The Emperor's Clothes

When you attend a function do you notice the people who float by you without acknowledging you even though they are quite familiar with you?  Or the people who stop and ask how you are and then move on without hearing your answer?  Then there are the ones who give you eye contact and nod without hearing a word spoken.

       Recently I was at the World Oil & Gas Show and we wore name tags with our current position labelled on us like so much cattle.  As a project administrator I noted very quickly what my net value was in this world and that was similar to the one I inhabit at work.  Next to nil. Until they want something. Then suddenly I am “Susanne Darling”.  However Susanne Darling does not equate to Susanne Stupid.

       Fortunately for me, and I hope others take a page out of my notebook, I do not value myself according to my job.  I value myself on my own personal worth scale and no one knows me like I know myself. 

First of all, I know what my IQ is.  Tick.

Second, I know what my experiences are.  Tick

Third, I don’t care what others think of me.  Tick.

Bundled into my experiences are things like education, travel, friendships, career moves, extracurricular activities such as volunteer work, running political campaigns, writing, researching, supporting people, meeting celebrities, co-founding businesses and surviving the trials and tribulations of being a single woman in a complex world that does not acknowledge single women.  With this armour it is easy enough to sit at a table with 7 men who wait impatiently for me to leave so they can talk “guy talk”.  I can also observe with perfect phlegm the people who breeze past me acknowledging my co-worker on one side of me yet ignoring me as the Invisible One. 

And why I have this patience is because I recall the story of The Emperor’s Clothes.

Working Hard for the Money

When someone is a celebrity it looks really easy to just stand up there and sing, or act, or whatever, but these folks really do work hard behind the scenes to make things happen.  Case in point, we had a band play for us, starting at 9:30 but they were at the facility at 3 a.m. to prepare.  That’s dedication and professionalism.

       You know when your teachers and your parents tell you that things don’t come easy, that you have to work hard to get your grades, your allowance, your rewards?  They aren’t kidding.  If they are serious mentors, you should take their words of wisdom seriously. 

       Oh that’s right, I’m writing for the old, wise ones here and they know all of this.

       This is really a reality check for everyone.  Unless you are the chosen lucky few to win the lottery, nothing comes easy.  Life is a struggle every second of our life.  Some of us are blessed with happy natures, or slightly easier circumstances – or so it would appear.  But the truth is, we never know what is going on behind the scenes; be it real life drama or the prelude to a wonderful show.

       So when things are going smoothly, enjoy the ride but be prepared to brake!

Goodbye to Nora Ephron

Nora Ephron was a wonderful romantic comedy writer and one of my all time favorites is “You’ve Got Mail”.  I think Nora put all her favorite quotes and thoughts into Kathleen Kelly and she is one of the most delightful characters in romantic comedy history.  Nora also did a brilliant job in screenwriting “Julie & Julia” and Meryl Streep’s rendition of Julia Child is nothing short of amazing.  How many people have gone to the Empire State Building hoping to see a romantic pairing such as happened in “Sleepless in Seattle”?

       I envy Nora her razor sharp wit and undeniable writing ability.  It’s a sad loss her passing away yesterday.   Leafing through her last book “I Remember Nothing” makes me laugh as much as the first reading.  Here’s looking at you, kid.

Evolution vs Politics

It’s good to hear that the NDP are beating the conservatives in 6 different polls in recent weeks without even trying hard.  The conservatives just have to keep doing what they are doing and they will continue to alienate the people of this country.  Perhaps even Alberta will wake up and smell the coffee.  Issuing attack ads is just one more way to turn the voters off; most people won’t believe attack ads, it’s hard to imagine that they would try the same busted method that Mulroney’s people used back in 1993.  Didn’t they learn anything?

      I can wax enthusiastic about the gains of my party but the reality, let’s face it, is that human nature does not change very much.  From the beginning of time there are the bullies who somehow always manage to get on top and will pound the average person into the ground.  Then there will be an uprising and the people will have a small amount of relief for a short while before it starts all over again.  This is what I find so discouraging about humanity, that we simply do not seem to evolve past a certain point.

      Is that evolution?  Does it only have a certain capacity and then it simply dissipates away?

Researching a Beautiful Mind

That’s the title on my latest Alumni magazine which has inspired this thought process, what is a beautiful mind?  There is the razor sharp mind of a scientific research, the inquiring depth of a philosophical mind, the visionary beauty of an artistic mind or the driven energy of an athletic mind, to name a few types of minds.

       For me a beautiful mind is one that is interested in questioning the universe, the perceived truths and the obviousness of life.  It is a mind that loves simple natural beauty, that loves honesty, that honours friendship and that appreciates goodness.  A beautiful mind can enjoy a joke, can cry at pathos, can celebrate the victories of a normal life.

       A beautiful mind is someone just like you.

Clearing out

A friend called today and told me she’s taking a 5 week intensive course in French, in Quebec City.  How extreme is that for learning something new and challenging?  What a coincidence after my writing yesterday!       I was thinking about something a little less extreme, like learning how to grow poinsettias so they will last for 2 Christmases!

       Joking aside, it’s difficult to come up with learning something new which will keep my attention span such that I will actual keep it in the memory box.  I’ve been lecturing my mother for the last couple of days on reading something new and interesting and all the while I’m trying to block the whisper “pot calling the kettle black”.  Somehow I don’t think book learning is what I need at this point in my life.

       I’ve tried Zumba, I’ve tried line dancing, it’s time to think of something quite different, something that I am actually coordinated in.  Yes, I am thinking what I need before my mind can be nimble is to make the muscles, the body, nimble.  Exercise will bring oxygen to the brain and perhaps the little firing neurons will give me the Eureka moment.

       For the last two days Mom and I have been watching the critters sniff around the new family room.  It’s quite amusing to watch them tread cautiously around the room, looking for something familiar.  When they smell an old pillow they linger over it, pawing it and then crouching on it to ensure that it’s still theirs.  As they get closer to one of the new pieces of furniture they wait expectantly as they know one of us is going to yell “don’t touch the new furniture”.  They look puzzled, as this expression is only supposed to happen in the living room.  Why in my room, they wonder.  They are learning something new and they don’t like it one little bit.

Cobwebs of the Mind

All week I’ve been thinking about happiness, contentment, optimism and just plain life in general.  Living with an aging parent has opened up my mind to the fact of aging, really growing old and noticing how an older person thinks.  It’s not as though I hadn’t been aware of some of the obvious signs of aging, whether it was simply visiting with my mother or reading about other older persons.  But living day to day with an older person has made me think quite a lot about how one’s mind works.  I find myself thinking along similar lines with my mother when it comes to defining the rest of my life.

       What, thinking about a time line?  Yes, it is a scary idea.  I am thinking along the lines of what matters anymore because I’m going to die soon anyway. 

       Does that make you pull up short?  Me, thinking like that when I’ve always had this notion of longevity.  Can you imagine how I felt when I realized that I was doing it?  Once I realized that I was falling into the groove I began to examine the idea and although I pulled back once or twice because I was frankly terrified, I decided that this was NOT the place for me.  It’s one thing to look at downsizing and getting away from material things but it is quite another thing to get away with your personal growth and instead regress into memories and old ways.

       There is nothing more irritating to young people than to listen to what it was like in the good old days and there is nothing more narrowing than disapproving of every new invention that comes along.  I do understand that there is comfort in nostalgia but it is only healthy for an hour or so, per week, not per day.  Watching the news can be informative but not if you end up going down the same old paths each time you see another dirty rotten trick that the government has pulled on us.

       It’s time to dust out the cobwebs of the mind and learn something new and challenging.

Happiness is Productivity

Mother and I have spent the last two days working like slaves in the yard.  Yesterday we first hauled a bunch of stuff out of the family room, pending the arrival of new furniture, and then we proceeded to gather up all the garbage that had been strewn about in the garbage.  We had a bit of a setback when I heard some scurrying in the back and lo, there was  skunk hustling from one side of the garage to the other.  We then worked very carefully on only one side of the garage, fearful of getting skunked.  Once that was done, we took a break and then we began painting the lawn furniture.  At the end of it I took the recycling up to the depot and returned with ice cream sundaes.

       We sat on the deck and praised ourselves, at which point Mom said

“Happiness is feeling a sense of accomplishment.” 

I smiled.

       So much for trying to get an answer from her with penetrating, intellectual questions. 

Optimist vs Pessimist

So I had to stop in the middle of my story yesterday because I thought I would run my theory by my mother.  The next thing I knew we were transported to her youth and how she felt about being glad or unhappy.  The conversation took the usual circuitous route and ended up in several gopher holes before we got back to whether or not she thought people were either an optimist or a pessimist by nature, not by life.

      The conversation went something like this.

      “So do you think you were happy as a child despite growing up in an occupied country?”

      “I never thought about being happy.  Everything was just normal and we were all happy.  My parents were happy with each other and so were my aunts and uncles.”

      “But were they happy in themselves, not with each other”  I patiently asked.

      “There wasn’t all this divorce going on.   People married because they liked each other and didn’t just pick the first person they who asked them, thinking they could change out later if it didn’t work out.”

      “But my question is, were they happy in themselves?”

      Long pause, thinking in progress.

      “They were happy because they liked each other.”

      Now I had to think about how to get her out of this gopher hole.

      “Would you say you were happy-go-lucky rather than someone who worried about every little thing in case it would go wrong?”

      “I wouldn’t say that I was happy or thought about it at all.  I just didn’t worry.  But I was responsible.  I was always careful about not getting into trouble or breaking a leg.”

      From there the conversation drifted to her confirmation and how her self confidence grew when her father told her she was the nicest girl in the class, with the nicest dress.  Afterwards she was walking ahead of some boys from her school and she overheard them say that she was the nicest once at the confirmation.  Somehow in all of this I gathered that self confidence was part of her happiness.

Vacation Mode

June is always an unpredictable month and yet it is a lovely time of year so I decided to go out on a limb and take a week of vacation.  The plan is to work hard around the place but I have to say that the energy level just isn’t what it used to be.  When I read Richard Simmons’ blog and see what he does every single day I have to question why I can’t be more like him.  In order to get energy one must pull a little energy out by sheer willpower and build upon.  I know this simply by forcing myself on the treadmill, once the exercise is completed I definitely feel energized and ready for more.  It’s that difficult first step.

       So much of what we do is based on our brains, on how we think and the effort we put into our endeavour.  Yesterday my sister asked me “Are you happy?  Do you feel content with your life?”  I answered in the affirmative (no surprise there) but then she asked me about my friends, if I thought they were happy and fulfilled.  I had to think and consider a little while she continued to tell me that she thought most people were not.  I thought it was a very interesting observation on her part as it was obvious she had been thinking about this for quite a long time.  I think happiness can be a transient state for most people.  Perhaps a better way of looking at people is not to think whether they are happy or unhappy but rather whether they are an optimist or a pessimist.  Overall I think most people are probably pessimists but whether they are born that way or life has made them so I cannot tell.

       To be continued

Father's Day

I don’t think much about Father’s Day since my father passed away 11 years ago.  Rather I think about my father a lot, in fact it is a rare day when I don’t have some fleeting thought of him.  My father was an ebullient personality who really bubbled over with life and happiness.  As kids we looked forward to his homecoming every evening because he would always have some story to tell us about what happened at work.  He could make the worst disasters sound hilarious, such as the time his factory had a slight problem with their beef stew spilling over and running into the sewers.  They cleaned up the place but it all went into the sewer which ended up backing up into the Indian carpet store behind them, which they didn’t know about for a day or so.  When Dad discovered the problem he went over to the store owner to apologize (even though it really wasn’t their fault, it was the city sewer after all).  But when Dad offered to buy one of the carpets, cheap, the store manager practically ran him out of the store.  Only my dad would have the brass to do something like that!

       Another time my dad was strolling back from his lunch with one of his colleagues when they came across a hat shop.  There was a big sale going on so in they went to see what kind of deal they could make.  A particularly nice hat was lying in the pile of $5.00 hats.  Dad recognized it as a Borsalino and wondered if he would be able to get it for the $5.00.  he took it up to the counter and asked if it was $5.00 as it was in the bin.  The man said yes, Dad popped it on his head and even though it came down to his eyes he said “sold”.  His friend asked “what are you going to do with a hat two sizes too big?”  Dad said he didn’t know but he couldn’t leave a Borsalino in the bin! 

As chance would have it one of his partners showed up that afternoon and as he was a big fellow Dad handed him the hat and said “Happy Birthday”.  John said “How did you know it was my birthday?”  Well, Dad hadn’t known it was his birthday; it was just his way of handing him a present.  Tears rolled down his cheeks and then he got all upset as Dad took the hat away from him and began rolling it up, stamping on it and whacking it around.   Then the hat popped right back into shape.  Dad said “It’s a Borsalino, you can’t hurt it no matter what you do to it”.  Well, the poor old man was in heaven.  We laughed so hard at the story, picturing the poor man crying over his ruined hat.

Yes, I sure miss my dad, he was something else.

The New June

The tune “April Showers brings May flowers” doesn’t work in Alberta.  Instead we sing “June Showers spoil Stampede Parade . . . maybe”. 

      It does seem as though the weather swings more violently and more frequently than in past decades; or am I just getting old and find time running away on me.  When we first moved to Alberta it seemed that we were usually in a 5 to 7 year trend with weather changes but these past few years it seems as though it changes within a couple of years, but none of it for the good.  Our winters are longer and colder and summers also shorter and colder.  The other day it was 22C and people were “boiling hot”.

      Just as the weather alters so do our moods, only it is hour by hour and no longer day by day.  Our world is so fast paced that our mental processes simply cannot adjust to all the information we receive which makes us nervous due to the constant rush of adrenaline we are fed.  What do I mean?  We are inundated with information no matter where we turn, on the bus there are posters everywhere, in the elevator there is a TV screen with moving news, our work is filled with emails, instant messages and what have you.  When we get home the radio or television pours news at us by the second.  And I’m not even taking into account the tremendous commutes we all have. 

      When was the last time you spent calm quality time?  I hope it was some time this week but I suspect not.  So when you find yourself having a wild mood swing, think about the poem “April Showers” and make up your own rhyme . . . maybe that will bring the pendulum back for you.

Dog House

I watched “Hugo” the other day and had such pangs of my long lost youth and the days when I could imagine everything under the sun had the potential for magic.  I have such admiration for writers like J.R. Rowlings who can imagine a whole world of adventure for her characters and keep them going into 7 volumes.  These days I struggle to write a couple of paragraphs simply to keep my juices flowing.

       It’s not all excuses that stop the creativity; it’s not just the outdoors beckoning me; I have all these frightful doubts; but most of all, I fear the imagination isn’t what it used to be.

       My friends and family will gasp in amazement because there is no one quicker to come up with a dubious scenario when an odd event occurs.  Who can forget the drama I created in my head as I stood outside a building waiting for the bus and decided that I was observing a crime “go down” when a poor innocent police officer went into the building putting on his plastic gloves (in the July heat, let it be noted)?  Yes, I had a whole plot unfold in my mind to such an extent that I had to move out of the certain line of fire as he would come out of the building, guns ablazing!  I’m very adept at coming up with scenes like that in my head, but try putting that on paper and keeping the story going.  That’s a different kettle of fish.

       Currently I have created a story involving my incredible critters when they go out each morning to their Hunting Lodge (also known as the great woodpile “a fire waiting to happen” as someone rudely described it).  While Thumper heads into the inner chamber to beat the bushes, Cherie mans the fort to ensure that no little mouse, mole or varmint escapes into the field beyond.  The leftovers are brought home to Mama and I for special admiration (and to ensure that they can come back inside for dessert).  These inventive little fellows have come up with the ultimate in good cop/bad cop and my mother is falling for it hook, line and sinker.  First she takes Thumper’s side and then she quickly rescues Cherie while Thumper hides under the bed.  They have her charmed. 

Pretty soon I will be completely out of the limelight – I see it all now.  I’m going to have to do something about that.

Oh, did I forget to start the story with the truth – I’m in the dog house because I forgot to give Mom the key when she went out.  Ooops.

Planting Trees

My brother and I have spent the last two evenings planting trees.  It is a satisfying thing to bring nature to life which so many of us are able to do by nurturing our gardens.  There are few things as beautiful as a flourishing green garden with the scent of flowers wafting about as one walks along the grass or sidewalk.

      In the way we carefully plant things then weed around the growing things we create something beautiful.  In the same way we ought to take care of what we plant in our minds and what we pull out of it.  Today I saw one of those little elevator blurbs that said the movie industry would earn something like $100 billion this year.  Imagine how much money we spend on entertainment.  It seems incredible and my thought was that we really do over indulge ourselves with some very unfruitful things.

      Now I do love the movies, when they are good quality entertainment, but think about how much of our time is spent with television, watching goodness knows what when instead we could be creating something, or working, or even simply talking with our family or friends.  It is a little benumbing to be in front of a television or computer or on a cell phone playing games for hours every day.  The other day we talked about living in another age, if we happened to be one of the rich folk like those on Downton Abbey, but our lot would more likely be that of a servant.  Think of what their lives were like, the lives of our grandmothers would have been similar, washing clothes by hand, making their own bread and preserves, brooming carpets rather than vacuuming them (if they even had a carpet).  Today we moan about working 8 hours a day, 5 days a week and then we go home numb.  Only think how very good we must have it if we can spend so much money on Entertainment.

      We are richer than we think.

Relaxing

It’s a well known fact that I can relax with the best of them.  I can lounge in a good seat, drink coffee and chat about anything.  In the winter time.  Come the summer and the good weather and it is very hard for me to sit still when there is so much to do outdoors.  I don’t know how to lounge in a lawn chair or hammock when there is grass to cut, dead branches to haul away, flowers to weed, water or plant.  I will sit down for a coffee with Mom on the deck, chat for a few minutes, and something will catch my eye and until it looks right I cannot concentrate.  I have to get at it. 

       So how can a person relax one’s mind?  Meditation they tell us can calm a person’s mind down to a low roar.  There are a variety of ways one may meditate to bring about a state of consciousness in the immediate.  There is also a practice of simply staying quiet, thinking about a certain calming topic and slowly having the mind stay quiet.  By practicing some sort of quiet state, whether you call it meditation, can certainly help with learning to relax.  Relaxing is not a bad thing but it is astonishing to realize that most people have a difficult time with simply being quiet, and Relaxing.  I say this because I observe how frequently people relate how busy their weekend was, their evenings are, or how they squeeze every minute of their vacation into “doing something”. 

       I like to be quiet and there are few things I enjoy more than walking on a nice day, summer or winter and taking in the beauty of the countryside while I think my thoughts.  Next time you are contemplating a trip to the mall, ask yourself if a walk in the park wouldn’t be a better choice.  Slow down, relax, and meditate.  It’s all good.

Power

Many years ago Michael Korda wrote a book called “Power” which was all the rage in the business world.  It’s a very fascinating look at how people look at power, gain power and wield power.  Some of his anecdotes are particularly funny, like the one about the man who sawed the legs off the visitor chairs in his office so that he would look bigger and more threatening.

      Power is a curious thing and it is quite amazing to consider it in terms of who has it and who handles it well.  Thinking about power on a global scale I question whether any of our governing authorities handles power well, considering the state of the world.  I believe that the more perceived power one has the more oblivious that individual becomes to the people around them.  In effect, they become desensitized to those with less power.  For example, I read an article about how generals think in terms of battle.  The think in terms of numbers lost, not in terms of human casualty.  It’s easier for them to think “we are going to lose 200” rather than “200 young men and women are going to die as a result of this maneuver”.   

      Reading one man’s statement that he wanted to be president and asserts that every man wants the same I thought “really, they do?”  Why?  It is for the power and not because they want to make the world a better place.  On progressively smaller scales the power is less about subjugating others than about gaining money and more power.  An example would be how our appointed public officers grant themselves raises and bonuses, such as our health boards and city utilities board.

There are whole books written about power as theory but the bottom line is whether a person wants power for the sake of authority over others or power for the sake of change (preferably to the good). 

Mood Influencing Thought

There is a real challenge in writing a daily blog (evidence being I have missed days over the last couple of months, here and there).  This morning I pulled out a volume from the office book shelf “Ten Eternal Questions” with the hope of finding something to inspire me to write.  Naturally there are observations in there to which I could respond positively or negatively as the mood strikes me, which thought turned me to my idea for the day.

          Do you ever find yourself being contrary about whatever suggestion is brought forth, just because you are in that sort of mood?  Everyone agrees that it is a beautiful day and the sky is extraordinarily blue and you just have to say “it’s much nicer in Ecuador” or some other idiotic comment?  Do you ever find yourself saying something contrary to whatever you normally would agree with, or perhaps you’ve never thought about the topic, render an opinion that hasn’t been thought out and later having to contradict yourself?

          Extreme examples but I was reading Robert Fisk’s comment on whether the planet would be destroyed and I could tell he was looking at the question from a completely different point of view from the others who had commented on the question.  He thought that the demise of the planet is a question used to frighten people.  Perhaps that is so, but that isn’t actually answering the question, is it?  Then I thought, was he in a mood?  I know for a fact that if my sister raises the topic of Aliens it’s a guaranteed flag for me to move to the opposing ground.  Just because.  It’s become something of a game.

          Today it’s grey and rainy and I am in a mood.  Not negative, not down, but just the kind of mood that would probably disagree with Mom making hot chocolate or soup with 2 kinds of “boller” (meatballs and dumplings).  So next time you are having a conversation, observe yourself to see if you are in “a mood” or if you are simply going with the flow.  Ask yourself “is this really what I believe, or am I being contrary, just because”.  It would be interesting to know how many quotes were genuine or a mood answer.

Roll Out the Barrel . . . of fun

I’ve noticed over the years that it almost never rains on my birthday but afterwards it seems like June gets very wet.  I actually enjoy a nice summer rain, when it’s warm.  The cold rain, I don’t like so much.  It’s seems early in the season to get tornado warnings and I was surprised to hear that even Ontario got some warnings this week.  Despite the unpredictability of early summer, is there really anything better than summer time?

      I remember as a young girl visiting a friend whose grandmother was staying for a visit.  Her grandmother was very young and full of fun.  It sounds corny, and it was corny, but she had a ukulele which she twanged away on and sang these old camp songs that I had never heard before, including “roll out the barrel, let’s have a barrel of fun”.  I never hear that song without thinking of Heidi’s grandmother.  Another friend’s mother was one of our Girl Guide leaders and I remember her singing a naughty song at my one and only camp out “Beans, beans, oh the magical beans . . .” 

      Music seems to be more in evidence during the summer time, probably because when a person is skiing they are thinking about not breaking their legs rather than singing in key as they fly down the slopes.  My red face and sweaty hair to the contrary, summer is usually a time for more leisurely activities such as lying on a lawn chair catching the sunshine, or walking through a park, or even hiking; all of which activities can include some music.  In any event, a lot of my summer time memories include songs of one sort or another.

      So what’s your favorite summer time tunes?

A prisoner of Prison Break

Yes, my mother has me addicted to this show, so much so that I am chained to the sofa every evening for at least 2 installments per night.  Seriously though, would a genius have to tattoo the name of the ship he ordered built, particularly since he named it after his mother?  Would he have to tattoo down the name of the place he was escaping to?  I am pretty darn sure that I would remember the city I was planning on going to considering that I still remember the escape town my dad gave us when I was a mere 14 years old . . . and that is 55 years ago.  So why are I am enthralled with a show that still has so many flaws in it?  I suppose it is the suspense, even though I know they aren’t going to get killed any time soon (there’s still 2 more seasons after all).  But as my mother also mentioned the other day, after a while we get a little sick and tense from anger and apprehension we are feeling as the show progresses.  And this is only fantasy.

       Which brings me to the topic of the day:  it’s one thing to watch or read fantasy, it’s quite something else to watch the real thing.  I am not the best person to make an analysis of people’s fascination with reality because I am one of the very few people who absolutely will NOT rubberneck at an accident scene.  The last thing I want to see is blood or mayhem.  I cannot watch “live” bad behaviour such as displayed on Survivor or like reality shows.  I can’t even watch make believe when they do surgery on Grey’s Anatomy.

       Despite me being a wimp about things like this, can those with a tougher stomach actually understand people who watch what would seem to be live action of a murder?  This I cannot understand.  I am referring to the horrific story that has been unfolding over the last week out of Montreal.  I think they are giving out more than enough information on the radio and as I drive to and from work I ask the radio “do we really need to know so much detail?”.  It’s bad enough that we know about the hand and the foot, but now they are speculating about whether the head is going to show up somewhere.  Honestly, do I really need to have this information?

       I might sound a bit like a Pollyanna, but sometimes I think the details are just (pardon the cliché) over-kill.  The more the media gives us the more it desensitizes the public and I do not think that is a good thing.  I prefer to think of us as civilized.  Tell us a crime has been committed.  Tell us it was horrific.  But leave the details to the courts.  Our imaginations can do enough for us.

       Or am I just sticking my head in the sand?

Mom Makes Me Laugh

A few weeks ago my mother told me a story about her father that I had never heard before.  He wasn’t much for going to church even when he was young but one day he reluctantly attended.  He was sitting in the pew when some people wanted to get past him so as he rose up he lifted the whole bench up with him knocking some ladies off their seats.  Then he muttered under his breath “I thought I was in the theatre” which made me laugh so hard as I pictured him saying this (in Danish, with a few sprinkled curse words).  He was more accustomed to being in a theatre than in a church!  Then last night Mom let out the same exclamation as she tipped back her chair to watch the show.  We both cracked up laughing. 

      I am so enjoying having my mother live with me, not just for the fabulous perks of home cooking and housecleaning, but because little stories come out at unexpected times.  Of course there are lots of anecdotes that I’ve heard before but every once in a while a fresh story comes out that I never knew before (or couldn’t remember).  This is where the tape recorder and video camera should come in handy but it’s like when your critter does some amazing stunt – the equipment is never there when you need it!  As we become more mature (not to say Older) we savour anecdotes much more than when we were youngsters.  It’s also easier to see where all our personal quirks come from when we hear how our grandmother or great grandfather conducted themselves in a certain situation.  I particularly like the story about my great grandmother who was fond of stating quite firmly that she stood on her rights, whether she had them or not.  The apple doesn’t fall far from the Tree!

Intense Feelings

Watching this crime show “Prison Break” we wonder aloud if people can really be that mean, cruel and double crossing as the show displays.  At the same time, we wonder how the good guys continue to make the mistake of trusting people.  Don’t they know that it is inevitable that the crooks will always stay crooks and there will never be any loyalty amount thieves (read crooks)?

       So I suppose we answer our own questions!

       On the one hand I do believe that “from people, expect the worst” but at the same time, I truly believe that good will always triumph in the end, even if it means only to the person who does the good.  This is part of my dual nature I suppose.  Usually though, I do find people in real life tend to be decent and honest and inclined to do the right thing.  I suppose I am fortunate to be in a circle that behaves in such a way, whether it is my friends or my colleagues.  In fact, I haven’t crossed paths with many rapscallions in my lifetime and that, as Martha says “is a good thing”.

       I also have  a good though wicked sense of humour.  I told Mom that if it was me in the car with Linc and Michael I would have tossed the father’s body out into the road and continued driving towards the plane.  Mom couldn’t stop laughing.  But it’s quite true, I don’t find a dead body very sacred.  That made her laugh even more.  I’m kind of practical when it comes to life and death.  Once you’re dead, you are dead and the body doesn’t mean anything.  Here are these desperate criminals burying their father with rocks (give me a break, do you know how long it takes to lug all those rocks to cover a body?  A LONG TIME) when time is of the essence.  And don’t they realize that the shot Mexican is going to hand them over the first chance they have?  Good grief . . . Americans and their funerals!

Spring makes way for Summer

The trees are all in full leaf now and some have even flowered and gone on to the fruit stage.  It’s wonderful to feel the power of summer coming on.  This is the time of year when I really miss being a student because this is when the 2 month summer vacation is coming on.  Yesterday I was busy in the yard cutting grass and ended up almost crippling myself with the vigour of my work.  That’s because I feel the press of time to get things done before the work week begins all over again.

       It’s also because I have been watching the first 2 seasons of “Prison Break” and I am finding them so intense that I have to work off my steam.  My mother has me hooked on this old series but even she said the other night that she is finding herself getting all nervous inside because we are watching too many episodes at once.  Each episode is “edge of your seat” suspense and a person can only take so much before they crack under the pressure!  There are no commercial breaks so we can’t talk about what is going on until the end of the 45 minute episode except to say “oh come on, not again” when someone is injured or the wicked guys find them too soon.  Fortunately it’s the work-a-day world for me tomorrow so I can decompress from too much of a good thing.

       So if you are wondering what’s going on with the blog, it’s my mother holding me back by forcing me to watch “her show”.  J

On Another Note

Remember a couple of weeks ago how I wrote about living in the moment?  So here we are 14 days ahead and what am I doing?  Thinking about the future!

      How do we stop ingrained habits?  It is extremely difficult to change physical bad habits but even harder to change mental habits. The mind is like a record that slips into the existing grooves of thought.  Some of the things I’ve done to attempt to change my mental habits has been simply reading and recognizing myself.  When I read almost anything I will find nuggets of information and these nuggets will make me think about myself and life in general.  It’s almost always a slow process of making discoveries, recognizing them in myself and then working towards undoing negative or unproductive thought habits.

      Sounds vague?  Here’s an example.  Quite a few years ago I read “The Four Agreements” and the biggest impact was the statement that when people are negative or mean it is “their poison”, not yours.  I have had occasion to recall this philosophy many times and slowly it has helped me to not take things personally.  For sure my initial reaction when someone is being mean is to take offense but I’ve noticed that each time I have thought about the poison.  Now it is almost the first thing I think about rather than brood over it until resolving it at the end of the day.  Now that is a release of negative energy!

      I thinking about mental habits today because I saw an example of how not making serious attempts at change can have dire consequences.  When we are told that we have a problem, when we are instructed to seek counselling, it behooves us to take this seriously rather than to only pay lip service to the advice.  We live and work in a professional world, whether we want to believe it or not, whether we work at Walmart or government offices, and as individuals we should behave in a professional manner. 

I notice on the train such different levels of conduct that it makes me think “it takes all kinds to make a world” and yet I can see the serious individuals who probably bring a high level of professionalism to their work because they are still professional when they get on the bus.  They move down into the centre of the train because they work as a team which means others will be affected by what they do.  Then there are those who stop at the first handle and refuse to budge and do not care that people are left standing on the platform to wait for the next train.  I look at them with my penetrating eyes, some look away but others will attempt to stare me down.  But all get the message yet still refuse to budge.

We live in a selfish world and there are many people who will never change.  Philistines!