The Right Place, the Right Time

Oprah and I have a little disagreement about success. She believes that luck has nothing to do with it but rather that it is all work and determination on the part of the person. I would use the quote from Edison “genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration” thus success is 99% hard work and 1% luck, serendipity or being in the right place at the right time.  I don’t believe that this should take anything away from a person’s achievement but I do believe that luck (or whatever you want to call it) has its place in that success.

Having said that I will also say that often we create our own luck consciously or unconsciously whenever we act in positive ways that may be noticed by others. These actions may someday turn into that “luck” when someone remembers you and offers you the chance of a lifetime. So in a way you have indeed worked for your success but I always believe there is that little light of “something” that brings some people forward while others stay in the shadows. In making this observation I am not thinking about celebrities (in whatever sphere) but every day people.

Rather than taking any credit away from those who are successful I like to think that my observation gives everyone hope for themselves.

“Great discoveries and achievements invariable involved the cooperation of many minds.” Alexander Graham Bell

The Road Less Travelled

In the ordinary course of a woman’s life she will be a daughter, a wife, a mother and an employee. Perhaps she will become a professional of some kind so you can add that role to her list but the fact is that until very recently this latter role was either non-existent or still at the bottom of the list of her “roles”. I was really interested, even fascinated, to read the story of Marie Curie who very determinedly stood out as a scientist first, everything else was secondary. It is the more remarkable because she did this in the 19^th century and it was a very conscious decision. Not only did she ensure that HER findings would be recognized as hers rather than her husband’s but she also worked diligently to have both their papers published as quickly as possible in order to be recognized for their research. Even so they were beaten to the punch a few times. 

After Pierre’s death Marie hired governesses to care for their two daughters while she continued on with her work. It’s interesting to note that her daughter Irene followed her into science while Eve excelled in the humanities. Both daughters made their own mark in their fields, Irene also getting a Nobel Prize while Eve worked tirelessly for UNICEF. Oddly enough her husband got a Nobel Prize for his work but she did not despite working beside him. Meanwhile Irene got her prize along with her husband (not to discount Irene’s work, but rather to highlight that her sister’s work did not gain the same respect as her husband’s).

Irene’s children also excelled in the sciences but did not get a Nobel Prize and her grandson is an astrophysicist. 

A remarkable legacy for a remarkable woman. 

Reportedly Albert Einstein said of her that she was probably the only person who could not be corrupted by fame.

"To all the little girls who are watching, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams." —Hillary Clinton

A Shrew

Continuing with “Good & Mad” I find myself amazed at almost every paragraph!  I now realize why I was alone (or so it seemed to me) in KNOWING that Hillary Clinton out-debated both Obama and Trump.  The reporters were listening to the supposed sound of her voice instead of actually listening to her words!  How silly of me to think that content mattered more than any imagined delivery.  And I do mean imagined.  The poor darling couldn’t win for losing, as they saying goes.

What am I on about?  Rebecca Traister describes how women are perceived when they send out a message in an elevated tone of voice.  This is perceived as hysteria, screeching, caterwauling, or other like-minded hogwash.  Unfortunately the book was published before the infamous Ford / Kavanagh hearing as I would have loved to see her take on that farce.  My own opinion, now that I have read the description of hysteria as illustrated by a dozen political women is this – if ever in the history of media coverage I saw someone in the throes of hysteria it had to be Brett Kavanagh.  The man was beside himself, ranting like a lunatic and going so far as to reach into a 20+ year time that somehow made it possible that Ford’s accusations were related to the Clintons.  Holy cow.  And yet media gave him a PASS.  Even so called left wing media were not all over him for losing his cool from beginning to end.  The way he slapped those papers down was crazy.  If a woman had behaved like that they would have nailed her to the cross.  As it was Dr. Ford was still marginalized by them saying “well, something happened to her but it wasn’t him” even after she said she was 100% sure he was the one.

Excuse me . . . are you catching my tone?  Do I sound hysterical, mad, shrewish, perhaps?  Ah, you cannot really tell from print.  But stop . . . you know this is a female writer so yes . . . I must be frothing at the mouth.  Is it any wonder that women may still want to hide behind initials?

But I digress.

I am still barely half way through this book but as I say, I am really stunned by the incredible bias women are facing with respect to their right to be angry, even furious.  And oh my goodness, for a non-white woman she has 2 strikes against her.  She becomes “the angry black woman”.  Incredible to read about how Michelle Obama was first treated and how she had to “send a message” rather than speak like an ordinary, sane woman.

“When they go low, we go high.”  Michelle Obama

A Meow Instead of a Roar

Doom and gloom is not all this woman sees as she writes about “Women’s Legacy”. Women have found joy in their pursuits and they have learned to excel to remarkable degrees.

I love the story of Beatrix Potter who despite being denied recognition in her botany work she became famous as an artist, author and environmentalist. Her legacy to her chosen area of England has been an incredible boon to the land, sheep and tourism! Children around the world adore her little books, made for their little hands. How creative was Beatrix? WOW

Laura Ingalls Wilder created a series of pioneer stories that has resonated with generations of children (and adults) and inspired a beloved television series that is still rerun today. It’s a memoir that includes nuggets of pioneer life such as making butter and cheese, making straw sunhats an d butchering a pig and using all the parts for something edible.  In “Farmer Boy” Wilder describes her husband’s boyhood on an Eastern farm and how different peddlers came to the home to buy, sell and trade goods.  It is a wonderful rendition of “olden days”.

Edith Holden and her sisters were successful artists and naturalists.  Those who read my blog know how much I love Jessie Wilcox Smith’s art.  Georgia O’Keefe’s bold art was ground breaking as was Frida Kahlo’s.  Coco Chanel, Mary Kay, Elizabeth Arden, Helene Rubinstein and Kate Spade were women who took their own path in fashion and beauty.

My favorite mystery writers are all female, Agatha Christie, Georgette Heyer, Leslie Ford, Mary Roberts Rinehart and Daphne Du Maurier.  Indeed my favorite authors are also predominantly female including Edna Ferber, Jessamyn West, Alice Hoffman, Geraldine Brooks, Kate Gibbons, Jodi Picoult and Katherine Mosby as well as the Brontes and Jane Austen.  No one does horror and suspense like Stephen King but no one does hot button topics like Jodi Picoult.  Her “Nineteen Minutes” was one of the most powerful books I ever read (I’ve read almost all of her books).

Women have made their mark in all the same arenas as men even to the top most levels of power except in the supposedly “greatest country in the world”.  America.

"Women belong in all places where decisions are being made... It shouldn't be that women are the exception." —Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Decisive Action

I have been having discussions with family members and we are all in agreement that civilization at a precarious point in time. I sometimes feel that we are all sitting on a powder keg waiting for it to explode.

Anyone who has watched Middle East politics over the years will pretty much agree that there will never be peace in that region, ever. The mindset of Arabs and Jews is so ingrained in animosity built over centuries and there is no give on either side. There is an American president who fawns over murderous dictators and alienates traditional allies, where can that lead but to disaster? Europe is becoming more populist by the day and anti “otherness” grows by the week. Refugees from other parts of the world are pouring their way into countries which is threatening their economy, culture and stability.

No one seems to have any answers to these various crises. We have UN summits, EU summits, G8 summits, NATO summits and what-have-you summits and what happens? They talk about climate change, trade agreements and money, money, money.  Yep, that helps civilization – hardly. No one can even agree on sanctioning a murderous country like Saudi Arabia because, oh, we need their oil. Do we really? Oh, let’s not forget that the Americans sell some 10 billion dollars’ worth of munitions over there . . . good grief, is that nuts or what? Well, let’s not step on their toes to hard, shall we?

The trouble with politicians is that they are in it for themselves and the money. They have no ethics, no values, no morals, no compassion, and no sense of consequences. For them it is all Instant Gratification – for themselves.

Yes, we are living in a sick, sick world and I am sorry to say that I have absolutely no idea how we poor, tiny little citizens can make BIG CHANGES. Except to say, we need more women in government because at the end of the day (despite any anger issues they may have) they do have cooler heads when it comes to fighting.

"If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman." —Margaret Thatcher

 

Reimagining the World

Thinking about women and their struggles to become persons under the law has led me into some very stressful issues and sometimes I feel mired down by all the garbage we have endured and are still putting up with.  One can experience righteous wrath, raw anger, frustration and a myriad of other hot feelings but at the end of the day what does that accomplish?  In America they are hoping that these feelings will make a difference in the Primary elections in a couple of weeks’ time but again, what will that really for them?

There is more to be done than simply working towards female empowerment, equality under the law for race, creed and gender. People around the world need to reimagine the world as a far better place; a place that is peaceful, civilized, generous and selfless. Readers have seen my frequent observation that for a species that has been around for such a long time our veneer of civilization is very thin indeed. Why is that? Why can’t we seem to live the Christian creed of “do unto others as we would have them do unto us”? Why can’t people acknowledge that everyone deserves to live a wholesome life? Do not begrudge your neighbour welfare or employment insurance if that is what they need at this time of their life . . . there but for the grace of God go you. Did you think that your hard work got you everything you have now? You would be wrong; friends, luck, circumstance AND your hard work got you where you are. Not everyone gets the same opportunity, nor do they necessarily have the same abilities as you but that does not mean that they don’t deserve a decent living wage which includes a proper minimum wage as well as a full 40 hour work week.

I am dead set against businesses being allowed to operate on a 24/7 basis and allow the majority of their employees to only have 20 hours of work per week. There is something seriously wrong with our labour laws; if a business is open for those lengths of hours at least 80% of their work force should be fully employed and have full benefits. END OF DISCUSSION.

When you are selecting your candidate in an election what are the types of questions you want to ask them? Is the thing uppermost in your mind “I don’t want to pay more taxes”? I believe for the majority of Canadians the answer would be yes and I would admonish you to say – wrong question. Instead ask “what do I get for my taxes?” What is the percentage of my taxes compared with corporate taxes? Why aren’t the banks, insurance and pharmaceutical companies, Tim Horton’s and Walmart paying higher taxes than individuals? Is there a fairer way to do this?

Moving beyond the bugbear of taxes, let’s ask another question. As my candidate what would you do to make life better for ALL Canadians? And wait for the answer (and it wouldn’t hurt to time the pause before the candidate scrambles for an answer). It should amuse you or enrage you, depending on how you feel at that moment.

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass." —Maya Angelou

Barefoot and Pregnant

I believe most women would go out of their minds with rage if their families suggested to them that their role in life was to be barefoot and pregnant. I like to walk around barefoot in the summer and no I never wanted to be pregnant but plenty of women love being mothers. But using such a phrase on them would most likely sound like an insult to them which I believe it is meant to be. In Nazi Germany women were given a bonus to produce a child which seems pretty horrifying to me.

I bring this up because I see phrases and innuendos which echo this type of mentality today (notably by the man who shall not be named). Here’s how I respond. What makes you so insecure that you dislike having a woman be educated, get paid as much or more than you, and generally feel that her only place is under a man? Let’s look at this upside down – for centuries women have been under the man and finally they said “no more” and slowly built up some “rights” in this modern world. A lightbulb seems to have gone off in some men’s head where they are saying

“Hey, they are smarter than us, they are getting more than us, they are working harder, but what is happening to us? Hell, let’s knock ‘em down a few pegs. Hell, let’s get them barefoot and pregnant. Hell, let’s make them go back to church and believe St Paul was right about their position under man and God.”

Like that is going to happen . . . but sadly it appears that for some women that is precisely what is happening.

Now there are a lot of things I cannot stand in this world but one of the worst things I dislike in an “argument” is cherry-picking. If you bring up the Bible you better be prepared for me to go at you hammer & tongs; if you bring up the old saw “my parents said never discuss politics or religion” then go back to kindergarten because you aren’t in the grownup world yet. Don’t even get me started on the idea of who is allowed to raise their voice and who isn’t. [and no, I haven’t even gotten there in the book Good & Mad!] If one has a proper discussion on an issue then the arguments should be bold, strong and direct; there is no skirting around an issue or pulling out ancient rhetoric and attempting to make it the holy of holies. That won’t wash in a true discussion.

So where am I going with this? I am going to the garbage dump to get rid of all these old men’s tales about women. We are grownups and we can toe the line as good as . . . anyone.

"I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay." ―Madonna

 

Knee Deep in Quandary

Yesterday on The View they ran an interview with Hillary Clinton wherein she still defended her husband and switched the tables by talking about Trump’s allegations.  Then they turned on the questions and there was a cacophony of objections to Hillary’s being “tone deaf” to the MeToo movement, etc.  Here’s my response – why does Hillary have to be questioned about her husband’s conduct of 20+ years ago?  What does that have to do with her and what she is attempting to do with her life?  And why should she divorce him when she obviously still cares about him?  Can’t people move on about something so old?

So here’s the quandary. Having just said the above, then why was Dr. Blasey Ford’s allegations relevant 36 years later? I would say this is a situation where a person’s conduct needed to be told in light of his being appointed to a lifetime seat on the highest court in the land. The ship has sailed now and we need to forget about it as it cannot be undone.

Where do we go from here with respect to listening to assault allegations? I think we need to be awake at every moment, of every day to lethargy when it comes to the rights of humanity IN ALL THINGS. Whether we are talking about sexual assault, racism or human rights at home or abroad, citizens of humanity need to stay tuned, stay alert and make their objections and convictions heard regularly. The best way of doing this (but not the only way) is to VOTE. Please do not think that your vote is wasted; if you are uncertain about who to vote for at least go to the polls and use the ballot even if it is to invalidate it (not the best choice, but at least you have “attended to your duty”). A better way is to get as much information as you can about the candidate, the party and the issues of the moment and make a concerted effort to have an opinion. To say you don’t care is shameful. Yes, shameful.

For those with more time, passion and patience get even more involved but be sure that it is in with something you believe strongly about. There is no point in doing things in a haphazard or sloppy way when it comes to make a difference in other people’s lives.

Male or female, we are humans and I truly believe that we are put on this planet to make it a better place for humans. We are here to elevate our civilization to something higher than greed or power.

"A feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men." Gloria Steinem

Influential Women Today

Some women that I admire today include Rachel Notley, (Premier here in Alberta), Hillary Clinton and Oprah Winfrey. Premier Notley has conducted herself and her party with exemplary management through very difficult economic times in this province. Two years before her election the province saw a rapid decline in the job market as the world turned away from the oilsands and by the time she was elected the province was already suffering financially with loss of revenue from the industry. Despite this she decided to spend where funds needed to be spent rather than “cut, cut, cut”, the mantra of the Conservatives no matter if we are in the best of times or the worst of times (hence seeing a dramatic failing of infrastructure over the last 3 decades).  Media coverage of her progress has been negligible and the bias of the press is so blatant it makes this writer sick. One must do one’s own research in order to gain the facts of her leadership and the successes she has brought to the province.

Hillary Rodham Clinton is another woman who has been maligned to such an extent I marvel at her resilience in still being active in trying to make a better world. Only a few days ago she was at Oxford for the unveiling of a statue of Eleanor Roosevelt honouring her for her part in developing the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. In her first book “It Takes a Village” she wrote admiringly of the social quietness of Denmark which naturally struck a chord with me. Her many efforts towards getting an affordable health care to Americans has been another reason why I like this woman. Her grit and determination, her amazing ability to speak knowledgably on a variety of important issues (I will go to the mattresses on the Obama-Clinton debates; she won those debates and the journalists were merely having their ears tickled by Obama) and her sheer stamina and determination to make a difference make her one of the top 10 admired women of the 21^st century, in my opinion.

The third woman that I admire is Oprah Winfrey. From the moment she took the national stage as a TV host she has made a huge impact on women. Her fearlessness in tackling any topic made her show ground-breaking and her openness about her own personal issues made her beloved by millions of women. I think she has done a remarkable service in promoting others into celebrity, such as Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Rachel Ray and others. She isn’t selfish in that regard. One of her wonderful initiatives has been to create a Book Club which in turn has inspired thousands of book clubs around the world. Being an avid reader she has regularly spotlighted books and interviewed authors in her O Magazine. For a long time she had a monthly feature where a celebrity would write about their favorite books and every magazine has the latest books reviewed. She does tours and inspires women (and men) to “Live Your Best Life” and I am sure we will hear of legacy stories in the future.

There are few women who impact the world in a meaningful way but these are three of my favorites.

"I raise up my voice—not so I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard...we cannot succeed when half of us are held back." ―Malala Yousafzai

Good and Mad

I received my books by Rebecca Traister yesterday and have already taken a deep dive into both of them, “Good and Mad” and her earlier book “All the Single Ladies”. I can already tell you that they are worth reading if you have any interest in women’s experiences past and present.  But as I have not finished them by any means my comments will be limited to my own consideration of women being angry with what is wrong in this world.

First of all let me say that most women I know do not show anger nor do they speak of it.  They may speak about frustrations and this is mostly personal frustrations as they deal with government bureaucracy of one kind or another. Men or women, people generally don’t get angry until it becomes personal and affects their lives. Sure, they can get riled up when taxes seem to rise but mostly people are lethargic about the circumstances in their life, their world, their country.

Then there are the ones who really do care, the ones who become activists, who get involved, who speak out and attempt to make a difference. And as Traister points out oftentimes women are at the forefront of such movements but are quickly suppressed from keeping the lead by male domination. A case in point MADD’S (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) CEO is a man. While I don’t have details on the Pro-Life movement I noticed many years ago that there were an awful lot of men at various protests which I find incredibly annoying for reasons I won’t go into here.

However women have stood strong in this last decade in staying at the forefront of movements such as Occupy, Black Lives Matter, MeToo, Times Up and the women’s march on Washington these past two years.  Women on the right have also had some movements, most notably their involvement in the Tea Party and suppressing the passing of the Equal Rights Amendment (not a good thing in my opinion).

As Traister writes women’s voices are not only suppressed but derided as strident and unattractive when they raise them in protest. Meanwhile men are considered strong and forceful when expressing their wrath. The recent display by Judge Kavannagh is a good example of how he was used as a victim of injustice while Dr. Ford was seen as some sort of lying tool because she spoke in a measured way about her experience, neither embellishing her story nor sounding angry. These double standards will still take a long time to eradicate but I can say this, Righteous Wrath is never wrong as Jesus displayed in the temple 2,000 years ago. And a reckoning is coming for women because we cannot continue on this path where we are not seen as equal citizens under the law in every possible way.

Indeed time is up gentleman and the ladies will have their say.

"It took me quite a long time to develop a voice, and now that I have it, I am not going to be silent." —Madeleine Albright

White Privilege

This is a complicated topic because as a white woman it is not easy to completely understand the experience of a non-white person. I would not say that I as raised up with “privilege” in the sense of coming from a well-to-do family but we were not poor in any real sense of the word.

For women such as Jane Fonda, Maria Shriver and others who had the means, opportunity and the heart to be activists in various ways. I recall an interview quite a few years ago that Maria Shriver gave and she spoke about her father who asked her “what are you doing now to change the world” and she said she had just published a book and he waved that aside saying “that was yesterday, what are you doing today?” She laughed about it but said that in her family they were always pushed to help make the world a better place. I thought “wow that is really nice but some of us actually have to earn a living first”.

Recently Jane Fonda spoke about white privilege and while it wasn’t a new phrase to me the way she spoke about it was interesting in the context of how we see through a very different lens from those who are not white. We don’t have the experience of fearing being stopped willy-nilly by police officers, the fear of being shot almost by random and we don’t have the misfortune of being stuck in low income housing where schools are under-funded so that opportunities can so easily slip away, if they were even available in the first place.  Yes, of course I knew all these situations existed, indeed this past spring I virtually wept through most of Black History Month as I listened to the stories of individual women. But using the term “white privilege” in the same breath with these other experiences really opened my eyes to how fortunate I have been without ever realising. Does it make me happy? Well, yes and no.  I am glad I didn’t suffer as African Americans or other visible minorities have suffered but I also feel a sense of shame in not really understanding sooner how much these people go through EVERY SINGLE DAY.   

Listen to her speech and that of Patrisse Cullors here

https://www.facebook.com/TheUnitedStateofWomen/videos/vb.728080537326482/1225330537601477/?type=2&theater

“It takes more than empathy – it takes intention – to even begin to comprehend what people of color, no matter their class, face every day. And how much privilege, quite unconsciously, is enjoyed by those born white, even the poorest of us.” Jane Fonda

Scholars, Pioneers and Recognition

A list of women who were pioneers in one way or another is below; I let them speak for themselves.  In the meantime consider how women had to struggle to overcome the “handicap” of being a woman in order to get her education, get into her area of interest and finally get the recognition for what she had achieved.  Even such outspoken women as Golda Meir or Indira Ghandi are overshadowed by their male counterparts and compatriots.  One frequently has to dig deep to find achievers in various fields, not because they weren’t outstanding but because they were not recognized as such.

One truly remarkable woman was Marie Curie; she was recognized twice by perhaps the most prestigious award given to a human being, the Nobel Prize, one in Chemistry and one in Physics.  She was the first of 48 women out of 882 individuals to receive a Nobel and the first (male or female) to receive it twice. 

There have been remarkable women in all walks of life but very few are well known, or even known.  Not that these women are seeking out recognition.  I admire their commitment to their passions, whether it be in learning all that they can about apes, medicine, photography, nursing, mythology, education and so much more.  I chose to put Rebecca West on the list below because I think she was a diverse writer, feminist and activist in a time when I was quite rare to have such a combination of interests.  Another amazing woman, Eleanor Roosevelt, had such diverse interests and the incredible dynamism to get things done.  I close with her really wonderful quote.

 

·         Florence Nightingale

·         Clara Barton

·         Elizabeth Blackwell

·         Marie Curie

·         Edith Hamilton

·         Jane Goodale

·         Mary  Leaky

·         Golda Meir

·         Indira Ghandi

·         Eleanor Roosevelt

·         Maria Montessori

·         Anne Frank

·         Rebecca West

·         Christina Broom

"A woman is like a tea bag—you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." —Eleanor Roosevelt