Beautiful People

So People magazine came out with their annual “beautiful people” issue and once again I felt I should weigh in with my opinion (despite not having read this particular issue). I am thinking that with the tremendous shift in “hot topics” beauty and glamour should be passé and Character should be front and centre.

My choice is clear – David Attenborough and Greta Thunberg.

Attenborough has been bringing nature to us for countless decades (after all he is 92 years old and as sharp as ever). I recently watched an absolutely horrifying clip from his latest Netflix series that showed walruses literally falling off cliffs and dying on the rocks below which still has been in shock. Our natural world has passed the brink of crisis and if we don’t act NOW to stop climate change we are going to lose a lot more animals and plants to extinction. It will be catastrophic as well as tragic.

Sixteen year old Greta Thunberg has rallied a global demand for political and economic action to fight climate change. She began a solitary school strike outside the Swedish parliament in August of 2018 but soon attracted media attention that has led to 1.4 million students around the globe joining her in the school strikes, demanding that politicians “and adults” do something about the threat to our planet.

In their own very different ways and with decades between them in age these are two world heroes in standing up for this planet we call Earth. I salute you and call you Beautiful People from the inside out.

Excelsior

My middle brother Peter is having his birthday today so I am dedicating today’s blog to him.

Both Peter and Erik were superhero comic book fans and most of their favorites were created by Stan Lee who passed away a couple of days ago at the age of 95. As I recall it they first got hold of “Thor” and “Fantastic Four” in 1967 when we had moved to Winnipeg. When we were living in Burlington we had very few comics but there may have been a few Superman comics in between the Danish Donald Duck (Anders And) comics and my Archie and Millie the Model comics. Then Peter came home one day with “Spiderman” and that was it, my brothers were totally hooked on Stan Lee’s creations.

I will admit that I did read a few of the early Thor, Fantastic Four and Spiderman comics even though I was 14 and “really, above it all”. In fact I really enjoyed the Fantastic Four because I liked the Invisible Woman, Sue Storm-Richards and the inter-relationship story. Peter and Erik read those comics for years (and I suspect they still read them). Certainly they seem to know everything about the characters and can critique storylines and what the different characters have done. They also read X-Men, Iron Man and several other comics which I never looked at. In fact recently I was amazed to learn that they had indeed been reading X-Men from the very beginning!

Of course I had heard of Stan Lee over the years but never made it my business to know anything about him so Peter enlightened me the other day about his various achievements. One thing he didn’t talk about but which I think is the greatest achievement of all; he stayed married to the same woman for 69 years, until her death last year. That is pretty amazing for anyone, much less a celebrity.

For today’s birthday boy I would like to salute him for HIS personal achievements which shall not be mentioned here but we will toast him on his next visit! He and his wife Ronda have been one of  my greatest supporters through my illness and our movie nights are always filled with fun and laughter! Let’s hope the weather is kind enough to let us have many more over these winter months. And I’m thinking a superhero movie should be on the menu.

Excelsior!

Oprah's Brand Power

If you’ve been watching television at all this week you will have heard how Oprah, with one tweet, boosted the value of Weight Watchers by $150MM.  One has to be impressed with the economic clout of a woman like that.  Oprah may not be on conventional television anymore but her influence on people is still huge.

Reasons why she is influential include her enormous appeal as a down to earth, approachable person.  She won audiences over in her early days on her talk show by being open and honest about her own weaknesses.  She was always empathetic towards her guests and she really built on that connection.  As time went on she shifted the purpose of her show from being sensational and exploitive to being more informative and nurturing which exploded her popularity for a second time.  She went on to assist others with a career on television, Dr. Phil, Rachel Ray, Nate Berkus and Dr. Oz to name a few.  Along with that she recognized herself as a “brand” and started her O magazine empire, a radio network and then the OWN network.  This woman has huge media clout.

She has her Angel Network for charity work, her school for girls in South Africa, she has an Oprah Book Club (her endorsement makes the book a guaranteed best seller), she works with Deepak Chopra on Meditation, she publishes books taken from her articles in her O magazine, and on and on.  She is a power house of energy, ideas, and enthusiasms and through it all she makes a tremendous connection with people, particularly women.

Little wonder that any company would jump at the chance to have her on board as a spokesperson as well as assuming a seat on the board of directors.  We may have a gender gap but we also have some women who truly have risen to the top of the heap in the corporate world.  I am suitably impressed.

Oprah's Coming to Town

I happened to catch the news announcement this morning that Oprah will be coming to Calgary in January which I find very exciting even though the chances of me getting a ticket will be slim.  I checked it out on a website and there were a lot of comments, many of them talking about the cost of the ticket (which hasn’t been announced yet) and people bashing Oprah because of the cost and thinking she ought to donate the space in the Saddledome to homeless people.  Just how that makes any sense is something I don’t want to bother about.

       There is no question that Oprah has been one of the most influential women in America.  I have long respected her for her stepping away from the sensational and making her show more about empowerment and positiveness.  Is she flawed?  Of course, who isn’t?  But that doesn’t erase the wonderful things she has done to improve people’s hope and life.  Some of my favorite things about Oprah are her love of books and how she has encouraged many people to take up reading.  From this she has also helped countless authors with the sale of their books.  I also like her “Live Your Best Life” series, in her magazine, her show and her workshops.  She has brought so many life coaches to the forefront with this series who have helped countless people for almost three decades now.  I really like the way she believes in inspiring people to do their best and although I must admit that I’m a bit dubious about her school in South Africa when there are plenty of children in America who could use help; it’s still an admirable cause.  Sometimes people’s hearts take them to a different place.

       Oprah is so beloved by so many because she appears like a girlfriend.  She’s honest and open and “in the moment” when on stage.  It would be exciting to hear her live.

More About Privacy

Continued thoughts on yesterday’s blog regarding privacy.  Does celebrity status mean privacy expectations are no longer justified?  Does using social media to express yourself mean you have no privacy in off hours?  Does walking out your front door mean that anyone can now own you?

       Our world is increasingly technology based and every hour of every day we are inundated with the latest invention in cell phones, social media, camera and computer technology and I don’t know what else.  It is a certainty that there is abuse of by all sorts of individuals but at the same time there are a large number of people who use these tools to express their creativity and entrepreneurship in legitimate, meaningful ways, if only to themselves.  For instance the writers of this blog is enchanted to be able to compose work that might be appreciated by an audience they might never have had if it wasn’t for the blogspot opportunity.  People share funny video clips on U-Tube, thoughtful (or maybe not) discussions arise via gamers and sites with conspiracy theories.  There are sites where people connect for romance or friendship.  There is Skype that takes people “live” to their family and friends in far off places.

       Utilizing these tools should not preclude privacy laws or rights.  What is being shared is done in honest and sincerity but what happens behind these four walls is my business.  What happens in my back yard is my business.

       If a person is in a live conversation with someone they may have a slip of the tongues, they may say something they don’t mean in quite the way it came out and they are able to take back the words.  In social media it is not that simple, people seem to take offence much faster by the written word, and yet, given that this is something a vast majority utilize – one should be given the same kind of excuse and courtesy as thought it were a true verbal slip of the tongue.  Not everyone can be careful all of the time.

What's Privacy Today?

The world went into a frenzy of gossip this past weekend when pictures of the Duchess of Cambridge appeared in a French newspaper showing her sunbathing topless in a private family retreat.  Apparently not so private after all as some low life photographer managed to get pictures and send them off to some rag mag.  This just after the scandalous romping pictures of Prince Harry the week before.

       So a couple of questions come to mind.  The first and more obvious one is how much privacy should anyone expect in this age of social media?  Secondly why is the public so interested in reading scandal?  Third, if a person has any sense of knowing what the world is today (having addressed the first two questions) why wouldn’t a celebrity be more circumspect?  Is there no dignity left in this world?

       If you don’t want to see nude photos of Kate then don’t buy the magazines that publish the papers or switch the channel when it comes up.  If you don’t want to see yourself in a poor light, know who you surround yourself with and banish all cellphones and cameras from you private space.  If you are in the presence of a royal should you be allowed to bring a cellphone into the room?  How rude is that?  Where is the security people and why aren’t they frisky the guests?  Better yet, don’t go topless in the first place.

       Know you are living in a world of whores and protect yourself by dignity.

Goodbye to Nora Ephron

Nora Ephron was a wonderful romantic comedy writer and one of my all time favorites is “You’ve Got Mail”.  I think Nora put all her favorite quotes and thoughts into Kathleen Kelly and she is one of the most delightful characters in romantic comedy history.  Nora also did a brilliant job in screenwriting “Julie & Julia” and Meryl Streep’s rendition of Julia Child is nothing short of amazing.  How many people have gone to the Empire State Building hoping to see a romantic pairing such as happened in “Sleepless in Seattle”?

       I envy Nora her razor sharp wit and undeniable writing ability.  It’s a sad loss her passing away yesterday.   Leafing through her last book “I Remember Nothing” makes me laugh as much as the first reading.  Here’s looking at you, kid.

Dorothy Parker's Wit

“I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I bet I’d be darling at it.”

Don’t you love this kind of sparkling wit?  Dorothy Parker was a very interesting character whose wit lives on in our day to day lingo.  She was a poet, author, screenwriter, and critic but despite a very successful career she was a very troubled woman who turned to alcohol and attempted suicide on several occasions.  She also had the dubious honour of making it on to communist blacklist in the 50’s.

            “You can never be too rich or too thin.”  Yes, Dorothy is the culprit who brought us that one.  For all the women in the world who struggle on diets, here’s where you can point your finger!  Dieting is the bane of woman’s existence, challenging us to daily acts of will power that ought to win us a collective Nobel Peace Prize.  With all the willpower that goes into dieting, if we could harness that energy into peace think of what women could accomplish.  The discouragement we face when the dial on the scale doesn’t move, or worse, creeps up even as you have starved yourself and the brave woman grits her teeth dismounts from the scale and says “if I could only have a poo I know I would go down.”

            “Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses”.  Remember the myopic Marilyn Monroe in “How to Catch a Millionaire” quoting this little number?  Yes, Dorothy again.  Once again think of the anxiety of women who refused to wear glasses and thus did miss out on the passes thrown her way.  We have to be glad that the marketing whores on Rodeo Drive have taken to designing "eyeware" along with every other item lbranded with names Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, Donna Karan and other fashion design icons.   

“I don’t care what is written about me as long as it isn’t true.”  Now this is brilliant because who can really say they don’t care?  But think about it, as my old boss used to say, and I paraphrase, “if you aren’t stepping on toes, you aren’t doing much”.  I certain type of person can become very jealous of one who works hard even without much financial success.  I’ve noticed that not just with myself but with other people also.  It’s sad because it must be really draining for that person. 

In her will Dorothy decreed her epitaph. 

Excuse my dust.

Adios Oprah

As all the world knows Oprah ended her 25 year run on television on May 26^th with all the fanfare of a well beloved star. If she doesn’t know by now that she is loved across the United States there is something seriously wrong with her.

Oprah is one of the celebrities I admire the most because of the work she has done. She has tried to effect positive change in the world and I think she has become an excellent role model for many women. I don’t know how many books she has landed on the best seller list simply by mentioning it on her show or in her magazine. More than 10 years ago she shifted her show around to be more about enhancing lives rather than exploiting sensational stories, Let’s not forget the careers she has enhanced or developed, like Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Nate, Rachel Ray, Gayle King, Suzy Ormon, Bob Greene, Does anyone remember Rosie, her personal cook who wrote a recipe book? She then disappeared off the face of the earth – I never heard what happened to her.

Did Oprah ever disappoint? There were a few disappointments for me. I didn’t like her position in the last election, it was obviously race oriented. I questioned her need for a magazine when she already was loaded with millions. Frequently her interviews have a lot of “I” in them. I wonder why she has to make a school for underprivileged girls in South Africa when there is a need in her own back yard.

So she’s not perfect which is probably a good thing. It would be too sickening if she was! Her energy level must be fantastic for her to achieve so much in 25 years. Think of all the audience gifts, not to mention her Giveaway Specials. Her face is so friendly and warm. Her last interview with Barbara Walters was particularly interesting and just made her like her more. She said that while she has met many wonderful celebrities it’s the regular people who have impressed her the most. Mattie Stepanek is also featured in her “what I know for sure” section in her latest magazine. I practically bawled when I read his letter to her. She’s so right. The ordinary people are the ones that affect us the most.

Oprah you are a true inspiration to many people around the globe. I admire and respect you more than I can say. Keep on doing what you are doing to inspire our best life and forget about the nay-sayers. It’s hard to stay humble with so much adulation (and money) but that is probably something you will have to learn along your way. As we all do. J

Catherine and William, Married at Last

Even though I have not been following all of the hoopla about the Royal Wedding I was up at my regular time of 4 a.m. and managed to see the “show” right from Kate walking down the aisle and even as I write they are saying the prayers over the couple. Neither stumbled over their vows (I still remember how Diane mangled Charles’ name) and I liked the Address which was warm and personal. I’m wondering when the Queen will crack a smile, she always looks so grim in public.

I thought Kate looked rather haggard and they say she has lost a lot of weight leading up to the wedding. And William looked as though he had put some on. But you could see them glancing at each other and smiling at each other which seems to show that they are happy. They looked a bit nervous I thought and yet comfortable with each other. Kate’s family looks very attractive.

There were an awful lot of hats in that room. I was tempted to go put on my NYC hat with feathers (Jane, do you still have yours?) They are just going in to sign the register now and the announcer is saying “there were lovely little moments” which escaped my attention I suppose. It was nice but I didn’t see any personal moments at all. No one looked or winked or smiled or anything. Kate patted her father, was that a moment? Media try to make something of nothings. It was nice but nothing to make all this hoopla about.

I’m afraid I am rather disillusioned by the royals. The horrid farce of Diane’s marriage to Charles put the knock on that for me (and others I’m sure). Past behaviours are not forgotten by this elephant. I have high standards and expectations of those I wish to put on a pedestal and I’m afraid there are very few left standing. I’d have to say my mother is one of them.

And now I am going to bed to read. Or will I watch them march back down the aisle. To bed, as I’m sure I will see the reruns all day long!

But I do wish them all the happiness in the world, and hope that they can make a success of their marriage. It will certainly be good for them and for their family! All the best Duke & Duchess of Cambridge.

Goodbye Elizabeth

When I was barely 9 years old I read the headline “Most Beautiful Woman in the World is Dead” and it went on to say Marilyn Monroe had died. So I asked my father “Now who’s the most beautiful woman in the world?” His answer was “Elizabeth Taylor”. That was 1962.

Throughout my childhood, teen years and young adulthood I saw Elizabeth Taylor on the newsstands almost weekly. Before tabloids there were the movie magazines like “Photoplay”, “Screenland”, “Movieland” and “Screen Play” whose stories were usually quite wholesome family fare. I wasn’t old enough to have seen “National Velvet” or “Lassie” but I certainly saw stories about them in the magazines. Then in 1964 there was the big explosion of Liz’s romance with her Cleopatra costar Richard Burton. They were so incredibly in love there was no concealing it and since Liz had already been declared a homewrecker for running off with her best friend’s husband this news was all over the papers, even regular papers. I hadn’t known much about the Eddie Fisher story at this point but I don’t think anyone over 10 didn’t know about Richard Burton! For 10 years we read about this famous couple and their glamorous lifestyle. Who can forget the famous Hope Diamond? How romantic to be given the biggest diamond in the world! We brought magazines to school and talked about them like we knew them personally.

I always thought Elizabeth Taylor was the most glamorous woman in Hollywood. She was stunningly beautiful and even when she started having horrible weight problems and “bad hair days” her eyes were just so incredible you hardly noticed the rest of her. No one, before or since, has had such perfect eyes. And her face, a perfect oval and all her features in perfect proportion. When she finally started giving really in depth interviews I discovered what a remarkably intelligent and witty woman she was. There was more to her than a pretty face.

But forget her beauty and her marriages and her career. Elizabeth Taylor was an incredible force when she began her philanthropic career, working endlessly for her cause, Aids Awareness. I think this cause was really the making of her as a human being and only imagine if she had used her power earlier in her life, what she couldn’t have accomplished. I have always believed that she was mercilessly exploited in her youth which explains her crazy marriages.

Elizabeth was a flawed human being making plenty of mistakes, but you have to give her credit. She lived with pizzaz, with flare and absolutely she lived it to the fullest and with true courage.

Goodbye to the last Hollywood Glamour Queen. You will not be replaced.

Stanley, Stanley, Stanley

My godson Michael has been joyfully expecting his first child but the controversy over the baby’s name has been raging for months. Michael is a real hockey fan and when he told his mother that he was going to name his son Stanley after the Cup all hell broke loose.

“Stanley? What do you mean, Stanley? That is an ugly name. It’s old fashioned. It’s an ugly name, you can’t name a baby Stanley.” My sister exclaimed. If you could only hear the tone she uses when she pronounces STAN-ley.

Since then Jeanette has discussed the name with her family and friends ad naseum and she is in deep despair over this name. In fact she was speaking to her god daughter’s mother about Stanley and made the comment that she hopes it will be a girl so they will forget about the name Stanley. Some weeks later Jeanette was babysitting Cassidy and met a friend while they were out somewhere and Jeanette mentioned that Michael and Audrey were expecting. Then very quietly Cassidy enters the conversation.

“We’re hoping for a girl because we don’t want a Stanley.”

You can never say anything in front of a child without it coming back to haunt you!

Meanwhile I was down in Ecuador enjoying various shopping expeditions and I happened to find this beautiful Ecuadorian shirt for a little boy which I ended up buying for my great nephew Scott. I mentioned it on Facebook. Next thing I know Jeanette is skyping me to ask if I will be getting something for Stanley. Well, I was feeling very guilty so I started looking around for something for a baby boy, telling my companions that I needed to find a present for Stanley.

“Whose Stanley?” they asked.

“Oh, that’s my great nephew who is due in March.”

Now that we have been talking about Stanley for six months I have sort of become accustomed to the name and I think when you say a name often enough it sort of grows on you. And in our respective circles Jeanette and I have made Stanley a celebrity of sorts.

To paraphrase Shakespeare “A rose by any other name is still a Stanley.”

So, welcome to the world Stanley!

Unravelling Celebrity - Part Three

Ah, you thought I would be done with the celebrity chat but no, I have more to say. In a word, charisma.

When I was in my early twenties by father told me flat out that I didn’t have any. Harsh. To be fair to Dad the conversation went something like this, that while I was beautiful and Cher was not, she had charisma and I did not.

So yesterday when I talked about luck that is only a part of the equation. Superstardom or even plain old stardom has that extra thing called charisma. Trudeau had charisma. Princess Diana had charisma in spades. Marilyn Monroe had it. I’m not talking about sex appeal. I’m talking about that charm that seems to ooze out of pores. It’s a certain radiance. I remember watching a biography of Marilyn Monroe and you could see this wonderful spirit in her eyes. Towards the end of the documentary it struck me that it was gone, her eyes looked flat and dead. It was terribly sad because I had the distinct impression that she was already dead inside. The real Marilyn Monroe was no longer there.

Princess Diana is without a doubt the most celebrated personality of the 20^th century. From the time of her engagement until well after her death her face was on countless magazines on a weekly basis. You couldn’t go to any cash register without seeing her face staring back at you. Now, Diana was not a classical beauty, but she had that charisma that just brought people to her.

So here’s the question, are you born with charisma or is that something you can acquire? Before Diana Spencer came into the public eye did people stop in the street and look back at her? I suspect not. But once she started dressing her “part” she was a head turning figure. Did people stare at Marilyn on the beach when she was Norma Jean? Probably, since she was a gorgeous looking girl even with naturally light brown hair. Did people look at the teenage Elvis? Probably. Cher, probably not.

Does the media create celebrities? Think Paris Hilton or Zsa Zsa Gabor.

In the end, I think that we, the people, create celebrities by buying into the media hype. We buy the rag mags, we watch Entertainment Tonight, we talk about Michael Jackson. But the ones who stay successfully on top for years on end have that elusive charm we regular folk succumb to.

Charisma.

This little charmer was selling gum, do you think I bought some?

Unravelling Celebrity - Part Two

Years ago my sister Charlotte asked the question “How do people get to be so famous?”

Since then we have pondered it many times. What I have observed in another avenue of success is that women became successful in one of two ways. They either were dead broke and so had nothing to lose by throwing themselves into a risky career, or they had a spouse supporting them. Women like myself who were single and had a mortgage had to be conservative in their choices or risk losing what they already had. So to be successful you have to be prepared to risk everything, to take the gamble and make choices that for someone a bit cautious (like me) would be too scary.

I have to say that when I hear about young people who graduate from high school and head off to NYC or LA with dreams of stardom in modeling or acting careers or even photography careers I admire their gumption even though I wonder what their parents are thinking. Most of the ones I know about have returned home but they are still pursuing their dreams, only in a Canadian environment. It’s cheaper and they have a support system close to hand.

So I think that nerves of steel and an unswerving belief in their goal is very strong in the people who are successful.

I also think that those who reach that pinnacle of success have luck on their side. I say that not to denigrate their talents and hard work, but because there are hundreds if not thousands of truly talented people in the world who never get “the lucky break” despite trying hard. Anyone who doesn’t believe in luck hasn’t much imagination, in my opinion. They are also pretty arrogant about their talent, drive and success.

I’ve met Lady Luck so I know – luck is part of any success story. But talent, hard work, integrity, confidence and belief in one self are part of the package too.

So ask yourself, are you feeling lucky today?

Unravelling Celebrity - Part One

So let’s talk about celebrity and about the ones who only get their 15 minutes (or so) of fame. People like Bobby Sherman, Veronica Lake, The Cowsills, Flip Wilson, even Sandra Dee.

The first thing I want to say is that parents should think long and hard before they throw their children into the fame game. The first child star I remember from my generation who died of an overdose was Anissa Jones from Family Affair. Since then we have been almost inundated with the tragic drug and alcohol infested lives of most of the child stars right up until the recent exploits of Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus. (I cringe to even use their names on this blog). Even the sweethearts like Melissa Gilbert and Maureen McCormick have come out with their drug and alcohol problems in recent autobiographies. The pressures, immaturity and exploitation of the celebrity game shouldn’t be something parents would want for their children. Let them getting their grounding first and they can seek their fame as adults.

Then there are the stars who, for one reason or another, walk away from their fame. Bobby Sherman was my heartthrob when he was on “Here Come the Brides” but soon after the show folded he left the bright lights and has since had a great career as a paramedic in his home town. A sweet success story out of the limelight. There is life after Hollywood. Others who seemed to walk away, Fess Parker, Charlene Tilton (of Dallas fame), Eve Plumb (Brady Bunch). But stories like these are few and far between.

Why do people seek fame and stardom? I think in the beginning most people go for the goal because of money, not the celebrity. But I think celebrity becomes an addiction. People seem to want to see their name in tabloids otherwise why do they go to the parties and the hot spot bars? Why do they misbehave and apparently make no attempt to cover it up? Why do they bed hop and steal husbands? Do they even have a moral compass?

Tomorrow I will talk about another side of celebrity.