Mingle, Mingle, Mingle

Company parties are not my thing.  I find company parties forced, phony and basically a drinking bash.  However, I must confess that this year I again took the plunge and attended a party that turned out to be quite a lot of fun.  What was the difference for me from previous years?  I pushed myself to mingle.  This is well beyond my comfort zone but I did it.  I moved around the room, stopped to chat for a few minutes with someone I knew, then excused myself and moved on to the next victim.  In other words, I did what everyone else has always done to me.

       It seemed ruthless but I felt that I was in control.  Now isn’t that a peculiar way of enjoying oneself at a party?  Being rude, almost.  However this seems to be the established mode of cocktail parties, mingle, chat, and excuse oneself before you get bored with the person you are chatting to so move on before they do.  I stopped and had a little snack here and there, refused wine and stuck with bottled water, and finally gave out and sat down when my knee started talking back to me.

       It was a true learning experience for me in how to have fun at a Christmas Party.  I just hope I didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings.  And hey, I got a memorabilia picture out of it!

Remembering Kennedy

As a Canadian it’s interesting to realize that one of the most significant moments in our political life may have been the day John Kennedy was assassinated. Certainly for me it is one of the moments that I remember.  I was 10 years old, in grade 5 and had never heard of President Kennedy until he was dead.

       My classroom had a door that went to the principal’s office and that day our principal opened the door for the first time, beckoned Miss Bailey over, whispered in her ear and before our astonished eyes she burst into tears.  She quickly composed herself, the principal went back into his office and as she turned towards us she said “President Kennedy has been shot”.  We all looked at her in wonder, not at all comprehending.  And then Susan Kennedy, who sat across the aisle from me, whispered across “So sad, and a relative”.  That struck me as funny although of course I did not laugh.  I was pretty certain that President Kennedy was not her relative.

       Having that experience in a small Canadian town, I can only imagine what it must have been like for American citizens on November 22, 1963.  I’ve seen plenty of media coverage, movies, read the books on the Kennedys and the conspiracy and still I find it an awe inspiring moment in history.  For many it spelled the end not only of the Kennedy era in the White House, but the end of an era of building up, of innocence and a belief in the American Dream. 

       John and Jacqueline Kennedy had brought glamour and style to the White House.  They brought youth, intellectualism, idealism and charm.  As much as there is to criticize and condemn there is even more to admire and inspire.  The Kennedys brought poets, artists and intellectuals into the White House.  Jacqueline Kennedy restored priceless art, furniture and curios in the White House and returned it to former glory, indeed, she made it more glamorous than ever before.  Celebrities flocked to the White House, fashion took on a whole new life with a young Jackie wearing charming little suits and pillbox hats.  And let’s not forget the oh so cool sunshades of both John and Jackie.

       I remember my father bought a comic book telling the life story of John Kennedy and of the summer camp counsellor who confiscated it from me and refused to give it back to me.  It’s probably a collector’s item now.

       Flash forward 5 years and I remember how Jackie, the young widow suddenly became vilified because she started to date and then ended up marrying Aristotle Onassis.  How fickle the American public became.  Their icon had fallen in their eyes.  It was many decades before she went back up on the pedestal again.

       50 years later, the Kennedys are still glamorous.  Still the number one story of the ‘60’s.

What is a Citizen?

Citizenship can take on many guises and embrace many different philosophies but in today’s world what do we mean by being a good citizen?  Obeying the laws of the land, participating in elections, being a good neighbour, carrying on the economy by being employed, these may be some of the elements of being a good citizen.  Other clichés come to my, such as “giving back to the community”. 

       In a nutshell, how are we being informed?  We can listen to mainstream media via radio or television but just what are we being told about how the world is run?  So if we begin to suspect that we are being lied to we can start going to the Internet and search out conspiracy theories, or look for elements that seem to confirm what we may suspect.  However, there are  avenues that may be more legitimate and more balanced even within the mainstream media.  There are magazine style programs such as “60 Minutes”, “W5” “The Fifth Estate” or “The Nature of Things” that go a little deeper into a story although even here one wonders if there are axes to grind.  One program that I find particularly interesting is “Moyers & Company”.  For one thing he is a well spoken moderator and I find his guests articulate and frequently “non-mainstream”.  After listening to the guest I find myself searching out more information on the internet about their topic, their blogs or websites, or their books.

       Being a citizen means different things to everyone but one of the best things an individually can do for themselves is to be informed but their neighbourhood, province, country and the world at large.  There are so many topics today that ultimate affect the individual that at the every least one ought to understand the topic.  Perhaps we cannot all form an opinion on every topic going, perhaps we cannot engage in changing the outcome of every topic that comes along, but don’t you think it would be a good thing to know what may harm you?  I think it's important to be engaged in topics once in a while even though most of us struggle with the day to day matters that help us put food on the table and shoes on our feet.

      Several very interesting women were on Moyers & Co in the past couple of weeks speaking on similar topics that boils down to the illusion we live in called democracy.  I encourage you to visit this website, it is an eye opener.

http://www.popularresistance.org/issues/

Third Anniversary

It’s hard to believe this month is the third anniversary of my blog. I’ve run the gamut of thoughts running through this brain from childhood reminiscence to political musings.  I’ve talked a lot about values and the confusion created by a rapidly moving, technology driven world.  When I commute on the city train each day I observe individuals many of whom I see on both the morning and evening commute.  I wonder about their lives, how similar are they to mine, and I wonder about the reason we all toil as we do and to what end.

       I recall a gentleman I worked with some years ago, he would muse to any of us his colleagues with the question “what’s the meaning of life” and reflecting back on it now I realize that he must have been in a very serious older mid life crisis (I suspect he was in his late 40’s or early 50’s at the time).  Thinking about my 60 years I feel “venerable” but only from the point of surprised and shocked.  Somehow crossing over that threshold has me in a state of constant incredulity.  It’s not that I dread age per se, I just feel very surprised that I feel as I do at SIXTY.  I don’t feel the way I would expect an older person would feel.  I still feel very young and giddy.  So I observe the people on the train / bus and wonder “what are they thinking about”, to what end are we all toiling our lives away.  Naturally I understand that we have to survive, we have to earn a living.  But is this all there is?  Are we really meant to work so hard and enjoy life so little?

       It’s a disturbing thought.

       But I am lucky to have my mother with me still and I can tell my readers this – even at 80 the questions are the same, the sense of humour is still alive and rip roaring.  There’s still a lot of enjoyment in life 20 years down the road, despite aches and pains.  So despite my sense of surprise even dismay, I can smile and realize I still have a lot of laughing to do.  I hope you do to.

Energy, Energy, Energy

Discouragement, anxiety and doubt are all emotions that can drain one of energy.  Perhaps the most draining of emotions is poverty.  Poverty is not only a state of being but a state of mind.  Poverty drives humanity to actions that can be horrendous; it can make a person desperate or drive one to acts that they might not do under different circumstances.

       On the other hand, excitement, curiosity, wonder and belief in the positive can create energy.  If one has been on one end of the spectrum is there any way to swing the other way without doing some extremely hard work, soul searching and forcing energy into the mind and body?  Well, there is this little thing called luck.

       The question is, do we bring luck to us, does it become “ones luck” or is there really such a thing as luck?  How many books have there been written about the power of the positive?  Hundreds in one form or another.

       This is just one person’s belief but I believe that we create our own luck by being positive.  When we have positive energy we attract good things to us.  It may take time, it may take practice and it may take a lot of trust in that positive energy, but I honestly believe that in the long run the positive, like the good, is the energy flow that wins.

       It takes real effort to get out of bed when you feel your world is crashing around you but it’s worth it to make the push; somehow we can all come out at the other end of the tunnel if we really try and we really believe.

       And sooner or later, the world pendulum will swing back to centre.

Senate, Senate, Senate and tsk, tsk, tsk

There has been so much fodder for the politicians this week since Parliament came back in session that it’s all we can do to get home to watch the soap opera of a Scandal.  The drama, the lies, the hurled accusations, the lies, the melodrama, the lies, the backstabbing, the lies, the stance for due process and did I mention lies?  I enjoyed the question period today on The National but I did have to raise eyebrows as they talked about the “good week the Prime Minister was having”.  Again, did I mention the lies?  So how could Harper possibly be having a good week because who in their right mind believes one word he has said after the remarks made this week (or ever given what he has said this week)? 

       I thoroughly enjoyed Rex Murphy’s take on the Senate this evening.  Earlier I had been inclined to believe that while I want to be rid of those cheating senators it ought to be done with “due process” but Rex Murphy enlightened me.  It’s true, why should we accept the high moral ground some of the senators are taking now in defending democracy when the fact is that most of them have been appointed as political favors, the senate has run on very loose or non-existent rules so why should they suddenly defend democracy?  Oh right, because now they are threatened with having their gravy taken away; and no, you can’t lick the spoon first.

       I write tongue in cheek because the journalists who are “telling it like it is” are the ones who could be lining up for a position in the senate someday too.  Let’s face it, wouldn’t any of us jump at the chance of getting on the gravy train?  The trouble with most of us is that we have too  many ethics to ever get a chance to be offered such a post.  With all the scandals we have seen over the decades is there anything we can learn from them?  I strongly suspect that anyone who runs for politics, who in any way is going to land on a tax paid salary, is most likely a sociopath.  How else can one explain the scandal statistics?  The ones who are really doing any good are those in the trenches, doing the work of the people for poor pay and little reward except the satisfaction of doing good (and one hopes, no harm).

       Noblesse oblige? Now there’s a myth for you.

What's Up Lollipop?

When Madonna came out with her song “Material Girl” back in 1980’something I thought “yep, that’s me, the material girl”.  I like my stuff, my clothes, my jewelry, my ornaments, my stuff.  Generally though I have been pretty restrained in my buying power until the last couple of years when I let my inner Shopping Girl take over and roar.

       Now as I hit old age I find myself turning inward and doing the conventional soul searching on what do I really need?  I haven’t taken any giant leap towards “down-sizing” but I am questioning what I want.  Even as I enjoy my new hobby of card making I wonder, why?  I find myself looking more seriously at my mother’s comments when she says “do you really need it” or “why do people buy all that junk from China”?  Oh dear, is this a sign?

       A therapist would tell you that people buy and accumulate things as a way of feel secure; it helps to cover up their feelings of inadequacy.  Or so they say.  So then I wonder, why do people who already have a lot of money and things, why do they feel compelled to have more, more and then more?  Why do they begrudge others from having “enough” while they accumulate multi-millions?  How empty are they inside that they can never have enough?  People who keep sticking their hands in the cookie jar are deviants from normal social behaviour.  How is it that people such as they get into positions of power?

       What fills you up?  Is it material things, activities, relationships or something else.  As we get older and wiser, I hope we are able to be introspective enough to recognize who we really are.  And know what we really need is character, not stuff.

Ageism

This morning I am sitting here nursing a sore knee and wondering what I could possibly have done to it.  Did I twist it in the night, do I have rheumatism or did the chiropractor over work the body?  In any event I am missing work today, or rather “working from home”.  Now those quotes could be interpreted in various ways, the truth being that yes, I actually sit at my computer for the bulk of the day working on whatever comes across my computer screen or else I work in the background completing various tasks online.  But bosses tend to be suspicious of staff that “work from home” not believing they are doing anything at all.  Indeed, I had one manager make a comment that the staff would be in their pajamas and my thought was “does it matter as long as they are working”? 

       All that aside I find myself becoming more sensitive to that term “ageism” in the work place.  I reflect back to when I was a youngster first entering the workplace and often noting that the middle aged staff seemed to have difficulty with new concepts or processes.  I was 18 and I was trying to teach a 40 something the simple task of working the telex machine.  Not for the life of her could she grasp how to turn the machine on, much less type on it.  I could not understand it.  Forty years later I look at my generation of workers and wonder, why can we learn things at rapid rates when this poor woman couldn’t understand a two step process?  In my company we learn at least two new processes a year, some years up to seven, and we seem to nail them almost immediately.  Are we smarter or are we just so inundated with change that our minds are nibble and attuned to learn?

       I recognize that there are individuals who slack off but those people come in all age groups and for the most part I see my peers going the extra mile in professionalism, coming in early, leaving on time or later, working through lunch hours, following up loose ends and basically giving their all at work.  I therefore question why employers only look at a spreadsheet that indicates that Susie, Dolly and Molly are “expensive” and they should be the first to be “attritioned”.  Are they really so shortsighted as not to realize that they get four times the amount of work out of the senior folks than they get out of the majority of juniors?  Not to mention the history, quality and added value of the work they put out.

       This article is dedicated to the wonderful women that I’ve been privileged to work with, associate with and acknowledge as peerless peers.  I salute you.

What's In A Word?

Have you ever noticed it when your whole conversation seems to be one long string of clichés?   Language can be an interesting study whether you are learning a new language or dissecting your native tongue.  Even when I sit in meetings I hear a lot of jargon, buzz words, business clichés and while I sit silent and merely take notes I wonder if anyone knows what is being decided.  Sitting on the train I hear snippets of conversation; whether conversation between passengers (rare but it does happen) or on a cellphone chat but a lot of what I hear is “yeah, yeah, yeah” or other nod words.

       Now I am studying Spanish and I am amazed at how many meanings one word has.  They tell us that Spanish is one of the simplest languages to learn but that is deceiving in my opinion.  Just learning the alphabet is complicated because the letters are pronounced quite differently depending on the rest of the word.  Perhaps I am too used to English to see that it is equally complex just in the alphabet but somehow, I don’t think so. 

       So picture this, we have a room of perhaps 20 people made up of 5 Koreans, 4 Danes, 3 Venezuelans and 8 Canadians.  Talking about money.  How do you think that conversation is going to go?  The nuances of 4 very different languages can produce some very interesting results even at the most basic level.  Is it any wonder we have wars?

       I think politicians should be required to study languages, not least of all their own.

Another Thanksgiving Weekend

Another year has gone by in a flash and I sit here thinking about what I am grateful for this Thanksgiving weekend.  Just saying the words “the traditional family, friends, harvest, work, health” at first seems lame but then I think about how many people don’t have the traditional family, friends, harvest, work or health and I say “give your head a shake” because it is never enough or wrong or lame to be thankful for what we have.

       Indeed, Thanksgiving weekends come and go, we say the words but do we actually feel them?  Deep down, do we feel what it is to be thankful or grateful?  I don’t think we do, on a daily basis, because we take so much for granted.  We take the country we live in as safe and sound, but unless we pay attention to the news, pay attention to what happens around us, we don’t really realize that being Canadian is a wonderful privilege because it could be so much worse.  We don’t realize that having a home and a job are fantastic givens in our lives when many people don’t have homes or jobs.  More than we realize.

       Even looking internally, forgetting about what others have or have not, do we know what it means to give thanks to the universe for our lot in life?  I said to my Mom yesterday as we drove to the grocery store “I am so grateful for the wonderful childhood that I had” and she replied “It makes me feel good to hear you say that”.  It was a simple, impulsive exchange but it was genuine.

       I’m hoping everyone did look at their lives with gratitude and amazement because we really do have a lot to be thankful for.

       My cup runneth over.

Picture It

I’m groping for the brilliant idea I had this morning and coming up empty.  Do you ever have days when you wake up knowing you’ve just had an intense dream but even as you try to assemble your thoughts they have floated away in a cloud of grey mist.  There are days when I remind myself with a long list of tasks that I must do on the return trip but at the end of the day it’s all I can do to walk in the door and say hello.  With this sort of mind how is it possible that I retain a bit of hope that I can learn a new language, even if it is supposed to be the easiest one in the world.

       That’s right, I had my first Spanish lesson yesterday and by tomorrow I am hoping that I will still be able to remember how to count to ten!  We are supposed to write out lists in Spanish (once we progress to that level) and we are encouraged to study between classes.  However, I am terrified of forgetting my exercise book so I keep it at work.  Folks, I am between a rock and a hard place, to do my homework or to forget my book – what is a girl to do?

       Not grow old.  And here again, I have a dilemma because part of learning a new language is to prevent the mind from growing old.  Oh dear, I am starting to sound old as I ramble along.  What was I trying to tell my audience?

       Yes, picture where you put your cell phone tonight because in the morning you are going to need it to remind you to wake up and, what was that, smell the what?

       I hope you are enjoying entering your sixties!

Mountain Climbing

Picture 7 women traipsing along a mountain path with rugged shoes, ball caps and flashing whistles talking and laughing as they make the climb to what, they are informed, is a spectacular view.  It takes about an hour to reach their goal, with several (let’s say lots) of pauses to catch their breaths although the pretext is to observe the view.  The last little jaunt up the side of the mountain is better done by a mountain goat than 5 inexperienced climbers but at the behest of the 2 worthy climbers we gird our loins and make the last effort to see . . . an crystal clear mountain lake, where the bottom is deep aqua and yet we can also see emerald green moss, clear as daylight.  All is pristine, the trees are quiet as there is no breeze and the sun is shining brightly on the water, causing it to sparkle.  The effort was worth it, we all agree, while we settle down to our packed lunch, pull out our water bottles and breathe in the crisp mountain air.  Then what a surprise as one of the ladies pulls out a flask with . . . wine.  The day is complete.

       This is how I spent my last day off and after waking up with aching limbs the following morning I still was able to say “it was worth it” and that I ought to do this more often, in fact, every weekend would be great.  This of course won’t happen because for one reason or other “things” come in the way of it.  Even as I write I realize how very lame this excuse is, there are places to see, easily accessible and if one is in good health, one ought to do it.

       We shall see, but meantime, another mark against my bucket list, marked complete for my 60^th anniversary list.  Ah, the sense of accomplishment is wonderful!