Social Longevity

As one approaches retirement it is essential to consider the social ramifications.  What do I mean by that?  Once a person leaves the workplace social interaction is cut by 80%; that is to say that currently, while one is working 80% of our time is spent at the workplace.  What will you do with that time when you are no longer working?

In preparing for retirement it seems to me that it is important to know what you are going to do with that time by way of interacting with people.  If you don’t have a wide circle of family and friends, if you don’t attend church regularly, where are you going to meet people?

If you do have friends it is equally important to keep that connection strong.  It is so easy to excuse lapses of the social graces by saying “family crisis”, “too busy”, “other commitments” and the like but then you are suddenly, a few years down the road, finding yourself cut off from the friends you used to have.  Those friends have moved on, built strong relationships, and there you are wondering why no one calls!  Sure we all have busy lives and with our parents aging we have commitments that can put some stress on us.  We also may have boomerang children who are home again and that is putting pressure on us.  But in between this stress and that pressure, remember who your friends are.  Friends are the ones who help ease the stress and the pressure.  They are the ones that make you laugh, have a strong shoulder to cry on, and lend a sympathetic ear.

I’ve been watching “Cranford” and so enjoy the way the ladies of the town show their friendship to each other.  It is charming.  Is there any reason why we cannot extend that kind of friendship today?  When you see how the ladies struggle with poverty, the social restrictions of how to respond in courtship and so on our own troubles diminish in comparison.  Okay, so Grandpa Riley is running down the street in his pajamas and granddaughter Lulu just threw up on the brand new carpet (why did you buy white carpet?) but seriously, why are these dilemmas any worse than Miss Matty having to open up a teashop in her home when she is destitute?  Her dear friends, who hardly have much more than her, support her by purchasing a pound of green tea (even though it’s known to be bad for the digestion).  It’s the support that I find so endearing, and the delicate way the support is given.

I feel very fortunate in having friends who extend their support in sundry ways; like telephoning me after seeing a pitiful email that starts “Woe is me” or sending me a special card through the mail (yes, I still have friends who are old fashioned enough to know where the post office is located).  I get messages on my voice mail, I have notes on Facebook.  I am one of the lucky ones.  Friendship is a little bit like work, because one has to keep up one’s end of the deal.

Next time you are wondering why no one is calling, ask yourself “When was the last time I made the effort?”  A friend is only a phone call away.