A Mary Richards Party

Do you remember Mary’s disastrous dinner parties?  Where the guests don’t show up or the wrong ones show up; the food is a failure and conversation goes nowhere?          I remember talking to my sister over the phone after she had her first dinner party and she said “It was a Mary Richards party” and I knew instantly what she meant. 

There is nothing worse than holding a party and having most of the guests not show up.  This has happened to me several times so this year I decided to make it a Come & Go event so people could show up whenever they liked and leave as they liked.  It really did not work much better as most of the guests still did not show up but the positive thing was that I had scaled down on the food so there were no real leftovers this time.

So how does one become a successful hostess?  A non-Mary Richards?  I decided to troll the internet for advice and the very first item was Miss Abigail’s lifting of advice from a 1930’s book entitled (oddly enough) “How to be a Successful Hostess” written by Charlotte and Thelma Clarke (with names like that this has to be good).

“To be known as a brilliant entertainer is the sincere wish of each hostess. Beyond measure she covets the high opinion of her friends regarding her ability to carry on social activities in a competent and winning manner.”  The book then proceeds to advise on a variety of games to be played.  Games?  Okay,  I will stuff that in the archive of “things to do”.

I then jumped over to WikiHow and got a list of 15 items, all of which are already checked off on my list except the last.  Games.

Redbook and Global News also have tips on parties which include, big surprise, Games.

I am sensing a trend now.  So this is where I have been going wrong?  Shall I mention games will be the theme at my next party?  Risqué games or Xbox games?  If this is the clue that I have been missing there is one thing that I do have.  An ace up my sleeve.  I have a nephew who is THE Gamesmaster of all time.  Lookout everyone, you are about to get outsmarted by A Successful Hostess.

But first I need 364 days to plan the event of all time!

2011 Company Christmas Party!

I broke my rule the other night and went to our company Christmas party.  This year was different because I was going as a group.  Not a couple, but as a group.  Did it make a difference?  Of course, now I was able to mingle with people and have a little chat but I could always excuse myself by saying “I must go find my date” and not be lying!  Then I would wander off and mingle some more, arching my neck here and there, a la Alice Adams.  I amused myself!

 When a company holds a Christmas party which includes spouses there really ought to be something done to make the spouse feel more invited and part of things.  I think the party facilitator that can come up with a great icebreaker where the spouse participates could make a fortune!  I feel so sorry for the spouses being dragged along, pretending to listen to the conversations and not looking like “when can we leave” is written bold on his or her forehead.  Few people have a real talent for chit chat, I noticed that yesterday and for the first time in my 58 years I did not feel like the odd man out!  What an interesting experience for me.  That really was a Aha! moment for me.

The party was nice, my group company was the best but I am not sure it is something that I will feel compelled to do every year; perhaps every 5 years.  I have to admit that I was rather disappointed by the food and the venue.  I had heard so many rave reviews about the food but I was extremely let down.  I have been to other parties with much better food, more of it, more exotic and better tasting.  The lamb was delicious and the crème Brule was good.  The venue was simply dark and boring.  I did not find it at all appealing, an ice block does not make for festiveness and as for the cool art, I didn’t see any! 

 As a fan of Martha Stewart before she even had a fan club I realize that my standards are extremely high in the area of entertaining.  Seriously I don’t think anyone can ever reach the pinnacle of my expectations and so I will never be able to enjoy a large gathering such as a company Christmas party.  I much prefer intimate parties with close friends where we can enjoy a home cooked meal over interesting conversation and later play some amusing games that will encourage laughter.  This morning I have pulled out my “Entertaining” by Martha Stewart and I will be studying it so that I can throw a stunning party of my own.  Now that’s a party I will attend!

Company Christmas Parties

It’s that time of year again when all the ladies in the office get excited about shopping for “the dress” for the company Christmas party. Oh joy, more rivalry, more gossip, more sitting in the corner wishing I were home in bed with a good book.

I’m sorry to sound like an old Grinch but I really loath company Christmas parties. Company Christmas parties are not designed for partner-less colleagues. They are designed for one of two things, for couples to sit around the table with the colleagues they work with year in and year out or they are for those who are grazing for a fling, preferably a one night stand. I’ve been to all kinds of company Christmas parties and never yet have I enjoyed one. My first one was when I was 19. I worked for an insurance company in Winnipeg. I was a telex operator and the youngest person in a company of really old people. Old being 40 at that time. I went with my best friend and we were bored silly. The music was from 1936 and I don’t think even the tango was invented yet. A week later we went to my best friend’s company party. She was a hair dresser and at least the crowd was somewhat younger . The excitement of the evening was who could get drunk faster. It wasn’t me. I was perfectly sober and perfectly bored as necking parties seemed to happen before my very eyes. That was another horrible evening .

Flash forward a few years and I am working in a law firm. Along comes the inevitable company Christmas party. I innocently decide I should go to this event because after all, lawyers are classy, right? Sweet lord, the hairdressers’ party was a debutante ball compared to the lawyers’ behavior. I had no idea people could consume so much liquor. Was that pot I smelled in the corner by the cloak room? Are these guys who are planning to be judges down the road smoking pot? I went home in a hurry and missed the truly scandalous behavior though I heard about it the following Monday. Oh yes, pattycakes going on behind the sofa. Behind the sofa? You may well ask. Suffice to say I didn’t go to any more lawyers’ Christmas parties. My parents wouldn’t let me! (and I was 25 at this point).

Flash forward a few more years and a few more wearisome parties and I am now working for a car dealership. The Macarena is now the hot dance of the season. What season? Company Christmas party season. I’m coerced into going. I take dance lessons. I win the contest. The boss’s wife insists I have to demonstrate my moves for the whole company. Yes, I admit it, I was table dancing. Humiliated? Yes. Drunk? No. Company Christmas parties and bosses wives don’t mix. Trust me on this one.

I had reached my low point.

Tonight is the latest company Christmas party. H’ors d’ouevres will be served hot and cold, bands playing on either end of the lovely hall, champagne flows as does the hot lava chocolate. Where am I? I am in bed with my Kindle. Bliss.