Going Back to Square One

Yesterday I think I got hung up on too many labels.  Today I am going to think about my beliefs from a new perspective.

Things I believe in are fairness, honesty, and loyalty.  These are probably my three strongest beliefs, the ones that have grounded me throughout my life and ones that I don’t ever remember having been taught, they just were.  Along with these beliefs I believed in a good work ethic but I did learn very early in my working career that being a good worker, being fair, honest and loyal did not give me the highest raises or the best promotions.  From the beginning I held my beliefs were more important than the money, the promotion or the recognition so I suppose another belief I had was belief in my personal integrity.

In considering my beliefs I went back to my childhood and realized that one of my fundamental beliefs was in the invincibility of my parents.  I believed my parents knew everything about everything and the day my mother wasn’t home during lunch hour rocked my world.  My faith in my parents was complete and nothing anyone could say would ever have caused me to doubt my parents.  For that I am truly thankful as it gave me a foundation to build all other beliefs. 

My fundamental beliefs are the ones that built my character and contributed to what can be perceived as prudishness and/or priggishness.  It also made me into a Pollyanna-like person which was confirmed recently when I took a profile quiz that marked me as a “Believer”.  But my beliefs have also made it so that I can put my head on my pillow at night and I sleep like a baby.

I’m pretty sure this studying belief into character is not supposed to make a person pat themselves on the back but oh well, I believe I have the self-confidence to that.  J

 

Do My Beliefs Make Me Who I Am?

Now there is an interesting question about being.  How many labels can we attach to ourselves?  Things such as I am a woman, I am 60+, I am Canadian, I am a daughter, a sister, a friend.  Or things like character such as I am organized, I am happy, I am smart, I am stupid, I am wise, I am a clown, I am impatient, I am tolerant.  You can see that some labels conflict with each other.

Do these labels we or others put on us make us who we are?  Deep down?  I think it shapes us but it doesn’t make you who you are.  We are more than the labels and our beliefs are deeper than being a woman (for example).  The beliefs that truly define us, are the beliefs that we carry out in actions.  A person may say she is kind but if she sits on the bus and growls at anyone who tries to sit beside her she is not behaving kindly and her belief in kindness is not a true belief but a myth she tells herself.

Examining what we really believe means we have to look at how we behave in order to know that we are measuring up to our beliefs.  I know I am looking at the question sideways instead of examining myself but it seems to me that I have to understand the question more thoroughly in order to put a lot of labels on myself and then work through those beliefs in myself.

Objections aside I will think about my beliefs and try to figure out what they mean!

Nature Talks

We are now in the true depths of autumn, when there is a bite in the air, the leaves are gone and the grass is dun coloured.  This is actually one of my favorite months of the year because it spells a time of both quiet and a quickening tempo.  The quiet is simply the quiet in nature as it goes to sleep, animals are hibernating or taking a slower pace, even the birds seem to be slower in their flight across the sky.  As I walk around the property I notice all the empty nests that are sitting in the trees and bushes; there are a number of huge, awkward looking magpie nests that are constructed with large branches that seem to go willy nilly in all directions and there are the smaller brown bird nests belonging to sparrows or wrens.  Up in the corner of the eaves and crossbars of the cabin are the tiered robins’ nests and to my delight there are a couple of “condo nests” where robins have nested above each other.  How wonderful is that to see?

At the same time we have a number of holiday events that pile on top of each other, our Thanksgiving and then Halloween and before that is over the stores are filling up with red, white and green and all the sparkling in between.  People are already planning their Christmas parties, what to wear, what to buy, cards to send, wine to buy and let’s not forget all the budgeting that should be going along with the planning.  For those who think even farther ahead there are the bills and the annual fees that come up right after the holidays.  As one of the unlucky ones whose name is called up for license plates I have all of that to deal with before the end of January.  But maybe that’s going a little ahead of everyone else!

Today was a perfect day to begin my 21 day Meditation series with Deepak & Oprah.  I think it’s amazing to get this free offer a couple of times a year especially when it can really enhance a person’s day, week, beliefs and life.  This time around I am going to be mindful every day in the hopes that it will actually become a daily routine.  As this winter approaches I want to take the opportunity to learn something new every day and this is a great beginning to each day.  How perfect is that for November 2^nd?

Below is a link that may get you into the Free Experience.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

https://chopracentermeditation.com/experience

Irony in Big Things and Small

The biggest bonus in the characteristics department has got to be the ability to laugh at one’s self.  If we didn’t have a sense of humour we would be in serious trouble most of the day.  Now why would I say this on such a holy day as Sunday.

Because it started out virtuous.

In the big scheme that I call my retirement planning I have decided that this winter I am going to study theology.  What better way than to tackle C.S. Lewis’ “Fern-seed and Elephants”, a nice little book on various theological themes.  I ripped right through the book and felt particularly pleased with his chapter on Forgiveness.  I was all right with the world when I stepped into my car.  The sun was shining, the wind was minimal and I was smiling.  Then I hit the highway; still smiling but soon my lips were gripped firmly between my clenched teeth.  Within ten minutes choice words exploded and immediately I felt remorseful but three seconds later another car cut me off and the tranquil morning disintegrated to me wondering where half the drivers got their licenses.

Naturally I started laughing at myself as I realized how unholy I really was.  Before you get too judgmental on me, let me tell you that I was fully aware from the minute I hit the highway that I was going to be tested and that I was going to fail.  Furthermore, I was not really experiencing road rage, I was simply wondering why people would feel an urgency to get anywhere at 10 on a Saturday morning.  It’s not like I wasn’t going the speed limit and I was in the “slower lane keep right” lane.  However, people have their own sense of what is important to them and inside my car I am allowed to observe whatever I like.  I didn’t honk the horn, I didn’t give anyone the finger, I merely wondered in a rather explosive sort of way, but that’s my way.

Driving is one of the most common tasks we perform almost every day so it’s a time when we should be fully aware of what we are doing and how we are affecting other people.  I cannot fix other people’s bad habits even though I can honk at them when they cut in front of me without signalling.  They just think I am a jerk because of course they have a right to do whatever they want and it’s fun to keep other people on the road guessing as to what your intentions are, right?  (Even when I am trying to be kind I cannot curb my sarcasm, sorry.)  Seriously, we cannot be our brother’s keeper when we are out and about in society.  We can only be mindful of how we conduct ourselves if we care about such things.

So, do we care about how we conduct ourselves?  This is what I am wondering as I read Lewis’ book.  I took down my old confirmation text and browsed through it which took me back to my 13 year old self and how I questioned so many pieces of the catechism.  I thought that it would be good to get a 62 year old perspective of what I learned when I was a child.  And let me tell you that I found myself startled at the questions I had about myself, my religion and my “relationship with God”.  How quickly I found myself back in my young mind, asking the same questions about the trinity and about my day to day life in relation to “what Jesus wants us to be”. 

As part of the 6 pieces of pie used to outline aspects of retirement (finance, physical, mental, spiritual, social, active) I am taking year two to explore spirituality and Phase One, religion, is very inspiring.  My little grey cells are working overtime.

But I’m still smiling.

Revisiting History

I was having quite a rant yesterday from one hot topic on The View so let’s go to another topic. 

Why are we revisiting the question of abortion in Canada and the United States?  Didn’t we agree back in 1972 or thereabout that women had control over their bodies and had a right to make a choice in the event that they had an “unwanted pregnancy”?  Why are we talking about this again?  Has the Boomer Generation found Jesus so now want to rectify their “youthful mistakes”? 

There are some decisions that should be made by neutral parties where emotion is not part of the equation.  That is why we have instruments such as courts and other governing bodies.  We also have the Supreme Court where several judges confer and make decisions.  Religion should never be part of a neutral decision.

People get very emotional when they think about the fetus being “a person” and that is understandable.  However, your personal emotions should have nothing to do with the decision of an individual whose life is going to be unalterably changed regardless of the decision she makes about terminating or not terminating a pregnancy.  It’s not anyone else’s job to judge, to save, or otherwise interfere.  Society made a decision that a woman has a right to make decisions about her body and that includes anything in her body.  Whether you are religious or not, whether you believe in the right of the fetus or not, it’s not your right to decide for another human being; the Supreme Court of Canada and the Supreme Court of the USA made these decisions a long time ago. 

What has changed?

Growing into Senior-hood

I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about becoming a senior citizen but I am finding that the label doesn’t seem to fit.  When I think of a senior citizen the image of a grey haired, hunch backed old lady waddling along with a shopping bag comes into my head.  Despite objecting to images, profiling, one-size fits all, stereotyping, well, you get the picture; no one likes to be pigeon holed but when it comes to aging our first picture may not be pleasant.  After all, when I first wrote senior citizen above what picture popped into your head?  I’m guessing it was not Diane Keaton or Linda Gray, two ladies who are certainly rocking their senior years.

In recent times it is likely that each generation thinks they are breaking down barriers of one kind or another and the Boomer Generation is now moving full force into senior citizenship.  When I turned 50 and then 55 I was expecting to discover perks as the prelude to senior citizenship but outside of Smitty’s Seniors Menu I haven’t really discovered much in the way of “senior savings”.  Now I am appalled at how countries around the world are pushing back senior benefits from 65 to 67 and even beyond.  I have discovered that even though you can take free classes at institutions of higher learning you will not be accredited the courses.  So these are some negative thoughts.

However on the brighter side of being older we tend to find ourselves really not giving a care about what other people think of us.  We also don’t care about filtering our thoughts or our mouths.  After all we didn’t get to this age without those around us knowing who we are and if they find us offensive that is their problem, not ours.  This is not about losing our sense of tactfulness or good manners but rather about expressing opinions on so-called sensitive matters without regard for what is now deemed political correctness. 

These days I have more leisure to watch some of the morning talk shows and sometimes my mother and I look at each other in bafflement and wonder “why”?  This week there was a big hullaballoo about a police officer “taking down” a 16 year old student in the classroom.  So here are some of the questions we asked each other:

1.     What happened before the police officer was called in? [apparently the teacher asked her to

o    Stop using the phone

o    Hand over the phone

o    Get out of the class

2.     How was it that other kids in the class had their phones and were videoing the scene but only the “take down” and not everything that happened prior?

o    Still no answer to that one

3.     So can you tell if the kid was holding on to the seat so that when the officer had to pick her up to get her to move the chair tumbled along with her?

o    It’s hard to tell here but my own experience – I have seen a teacher lift a kid out of his seat and the seat went tumbling down with him because he was holding on to the whole desk – it looked violent because of the noise but the teacher actually wasn’t hurting him (at least not on purpose)

4.     Notice there was no sound throughout the video?

o    Can you imagine what was being said throughout the takedown?

Before everyone has a stupid hissy fit I am not saying that it’s okay for the police officer to grapple a female student but why are kids behaving this way in a classroom?  Why are phones even allowed in a classroom?  What is wrong with parents for insisting that they have to be in touch with their kids all the time?  Can’t parents get an f’ing grip on themselves?  Number one, my parents never had to contact me in all my 13 years of school.  Number two, nothing in the world would make me want to talk to my parents while I was in school.  Number three, when I wanted to talk to someone I actually talked to them.  Number four, our teachers were empowered to discipline anyone who dared get out of line, and guess what, the parents were okay with them getting the punishment they deserved.

I think people have to stop tiptoeing around children or giving them everything that they want.  Principals need to declare schools a phone free zone and parents need to suck it up.  There’s a phone in the office and if you need to talk to your kid you can call the school secretary.  I’m pretty sure that will stop all this helicopter parenting and kids can actually grow up.

Sheesh, all this from a six second video.  Did you know that’s called a vine?

A Slanting Look

I’m looking out of my office window and can see from the slant in the shadows that winter is approaching and that gives me a little pang.  Goodbye to hours in the garden and basking in sunlight and hello to snuggling in front of a cozy fire. 

That sounds marvelous but the reality is that in order to stay sane I find myself needing some self-imposed structure to my day.  This includes a regular morning wakeup time, breakfast while reading my latest book and then at least 40 minutes of exercise to get me revved up for the day.  By 8 o’clock I am now ready to really start my day, first with my chicken chores and then into the office to read my mail, pay my bills and then start writing for an hour or two.  Actually snuggling by the fire doesn’t happen until later in the afternoon.

Yesterday I wrote an article which I have since scrapped because it again preached about regularity and finding hobbies but once I evaluated it I felt nauseated.  Who am I to advise anyone on how their retirement should look?  I’m still learning how to manage my own retirement and every day I am discovering new things about myself.  One of the things I have realized is that learning is one of the most valuable experiences we can have.  Learning as experience.

There’s learning about one’s self, an evaluation of our reactions, our morals and values and how we live and learn.  There is also learning about subjects whether that is a specific topic such as history or physics or abstract ideas and philosophies or a craft or hobby.  Our little grey cells need a daily workout and even a simple ah ha moment such as learning about the uses of lavender is meaningful. 

Learning, evaluating, experience. Ahh.

Nine Parts of Desire - a Personal Review

At last I have finished reading Geraldine Brooks’ book “Nine Parts of Desire” and rather than go over the book what I would like to do is review my reactions as I read the 12 chapters.

The first thing I realized was how truly ignorant I was about the Moslem religion.  I had read the Encyclopedia Britannica as well as Wikipedia biography of the prophet Mohammed but that was many years ago and neither article was particularly enlightening on the status of women.  The second thing I realized was that a great deal of what we hear about the religion is in fact not truly part of the teachings of the Koran but rather cultural beliefs that have been folded into the religion.  This is important to understand because a great deal of how the women are treated is not really prescribed in the Koran.

The book moves from one country to another and describes the condition of women in these countries through the voice of various women.  I learned that Iran (at the time of publishing in 1994) was the most liberal of the countries and this surprised me as I had always thought that Ayatollah Khomeini was a vicious tyrant who suppressed women.  In fact Saudi Arabia is the most fundamentalist country in the Middle East (at the time of publishing at any rate).  Brooks’ also writes about Jordan, Palestine, Iraq, Eritrea, Egypt, Syria and Turkey.

The further into the book I got the angrier I became; I mean that I was not just upset but very angry.  I was angry at the primitive thinking of both the men and the women.  Then I became angry at our Western governments for not recognizing the condition of these women whose human rights were being violated daily.  Then I wondered in bafflement at how hypocritical our governments are in using expedience as the way to work out “global or foreign policy”.  We live with so much bullshit and as always the ultimate concern is money.   That’s right, as usual everything boils down to money.

It makes me really angry because I am struggling with feelings of racism and justification that are against my upbringing and better nature.  I am watching masses of refugees flooding out of the Middle East into Europe and I am feeling threatened not only on behalf of Europeans but also for Canadians because I am seeing these refugees as economic opportunists just as the Hungarian minister said.  But as I have been reading this book another alarm has gone up in my mind and that is the question of whether these people (most of which are young men) are being sent into Europe to undermine the countries, just as some fanatics have threatened to do in Denmark. 

But now as I have finished the book I have taken time to absorb everything I have read and what I feel is that I need to know more about Islam, the Islamic state and what it means for the women in these countries.  I need to understand if these women are brainwashed into believing their religion or if they honestly believe the teachings are true and right for them.  Have they really been educated to understand what opportunities are in the world waiting for them?  I need to know what the United Nations position is on the condition of women and children in the Middle East and everywhere that Islam is the main religion.

As a woman I feel that it is utterly wrong to endorse a religion that would suppress a woman’s potential by locking her up in her house and telling her that her duty in life is to reproduce.  As part of the human race, women everywhere have a right to human rights and the human rights sanctioned by the United Nations is I believe the benchmark that the world has agreed on.  Am I correct in believing this?  Please see the link below to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights on the UN site;  the fifth paragraph clearly states equal rights for men and women.

I would encourage all of my readers to read this book and think about what is happening in the Middle East.  I think it’s time we look at this from a completely different perspective and that what needs to happen is that all nations in the world who believe that women have the same human rights as men should boycott the Middle East and all countries that adhere to fundamental Islam. 

 

Footnote:  Just to be clear, I feel the same way about any fundamental religion or culture that suppresses women, children or men.

UNITED NATIONS SITE:

http://www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/

GERALDINE BROOKS’ SITE:

http://geraldinebrooks.com/

 

Going Around and Around

During my first year in retirement my days were filled with building projects.  The daily chores were novel and not at all arduous.  Accidents did not slow me down one bit.  And then I went on vacation.  I returned in a state of “vacation” and have been unsettled ever since.

It’s not that I don’t have plenty of things to do but when I look at the To-Do-List I shudder.  I am reluctant to get started on any of the purging projects and the creative ones seem daunting.  What has gotten into my head?

I decided to take the figurative bull by the horns and tackle that blocking wall.  How?  You may well ask.  First of all I decided I should write down the list that had been piling up in my head.  Then I thought that reading light, current magazines would give me a breakthrough into the minds of women in general.  Please don’t be offended because I soon discovered that these “light” magazines were anything but light.  There is plenty of rich information in these magazines that should be of interest to a wide range of people not least of which is the articles on how to spend for less.

As I sat on the front porch warming myself up and feeling guilty for doing so Mom said “You need to give yourself time to enjoy doing nothing”.  Without me saying a word she knew what I was feeling, that old sense of guilt at not being up and doing something.  I looked at her and then asked her “how did you spend your days when we were little”?

In 1956 she had 3 children in diapers and every morning she had to boil water because they did not have hot running water in their apartment.  The water was then put in a huge tub where she washed diapers which she then hung out to dry.  She had to feed us, dress us and then take us with her when she went out to market to get the day’s groceries because they didn’t have a refrigerated.  Sometimes she baked her own bread but often she bought it at the bakery.  She had to wash the dishes after lunch, put us down for a nap (no easy task as both my sister and I were firecrackers) and then hope to goodness no one came for a visit while we napped.  Somewhere in between these tasks she also had to clean the house and I was amazed to learn that she washed the floor almost every single day.  She said that the floors were old wooden ones and that there was risk of worms if the floor wasn’t absolutely clean.  With three young children playing on the floor she simply had to get down on her hands and knees to do a thorough scrub.  She had to come up with creative recipes for making a meal with ground pork and beef as they usually had that 4 times a week.

Would you believe it, I still managed to ask “but what did you do the rest of the time”?  I was lucky Mom didn’t throw something at my head.

Sidelined Book Review

I promised to review Nine Parts of Desire this week but I must confess that I got sidetracked with another book. 

Whenever I go into Calgary I like to take a quick trip into Chapters and always head straight for the bargain books at the back.  Often popular books in hardcover get reduced after a year and that’s when I find some real treasures.  This week I happened to discover Fannie Flagg’s latest book “The All Girl Filling Station’s Last Reunion”.  How I laughed.  Fannie does it every time, creating characters who talk in such an insane way you can’t help but want to be their next best friend.

The story is another one of those back and forth stories about 1930’s Wisconsin and current Alabama.  Fritzi is a young Polish-American girl who takes up flying in the early 1930’s and along with her brother and sisters ends up in the Army during WWII.  Meanwhile Sookie is living in Alabama and trying to control her 88 year old mother.  Sookie is beyond delightful and had me in stitches at almost every page.  Fritzi had me imaging the young Gena Davis in the role.

An interesting feature of the story was the WASPs, female pilots who flew planes from the factory to their army terminals across the USA during the war.  It’s a little known part of Woman’s history and sadly these brave and talented female pilots were not recognized for their contribution to the war effort for decades.  As well there is some history around how gas stations were first introduced across the country, how they fared during the war and how they eventually died away as family businesses.

This is an easy, light read with plenty of laughs and some enlightenment along the way.  Two thumbs up for Fannie Flagg.

 

Chicken Coop Upgrade?

Since my return from my European travels I have noticed my hens have been slowing down their production which surprised me so early in their youth.  Consultation has revealed that the girls need light therapy in order to get “regular” again.  As my usual handyman (brother John) was busy elsewhere I thought “I can do this myself”. 

I had already set up the wiring for the winter heating so I thought all I needed to do was get a proper light to plug in.  First, though, I needed to remember how to set up my light timer which took about an hour of fiddling with but that was done.  I happened to notice one of the cages for an old work light and I thought this would be a good short term solution to the light problem.  Off I went to the local Home Hardware where I found what I wanted without any help from the staff.  I patiently waited in the lineup at the cash counter only to hear that the debit machine was out of order.  I didn’t have any cash with me so I had to put my purchase back.  What to do?

I headed into the next town to the new Peavy Mart and even got lucky in finding an employee right off the bat who guided me down to the electrical department.  Now something in my mind said “I need a 2 prong, not a 3 prong” but I couldn’t remember why I was thinking that.  So the young fellow told me all about the safety feature of a 3 prong plug and although I was doubtful I took the 3 prong.  Sure enough when I got everything rigged up in the coop I discovered that the timer was only able to use 2 prong plugs.  Great.  I postponed my trip another day and headed back to Peavy Mart because the price was considerably cheaper than the Home Hardware price.  This time I waffled between getting the 2 prong light fixture or the 3 prong timer.  I thought it was a great idea to have a remote control so I chose the timer.

Back home I decided to read the instructions. What instructions you may ask?  There were no instructions because all you did was plug the sucker in and hit the remote.  Well, what kind of timer was that?  I had to drag Mom out of her room to test with me and the result was that I would have to go outside the house to hit the remote at 4 a.m.  Which I did but only to discover that I could not do it from the porch, I had to walk half way to the coop before the light would go on.

I am now $50 in the hole and realize that I should have stuck with my first instinct, get the 2 prong light switch, use the old timer and remember from now on to listen to my first instinct.  A one hour operation has now turned into a 5 day event.

Who ever thought that humans had evolved to their betterment?

Talking Politics

The election is only a couple of days away and as we have been reminded time and again, it has been the longest election campaign in modern Canadian history.  There has been plenty of time for the polls to predict everyone except an alien as our next Prime Minister.  Time for every political pundit to have their say, and then some.  So are you confused yet?  It was thrilling to watch the early polls predict an NDP win but now those hopes seem to be sagging; the media has done its job in putting fear in everyone so the question will be, which “same old, same old” are we going to end up with?

Here’s what I would like to suggest for people to take a look at before they make their final decision on October 19^th.  I’d like them to take a look at the past records of both the Conservative and the Liberal parties.  Trudeau stealing the change slogan and calling a Liberal win “Real Change” is dubious at best.  The fact is both of these parties continue to get their major funding by the big corporations and the banks. 

Here are a few things to think about

·         Why are our current labour laws allowing businesses such as Walmart, Safeway, Sobey’s, Superstore and McDonalds to employ the majority of their staff for less than full time?  If you take a look at who is employed in these jobs you will see that the majority of staff are adults, not students.  These people deserve a regular, full time job with full benefits.  You don’t think these businesses can pay their staff full time salaries?  Walmart’s owners are in the top 100 wealthiest FAMILIES in the world. 

·         What do you expect to “get” for your tax dollars?  It is reasonable to expect a government to be able to maintain roads, bridges, schools, hospitals and other infrastructure with tax dollars.  It is not reasonable to expect governments to bail out corporations when they get into trouble when these same corporations continue to give out million dollar bonuses to their executives (why should they get a bonus when they’ve gotten themselves into enough trouble to need a bail out).  In the same line of thought, business that have been built up by governments (e.g.  Air Canada, Alberta Government Telephone, Manitoba Telephone System, Coop Electric Systems, etc.) should not be sold to private enterprise for pennies on the dollar. 

·         Should government use student loans as revenue?  Anyone who has had to borrow money to send their children to university or college knows how outrageous the interest rate is on these loans.  Students are in debt for decades after graduation.  The difference in the cost of education from 1970 to 2015 is out of all reason to the rate of inflation.

·         What things do you consider essential service and what do you consider “entitlement”?  As a healthy, hard working Canadian I consider I have paid enough health care premiums, EI, CPP, property taxes, income taxes and other hidden taxes over my 40 plus years to feel that I should be able to go to the doctor for any health concerns that I have now that I am “aging”.  I should expect my pension(s) to be able to ADEQUATELY see me through my old age.  What is ADEQUATE . . . it means having 3 square meals a day, a roof over my head (affordable housing for those who were not able to own their own home --- remember, those living on Walmart wages are never going to own their own home) and the essentials of life – heat and electricity being key.

·         Entitlement and entitlement.  Let’s consider how Mr. Harper and his ilk have spoken of Canadians’ idea of “entitlement” when they went on strike . . . and then let’s take a look at that (expletive curbed) Senate. Need I say more?

·         Health care, education, infrastructure, senior care – these are just some of the things that have been steadily dropping off the plates of Conservative and Liberal governments.  I haven’t even mentioned some of the other things that are important to us as Canadians, environment, immigration, foreign policy (peacekeeping vs war) to name a few.

·         Real change . . . THINK ABOUT THAT.