Sunday, November 1, 2015

Irony in Big Things and Small


The biggest bonus in the characteristics department has got to be the ability to laugh at one’s self.  If we didn’t have a sense of humour we would be in serious trouble most of the day.  Now why would I say this on such a holy day as Sunday.
Because it started out virtuous.
In the big scheme that I call my retirement planning I have decided that this winter I am going to study theology.  What better way than to tackle C.S. Lewis’ “Fern-seed and Elephants”, a nice little book on various theological themes.  I ripped right through the book and felt particularly pleased with his chapter on Forgiveness.  I was all right with the world when I stepped into my car.  The sun was shining, the wind was minimal and I was smiling.  Then I hit the highway; still smiling but soon my lips were gripped firmly between my clenched teeth.  Within ten minutes choice words exploded and immediately I felt remorseful but three seconds later another car cut me off and the tranquil morning disintegrated to me wondering where half the drivers got their licenses.
Naturally I started laughing at myself as I realized how unholy I really was.  Before you get too judgmental on me, let me tell you that I was fully aware from the minute I hit the highway that I was going to be tested and that I was going to fail.  Furthermore, I was not really experiencing road rage, I was simply wondering why people would feel an urgency to get anywhere at 10 on a Saturday morning.  It’s not like I wasn’t going the speed limit and I was in the “slower lane keep right” lane.  However, people have their own sense of what is important to them and inside my car I am allowed to observe whatever I like.  I didn’t honk the horn, I didn’t give anyone the finger, I merely wondered in a rather explosive sort of way, but that’s my way.
Driving is one of the most common tasks we perform almost every day so it’s a time when we should be fully aware of what we are doing and how we are affecting other people.  I cannot fix other people’s bad habits even though I can honk at them when they cut in front of me without signalling.  They just think I am a jerk because of course they have a right to do whatever they want and it’s fun to keep other people on the road guessing as to what your intentions are, right?  (Even when I am trying to be kind I cannot curb my sarcasm, sorry.)  Seriously, we cannot be our brother’s keeper when we are out and about in society.  We can only be mindful of how we conduct ourselves if we care about such things.
So, do we care about how we conduct ourselves?  This is what I am wondering as I read Lewis’ book.  I took down my old confirmation text and browsed through it which took me back to my 13 year old self and how I questioned so many pieces of the catechism.  I thought that it would be good to get a 62 year old perspective of what I learned when I was a child.  And let me tell you that I found myself startled at the questions I had about myself, my religion and my “relationship with God”.  How quickly I found myself back in my young mind, asking the same questions about the trinity and about my day to day life in relation to “what Jesus wants us to be”. 
As part of the 6 pieces of pie used to outline aspects of retirement (finance, physical, mental, spiritual, social, active) I am taking year two to explore spirituality and Phase One, religion, is very inspiring.  My little grey cells are working overtime.
But I’m still smiling.

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