The biggest bonus in the characteristics
department has got to be the ability to laugh at one’s self. If we didn’t have a sense of humour we would
be in serious trouble most of the day.
Now why would I say this on such a holy day as Sunday.
Because it started out virtuous.
In the big scheme that I call my
retirement planning I have decided that this winter I am going to study
theology. What better way than to tackle
C.S. Lewis’ “Fern-seed and Elephants”, a nice little book on various theological
themes. I ripped right through the book
and felt particularly pleased with his chapter on Forgiveness. I was all right with the world when I stepped
into my car. The sun was shining, the
wind was minimal and I was smiling. Then
I hit the highway; still smiling but soon my lips were gripped firmly between
my clenched teeth. Within ten minutes
choice words exploded and immediately I felt remorseful but three seconds later
another car cut me off and the tranquil morning disintegrated to me wondering
where half the drivers got their licenses.
Naturally I started laughing at myself
as I realized how unholy I really was.
Before you get too judgmental on me, let me tell you that I was fully
aware from the minute I hit the highway that I was going to be tested and that
I was going to fail. Furthermore, I was
not really experiencing road rage, I was simply wondering why people would feel
an urgency to get anywhere at 10 on a Saturday morning. It’s not like I wasn’t going the speed limit
and I was in the “slower lane keep right” lane.
However, people have their own sense of what is important to them and
inside my car I am allowed to observe whatever I like. I didn’t honk the horn, I didn’t give anyone the
finger, I merely wondered in a rather explosive sort of way, but that’s my way.
Driving is one of the most common tasks
we perform almost every day so it’s a time when we should be fully aware of
what we are doing and how we are affecting other people. I cannot fix other people’s bad habits even
though I can honk at them when they cut in front of me without signalling. They just think I am a jerk because of course
they have a right to do whatever they want and it’s fun to keep other people on
the road guessing as to what your intentions are, right? (Even when I am trying to be
kind I cannot curb my sarcasm, sorry.) Seriously, we cannot be our brother’s keeper
when we are out and about in society. We
can only be mindful of how we conduct ourselves if we care about such things.
So, do we care about how we conduct
ourselves? This is what I am wondering
as I read Lewis’ book. I took down my
old confirmation text and browsed through it which took me back to my 13 year
old self and how I questioned so many pieces of the catechism. I thought that it would be good to get a 62
year old perspective of what I learned when I was a child. And let me tell you that I found myself
startled at the questions I had about myself, my religion and my “relationship
with God”. How quickly I found myself
back in my young mind, asking the same questions about the trinity and about my
day to day life in relation to “what Jesus wants us to be”.
As part of the 6 pieces of pie used to
outline aspects of retirement (finance, physical, mental, spiritual, social,
active) I am taking year two to explore spirituality and Phase One, religion,
is very inspiring. My little grey cells
are working overtime.
But I’m still smiling.
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