home we have our household duties to complete, including caring for our offspring.  In these few hours we can bring the quality up a notch, or not.

       So I have been thinking about the way we approach our lives and wonder “are we enjoying every minute of every day, despite the work?”  The likelihood that the pattern of our lives will change is very slim so the key message here is to be certain that you are truly enjoying your life, on a daily basis, despite the hardships. 

Because This Is It.

Stay-cation

Another staycation is happening this week but I hope after today the worst of the work is over and done with.  I’ve finally painted the bathroom and only hope I can walk and use my arm tomorrow!

       My idea this year has been to stay home and enjoy the home that I’ve worked so hard to buy and fix up to a close way of how it should be when I retire.  In a way, I am also practicing what it will be like when I retire, trying to figure out how I should be spending my time other than cutting grass, clipping trees and bushes, cutting grass, weeding the flowers, cutting grass.  You get the picture.  I have a lot of grass.  I contemplate having sheep or goats, just to cut down on the cutting, but that opens up a whole new can of worms.

       But back to the main event, interpreting what retirement might be like.  First and foremost would be contemplating frugality, or the need for conserving savings which can be a death trap to actually doing things.  Once I overcome this fear of elder poverty then I start to think about the things I wish to do.  A little travel is still tempting, with trips overseas in the early years and then to warmer climes as the old bones start to give.  This is the only expensive item on the bucket list.

       Dedicated writing should keep me occupied for part of each day and then the rest of the day would be frolic time.  Frolicking would include visiting or calling friends, gardening, exercise, painting and photography.  My mother is still of the opinion that it is way too early for me to live such a lifestyle but I am getting closer to the point of proving her wrong.

       I have just begun a new Thomas H. Cook “The Quest for Anna Klein” which is narrated by an elderly gentleman.  Some of his observations on life are a little disturbing and make me question the pattern of one’s life.  After all, what is better, to have lived a life of adventure and mistakes, or to have lived sheltered and quiet?  When I look out at my green garden, with the trees gently swaying in the early morning breeze, I think there is nothing better than a tranquil life.  When I even attempt to think about hustle and bustle the picture that comes to mind is crowds, noise, dishevelment and I shudder.  No, I don’t think that I am cut out for high adventure despite youthful fantasies.

       I must be getting old.

Mood Influencing Thought

There is a real challenge in writing a daily blog (evidence being I have missed days over the last couple of months, here and there).  This morning I pulled out a volume from the office book shelf “Ten Eternal Questions” with the hope of finding something to inspire me to write.  Naturally there are observations in there to which I could respond positively or negatively as the mood strikes me, which thought turned me to my idea for the day.

          Do you ever find yourself being contrary about whatever suggestion is brought forth, just because you are in that sort of mood?  Everyone agrees that it is a beautiful day and the sky is extraordinarily blue and you just have to say “it’s much nicer in Ecuador” or some other idiotic comment?  Do you ever find yourself saying something contrary to whatever you normally would agree with, or perhaps you’ve never thought about the topic, render an opinion that hasn’t been thought out and later having to contradict yourself?

          Extreme examples but I was reading Robert Fisk’s comment on whether the planet would be destroyed and I could tell he was looking at the question from a completely different point of view from the others who had commented on the question.  He thought that the demise of the planet is a question used to frighten people.  Perhaps that is so, but that isn’t actually answering the question, is it?  Then I thought, was he in a mood?  I know for a fact that if my sister raises the topic of Aliens it’s a guaranteed flag for me to move to the opposing ground.  Just because.  It’s become something of a game.

          Today it’s grey and rainy and I am in a mood.  Not negative, not down, but just the kind of mood that would probably disagree with Mom making hot chocolate or soup with 2 kinds of “boller” (meatballs and dumplings).  So next time you are having a conversation, observe yourself to see if you are in “a mood” or if you are simply going with the flow.  Ask yourself “is this really what I believe, or am I being contrary, just because”.  It would be interesting to know how many quotes were genuine or a mood answer.

Intense Feelings

Watching this crime show “Prison Break” we wonder aloud if people can really be that mean, cruel and double crossing as the show displays.  At the same time, we wonder how the good guys continue to make the mistake of trusting people.  Don’t they know that it is inevitable that the crooks will always stay crooks and there will never be any loyalty amount thieves (read crooks)?

       So I suppose we answer our own questions!

       On the one hand I do believe that “from people, expect the worst” but at the same time, I truly believe that good will always triumph in the end, even if it means only to the person who does the good.  This is part of my dual nature I suppose.  Usually though, I do find people in real life tend to be decent and honest and inclined to do the right thing.  I suppose I am fortunate to be in a circle that behaves in such a way, whether it is my friends or my colleagues.  In fact, I haven’t crossed paths with many rapscallions in my lifetime and that, as Martha says “is a good thing”.

       I also have  a good though wicked sense of humour.  I told Mom that if it was me in the car with Linc and Michael I would have tossed the father’s body out into the road and continued driving towards the plane.  Mom couldn’t stop laughing.  But it’s quite true, I don’t find a dead body very sacred.  That made her laugh even more.  I’m kind of practical when it comes to life and death.  Once you’re dead, you are dead and the body doesn’t mean anything.  Here are these desperate criminals burying their father with rocks (give me a break, do you know how long it takes to lug all those rocks to cover a body?  A LONG TIME) when time is of the essence.  And don’t they realize that the shot Mexican is going to hand them over the first chance they have?  Good grief . . . Americans and their funerals!

Friday's Random Thoughts

A few things going on in my mind this morning.  What do people think about Prime Minister Harper’s government’s move to legislate Air Canada stewardesses back to work, after first blocking their right to vote by asking Canadian Industrial Relations Board whether their strike could affect Canadians “health and safety”? Are you serious?

What is happening with the Occupy Wallstreet demonstrations in Canada?  Are you aware there is going to be a walk in Calgary on Saturday?  I didn’t think so.  I haven’t heard anything on my radio station about it.

Does it bother you when news is apparently suppressed?  Occasionally you may hear an interesting blip about something and then the story seems to die.  Unless you get on the internet and search you aren’t going to hear any more about it.

Did you know Shania Twain has the most scientifically perfect body? 

The things you discover on MSN’s front page!

So what am I really up to these days?  As part of my fall cleanout I am now cleaning out my body and my brain.  I have started an extreme diet (don’t worry I plan to monitor) and I have started assessing my writing work.  Both are scary.  The pleasures of autumn are now morphing into the work of fall.  See how the poetry turns to prose?  From pretty words it gets blunt.  “Work of fall”, hmmm, nothing very charming about that.  However this is how school worked as well.  We went from the nervous thrill and excitement of starting the fall semester to starting on the grunt work.  Roll up the sleeves and get working on those papers, reading those dry science books and longing for the Christmas break.

Life is a roller coaster ride of fun and scares; work and vacation; a sense of achievement and a bout of despair.  Real people know that it cannot be a constant high to live life to the fullest.  There are battles to be waged, there is routine work that needs to get done.  We get exposed to a lot of glamour in the world via various media outlets but for 99% of the world the best we can do is juggle that work/life balance and eventually make it a 40/60 mix with our life side winning out! 

I’m on it, baby!

Late Bloomers

Continuing my thoughts of yesterday about never giving up your dream I would remind myself and you that there is such a thing as Late Bloomers. Indeed, Brendan Gill has written a book by that title which discusses the lives of some 75 individuals who achieved recognition late in life. Some didn’t even find their passion until middle age, like Julia Child and some switched careers to become famous, like Harry Truman.

Now for most of us switching careers and taking chances isn’t part of our personality because we aren’t gamblers. When I was down on my luck back in the ‘90s I was hanging on by my fingertips in a low paying job and the thought of quitting the only job available to take a chance in sales was too frightening for me to consider. My observation at the time was that the women who were becoming successful in that career were either completely destitute (by this I mean they did not own a their own home) or they had a husband to support them. I had a house with a mortgage and I could not afford to take chances by quitting a regular job on the off chance that I could sell a lot of lipstick. It became a sideline for me and when something is a sideline it rarely takes off because one needs to put a lot of time and effort into a thing. Some people are born sales people and would be successful regardless of what they were selling but I am not one of those people.

Looking back over the last decade I recognize another thing that I am not. I am not a self motivator. By this I mean that sometimes I require an impetus to push me forward into something new. I have spent a good part of these 10 years or more excusing my laziness by saying that “I am so tired when I get home. It’s so dark, blah, blah, blah.” It’s true that I was tired but I also knew that I had to stop giving myself this excuse and get doing something or my life was going to sail away on a grey and murky river of nothing. Despite coaching myself I found it hard to be motivated to do anything. I finally took a leap of faith and signed up for a writing weekend. Now I feel my young ambition coming back to me.

I had been a little discouraged when I read Stephen King’s book “On Writing” where he said something along the lines if one was not writing every day one wasn’t a writer. I didn’t consider my journals writing so I thought “I guess I’m not a writer.” Wrong answer. Final answer? No. I changed my answer to “I am a writer no matter what anyone says.”

Writing is my passion and whether or not it is worthy of praise from others, this is what I need to do for myself.

My name is Sanne and I am a Late Bloomer!

October Arrives

Saturday with sluggish rain announces the arrival of fall’s cool weather. I can feel myself going into nesting mode and saying goodbye to summer fun. I actually love this time of year when other people are becoming even more hectic I go into mellow mode. I enjoy that introspective state when I can once again explore my mind as well as those around me.

Yesterday a friend and I were having a discussion about this very topic. We concluded that many people never take that time to “excavate their authentic selves”, to quote Sarah Ban Breathnach. I’ve done this most of my life and since I started writing my book I am trying to come up with ultimate conclusions (not very successfully). I feel like an archaeologist who has all these rocks piled around her but has yet to find the mother lode of truth. Over here lies a pile of childhood recollections, and under this pile of home life lies my unsuccessful romances. Work experiences are flung amongst my legal adventures but nowhere am I finding that nugget or treasure that is telling me who I am or how I got this personality!

My experience with this digging leads me to the same conclusion that I’ve had many times in the past when I have worked on figuring out things, that I cannot be objective about who I am. You know how you can talk about somebody else and say “they don’t see themselves”? Well, trust me, I do see myself but seeing myself and figuring out why I tick the way I do, that’s a different story.

I’ve mentioned before that when I’ve been in sessions where they ask me to list my long and short term goals I go numb. Same thing here. If I am experiencing this I am sure many others have gone through the same sort of thing.

So here’s an observation, while I am going through all of my work I pick up the latest Oprah who writes in her “What I Know for Sure” column that ultimately she is a teacher. No kidding Sherlock, you think we haven’t noticed how frequently you take your guest’s words and turn it into your soapbox? I love you Oprah, but seriously, this was a revelation to you? And even while I was reading the article I was thinking “how weird and timely, when I am working on something, the universe sends me tools to go on with my work – this must mean I’m supposed to be doing this.” How appropriate that it should be Oprah who has sent me this encouragement.

I’m Living My Best Life!

A Quest

I love a challenge and when I’ve been given a project I jump in with both feet hearing bugles as I go forward. I can also find my own projects because I loathe chaos and have this overwhelming need to find a solution. I’m an expert at solving other people’s problems and am baffled when they don’t take my advice.

You can probably see where this is going, right? It’s Friday, the start of the Starting Over month and last night was a severe disappointment in my Motivational Talk Mode. That’s right, I was still sitting on the coach at 7 p.m. from whence I lay in a hot tub for 20 minutes, got out, put on my robe and then talked to my mother for an hour. Somewhere between 5:20 and 9:00 I was supposed to run on my treadmill but that did not happen. Did it even cross my mind? No. I did accomplish two things, my search for documents for 2 different institutions. Found, put in my carryall and ready to send out this morning. Whoopdee do.

This is where the “quest” comes in. I am in search of the ultimate motivational tool. When I read about Other People who die of heart attacks and other fatal diseases simply because They were not paying attention I can do the great tsk, tsk routine. For some reason I never see the fingers pointing back at me. Alright, that isn’t true, I am not a stupid person and naturally I recognize my shortcomings. I have all the energy in the world in the morning, after all I am A Morning Person in the ultimate sense of the word. By 2 p.m. I am fading in the energy department. I’ve heard that eating an apple at that time is supposed to boost your metabolism back up so why do I not eat an apple? Because I am too lazy to actually chew? I don’t even have the energy to slice an apple?

As a morning person the ideal would be for me to get in my exercise before I head off to work but that means sweating like a stuck pig and it takes several hours to dry my sweat soaked hair. I just don’t want to go to work looking like a dripping red tomato. That doesn’t do anything for my self esteem. I need to find a rocket to get me off that sofa at 6 p.m. Better yet, I need to not sit down in the first place! I need to break myself, break myself of this 25 year old habit of eating dinner in front of the television set watching pap. If anyone out there has the solution, I am all ears. (and eyes). J

From School to Retirement

Right now I am living from event to event, anticipating the pleasures of my travels. Winnipeg, Salmon Arm, San Francisco. It reminds me of high school when we lived from start of school, to Christmas, to Easter and then to summer vacation. Patterns from childhood are hard to break. It’s a concern that I have upon retiring, what will I be anticipating then?

When I had my last talk with the retirement consultant I told him that since I’d determined that I would go within four years he asked how I felt about that. Relief, I said. And liberated. Barring the unforeseen I had made a decision that I was comfortable with and while I am not exactly second guessing myself I am wondering how that new life will evolve. Sure I have hobbies and things I want to do but I can assign my own goal date to them. How do I make it so they aren’t moving targets?

Yes, I am making retirement sound more complex than it should be but I think that it’s important to be prepared for the strangeness of not having to get up in the morning. Some of my classmates are now retired and seem to have figured things out. One said she was living her dream life when she was in Florida, taking dances lessons, sun bathing and socializing with nice people. It sounds lovely and I’m glad to hear that some people have it figured out. Others though are just living day to day without a plan.

And there it is. I need structure. I need a plan. As my family will tell you, there is always a plan even when I go shopping. First here, then there and no deviations. Okay, maybe I am not quite so anal but it’s close. I like things to go a certain way. I like my plans.

Despite my hesitation I am really looking forward to this new phase in my life and I think I do have a plan of sorts set out. The biggest goal in the plan is Be Happy. And that is one goal I never have a problem reaching.

Candy from the M&M Store in NYC

Canmore I'm Here

I’m all checked in to the Falcon Crest Lodge and I’m already sure that I will enjoy this weekend. I have a massive King suite with huge kitchen, sofa,fireplace, balcony with BBQ –it’sso luxurious I feel like I am living the life of the rich and famous. I had to go out to get some groceries and wine since my simple care package wasn’t going to cut it. When I got back there was a beautiful card and vase of tulips from Karen welcoming me to the session. How lovely and perfect. Especially after the miserable morning of howling wind and snow.

By the time I hit Okotoks the roads were dry and by the time I turned out of Bragg Creek onto the highway west to Canmore it was sunny.

Now on the last email from Karen she said we start at 6 so I don’t know if there is an earlier meet and greet. I think I will head down for dinner at the Indonesian restaurant to experience my first Vietnamese food (which is out of my comfort zone). And may I also point out that driving out of the parkade and into territory unknown to get the wine and food is also new to me. I am being brave and I’ve only been here for 30 minutes. What will I be like by the end of the weekend?

Writer`s Workshop

This weekend I will be attending my first writer’s workshop ever. I’m excited but also nervous as I have no idea what will be involved nor do I have the slightest idea for writing anything. I shouldn’t be nervous though as I seem to come up with something on a daily basis even if it is rather dull.

I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was about 13 years old. For many years not only did I write a journal but I scribbled stories like there was no tomorrow. Then life got in the way, responsibilities and disillusionment and the writing dwindled to occasional journal entries and letter writing. Stories disappeared from my life. Then along came my fifties and I seemed to get my mojo back, but only in drips and dabs (evidenced here in the blog no doubt). But the big story has yet to come to me.

Nevertheless I am looking forward to a getaway in the mountains and being around other writers. I am sure it is going to be an interesting experience. I’m collecting my netbook, notebooks, dictionaries and pencils. I’m going to be so prepared that I will go to the top of the class. Oh my but I am an apple polisher!

I’m joking of course. In my mind I’ve collected everything but in this scattered world of mine that’s about the length of it. I haven’t even packed yet. Silvia and I talked about this disorganized method we have fallen in to. Silvia thinks its ADHD but I think it is simply menopause. There is some kind of hormone that has disappeared from us – called Concentration. What I don’t understand is that I can function perfectly well at work, why can’t I at home? Is it because there are so many rooms and so much junk spread about? I honestly believe that paper breeds. John tells me I have to go minimalist but that word scares me. I don’t want to be a barebones kind of girl.

I think a housekeeper may be the solution. But that’s another story.

Jessie Wilcox Smith again

Closet Writer

Psst, wanna hear a secret? I am a closet writer. Wanna hear something exciting? I’ve signed up for my first real writers’ course. I am truly excited about this huge step into a new career.

New career you wonder? Well, not right away of course, but this could be a real step into my retirement. Remember how I said having hobbies was important as part of your retirement planning. Now I must confess that I have wanted to be a writer since I was 13 years old but my parents had a more practical vision for me so for the last ten years or so I have been planning to work on writing after I completed my working career. Taking this step is a first step in that direction.

So what are you doing out there, you fifty somethings? Have you long harboured a secret passion that is just waiting to get out to see the sunshine? If you have, if there is any possibility that you might be able to take a step towards it, I hope you will take the chance. After all, once we are 65 who the heck is going to criticize us for whatever fantastic schemes we will come up with.

Remember to ask yourself, “whose looking?”

And the answer will be “only those who are genuinely interested in your success!”

This is by Elizabeth Shippen Green, friends with Jessie Wilcox Smith

Happy New Year - 2011

Well, this is the day that everyone seems to think we should make New Year’s resolutions. I am not a fan of them for several reasons. I feel that a person ought to act on a thing once it is in her head and not wait until a particular milestone comes along. For instance, if one sees the need to go on a diet, go on a diet, don’t wait for New Years, or Monday, or September 1^st. You get my drift. Do it when you need to. Another reason I don’t like them is that most often there is no follow through, especially if they are grandiose vows. Or there is stress involved if one wants to quit smoking or drinking. What a way to start the new year, cranky as all get out. Lastly, I feel I am so perfect I don’t need to correct anything so what is the point of searching for a list? J

It’s the same with the Bucket List. I discovered this year that if a person wants to do something they should do it when they have their health and the desire to do it. I’ve been struggling with this pinched sciatic nerve since June and let me tell you, it sure isn’t a fun way to live. I realized that in the next seven years a lot of other things could start to happen to my body so if I wanted to see the world I better say yes when the opportunity comes along. That’s why I went on that extravagant trip to NYC and why I said yes to Ecuador. Sure, I had already been to Mexico and to B.C. and I had spent a lot of money on my driveway but I listened to Raymond Burr (another one of my heroes) “if I leave two cents behind, I won’t have lived well”.

My philanthropy is currently taking a selfish turn, one might say, but I look at it differently. If I can experience the world as I have experienced people-dom then I will be rich in memories and rich in ideas. I may be able to write something worth reading. And if not, I will still be rich in experience. Travelling has been one of my little known desires. True, I mostly wanted to see Europe and the U.S.A. but if South America calls, well, why not? A colleague of mine got the opportunity to go to Egypt and I encouraged her to say yes. To go with friends, it’s the best way to see a place.

Now I will also say something about my trip to England. I absolutely adored my trip. I planned it with my travel agent as a literary tour with the specific request that I be able to stay in the various places for more than a day. So I flew in to Manchester and got my feet wet by taking an afternoon trip on the train to the downtown part of Manchester since I was at a hotel near the airport. I hadn’t known that there were lots of authors I could have checked out in Manchester until later but that’s alright. Next day I was on the train to Windermere, Beatrix Potter and William Wordsworth world. Gorgeous. The next day it was raining so I thought I would escape the rain and jaunt up to see Hadrian’s Wall. What an experience. Carlisle, Vindolanda, Hexham/Newcastle. To walk where Romans had been!

After Windermere I went to Haworth for 3 days. I took the long walk to Top Within which is the inspiration for Wuthering Heights. As luck would have it, I spent a solitary half hour there before others joined me. It was me and the sheep. I spent a day in York and I saw the Viking village underground. I realized how much the Vikings impressed this area.

Next I went to Bath. My hotel was fabulous, very high end and I felt very posh staying there but this was also where I felt the loneliness burnout. I did all things Austen but I was really feeling lonely. I cut my stay short by a day and consequently lucked out when I went to Torque. I got to go on a sea ride that took me up the River Dart to Agatha Christie’s summer home Greenway where I celebrated my birthday with an ice cream. Then on to London which is a whole other experience.

I loved my trip but I can promise you I won’t ever travel alone again, that was the only down side of that perfect trip. So when someone asks “do you want to go to Ecuador with me?” I say yes. I’ll go just about anywhere with anyone. That’s my resolution.