Saturday with sluggish rain announces the arrival of fall’s cool weather. I can feel myself going into nesting mode and saying goodbye to summer fun. I actually love this time of year when other people are becoming even more hectic I go into mellow mode. I enjoy that introspective state when I can once again explore my mind as well as those around me.
Yesterday a friend and I were having a discussion about this very topic. We concluded that many people never take that time to “excavate their authentic selves”, to quote Sarah Ban Breathnach. I’ve done this most of my life and since I started writing my book I am trying to come up with ultimate conclusions (not very successfully). I feel like an archaeologist who has all these rocks piled around her but has yet to find the mother lode of truth. Over here lies a pile of childhood recollections, and under this pile of home life lies my unsuccessful romances. Work experiences are flung amongst my legal adventures but nowhere am I finding that nugget or treasure that is telling me who I am or how I got this personality!
My experience with this digging leads me to the same conclusion that I’ve had many times in the past when I have worked on figuring out things, that I cannot be objective about who I am. You know how you can talk about somebody else and say “they don’t see themselves”? Well, trust me, I do see myself but seeing myself and figuring out why I tick the way I do, that’s a different story.
I’ve mentioned before that when I’ve been in sessions where they ask me to list my long and short term goals I go numb. Same thing here. If I am experiencing this I am sure many others have gone through the same sort of thing.
So here’s an observation, while I am going through all of my work I pick up the latest Oprah who writes in her “What I Know for Sure” column that ultimately she is a teacher. No kidding Sherlock, you think we haven’t noticed how frequently you take your guest’s words and turn it into your soapbox? I love you Oprah, but seriously, this was a revelation to you? And even while I was reading the article I was thinking “how weird and timely, when I am working on something, the universe sends me tools to go on with my work – this must mean I’m supposed to be doing this.” How appropriate that it should be Oprah who has sent me this encouragement.
I’m Living My Best Life!
This is so true for all of us, Sanne. Discovering the source of our zaniness, uncovering our purpose and identifying our contributions to life is what living is all about. There is no one source of causation for one's identity. We are a multitude of complex characteristics that just "is" and I think that's what makes us so unique and perplexing. A scientific approach will only get you so far; the rest is simply part of life's mystery.
ReplyDeletePS - I love this time of the year too! Let the nesting commence!