Reflecting on the World Stage

On a personal level 2018 treated me quite well. On the world stage, however, I found myself getting more and more concerned as populism gained footholds in many countries. It became obvious to me that the man in the White House was not normal, not at all. What would that mean globally as his tweets became ever more unreasonable, weird and simply off the wall? Closer to home I noticed that the media was not calling out our so-called conservative candidates on outright, barefaced lies.

The world is going mad and no one seems to be noticing it. I posed a question to John and Mom the other day “Do you think anyone besides ourselves are seeing parallels between the 1920’s and today?” John started pontificating about everything we already had talked about and I tried to stop him “Get back to the actual question, John.” Ultimately he said “no”.

I ask my readers to do a little research on what was happening globally in the 20’s and 30’s of the last century and start comparing the rhetoric to the words of today. It has me very concerned indeed. We can say it many times but our world leaders do not seem to be paying attention; if they are we are not getting the lessons, warnings and solutions that we ought to be receiving from those who govern us. With one notable exception. I listened to Queen Elizabeth’s Christmas message and she did, very diplomatically, point out that we can do better.

Reflecting on the Year

As we get to the end of the year and perhaps contemplating New Year’s Resolutions it also becomes a time when we like to think about the year we have just had. On a personal level it has been a pretty good one for me. It started out quite scary as I landed in the hospital on December 31^st but managed to come home the same day (false alarm). Then a couple of weeks later the neuropathy hit me hard with me losing ability to even hold a pen in my hand. That caused a change in the chemo formula which quickly made things easier for me. I still have tingling in my hands and I seldom can feel my feet (still waddle and have to be very careful when walking) but I can use my hands to write and craft so that brought back my “quality of life”.

I had a very enjoyable summer of gardening, a great 65^th birthday bash and a lovely travel episode down to see my sister and meet my great nephews (little sweethearts, all three of them). All winter I had worked on my genealogy and “met” various cousins (Lisbeth, Thomas og Soren) which was extremely thrilling for me. From a very young age I have always been fascinated with family lore and genealogy so it was very exciting to make these connections.

The fall found me working on my card making and more family connections were happening on a closer level. Since the spring I’ve had movie nights with my brother and sister-in-law at least every 2 weeks which have been extremely fun. My other great nephew has been coming with them on several occasions and of course grandma loves to see the little guy. He is so sweet, talkative and energetic!

It’s been a good year all in all.

Lest We Forget - One Hundred Years of Memory

There have been commercials all week reminding us of this momentous day – one hundred years since the silencing of the guns of the “war to end all wars”. Today we are asked to remember those fallen men and women who have died to . . . ? I find myself stumbling over words such as “to keep us safe”, “to keep democracy alive” and other catchphrases that are supposed to make us feel proud but I resist. I find that I cannot be a hypocrite about how I feel respecting wars.

Do not be vexed with me or misunderstand me. I do respect and grieve for the fallen soldiers and perhaps that is the point; indeed it ought to be the only point of today “Remembrance Day”. I grieve for the parents of the fallen and hope that they can carry on without their child.

At the same time I wish to say that we ought not to glorify war or think that war is the solution to any of our world problems. Indeed think about how many have died in war since Nov 11, 1918; millions upon millions. It disturbs me to see documentaries and movies coming out which, in my perception, glorifies war and makes young people want to sign up to be a hero. I would much rather that they sign up to find a solution for Peace.

So as we remember our fallen let us also spend a little time thinking about the solution to prevent more Fallen.

I close with these words from good old Abe.

“I am loath to close. We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.” Abraham Lincoln, First Inaugural Address (closing paragraph)

http://war-memorial.net/wars_all.asp

Confidence in Thinking

I’ve been writing a lot about thinking in all its diversity and hoping that my readers are building confidence in moving forward in their thinking.

So here’s another thought – how do you see obstacles?  Obstacles are defined by Webster’s Dictionary as something that prevents a forward movement or course of action.  But obstacles can be perceived in two ways - they can both block you and make you a victim or they can be an opportunity and make you a victor.  You have a choice in how you want to view that block of granite.

As I have reflected on my medical situation I took a page out of an experience I had some 15 years ago when a friend decided to make me her victim.  Without going into details let’s just say that from being a friend she turned on me but not out in the open even when I asked her what was going on.  She said “nothing” and yet she was terribly rude, abusive and just plain ugly with me whenever we were around each other which became very awkward in our book club.  She put up obstructions, she ruined the meetings when I was the mediator of the book, and as I said she was just mean and vindictive.  I was truly upset because as an adult I had never before lost a friend and I was at a loss on how to deal with someone who simply wouldn’t own up to the fact that there was a problem.  It was even more ironic because this person was by education a human resource professional and here she was, not dealing with a situation.

And then one day a lightbulb went on for me.  I realized that this woman was making me her victim and right then that stopped.  I thought “I won’t be anyone’s victim” and just saying that made everything clear to me.  The anxiety of losing a friend was over.  It was her loss, not mine.  I had done everything I could to make it right and she had refused.  I turned the situation around and became the victor in the contest. I literally dropped her from my mind, my life and my conscience.  The clue was having the lightbulb go on, paying attention to it and letting go.  I had no bitterness but I also had no regret.

Having confidence in letting go of something, whether it is a situation, an idea or a redundant goal is a huge step in growth.  Sometimes you simply have to let go and trust that you are doing the right thing.  Almost inevitably your instinct is leading you in the right direction.  Have confidence in your logic and your thinking ability.

“The block of granite, which is an obstacle in the pathway of the weak, becomes a stepping-stone in the pathway of the strong.”  Thomas Carlyle.

Second Anniversary - Celebration

The actual day has come and gone but indeed I am celebrating my second anniversary in retirement.  Regrets?  Not at all.  Learnings?  Experiences?  There have been many but the highlight for me has been self realization.  I am more aware of the expectations that I put on myself and in some ways I have to thank those agonizing semi-annual “People at Work” performance assessments for making me so self aware and goal oriented.  At the time all the evaluations did was make me feel as though I could go nowhere and I felt less than inspired while working through them and then sitting through the meeting with my boss.  But now I put those same skills to use as I assess my daily, monthly and annual “performance”.

Why, you may ask?  When I took the retirement seminar one of the statements that the coach made resonated with me in a very meaningful and powerful way.  He said “When you look back on your year you should be able to say ‘what a ride’ instead of ‘time flew by’ and the difference struck me immediately.  As I have said in other blogs my first year did fly by but I could look back and pay myself on the back for literally being able to see what I had done that first year in the way of good building projects.  The first 4 or 5 months of year 2 began with me floundering a little bit until I worked through a few seminars on my own and now I can say that year 2 has also been a great success although the achievements are visible only to myself.  It’s like the difference between building the pyramids and writing the Declaration of Independence.  One is visible to all while the other works into the heart of the people.

Now what shall I do with year 3?  Whatever it may be I am sure I am up to the challenge!

Annual Evaluation - 2014

Another year has gone by and isn’t it a wonderful thing when you can look back on 2014 and say “wow, that was a terrific year”?

I had 9 months of routine, with working in an industry that was going through a crisis.  I worked with my brother on a number of construction projects around the homestead and I prepared for my new farming venture from getting day old chicks and raising them up to be star producers, well ahead of their peers.  I learned a new craft (card making) and started a new health regimen.  I took a chance on myself and went into early retirement and after three months I can say I am quite successful.  No crying over spilled milk for me.

I did not do any travelling this year and yet I feel as though I have had a lot of adventures, perhaps by living through my friends’ experiences.  I’ve done a lot of reading about Poland in anticipation of my trip next summer.  I’ve also done a lot of reading of “old time” books, and pondering the question of old time values, wondering why society has strayed so far from those values.  I’ve spent a lot of time this year just wondering about world events, media coverage, the complete blitz of celebrity love-ins, a lack of society’s moral compass, and what an ordinary person can do to effect change.  I don’t have any answers except one, be the best person you can be, let the rest fall in place.

For the last couple of years I have found myself irritated at the constant stream of awards that the entertainment industry gives itself.  It seems to me that it starts in January and doesn’t stop until Christmas.  There must be a dozen different music awards, then there are the television awards (daytime and night time), then there are the People’s Choice Awards, the Golden Globe, the Oscars, all the Canadian award shows, until I am so fed up I refused to watch any of them even the Oscars.  I think it’s time the industry slows down and takes a look at itself and I think it’s time people start to consider if it’s healthy to hand out awards because a celebrity hiccupped in China. 

And to top off my thought on this year, I say shame on Hollywood for making a movie about assassinating a real person and calling that entertainment.  Not your best moment.

Evaluations of 2012

Now I have done the countdown and the recap, time to evaluate my personal growth.  What, on a blog?  Well, not really, only in the sense that we can all spend some time in personal contemplation and looking at one’s own personal belief in self and who one really is.  What do I mean?  If you are getting up there in years you should have a sense of who you are – or at least who you have been all these decades but sometimes you need to look in the proverbial mirror.

       Interestingly I was rereading a Leslie Ford novel this morning that was all about Hollywood (by way of murder) and one of the characters talked about how dense the jealousy was in the 10 square miles that was Hollywood.  I stopped to reflect on what I have believed of myself for years, namely that I don’t have a jealous bone in my body.  Then I took a quiet double take and asked myself “is that really true”?  So here I am, laying it bare to all and sundry, I think I actually do have a jealous bone in my body.  I thought about it a little bit more, about jealousy in general because I was uncomfortable with the thought of me in particular.  When one is 20 the world lies before you like so much tundra, ready to cross over for miles and miles but approaching 60 that world has shrunk in considerably from the point of view of Possibilities.  So yes, in a sense I can feel a twinge of jealousy when I hear that some young person has pulled up stakes and moved to New Zealand or Sri Lanka or Ecuador.  Perhaps it isn’t quite jealousy but envy mixed with admiration, in any event sometimes it does feel like a negative sensation which is uncomfortable and not like the me that I thought I was.

       That’s just an example of what we believe in ourselves because we have believed it so long – but at some point have we lost touch with ourselves and who we are or who we want to be?  So over the next couple of days I am going to let my mother psychoanalyze me (that in itself should be interesting as this is very much out of her comfort zone) along with my own self contemplation because naturally I think she is interested in her oldest child’s development!  Some questions to be asked:  Am I loyal?  Am I fair?  Am I honest?  Am I open minded?  These are some of the qualities which I have always believed defined me so it will be interesting to figure out if they are still true.

Recapping 2012

Let’s recap the year – because it’s so much fun for me even if my readers don’t care. 

January – Blog reaches 10,000 hits, grand plans to do dedicated articles which lasted less than a month but caused me to reflect a great deal on philosophy, ideas, and moral complexities.

February – My six word memoir “I continue to learn, evolve, share” was born; the first of my girlfriends retired and I’m inspired to live up to my memoir by learning more, evolving more and sharing my life with friends.

March – Another trip to NYC, first Broadway play “Wicked”; NDP leadership race begins and I participate in the process, reviving my dormant interest in politics.

April – Mother moves in and my life turns upside down.  I learn what it’s like to live with someone after a solitary life of 26 years.  It means being waited on hand and foot and recognizing that I can be as selfish as my father.  It also means that I see my mother anew, I see her aging and yet valiantly continuing to do many of the things she has always done.  I see a mother who is ever balanced, unselfish, diplomatic and true. 

May – Annual long weekend in B.C., missing one of the girls but we still drink our way through countless wineries, shop at all the gardening centres and blissfully enjoy the view from Marie’s balcony.  Rose and I commiserate with our dear friend on the homeward trip as she gets unwelcome news about property lines.  This too shall pass, we say.  And it will.

June – Sun deck project begins; thinking about my next ‘round’ birthday; summer holiday with my mom in the sunshine.  Once again I appreciate my mother as we sip our morning coffee on the deck, as we paint our garden furniture, as family stops by to visit with Mom and say “oh hi to you too Sanne”.

July – Learning the 2-step and surviving Stampede, I am reminded that I normally take this week off because the crowds are beyond belief.  This is the 100^th anniversary of the Stampede and the city is bursting at the seams.

August – Dog days of summer, Retirement 301 and losing steam; watching my great nephew Scott frolic in the yard.

September – First trip to Lake Huron with my sister which was a really wonderful experience and made me wonder why I had never gone there before (and my sister lent me one of her cameras which takes really great pictures, she keeps telling me I CAN afford to buy one). I meet my second great nephew Stanley for the first time. I also gamble for the first time, losing $36 and feeling wretched about being sucked in.  But then we walk along Niagara Falls and I enjoy the beauty for the countless time.

October – Celebrate Mom, full steam ahead on Social Club at work, writing a romance novel but quickly get stalled by other activities.

November – Chester is born with the aid of his grandmother (aka Jeanette the Midwife), great nephew number 3; Wine Tasting and nights out with girlfriends.  I enjoyed walking the Calgary streets at night with Christmas lights everywhere.

December – It was a month of social and charitable activities both at work and at home with Adopt-a-Family, Team Building in Banff, Secret Santas, Cookie Exchanges, and socializing with family and friends.  It was also the month where I did some personal evaluation and decided to make some big changes.  Revelations to come in 2013, stay tuned.

2012 Countdown Begins

I’m assembling my thoughts and trying to realize that 2012 has gone by even faster than 2011.  It is very disconcerting to feel that life is pelting by at an increasingly rapid rate with only a big black hole to look forward to.  That does sound grim but whatever may or may not be “on the other side” from this side it just seems to be a big black hole.  When someone dies there is a hole in the family and even if we believe that they are in heaven, in a better place, or resting for the resurrection, on this side of the veil that space is empty.

       Rather than think about the rolling stone into that pit of nothingness, I will direct my thoughts to what to do on the trip we call life.  It seems to me that at this late stage it is more critical than ever to really enjoy every single minute of every single day because we don’t have that much time left.  I think about the nearly 60 years of my life and wonder “where did it go” and “what have I done with my life” and feel an awful sense of fright.  Then I breathe deeply and think sensibly that to simply enjoy life, learn something new as often as possible (because every day is ideal but is it real?) and just be the best person I can possibly be is what should count.  The hole that I leave behind might be very small indeed but it will still be a hole and I at least want people to smile and be happy when they think about me.

       It is trite to say that life goes by too fast but even though we have heard it a hundred times before we hardly ever do much about it.  The truth is that we are often trapped in our life, in that ever turning cog of routine and unfortunately it is not practical to leave that routine.  For those who take the leap of faith and go with their passion I have great admiration even though I may gasp in dismay “how will they survive”?  Amazingly, they do.  We all have a path we tread and however we may walk it, I surely hope that all are enjoying life as much as possible. 

      

10,000 Hits

The blog has achieved over 10,000 hits so this is a day of celebration.  I know there are blogs taht come out of the chute gaining momentum by the day but one must be realistic about

·         How many people one knows

·         How well one writes

·         How widely one advertises

I am really quite pleased with my success.  I have been steady and persevering.

       Today I listened to an interesting talk out of Harvard Business school which discussed “the right mindset for success”.  Essentially it discussed the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset.  A fixed mindset believes essential abilities mean everything whereas those with a growth mindset realize that their abilities are only tools on which to build their success.  Or in other words, abilities are only the starting blocks on which you develop the rest of your success, you are constantly learning throughout your life and career.  It’s very interesting to hear Carol Dweck talk about our abilities and talents as fixed traits and the error of praising those traits instead of praising the effort and work that went into a project (of whatever nature).  The growth mindset creates a love of learning and a resilience in life that the fixed mindset misses.  The fixed mindset assumes the natural talents and ability are enough to get one through life.

       It seems obvious and simple and yet this discussion is relatively new.  People have been used to praising their children’s IQ and natural abilities rather than praising them for the work and effort they put into something.  In the same vein, employers have been used to praising talent instead of performance.  One of the things I found interesting was that a growth mindset actually thrives on chaos and confusion as it encourages the learning process as one struggles through to get results.  If that is the case I think I must have a growth mindset as I seem to live in a constant state of confusion!

       I’m always fascinated by stories on the brain, on how people behave, and how one should grow and do better.  If you have a chance, check out the podcast of Carol Dweck, “The right mindset for success”.