Abortion

Today I saw Dr. David Eisenberg on Amanpour & Co. and he spoke about woman’s right to control her body in the most articulate way I have ever, ever heard. What an impressive and articulate man. The discussion was spurred by the increasing number of states who are passing onerous anti-abortion laws something that completely baffles me. Why are these laws being passed now after nearly 50 years since abortion has been legalized all over the western world? What primitive mentality has crept back into man’s brain so that he desires to go back to the cave where he can clout the woman on the head?

What baffles me even more are the women who are of the same anti Pro-Choice option. I do not understand their desire to push their own personal / Christian views on to another person.

And that last word is the crux of the whole discussion I believe. Women still have to fight to be recognized as a PERSON. We are not appendages of men, we are individuals who ought to have equal rights in every conceivable aspect of rights under the law.

I have never felt anything less than equal to my brothers, father or any other man and that is thanks to my father telling me at the tender age of 7 that I was equal in brains and ability to any boy (and future man). My potential and horizons were limitless and that is how I have always lived my life regardless of whether I actually achieved my ambitions or not. It will be a cold day in hell before any man can tell me no and get away with it. Not now, not ever.

I would like every woman on earth to have the same unshakeable belief in herself. You deserve it.

Weighing in on Stuff

Thinking about yesterday’s blog inspired me to look into analysis but also smart women. Smart women come in all packages (in all fields) and all bring their own style. A few days ago Jamie Lee Curtis was being interviewed by Christiana Amanpour and she gave high kudos to Christiana for her top quality journalism. I must say that I absolutely agreed with her. Other journalist that I admire are Diane Sawyer and Bonnie Erbe.

Women who have brought a lot to the fore include Oprah Winfrey (much was ground breaking on her talk show), Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Rachel Notley, Kamala Harris and many up and coming female world leaders.  Malala Yousafsai is a remarkable young woman giving voice globally to female education.

Where do individuals get their moral compass? It used to be mostly within the family and perhaps a little bit from our schooling. In today’s world it seems a bit sketchier because somehow a lot of common sense has dissipated and I believe that is the result of too much social media. Parents are taking their eyes off the ball (in the case in parenting). Furthermore too much political correctness has led to schools being advised to take a “hands off” approach in mentoring their students (I am not talking about physically but mentally, emotionally and morally). Whether one is Christian, Sikh, Muslin or atheist there are certain moral truths sanctioned by . . . oh, let’s say the UN. It’s not rocket science to give a child some guidance on how to be an upstanding citizen but apparently it can be quite challenging for folks today.

So I take my hat off to corporations such as Gillette who are running ads right now that show men with empathy. Apparently that sent Meghan over the deep end but I think it is a very worthy “public service” announcement. I believe Nike did another one a couple of years ago. Let’s face it a gun-toting, Baptist, Pro Life Republican would “have her head explode” if government spent money on a public service ad that would somehow “preach to the masses”. Hmm, and what is the NRA doing?

Personal Rights

How did I stand up for other rights such as Pro Choice and human rights? I first talked the talked and then I went with the political party that stood for the things I believed in strongly.

Choosing a political party is a huge responsibility and decision. It may seem that I simply followed what my parents voted but that is not at all the case. While my dad certainly advocated for socialism he never pressured me into voting that way. He explained the different platforms and I listened. I felt that the NDP had the values that I believed in. Later when I was able to get confirmation of those platforms through written material it only confirmed what I already knew. This was the party that had my back.

Not only did it have MY back, but it had the back of others and that was important to me. I am one of those rare people who not only care about “what is good for me” but what is good for society and others as a whole group. I find that most people only look at what is good for them and until such time as they need the social safety net they really don’t care about it. I find it rather staggering considering that the majority of Canadians identify with a Christian church (whether they attend it or not) and the Golden Rule says ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ which seems to me to impart a social safety kind of mantra.

I also took my responsibility to the level of actually running in the 1993 Federal election and worked very hard on my campaign, writing new speeches for every appearance, travelling around the biggest riding in Canada on my own and using my personal funds (which was very little at that time actually). I put everything I had into that campaign and it was a proud moment when my parents told me after one speech that the folks behind them said “she is the best one up there, she knows what she is talking about and it’s just too bad she is running in the wrong party”. Sadly he missed the point that if all I was saying resonated with him he should be looking into that party! And yet it was great to know that my speeches had an impact. I was running as a socialist in the biggest riding with a record of being the most conservative population in the country.

If that isn’t advocating for what I believe in I don’t know what is. As my aunt would say “I had bone in my nose”.

Ass Kicking Continued

I didn’t start out as a young woman being a feminist; in some ways I was concerned about being perceived as a bra burning nutbar. I didn’t realize that I had been a feminist from youth since I believed in myself 100% thanks to dad. 

And I believe that when a person believes in one’s self that you are empowered against bullying and denigration. I have only once been cowed into working in a job for a whole year because I was petrified of not finding another job. It was in the mid 90’s when Paul Martin said that anyone quitting their job would not receive unemployment insurance. So I stayed until I finally could not stand it any longer; I quit and shivered all the way home but at the same time vowing that never again “even if I have to starve in a ditch” would I let anyone bully or intimidate me a gain. And I have stuck by that mantra ever since. Sorry for the potty-mouth here but I do not give a flying fuck what anyone else wants of me; I will do my job at the top of my ability but don’t you mess around with me or you will get the horns. I will stand my ground on any matter that affects my job; I haven’t been around in the area of office administration for 20 years (at that time, when I decided to hold my own) without knowing absolutely everything there is to know about an office. Did I learn new things along the way, of course, that is part of keeping up with professionalism, but the basic abilities of an office administrator (secretary, clerk, what have you) were built into me in my third and in many ways my best job. Not only did I learn how to answer a telephone in a much more professional way than prior; I learned how to strengthen my secretarial abilities (and this was from my dad not my boss); I also learned absolutely everything about book keeping right up to bank reconciliation and preparing the T4’s in payroll. The only thing I didn’t learn at this time was costing but that came later. I had (have) 100% confidence that any job in an office setting is not beyond my capability.

Ass kicking is standing up for yourself even if it means defying a boss because you know you are in the right. And amazingly I never got fired for my stance.

Tomorrow I will talk about things outside of work.

Personal Ass Kicking

I ended yesterday’s blog with talking about “our generation” but today I thought I would give myself some credit on what I did in support of all those young women out there.

First of all it is important to me to give credit to my parents, in particular to my father, who raised me up to believe 100% in my value as a human being, not as a woman. He always said I could be anything I wanted to be and he never put me in a box that said “doing women’s work”. He believed in me to become a professional in any category that I wished to go into doctor, lawyer, engineer. My mother led by example with a work ethic by ensuring that I had chores, dish duty, baby sitting and so on. She didn’t expect me to do anything that she couldn’t do herself; she was the one who repaired the closet doors, cut the grass, dug in the trees and ran the household, including the financial end of things. She painted both the inside and outside of the house and after a couple of memorable attempts at wallpapering with Dad decided it was easier to use one of the kids as her helper! Talking with her girlfriends and sisters they all agreed “never wallpaper with a husband, it is a disaster in arguments”.

I took 3 years of working before I decided to go to university. In those years I learned to stand up for myself in a quiet sort of way. When I was unhappy in one of my jobs I quietly looked for another job and politely gave 2 weeks’ notice which seemed the correct thing to do. But the cows who I worked with (7 of them) decided to dump all the crap work on me for those 2 weeks; I called on the first Friday and told the lead woman “I am not coming in again”.  She said “but you gave 2 weeks’ notice” and I said “I am sorry but I am not going to be misused”.  She replied “you are a very unusual girl”. I said “good bye”.

When I left my job at Boss Industries I tried to avoid telling my boss the truth because I felt it was important for him to know that I was leaving because I was not being given a salary commensurate with the volume of work I was doing. He offered me a huge raise but I said “but it’s too late now, we will have bad feelings”. He was a lovely man and said “Susanne, there is something more going on here.” So I told him that I had decided to go to university because I felt I could do better in the long run with more education. So we ended on a friendly and happy note.

When did I start getting tough, you wonder? When I was 27 and left another lovely boss to work for a senior lawyer (in the same firm) because I would get almost $300 more a month by making the jump. He said “you are dumping me like a sack of potatoes” and I said “Jamie, I like you but it’s all about the money. I don’t work for the fun of it!” He was shocked that I would say something like that to anyone but for heaven’s sake, isn’t that why we go to work? The money?

From that time onwards I was very hardnosed when it came to my job. I worked hard but I almost always left after 2 years to get more money across the street. I learned quickly that the best raise was the one you got when you hired on at a new job. Negotiate, negotiate, negotiate. I am proud to say that in three areas of endeavor (law, engineering and oil and gas) I have a reputation as “the best” and have been head-hunted countless times. Calgary downtown is a small community and when you gain a reputation as a professional work horse you are Golden. Added to that are qualities of team player, approachability and never saying no to colleagues. I was an excellent mentor to younger folks coming up and I can proudly say that my work patterns are still used in most of the places I have left.

And how many people can say that?

Living Your Best Life

Here we are again, advocating for one’s best life, and at the same time I am saying goodbye to my dear nephew as he wings it back to Switzerland. I realize that it is one thing to advocate for anyone’s “best life” and another thing to let go of a beloved member of the family so he too can live his best life and at this time in his life it is overseas. Because we love our family and friends it is important not to be selfish and cling to them in a possessive sort of way. It isn’t easy but it is only right.

The other day my sister Jeanette was asking me what era would I most like to have lived in and my first answer was “I never think about that” but when she pushed me I rather surprised her by saying that I would like to be a young woman in this time for the simple reason that I believe women of this era are stronger and more decisive than my own generation. I am strong woman now but when I was going out into the work force at 18 and then at 25 I was a very meek and mild person both at work and at home. Today I find young women brave in travelling the world (I went to a safe place at 18, my home country of Denmark where I was surrounded by family all of the time).

Today’s young woman also has the advantage of all the ground breaking work my generation did for them, little though they realize it. We fought for women’s rights, human rights, civil rights, sexual rights even if we weren’t out in the famous marches. How did we do that? We learned to stand up for ourselves in our jobs, at university and on the street.

So while it would be nice to have an easier ride today I suppose in the long run I am really quite proud to be a Baby Boomer and a Feminist. I think our generation kicked some serious ass.

Finding a New Idol

Last night I watched the first part of the documentary about Queen Elizabeth and I found myself admiring her character. I used to be a royal follower when I was young and had a very good opinion of Queen Elizabeth until the disastrous day when she failed to recognize the People’s Princess. While I understood in some part that the Queen would be more supportive of her son the things one heard about Diana’s treatment at the hands of the royal family was not very good and my respect fell for all of them, including the Queen.

It’s been more than 20 years since Diana’s death so maybe it is time that I let those feelings go.

In listening to the biography I was impressed by her sweet nature as a young person and at the same time her seriousness in becoming the best possible heir to the throne when her father was suddenly thrown onto the throne (pun intended)! I have always understood her absolute determination to not let down the country or her family in abdicating in favour of her son as she enters extreme old age. The shock the family (as well as the country and the world) went through when Edward VIII abdicated was tremendous.

At the age of ten she suddenly had to alter her education and it was interesting to hear how her new mentor gave her 2 key points that she has stuck with through all these years; staying neutral in politics was an absolute must and staying in touch with the people through radio (and later television) for annual messages. She also had the strength of character and enthusiasm to sometimes defy her parents’ protective instincts by going her own way in certain areas, including participating in the war effort by being an ambulance driver (first having to learn to drive at the age of 19) and also in deciding for herself who she would marry. I am certainly not the biggest fan of Prince Phillip but he has proven himself to be a loyal husband and rock for the Queen.

I will enjoy the rest of this documentary series and also enjoy finding a new personality to admire and listen to in the future. (Others who I admire are Oprah Winfrey, Hillary Clinton and Rachel Notley). For some reason the proper word for this following is slipping my mind but I am sure my readers will understand what I mean!

Witches

And so we end the month on the fun note of witches. Fun?  True, for centuries wise women, later known as witches, were persecuted and indeed killed due to their knowledge of herbs and medicines even in countries without Christianity. Once the Christian church got going it became almost a mania In Europe, the panic over witchcraft was supported by the Malleus Maleficarum, published in 1487 by Heinrich Kramer, a German Catholic clergyman. It taught the persecution of witches and was greatly promoted by the new technology of the printing press. It saw 29 printings before 1669, second only to the Bible. The book says that three elements are necessary for witchcraft. These are the evil intentions of the witch, the help of the Devil, and the permission of God.

In the mid 1600’s the wave of witch burnings in England (and Europe) were dying down while the rise in witch hunting escalated dramatically in colonial America. Arthur Miller’s “The Crucible” is a remarkable play on the story and a recent book by Stacy Schiff “the Witches Salem, 1692” is a great documentary on how the whole story rolled out. It appears that the fear of witch craft was rampant from the beginning of the British settlements. Cotton Mather the highly influential pastor of New England wrote about a witch in 1689 and was very involved in the Salem Witch Hunts. Puritanism at its height and a deplorable representation of what religion can do to people’s common sense.

While some men were accused of witch craft it was most often women who were accused and killed. An analysis of the data appears to give strong evidence that often the underlying reasons were not so much out of fear but out of economics! 

“Heather Marsh has tied the persecution of witches to the fight of church and industry to control "the power of life and death" at a time when industry needed more workers. She also argues the persecution of witches was a fight for centralized power over the peasant rebellions and the ownership of knowledge by medicine and science which forbade the earlier teaching or practices by women and indigenous cultures. She writes that the persecution of witches has colored misogyny since the 1400s. Silvia Federici tied the witch hunts to a history of the female body in the transition to capitalism.” (Wikipedia)

The 20^th century has found ways to make witches more charming however. “Bewitched” debuted in 1964 and what little girl didn’t twitch her nose to make magic happen? “Charmed” debuted in 1998 and quickly became popular. “Practical Magic” by Alice Hoffmann was turned into the highly successful film with Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman. And most famous of all J.K. Rowling created the Harry Potter series which started a whole generation of adults as well as children to become in love with magic. There is a dark side to witches but these days the art of Wicca and white magic is what makes witching fun.

I think every little girl in America and Canada has been a witch at least once on Halloween – if they haven’t, how terribly sad!

So I end Women’s Legacy theme with the thought that whoever or whatever women might be one thing we all have somewhere in our souls is a little bit of magic.

“I think the best role models for women are people who are fruitfully and confidently themselves,

who bring light into the world." —Meryl Streep

What Do Women Really Want?

We are almost at the end and it’s time to do some summing up. So what do the majority of women truly want? I think we can agree first and foremost women want to be happy, they want their children to be safe, healthy and happy with opportunity for their future, they want the basic things that make life worth living. These are fundamentals and yet sadly lacking for many women around the world.

In order for things to change and to make these fundamentals more widely achieved it seems natural to assume that empowering more women in the political, business and social arenas would ensure such a result. In the “first world” countries this certainly has happened and not just because women are empowered but because men have also seen that creating equality in ALL spheres makes for a better country.

Women don’t want to castrate men nor do they want to wrest all power out of their hands; they simply want a seat at the table and they want their voices to be heard. They want EQUALITY not domination. They want control over their own destiny and their own bodies. They want to be respected as a human being not an object.

"In the future, there will be no female leaders. There will just be leaders."—Sheryl Sandberg

Women Today, Around the World Part 2

Around the globe today we have women in power, some doing a wonderful job and eithers, not so much.  Angela Merkel of Germany is widely described as the most powerful woman in the world, Chancellor of Germany since 2005 and the de facto leader of the European Union.  Aung San Suu Kyi is the State Counsellor (akin to Prime Minister) of Myanmar (Burma), a Nobel Peace Prize laureate who has fallen in world esteem since the genocide of the Rohinga in that country as well as the persecution of journalists. Her style of leadership has been described as imperious and "distracted and out of touch". A very sad fall from grace. 

Current or past leaders include Helle Thorning-Schmidt  of Denmark, Therese May of the United Kingdom, Christina Fernandez de Kirchner of Argentina, Julia Gillard of Australia, Tarja Halonen of Finland, Dilma Rousseff of Brazil and the list goes on.  The question arises again, why are women able to become leaders in other countries but not in “the greatest country in the world”? I repeat myself with the answer “religion”. Whether Americans want to accept the answer or not is up to them but my personal analysis is simply that Americans are encumbered with the veil of religious patriarchy regardless of whether they are personally religious or not.

Americans cling to their Constitution like an anchor and despite amendments (or because of amendments) the said Constitution is holding them back from evolving into a First World country. They are deluding themselves when they believe they are the greatest country in the world. The best countries in the world do not require guns to protect themselves from their neighbours; that is what a police force is for. The best countries in the world allow their women to govern their own bodies and reproductive agenda. The best countries in the world do not accept capital punishment as the best way to curb crime; in the United States they still have the highest crime rate of any country in the “western world” so the philosophy of capital punishment curbing crime is impossible to believe. The best countries in the world do not accept torture and yet the United States have Guantanamo Bay where washer-boarding is still being conducted as a means of interrogation and torture.

The United States has more churches per capita than any other country in the world and yet they do not evince much evidence of holding to the true principles of Jesus’s Golden Rule “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.

“We must open the doors and see to it that the doors remain open so others may pass through them” Rosemary Brown

Women Today, Around the Globe Part 1

Let’s start with Canada and I encourage you to take a look at the link on Global Gender Gap to get all the data you want.

In 2017 Canadian women rank at 20 out of 115 countries when it comes to political empowerment compared with Norway at 4, Sweden at 8, Germany at 10, Denmark at 16, United Kingdom at 17 and the United States at a distant 96 (shocking, isn’t it?).  Is it any wonder that American women are becoming angrier every day? “Women’s unmet demand for family planning” is nil for Canada, Scandinavia and United Kingdom but at 8 for the USA (and we know this is only getting worse for “the greatest country in the world”). 

When it comes to social development Scandinavia leads the way in almost every facet. Here is one little tidbit which is very telling of the type of mindset Scandinavians have; communities in Sweden MUST clear the sidewalks immediately after any type of storm because the government knows that most women walk at least part way to their work and THEY ARE STRONG VOTERS. It is important for the politicians to keep women happy – and they do! Here in Canada we know that businesses are required to do the clearing of sidewalks and while many in downtown districts do a fairly good job there is a long way to go to give real satisfaction to pedestrians.

On a more serious note European countries are far ahead of both Canada (although I must say I am pleased with our stats) and the United States when it comes to respecting and empowering women. I cannot account for it except for one possibility and that is the fact that Americans, and to a lesser degree Canadians, are still at least nominally religious. Thus when we come to religion we have a real dilemma since those who are avowed “Christians” (I will write from the Christian point of view although much may relate to other religions as well) cannot hear anything beyond the rote of their Bible.

Before we go forward, let us go backwards. Dipping into the Bible we know that in the Gospels Jesus is depicted as a liberal man who treated women with deference and equality. Historically we know that as the Apostles went out to spread the Word into the world they were confronted by the patriarchal Greco-Roman society (as well as having to deal with the Judaic patriarchy within themselves) and therefore much of the doctrine of Christianity, over time, became predominantly patriarchal. As time went on women were thrown under the bus as men pursued their own aggrandizement in the church and out of it. A little taste of power goes a long way so here we are today.

So much for the history lesson on how religion became a male dominated world. Let us zip along to Puritan New England and put some focus on the Founding Fathers. Despite Abigail Adams plea to her husband John to “remember the ladies” as he helped write the American Constitution women were excluded from any rights by reason of their ABSENCE. John didn’t want to fight with “petticoats”. The stage was set for the continuation of female subjugation in the new republic. The misfortune continues as America relies heavily on the religious (and religion) in their political sphere.

[NOTE:  Abigail Adams was a remarkable woman for her time, or any other, and I do recommend reading her biography. I have to like any person who cannot wrap her head around the Trinity. “There is not any reasoning which can convince me, contrary to my senses, that three is one, and one three.”]

"Remember the ladies, and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors. Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the Husbands. Remember all Men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the Ladies we are determined to foment a Rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any Laws in which we have no voice, or Representation." – Abigail Adams 

http://reports.weforum.org/global-gender-gap-report-2017/

https://sweden.se/society/gender-equality-in-sweden/

The Oldest Profession

Prostitution was first given the term “the oldest profession in the world” by Rudyard Kipling in the late 19^th century and certainly it has been around from the beginning of time. In the ancient world it was not considered a demeaning or even wicked way of living but even in many parts of the world considered sacred. It was not outlawed as it later was under Christianity in the Western World. But this is not a history lesson on prostitution but rather an indictment of how women are treated today.

I was probably a little bit peculiar as a teenager because from the time I understood what a prostitute was I thought it was wrong that it was “wrong”. I thought that women should have a right to do what they wanted with their bodies and if it meant selling it that was okay with me. What I thought was wrong was that pimps were benefitting off of these women. With the exposure of Harvey Weinstein the real story has been ripped open since the way women have been treated in Hollywood has been next door to prostitution. Less volatile but no less demeaning is how often women have been harassed in the workplace. Women have for too long been looked upon as sexual objects rather than as equal human beings. But we know this and have always known this and only now we seem to have the momentum to make great changes in that perception. Let us hope so.

Meanwhile I would like to take a few minutes to talk about the men who have for many decades taken the view that women are NOT objects but valuable citizens. I believe one of the first ones to publicly take this position was Phil Donahue way back in the mid 1970’s and I remember thinking what a great guy he was to do it. I don’t think I realized how momentous it was but I do know that I was impressed so perhaps in a way I did recognize it as a huge step. I have worked with a great many colleagues over the years and I would like to give a huge shout out to all my engineering colleagues who very definitely treated their female staff in a respectful and civilized way; much more so than my legal colleagues – MUCH MORE. Sure there was still some misogyny around but for the most part the engineers were “evolved”. They understood that the female staff had strong roles to play and we were given a lot of credit and kudos that I had never experienced in any other work place. I am really grateful and appreciative of that.

And I would also like to give a shout out to our Prime Minister Justin Trudeau because he is another individual who made a great comment after he had appointed his cabinet with many more females on board than ever before. Questioned by the journalists about these appointments he answered “because it’s 2015”. Right on!

We just need a great many more men recognize that in the 21^st century we are stepping into a Brave New World where women are going to make their voices heard in a significant way which will, we hope, bring on a great, better civilization!

“You don't have to be pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked 'female.'" —Erin McKean

An Examined Life - Part 3

Reaching this part of my thought process on why I am writing about women’s legacy I realize that I not only want to express the outrage I feel about what is happening in the world today, to women but I also want to motivate other women to see the injustices we face every day of our lives. I want to MENTOR.

I am not here to create a crowd of activists (although it would be wonderful if that happened) but I do want to make women (and men) aware that there is an imbalance in how women are perceived and treated not just in the workplace but everywhere. For too long we have simply accepted that this “is the way it is” and have sucked it up. Sure, many of us have pushed back when it came to inappropriate touching but at the same time we have allowed men to speak to us in a demeaning sort of way by letting them say “girlie”, “dear”, “love” and other things of that nature. When men became hostile to the women’s movement they didn’t change their style in the work place when it came to language, ignoring raised hands, allowing men to interrupt but not women and yet they went out of their way to be ignorant in ungentlemanly ways such as not holding the door for women, closing elevator doors in women’s faces and other defiant acts by excusing them as being against the trend of women acting like men. Oh yes, what woman hasn’t had that happen to them time and time again. Courtesy is courtesy and has nothing to do with feminism. That’s just men being assholes.

Women are expected to take the higher road but this only causes them to appear weaker and less serious about their goals and right to be at the table. An elevated or forceful voice is hysterical if you are a woman but powerful if you are a man (despite using exactly the same words!) I have never seen a more hysterical performance than that of Brett Kavanagh during his hearing but you didn’t hear that once on the media analysis!

I want to tell women that they should not be fooled by Hollywood and the powerful, respected characters on various shows. That’s Hollywood showing us the good life but it is not real and there is no better proof than the MeToo movement. In addition, as I have written in the past, I was terribly shocked to start seeing the American news reports of all the black men in America who were being shot to death, DAILY, for no apparent reason (this started for me around 2012 with the Trayvon Martin killing). For years I had been led to believe that integration was successful, happy, and DONE by watching American shows that had interracial marriages and friendships; there were many non-white news anchors and television hosts, role models like Oprah Winfrey and Whoopi Goldberg. Since then I have been appalled to learn at how un-integrated the USA is and it is only getting worse.

Women need to be informed in a very meaningful way about important issues of the day. It behooves them to be educated in this way and not to think they can sit at home, live their family life and not be affected by what is happening outside their front door. They are affected every single day and so are their children. You cannot live in a bubble of denial and it is incumbent upon every single woman to take note, educate their children (boys and girls) about what is right in society, what is right as a civilization and how we treat each other (male and female) in an equal, respectful way.

We don’t have to be militant about it nor do we need to hammer anyone on the head even though sometimes that is a really powerful urge (I say with a smile but still mean it) but we can push back and we should.

"Feminism isn't about making women strong. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength." —G.D. Anderson

An Examined Life - Part 2

In this mad, mad, mad world do we ever have time to pause and reflect on what we are doing? For most this seems an impossibility and yet . . . there are ways. Tiny moments in our day to day life can give us the opportunity to bitch and complain or we can be silent and reflect. Moments on our commute to and from work (if you are on a bus, not while driving when one must stay alert), taking a stroll after eating one’s lunch not only gives one exercise and fresh air but time to reflect or when you prepare for bed, take a little time to yourself and just muse on what has happened that day or deeper into what you are doing with your life . . . or whatever strikes your fancy but that is reflective of YOU.

For those who want to dig deeper than those “tiny moments” I do recommend reading some books by women who are successful but who question their success and so analyze their steps up the ladder. Some excellent books include “Lean In” by Sheryl Sandberg, “The Power of Why” by Amanda Lang and “The Power of Focus for Women” by Fran Hewitt and Les Hewitt. And of course “Good & Mad” by Rebecca Traister.  In “the Power of Focus” I found a great deal of common sense and a good sense of humour were key ingredients to living a good life with less stress. In “Lean In” I found that not being shy about speaking up was key to becoming a leader. As well it was key to not be afraid to simply step up and start doing what needed to be done. From taking some personalities tests I also realized that women need to stop being what they call “Believers” and think that they will be recognized by their work. Women MUST speak up and illustrate to their bosses what they have been doing because otherwise it is just assumed things are running smoothly because of THEIR leadership. Women need to be more vocal and less demure.

The question is “do you want to be a leader”? A leader doesn’t have one look so women don’t need to be afraid to take on a more prominent role in their own life. I remember a wonderful line in “The Holiday” when Eli Wallach tells Kate Winslett she needs to be the leading lady in her own life. That really resonated with me.

Arthur: You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.

Iris: You're so right. You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god's sake!

As one matures it is to be hoped that confidence also grows but in reading Sheryl Sandberg’s book (which I read several years ago when it first came out in 2013) I was surprised to find someone so talented and accomplished still has insecurities about her competence and even right to be “at the table”. Coupled with the insights gained from “Good & Mad” I now know that despite what our parents might have told us about being able to do anything we want to do once we get into the work place we discovered it is DOMINATED, and I mean DOMINATED in every possible way by men both visibly and invisibly. Furthermore many women who have reached leadership heights are more focused on fitting in with the male version of leadership and therefore look at other women as rivals rather than colleagues who need to be mentored upwards. It is amazing to realize that women can be their own worst enemies.

Amanda Lang writes in her book about styles of thinking and advises that we not assume that others think the same way we do. We are not encouraged in school to have diverse thinking; instead we are given the one-question, one-answer paradigm. I very clearly recall having a major dispute with my grade 12 English teacher when I said that I had “pity and contempt” for Tess. Mr Scalletta was appalled that I had contempt because in 1971 we were supposed to have washed away those 19^th century Victorian principles. He didn’t allow me to explain the reason for my contempt was not because she became a “fallen woman” but because she was so clueless as not to read the signs of the seducer! That was MY 20^th century knowledge coming into play. I rebutted him in a paper I did comparing Tess to Jane Eyre and got an A. Vindication!

Examine your life and your motives and always ask “why”. Leaders are mentors, thinkers and questioners and there is no reason why you cannot fulfill your true potential. Listen to others and Live Your Best Life.

“In order to properly understand the big picture everyone should fear becoming mentally clouded and obsessed with one small section of truth” Xun Zi

An Examined Life - Part 1

As I reflect on other lives and research this subject of “women’s legacy” I ask myself, and my family asks of me “why are you doing this”?  Good question and I wish I had a good answer other than “it seemed like a timely theme” given this maelstrom we call the world today.

But it has given me pause to question my motives beyond that “good idea at the time” quip. I spent the summer writing humorously about my childhood and teenage years while externally I was become more and more angry with the way things were evolving with that whole Ford/Kavanagh incident. By the time I had completed the September theme of “Infamous Diary” I was at a boiling point at the treatment of women today. If I didn’t write about it I thought I would explode somewhere less appropriate. And as “luck” would have it I was watching other programs and hearing other women expressing a lot of the same emotions I was feeling. And along came Rebecca Traister and her book “Good & Mad” which will make any righteous person good and mad at the treatment of women in America. But we can to some extent say this treatment has and is being done around the world although probably not to the disgusting degree it is in America.  Case in point, Marie Curie was never treated with the respect she deserved in her adopted country of France during her lifetime. Only when she was traveling abroad did France realize she was not showing off any French honours (because she didn’t have any) and they suddenly wanted to give her some award or other. She declined. (Good on her). Now if an amazing woman like Marie Curie could not be honoured by the good old boys . . . who the else stands the heck of a chance?

I wrote earlier about women being between a rock and a hard place when it came to their decision to choose between motherhood and a career however when it comes to achievement then women are really between the devil and the deep blue sea. The devil being “man” and the deep blue sea being the chasm of hollowness in any achievement due to the tepid way it is acknowledged by said devil. Women who continue to go their own way are intrepid warriors who have to work harder than any man to be acknowledged in any way; for her to achieve at the highest level she has earned it ten times over. Saying that, and believing it with all my heart, I feel that men ought to go down on their knees in thankfulness, admiration, humility and also in pleading forgiveness.

Dear Readers – to clarify when I say “man” or “they” I am talking about a collective that has the power to make or break a person. I am not picking on “man” in general or “they” in general although those who I AM picking on are anonymous as well despite their power. Media, journalists, academies, professional clubs and so forth remain almost exclusive when it comes to recognition of one kind or another.

“... now I know how to take a deep breath and keep my hand up. I have learned to sit at the table.” Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In pg 38

The Right Place, the Right Time

Oprah and I have a little disagreement about success. She believes that luck has nothing to do with it but rather that it is all work and determination on the part of the person. I would use the quote from Edison “genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration” thus success is 99% hard work and 1% luck, serendipity or being in the right place at the right time.  I don’t believe that this should take anything away from a person’s achievement but I do believe that luck (or whatever you want to call it) has its place in that success.

Having said that I will also say that often we create our own luck consciously or unconsciously whenever we act in positive ways that may be noticed by others. These actions may someday turn into that “luck” when someone remembers you and offers you the chance of a lifetime. So in a way you have indeed worked for your success but I always believe there is that little light of “something” that brings some people forward while others stay in the shadows. In making this observation I am not thinking about celebrities (in whatever sphere) but every day people.

Rather than taking any credit away from those who are successful I like to think that my observation gives everyone hope for themselves.

“Great discoveries and achievements invariable involved the cooperation of many minds.” Alexander Graham Bell

The Road Less Travelled

In the ordinary course of a woman’s life she will be a daughter, a wife, a mother and an employee. Perhaps she will become a professional of some kind so you can add that role to her list but the fact is that until very recently this latter role was either non-existent or still at the bottom of the list of her “roles”. I was really interested, even fascinated, to read the story of Marie Curie who very determinedly stood out as a scientist first, everything else was secondary. It is the more remarkable because she did this in the 19^th century and it was a very conscious decision. Not only did she ensure that HER findings would be recognized as hers rather than her husband’s but she also worked diligently to have both their papers published as quickly as possible in order to be recognized for their research. Even so they were beaten to the punch a few times. 

After Pierre’s death Marie hired governesses to care for their two daughters while she continued on with her work. It’s interesting to note that her daughter Irene followed her into science while Eve excelled in the humanities. Both daughters made their own mark in their fields, Irene also getting a Nobel Prize while Eve worked tirelessly for UNICEF. Oddly enough her husband got a Nobel Prize for his work but she did not despite working beside him. Meanwhile Irene got her prize along with her husband (not to discount Irene’s work, but rather to highlight that her sister’s work did not gain the same respect as her husband’s).

Irene’s children also excelled in the sciences but did not get a Nobel Prize and her grandson is an astrophysicist. 

A remarkable legacy for a remarkable woman. 

Reportedly Albert Einstein said of her that she was probably the only person who could not be corrupted by fame.

"To all the little girls who are watching, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams." —Hillary Clinton

A Shrew

Continuing with “Good & Mad” I find myself amazed at almost every paragraph!  I now realize why I was alone (or so it seemed to me) in KNOWING that Hillary Clinton out-debated both Obama and Trump.  The reporters were listening to the supposed sound of her voice instead of actually listening to her words!  How silly of me to think that content mattered more than any imagined delivery.  And I do mean imagined.  The poor darling couldn’t win for losing, as they saying goes.

What am I on about?  Rebecca Traister describes how women are perceived when they send out a message in an elevated tone of voice.  This is perceived as hysteria, screeching, caterwauling, or other like-minded hogwash.  Unfortunately the book was published before the infamous Ford / Kavanagh hearing as I would have loved to see her take on that farce.  My own opinion, now that I have read the description of hysteria as illustrated by a dozen political women is this – if ever in the history of media coverage I saw someone in the throes of hysteria it had to be Brett Kavanagh.  The man was beside himself, ranting like a lunatic and going so far as to reach into a 20+ year time that somehow made it possible that Ford’s accusations were related to the Clintons.  Holy cow.  And yet media gave him a PASS.  Even so called left wing media were not all over him for losing his cool from beginning to end.  The way he slapped those papers down was crazy.  If a woman had behaved like that they would have nailed her to the cross.  As it was Dr. Ford was still marginalized by them saying “well, something happened to her but it wasn’t him” even after she said she was 100% sure he was the one.

Excuse me . . . are you catching my tone?  Do I sound hysterical, mad, shrewish, perhaps?  Ah, you cannot really tell from print.  But stop . . . you know this is a female writer so yes . . . I must be frothing at the mouth.  Is it any wonder that women may still want to hide behind initials?

But I digress.

I am still barely half way through this book but as I say, I am really stunned by the incredible bias women are facing with respect to their right to be angry, even furious.  And oh my goodness, for a non-white woman she has 2 strikes against her.  She becomes “the angry black woman”.  Incredible to read about how Michelle Obama was first treated and how she had to “send a message” rather than speak like an ordinary, sane woman.

“When they go low, we go high.”  Michelle Obama

A Meow Instead of a Roar

Doom and gloom is not all this woman sees as she writes about “Women’s Legacy”. Women have found joy in their pursuits and they have learned to excel to remarkable degrees.

I love the story of Beatrix Potter who despite being denied recognition in her botany work she became famous as an artist, author and environmentalist. Her legacy to her chosen area of England has been an incredible boon to the land, sheep and tourism! Children around the world adore her little books, made for their little hands. How creative was Beatrix? WOW

Laura Ingalls Wilder created a series of pioneer stories that has resonated with generations of children (and adults) and inspired a beloved television series that is still rerun today. It’s a memoir that includes nuggets of pioneer life such as making butter and cheese, making straw sunhats an d butchering a pig and using all the parts for something edible.  In “Farmer Boy” Wilder describes her husband’s boyhood on an Eastern farm and how different peddlers came to the home to buy, sell and trade goods.  It is a wonderful rendition of “olden days”.

Edith Holden and her sisters were successful artists and naturalists.  Those who read my blog know how much I love Jessie Wilcox Smith’s art.  Georgia O’Keefe’s bold art was ground breaking as was Frida Kahlo’s.  Coco Chanel, Mary Kay, Elizabeth Arden, Helene Rubinstein and Kate Spade were women who took their own path in fashion and beauty.

My favorite mystery writers are all female, Agatha Christie, Georgette Heyer, Leslie Ford, Mary Roberts Rinehart and Daphne Du Maurier.  Indeed my favorite authors are also predominantly female including Edna Ferber, Jessamyn West, Alice Hoffman, Geraldine Brooks, Kate Gibbons, Jodi Picoult and Katherine Mosby as well as the Brontes and Jane Austen.  No one does horror and suspense like Stephen King but no one does hot button topics like Jodi Picoult.  Her “Nineteen Minutes” was one of the most powerful books I ever read (I’ve read almost all of her books).

Women have made their mark in all the same arenas as men even to the top most levels of power except in the supposedly “greatest country in the world”.  America.

"Women belong in all places where decisions are being made... It shouldn't be that women are the exception." —Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Decisive Action

I have been having discussions with family members and we are all in agreement that civilization at a precarious point in time. I sometimes feel that we are all sitting on a powder keg waiting for it to explode.

Anyone who has watched Middle East politics over the years will pretty much agree that there will never be peace in that region, ever. The mindset of Arabs and Jews is so ingrained in animosity built over centuries and there is no give on either side. There is an American president who fawns over murderous dictators and alienates traditional allies, where can that lead but to disaster? Europe is becoming more populist by the day and anti “otherness” grows by the week. Refugees from other parts of the world are pouring their way into countries which is threatening their economy, culture and stability.

No one seems to have any answers to these various crises. We have UN summits, EU summits, G8 summits, NATO summits and what-have-you summits and what happens? They talk about climate change, trade agreements and money, money, money.  Yep, that helps civilization – hardly. No one can even agree on sanctioning a murderous country like Saudi Arabia because, oh, we need their oil. Do we really? Oh, let’s not forget that the Americans sell some 10 billion dollars’ worth of munitions over there . . . good grief, is that nuts or what? Well, let’s not step on their toes to hard, shall we?

The trouble with politicians is that they are in it for themselves and the money. They have no ethics, no values, no morals, no compassion, and no sense of consequences. For them it is all Instant Gratification – for themselves.

Yes, we are living in a sick, sick world and I am sorry to say that I have absolutely no idea how we poor, tiny little citizens can make BIG CHANGES. Except to say, we need more women in government because at the end of the day (despite any anger issues they may have) they do have cooler heads when it comes to fighting.

"If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman." —Margaret Thatcher