Car Pool Talk

Usually our car pool talk is based around work such as diet, drivers, holidays and other general topics.  Yesterday though we ran the gamut of homework for elementary school students,  evolution, abortion,  and homosexuality.  It’s interesting to hear other people’s opinions and I wonder why I am usually so far out in left field from others’ ideas.

            We talked about the young boy who committed suicide in Ottawa earlier this week.  I expressed my surprise that high school students in Ottawa would be mean to kids who were gay since there is so much exposure to homosexuality these days.  I suppose I fail to see the weakness of students’ sense of security with their own identities therefore they must taunt others to feel great about themselves.  I say with tongue in cheek.  We went on to talk about kids in grade 6 who call their classmates he/she or she/he if they are enjoying things perceived to be pursuits outside their gender.  I was shocked.  I was shocked that 11 year olds are defining “sports” as boy pursuits and “art” as girl pursuits.  So if an 11 year old girl likes to run, jump or play baseball she is gay?  If a boy likes to draw he is gay?  I look back at my grade 6 class and all the girls liked to run around and throw balls in the summer time.  A lot of the boys were really great in art class.  No one thought anything about it. 

            I was even more shocked that the mother thought it was okay that the kids were saying he/she or she/he and assuming the subjected child wasn’t hurt by it.  Of course the child would be hurt so why isn’t she stopping her son from saying such a thing?  I didn’t ask that question but I was thinking it. Can’t she see that if she doesn’t explain that it’s wrong to say things like that it will escalate into high school taunting that leads to suicide?  I shake my head in wonder.

            From there we moved on to “coming out of the closet”.  The rest of the car thought gay people should come out into the open on the assumption that they would be happier.  My thought was if the (adult) gay person doesn’t want to “come out of the closet” it is their business.  More specifically what I meant by that is that maybe the person is out of the closet in the sense that they aren’t hiding it from their family and friends but they don’t necessarily have to advertise the fact at their place of work if they don’t want to.  I really don’t think it is my business to know if one of my colleagues is gay or not.  I don’t care to know that any more than I care to know if they are married or not.  I want to make it clear that I am not saying they should suppress it, I am simply saying it isn’t other people’s business to push anyone for “information” that will boil down to gossip.  I regard it on the same level as when people ask me why I am single.  Who cares?

            Then we went on to abortions because the car was getting heated over the above topic.  Surprsing opinions here also.  One should have an abortion if health is an issue, if one is raped.  Not for birth control.  If a 14 year old gets pregnant she should “take responsibility for her actions”!  Are you from the 16^th century?  I was surprised.  Let’s just sew a scarlet letter on her clothes while we are at it.  Better yet, let’s tattoo it on her forehead now that we are in the 21^st century.  I expressed my opinion that statistically I was confident that women with multiple abortions were in the extreme minority and therefore not used as a form of birth control.  Apparently because one knows of one woman’s friend’s friend who had two it means it is widespread.  Hmmm. 

            What about the cost of the 14 year old having the child, going on social welfare and perhaps the child also ending up in that pattern?  What about her lost opportunities because she made a mistake?  Please don’t get into the arena of “a fetus is a human being”, that isn’t the point of this discussion.  The point is how people think about punishing someone for mistakes.  Be high and mighty because you never got caught in that predicament and are 40 years old.  Be righteous because you are now a devoted mother and couldn’t dream how it would have been if your precious little Johnny had been destroyed in the womb.  This should not be an emotional debate, it should be logical and sympathetic to the person in the world already.

            Now I have very decided opinions and I don’t back down.  Hence, the swinging away from the topics because we were always so far apart in our opinions.  I don’t get mad at people for not agreeing with me.  I just wonder what rock they crawled out from under.

            And yes, I like to have the last word.