Focus - or Getting Tough on One's Self

Sometimes some of my younger friends tell me that they admire me because I appear to always be doing something.  I feel a little embarrassed because I know how little I actually accomplish.  It’s embarrassing to tabulate how many hours I sit in front of the television or simply sit.  Be it resolved annually, monthly, weekly or daily, I find myself still sitting around.  How many others have this problem?  When one thinks about the variety of activities available to us, because we have so much more free time than our grandparents, isn’t it embarrassing to find that opportunities are under-utilized, to put it mildly?

Here it is the third last day of my 2 weeks vacation and I have still not opened up my Spanish lessons and I have only been on the treadmill 3 times.  What’s up with that?  Okay, I did spend quite a bit of time making cards but did I send out my full mailing list?  No, I say in a whisper, head hung low.

Yes, I am being harsh with myself but if I can be lax now what am I going to be like when I have 24 hours 7 days a week to fill?  Am I going to become a couch potato?  I shudder at the thought.  Sometimes when a person makes a comment and you are feeling a bit embarrassed, perhaps you should turn your focus inward and ask yourself why you are feeling thus.  It’s easy to take a long lens and say I have accomplished a lot in my life but in the full scheme of things, one should take a look at day to day activities and ask how much is quality time?  One cannot expect a quality retirement if we can’t have a quality vacation.

And how did you spend your Christmas break?

Values

What types of things do we value?  There are Values, as in principles and morals.  There is the value we place on financial security, respectability and education.  We may value celebrity or notoriety.  We may put value on our freedoms, the country we reside in and our ability to vote and govern our fate.  How much value does one put on day to day living, on the way we conduct our lives?

Yes, once again I am asking you to take a look at your life and put value on the things you accomplish daily.  Going to work and earning a living is an accomplishment in itself, if you happen to excel at your work give yourself an extra Wow.  If you are a “working Mom” give yourself another Wow for going to work and somewhere in between sending your child to school, getting them safely home, preparing meals for them and perhaps even getting them to do their homework.  Wow, wow, wow.  Some of you may also be volunteering, be it car-pooling kids around, being part of the hockey set for children, participating in church or school affairs – give yourself yet another Wow.  Are you one of the 44% who exercises their right to vote?  Give yourself 2 wows for that one (Federal and Provincial).  If you refrain from quarreling with your in-laws that’s a huge WOW.

The list can go on, all things mundane and “usual” but when you look at some of the things that go on in the world the fact that you are a law-abiding citizen zooms into perspective as a very big Wow.  After all, we only have to take a peek at the horrendous year in Canadian politics to know that we are living in a world that has gone completely off its rocker.  But let me not digress into smut.  Instead, I just want to pat myself and my readers on the back for being decent and normal human beings.  Let celebrities take a look at us and see if they can raise their own bar up to our standards.  Wouldn’t that be something?

Evaluating Life

There is a real danger in attempting to evaluate one’s life using celebrity benchmarks, and yet it is understandable that one would simply because these are the lives we know about and the lives that are “celebrated”.  I like to read or hear stories about ordinary people being acknowledged for something above and beyond the ordinary and some news programs bring more of that style of reporting into their program.  The other day Global had a story about an 80 year old woman who still teaches dance every day in her Toronto studio.  She sure looked terrific and at least 20 years younger than her age.

As I have written before most people are so bound up in their own lives that it is hard for them to think beyond their own families.  We were having an animated conversation in our home yesterday asking the question “what can you do about the problems you gripe about daily, here in Canada”?  My answer was that a first step is to write your concerns to your MLA, MP and the ministers involved in whatever the concern is (health, transportation, etc.).  For example, something that really upset me last month was when Flaherty adamantly stated that there would be no revision to Canada Pension Plans or Old Age pension plans despite all the provinces finally coming to an agreement on change.  How can he have the right to flatly say “it will be many years before that can happen”?  Let’s just reflect (as my blood begins to boil yet again) on how the disgraced senators fought, and won, their “right” to have their $80,000+ pensions intact.  Are you kidding me?  Honestly, every Canadian citizen should take pen, paper, typewriter, whatever, in hand and write a blasting letter objecting to this ENTITLEMENT.  Yes, this is the favorite word of the current governing bodies around the world.  We ordinary citizens (who, let me boldly remind you, have the power to vote you in or out) feel “entitled” to our CPP, EI, getting on a bus, and so on.  My goodness me, does anyone hear the echoes of Marie Antoinette’s infamous line?

No, this is not a call to revolution per se but it is a call to Ordinary Citizens taking a first step in help make change.  Just write a simple letter to your various representatives asking for a change in pensions because no one can live on $12,000 per year.  Certainly poor Pamela Wallen can’t manage on $225,000.  Yes, you can make a difference and a little tip, if you write to Ottawa you don’t even have to put a stamp on it (or at least, that’s how it used to be . . . I will double check on that for you, my faithful readers).

 

 

 

A Life Review

I had written a mini-bucket list for my 60^th year and have already missed 3 events so I will have to scramble to squeeze 9 into the next 6 months.  I am suggesting to myself that I need to post them on the calendar so I don’t forget about them.  It really is quite disturbing how easily I seem to forget things and gosh, I’m only 60!  I’m sure I will find the lost Christmas items some time in June but despite a thorough search of likely hiding places I was unable to find them.  No wonder I couldn’t remember something so little as going to theatre Calgary in December (which couldn’t have happened even if I had remembered as the weather certainly got in the way of any of those types of activities).

Ah well, time marches on whether we like it or not.

All in all I have had a very successful year and look forward to further fulfillment in the new year.  One of the things that I have plucked out of “Prime Time” is doing my own life review my own way.  Not for me the soul searching on character (why question the perfect?) but rather evaluating what I have accomplished in 6 decades.

The greatest of these is possibly the fact that I have been a Working Woman for 42 years; taking only a partial break while I went to university for 3 whirlwind years.  I’ve had a colourful career in several different sectors (industry, insurance, law, engineering, and oil & gas).  I had a long stint in a family business co-founding 2 very different types of companies.  During my working career I have worked with hundreds of people and made a few friends along the way.  I’ve helped people through marital woes and I’ve been part of 3 major projects building facilities in the north.  I’ve worked in accounting, in secretarial pools, as an office manager, as a project administrator, in marketing and as a paralegal.  I have thrown my hat in the political ring and stayed true to my party colours for 45 years.  I’ve written speeches and I’ve written marketing copy.  I’ve composed legal briefs and compiled documentation and taken my cases to court.  I’ve had judges try to frown me down for standing without “legal representation” and I was still standing at the end of the day.  I’ve stood up to bullying and made the bully accountable.  I’ve been through more than one legal circus and I’ve made more than one lawyer blink.  And yes, I have even made a television commercial and I have been part of several awards in business.  Let’s just say that I’ve had one very colourful career.

2013 Summed Up

In short, it was not my best year for blogging, with only 127 articles, half of my usual output.  The most significant event of this year was my turning the venerable 60 which resulted in a lot of soul searching as well as outward looking, evaluating world events and the impact it has on the individual.

·         January – blogging started off with high quality

·         February – the start of Canadian political madness in 2013

·         March – reading and evaluating Boundless Potential

·         April – first trip to Hawaii, discovering history and American tropics

·         May – became addicted to card making and started my birthday garden

·         June – 60 birthday and lived through Alberta floods and “a state of emergency”

·         July – 60^th birthday high school reunion

·         August – Lake Huron cottage retreat with sister & trip to Drumheller

·         September – Started taking Spanish Lessons

·         October – worrying about aging and giving thanks

·         November – Remembering Kennedy and another company Christmas party

·         December – self evaluation and looking globally

Primal Anything

Late yesterday the wind started up and reached a pitch of howling that made me wonder if something was going to fly right through the walls.  Once nature gets in full swing neither man nor beast can withstand the power generated by it.  While past years’ powerful horrors fade away the events of 2013 are still very vivid in people’s minds.  The Alberta floods are still being felt around the south, especially in my neck of the woods with people still without homes.  Just over the past week Ontario has suffered a horrendous ice storm that made it’s way further along to Quebec and the Maritimes.  Around the world there were amazing floods in Europe, typhoons in the Philippines and Asia, earthquakes in South America.  The list goes on.

Political upheaval continued in the Middle East, Korea continues to cause concerns, closer to home we had scandals in the Senate and a mayor in Toronto who made international news.  Human behaviour is as unpredictable and uncontrollable as the weather.  Primal lust in the form of greed is evident every day although our psyches are so desensitized by it that we can no longer feel enraged or shocked.

So here we are in the midst of the Christian world’s celebration of the birth of one who represents Peace on Earth and Goodwill toward Men.  At the same time we reflect on the events of the past year and somehow, once again, we see that things just do not jive.  Recently a man passed away who, in death, was celebrated as someone who “changed the world”, someone who made a difference.  I speak, of course, of Nelson Mandela.  I refrained from commenting on his passing not out disrespect for the man, but in respect for the nameless and countless others who have also fought for freedom in one form or another but who will never be recognized.  And as we reflect on the year that has gone by, let’s also reflect on what we, as tiny individuals, can do to make the world a better place.

To quote Frank Capra’s John Doe:

“Now, why can't that spirit, that same, warm Christmas spirit last the whole year around? Gosh, if it ever did, if each and every John Doe would make that spirit last 365 days out of the year, we'd develop such strength, we'd create such a tidal wave of good will that no human force could stand against it.”

Yoga and Healing

Living with constant pain can be mentally disabling.  For the last 2 months I have been suffering through a mysterious knee injury (and not gracefully I might add).  I say mysterious because I have not real idea of how the injury was caused.  After countless sessions with my chiropractor I finally went to a physiotherapist who diagnosed compressed nerves in lower spine which then manifested itself in extremely tight muscles all along my hip and leg which then seized up my knee area.  After just one IMS (needling) treatment I had some relief; 2 more sessions and some heavy massage on the leg has almost taken the knee pain away.  I have a tightness in my calf at the moment but otherwise feel pretty darn good.

I’m sure no one really is interested in my injury but the fact remains that while I was suffering such excruciating pain I was unable to think straight.  Consequently I was unable to put my chaotic thoughts down “on paper”.  My point being that good health is not to be sniffed at.  Whether one is in physical pain, mental anguish or simply feeling sluggish good health suddenly becomes the be all and end all of the day.  We are approaching the time of year when Resolutions are looming for many of us.  Let me point out that making a resolution for good health, exercise, proper eating and mental stimulation should become the norm of your life, not a resolution to maybe succeed in.  I’ve said it before and I will say it again, I believe that yoga is probably the best exercise anyone can do for themselves forever.  Being flexible is vital to anything else one may wish to do.  In moderation and as soon as you can possibly start, I say go for it.

I truly believe that yoga is the exercise that has helped me get fitter in other areas.  When I practice I feel more tranquil in my mind, I crave more water and less garbage in my diet, and my body feels almost as though it is singing in bliss.  After my yoga practice I can step on the treadmill feeling loose and ready for something a little more vigorous.  Or I can sit down with a cup of green tea and write a Haiku with serenity.

The nice thing about yoga is that it costs nothing to practice, except time and mental attitude.

Good health should never be taken for granted, and it’s particularly important as we approach our Act 3 (Jane Fonda’s word for senior years).  Stay healthy my friends, seek it, heal yourself, and be safe! 

Boxing Day Meditation

Here it is, another Christmas come and gone.  Now there are 5 days before a new year dawns and I start thinking about what is to come.  I took a brief review of the beginning of 2013 and thought “wow, you wrote some good stuff” and then I cringe as the months moved on and my passion waned.  Never mind, 2014 will see a resurgence of my energy and I will forgo regrets.

What I can say about 2013 is that it has been a year of deep introspection for me.  There have been so many things going on, flood, reunion, significant birthday, renewed endeavours in the career front, friends with illness and troubles, and the biggest question of all, when to retire?  One of the many books I received this Christmas was Jane Fonda’s “Prime Time” which I started flipping through right away.  It is a timely book despite the fact that I have already been doing a Life Review (as she calls it) for quite some time.  I like her way of splitting life into 3 Acts although the breakout of where the ages split is subjective.  I wrote similar wisdom in January about evaluating life.  Who knew I was as wise as the 73 year old Jane?

Though I just glanced through the book I see elements of “Boundless Potential” in her thoughts.  Some of the most meaningful lessons that I have learned about having a quality old age is keeping engaged, learning new things, giving back, volunteering or mentoring, staying engaged with the younger generations.  Whether I am watching Barbara Walters’ documentation on “Living to 100” or reading “Boundless Potential” or any other book on joyful living, the themes are similar.  And so my meditation thought for today is “thank God for the joy of reading”.   I can always find a nugget of truth in a book.

Thanks to all the wonderful gifters of books!

It's Christmas Time

One of my most memorable Christmases happened when I was 7 years old.  We were living in “the doctor’s house” (a cottage on Lake Ontario) at the time.  The house was perfect for a Shirley Temple style Christmas, with a fireplace, an upstairs so we could sit on the stairs and look through the banisters to await Santa’s arrival.  We had hung stockings on the fireplace, our simple little skinny socks.  There was a piano in the dining room where we could pretend to play Jingle Bells.  All three of us, Jeanette, John and I sat on the stairs for quite a while until finally my parents forced us to go to bed. 

Next morning we hurried downstairs and were aghast to discover the socks had been thrown on the Christmas tree and there were no presents under the tree.  Needless to say Jeanette began bawling almost immediately and only got worse when Dad came down the stairs and told us that Santa must have got angry that we had forgotten to leave cookies and milk for him.  Oh my but he had to hurry back upstairs to bring out the packages.  In all the excitement of getting presents I have forgotten what the excuse for Santa leaving them in my parents’ bedroom would have been. 

I look back and smile at that skinny little girl looking through the banisters.

Twinkle!

Everyone Wants a Piece of Me

Do you ever feel like?  I mean, it seems from September through December there just isn’t enough of me to go around.   I refuse to believe that it is “because I’m getting old” that I can no longer keep pace with the social demands put on me.  Rather, my circle of friends has widened to the point that I cannot seem to stretch myself any further.  That and the fact that things seem to get postponed because of the weather! 

For some reason this year time really seemed to run away from me, to the point that for the first time in my life I did not finish sending out my Christmas cards before the deadline.  Me, the organized one, the one who writes her cards in November.  I can’t believe it.  And as my niece recently posted “it’s so lovely to receive them” and I sure don’t want to get cut off from any of my friends’ lists.  I’m feeling a little of that bashfulness that comes from not listening to my own advice.  Get organized and say no when you have to.  Yes, I confess, I am not perfect.

There, it’s been said.  Do I feel any better?  Well, not immediately but I hope the salve to my conscience will set in within a half hour or so.  Seriously, we few, we unhappy few, who strive towards perfection have a hard time letting go of the goal despite recognizing the fact that we know it is unhealthy as well as giving poor returns.  We need to appreciate a Charlie Brown Christmas tree, burnt cookies and late greeting cards.

At the end of the day, perhaps the thought really does count.

Festivities

Christmas time has always been a time that I have looked forward to.  Unlike a lot of other people are rarely have been stressed over the holidays because I usually have everything bought by the end of summer.  This year has been particularly difficult though and as early as September I felt that things were coming to a peek in what I could carry.  I started to say “no”.  I have not reached the level yet where I can say it without feeling guilty that I have done so but despite that I do feel good about actually saying it. 

Have you ever noticed that there is always someone who will pick up the ball and run with it?  The one who is always picking up the slack?  The one who never gets a thank you.  Right, I knew you would miss that last one.  And that’s the thing.  After a while even a door mat will get fed up and say “no more”.  People are always coming up with good ideas but most of these idea people are not executioners.  Have you noticed how people are always criticizing the office Christmas party the next day?  Ask a little deeper question and you find that not one of those people have sent a memo to the organizers with suggestions, never mind actually volunteering to help with the next one.  Yep, I mean you Mister.

For the first time I understand why my mother is not so keen on all the bells and whistles that surround Christmas.  But as soon as I write that down I feel horrible, I feel deprived.  Where has all the sparkle and anticipation gone from this time of year?  Stress, feelings of being overwhelmed, uncertainty for the future, too much materialism, oh, there are any number of reasons why the season is feeling Grey.

So here’s a little suggestion, if you are one of the one’s who sit back and let others do all the planning here’s your chance to roll up your sleeves, raise your hand and say “let me help with that”.  And if you are one of the little Elves who is always doing the work, raise your voice and say “I need some help please”, and if you have to say it a little louder, do so.  Empower yourself, and then smile.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, smiles are everywhere . . .

Now What's Funny

Just because I’ve been pondering some heavy stuff lately doesn’t mean I haven’t had some laugh out loud moments.  Watching my critters demonstrate for me makes me grin and when they start doing the fandango I have to laugh out loud.  Thumper has started zipping around the house if he thinks he is being given “what for”.  Cherie gives me soulful looks after he’s tracked mud all over the new bedding and then rolls over like a dog to get a pat on the tummy. 

My mother repeats something I did not say and then says “I’ve got to go put my ears on”.  The other day she thought I said I wanted her to make a cow to go around my neck.  One look at her with my eyebrows raised and she got up and hurried to her bedroom to put on her hearing aids.  What I said was I wanted her to make me a collar; we both couldn’t stop laughing when she realized how crazy the “translation” sounded.

The other night we were watching some old family movies and we couldn’t stop laughing at ourselves laughing so hard.  One story in particular still keeps me laughing.  My mother has always been a stickler for good behaviour in stores.  As children we were warned well in advance of entering the story not to “plague” her; in other words, no asking for anything.  We weren’t allowed to touch anything either, only look longingly at the dolls and other toys in the bins or on the shelf.  Flash forward 50 years and there is my mother picking up a ball in Staples.  Just as she goes to test it’s bounce-ability I turn around and see her; my eyes look frantically at the sign but before I can say anything “whack” to the floor goes the hand calculator.  Mom looks up at me with horrified eyes; I spin around and shuffle out of the store holding my legs together, with Mom right behind me.  We stand outside the door and laugh so hard we can barely hold each other up.  Gasping for breath I ask her “why on earth?” and can’t get anything else out.  I start laughing again, Mom is laughing so hard she is crying, I am almost wetting myself.  Every time we looked at each other all the way home we would burst out laughing again.  At last Mom gets out “I thought it was a ball” which sets me off again.  “Why would you do that in an office supply store?  You with your perfect behaviour?”  She manages to get out “It was for Bobby” (her dog).

I tell you, it’s not easy raising a mother.