It appears that my readers would
like me to abase myself through my diary much to my chagrin. I would so much rather rant about what is
happening in the world but I yield “to my public” (she says
tongue-in-cheek). Actually it will be
kind of fun to look through my early diary (notice that I have always called it
a diary and not the more pretentious “journal”) and poke fun at myself. And of course, it is an appeasement to my
siblings!
Second entry:
June 21, 1969 Today, after
thinking for a long, long time about it, I decided I couldn’t and wouldn’t
become a doctor. For a long time I
realized it wouldn’t work but I am afraid to tell my father. I think the whole world is mixed up. I have so many ambitions and so little
talents. I’m all confused but sooner or
later I’ll have fixed everything up. Not
just in my mind but for real. It’s hard
to put down what you really want to say.
I guess this is gig to be the kookiest diary anybody ever wrote.
I should comment on this with the
fact that at the age of 7 I said to my parents I wanted to be a nurse but my
Mom said “no, you will have to wipe old people’s bums” (the same story her
father told her sister to stop her from becoming a nurse) and Dad said “Sanne,
you are so smart you can be a doctor rather than a nurse”. So from that time I was focused on pleasing
my Dad and always wrote on my papers that I wanted to be a doctor. It certainly was never a passion for me but I
wasn’t opposed to the idea until I got half way through high school. It didn’t help that with all the high school
moves my math was suffering to a great extent.
I was really feeling demoralized.
You will have to wait for a while before I finally break down and tell
my father. J
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