I've Got Your Back

Yesterday afternoon a girlfriend reminded me that she had my back.  I thought it was darling of her to say that.  This morning I was thinking about it some more and I realize how many people do have my back, and I hope that I have theirs. 

       So I was reading my friends on Facebook while I had my coffee and toast and I recognize that all of us are happy, reaching out in a gentle way to the universe that is our people and just hoping that someone gets us.  I don’t think any of us realize exactly what we are doing, except we are trying to make a connection, allowing ourselves to express ourselves and simply being human in a very nice way.  Yes, “I am feeling the love, man” in feel all mushy and sentimental inside and yet it is very real.  Say what you will about Facebook, social media, but I am truly grateful to have this way of connecting with my friends and family, far and wide. 

       One of my friends was having a really bad day a while back and that reminded me of a book I have read a couple of times already.  The Four Agreements is a terrific little book with some obvious wisdom that we too seldom use to calm ourselves down.  It was Ellen DeGeneres who first mentioned it in an O magazine almost 10 years ago now and I am so glad that I read it and have passed it on to many of my friends.  Negative and nasty people can easily ruin a person’s day if we allow it, but if you simply pull out the little mantra “it’s their poison” and believe it, well, it cools your anger amazingly.

       So how does all this cover your back?  Because I like you, I will always fight to be fair, and if you are my friend, trust me, I will be there for you.

       We don’t really say it often enough to our friends, but I have your back!

Sleepless Nights

One of the hard things about travelling is the sleepless nights before the trip and often during the trip.  Usually I can fall asleep almost before my head hits the pillow but as the time approaches to leave I find myself getting anxious about what I may forget (like my passport), whether there will be an accident on Deerfoot as we head to the airport, currently, will there be more wildcat strikes to delay us or ground us.  And on top of that, where do I park my car, what cab company do I use, will the flight be cancelled while I am enroute.  I have a headache already, thinking about what may go wrong.

        That’s the trouble with having “long sight,” we anticipate more than what could ever possibly go wrong unless your name is Martin Short in “Pure Luck” mode.  The good part about it is being able to fantasize about what could be great in one’s life.  I can envision winning the 6/49 lottery one of these days and all the good things that would transpire with that happening.

        The curious thing about Facebook or the Google blogger is that whenever I write about certain things the advertising on my Facebook changes.  I expect to see “lottery” stuff now that I am launching this blog.  If I write about NYC I suddenly have a lot of New York stuff on the advertising page.  If it’s about diet . . . you get the drift.  Apparently these systems have a mechanism to catch phrases that will linkup to advertising.  Imagine what else these things link up to. Big Brother is watching.  It is kind of a creepy, I have to admit.  Whenever I write about political items I expect to have someone come knocking at my door, or worse, not knock and just barge in, rough me up and send me to jail without due process.  Fortunately so far I haven’t said anything too wild to bring them calling but you just never know.  As I say, creepy.

        I didn’t get much sleep last night so if this is a little disconnected there is a valid reason for it; and no, I am not paranoid.  Weird stuff does happen but somehow the Universe seems to have protected me from the worst of it.

I'm Leaving . . . on a Jet Plane (I Hope)

I’m scheduled to head off to NYC mid-week and while I haul out my suitcase(s) I worry about whether I will leave on time, that my luggage will arrive with me and after that all I need worry about is whether I will be able to get everything in my suitcase that I buy and will it get back with me.  My one solution that is within my control is to put all my best buys in my hand luggage and pray for the rest.

       Yes, I am going back to the Big Apple and am really excited to spend an extra day there simply site seeing with my friend.  There is so much to see so we have decided that for our first venture we will do the hop-on hop-off bus tour and we will take a trek down Museum Mile.  I don’t think we will have a chance to see much more than that and we want to leave space for impulse touring.  I’ve noticed if you plan too much in advance you only get frustrated, what was it Michael J. Fox said in The American President, his plans are “soft”.  That’s us, our plans are elastic.  Our one big commitment is going to Broadway to see “Wicked” which I am sure will be a thrill of a lifetime for me.

       When I was a teenager I dreamed about going to NYC to live, as did most young girls then and now.  To finally be going back to NYC makes me feel very sophisticated.  I honestly think that everyone should experience NYC at least once.  I still cannot get over how clean it was, how friendly the people were and how fabulous everything looked.  It had style.  It had action.  It had EVERYTHING.

       Everything but a Danish bakery.

Life 101

In high school we had a weekly class called “Guidance” and when I try to recall what was taught in those classes I essentially come up blank.  Whatever the teacher was trying to convey to us obviously was dry as paint and did not stick in my mind at all, and I was the type of student who actually paid attention in class.  Today they call it “Life Skills” but when I asked my nieces and nephews what they are learning in that class I raise an eyebrow and shake my head.  Here’s what I think they need to learn:

        Financial advice.  And the way to grab their attention is to illustrate by examples that will mean something to them.  How much do you have to save to buy a really great car, or how much does it cost to redecorate your bedroom to be ultra cool.  Show them what a real paycheque looks like, with all the deductions.  Talk to them about where those deductions go.

        Pension plans, are they relevant to a 14 year old?  No.  But tell them what their grandmother is living on and it may touch their soul.  Explain to them what their parents may be sacrificing in order to buy them designer jeans and great running shoes.

        Another great piece of real life experience; talk to them about a part time job while they are still in school.  You won’t have deductions because they are under 18.  Once they begin a permanent job they may be given a pile of documents from the Human Resources department (if they are so lucky).  Tell them to review it and consult with a savvy adult (not one of their friends, talk to their parents or another adult who they respect).  Why?  It is shocking how many young people don’t read or pay attention to the documents and end up missing out on matched RRSP savings, matched share saving plans, and other benefits.  Explain to them what matching means.

        Finances aside, what other things do people need to lead a well rounded life?  They need to live a life of grace, dignity, happiness and respect.  I am truly dismayed to see the abundance of reality television that rewards bad behaviour.  This weekend the movie The Hunger Games debuted, loved the book, I’m sure I will love the movie so don’t get me wrong when I say, how many people will ponder the idea that possibly this is something that could very well happen in a future world if it keeps going along this path?  I wonder if people reflect on the Republican leadership race and question what values do these people really bring to Washington.  I have trouble accepting that a person can advocate Christian values at the same time that they resent paying taxes that may partially support the elderly, sick, poor or underprivileged.  I have trouble with any country or any party or any individual who expounds democracy internationally and yet doesn’t deliver at home.

        My point?  I think schools are second to the home in giving our young people values and I am concerned that not enough is done to encourage high values in deportment.  From my point of view, as in business, so in schools, hospitals, government, lead by example.  If our leader, be it our Prime Minister, Chief of Staff or Principal, has high ideals, demonstrates dignity, grace, care and respect for those who follow or are under him/her, you are going to get the best out of your people.

        That’s what guidance is all about.

Cellphones

You are all cringing, I know, since you know I have a pathological hatred for these tools of torture.  However, I am here today to talk about them in a civilized way (at least I hope so, one never knows how I will end up on a subject).

       I’ve been watching people show off their iPhones and iPads and SmartPhones and I realized how very ignorant I am about how they work.  For instance, how do they create an App (technologically speaking, not adding one to your phone – although I wouldn’t have a clue how to do that I suspect it is quite simple to do)?  So as I was observing one desperate cellphoner in the elevator the other day I thought that I really should at least get into the 21^st century and learn how to use these phones.  What if someone had a heart attack in the elevator because they couldn’t reach their 125^th best friend and I had to call 911 on their iPhone.   Don’t get all technical on me about using the elevator phone – you get my point.  In a desperate situation I wouldn’t know how to operate the phone. 

       The other day my boss asked me to get her phone looked at by our IT people so I carried it upstairs but for the first time I actually took a look at it.  Gee, the little buttons with the alpha and numbers squeezed on there, I don’t think my big fingers could operate this sucker.  Amazing that men are tweeting along on their itsy bitsy little keyboard of a phone.  Remember when big was better (reference Tim Horton’s coffee not the other thing)?

       The thing is, despite my irritation with the abuse of these phones, I think that I owe it to myself to at least learn the technology.  I don’t want to be an old fuddy duddy like those old fellows on the TD Bank commercials.  But then, doesn’t that mean a commitment to a Plan?  I can’t see myself supporting Rogers or Verizon at $100 a month to carry around a nemesis.  No, I think I am just going to have to look from afar and hope I can still get a regular phone when I am 90 years old. 

       But by then I might be deaf and phones will be of even less value to me than they are today.

NDP Leadership Race

The power of media is swinging away from the old boys club with the power of internet and I think it is terrific.  For those who really want to know what’s going on the internet is the place to be.  Granted there are still slanted stories from every side but the great thing about the internet is that the comments (appear) to be uncensored insofar as opinions go.  Take today’s column by Margaret Wente in the Globe & Mail, she of the ultra conservative-reformist opinions; Of the 24 comments I read, 23 of them called it truly in simply not agreeing with her and clearing up the story from several different angles.  When you read the editorials in the newspaper all too frequently it’s the conservative agreement letters that get printed.  That’s called suppression of information.

        Only a fool would not be concerned about how the next election may go given that the NDP party base is now centred in Quebec but excuse me, but should the NDP party cater to the Quebecers demands for concessions how would that differ from Mr. Mulroney’s pandering (remember him, Ms. Wente?) or the Liberals?  I’m not naive enough or so loyal to my party that I don’t see that this may happen.  One must sometimes be pragmatic, I just hope that our new leader will be wise enough not to antagonize the rest of the party.  Ontario, Manitoba and Saskatchewan still have a lot of NDP voters and since the Orange Wave hit last year they are again excited to be back in the game and as evidenced by the huge jump in membership, they are ready and willing to get out there and vote. 

Given the very negative moves Mr. Harper has made in the last year he should be worried.  Indeed, the conservative party here in Alberta is extremely nervous about calling the next election.  Forty plus years of conservative rule may finally take a beating and even though the Wild Rose party is even more ultra conservative it would be a good thing to finally be able to take a look at the books.  There’s something rotten in the state of Alberta and we need to clean house.

Now for another cup of java, I’m on a roll this morning.

Sunshine, Butterflies and Happiness

Do you get spring fever?  Me too.  Finally I begin to get that surge of energy that has me asking “what should I do first?” and none of the options involve food or watching TV.  That’s a sign of spring.

       I think yesterday I hit a real low driving in to work but this morning I am feeling that upward surge that is telling me that spring is just around the corner.  Sure, I can expect another burst of snow before we finally start to see the spring rains and green grass.  Already I am seeing geese on the curb side downtown which is always a harbinger of spring.  I get a kick out of looking out for them (in years past when I was a passenger, of course) and then spotting them on high rise rooftops or window ledges.  Twice I’ve seen some adorable geese leading their gosling either across Hwy 2 and the other time across the YWCA courtyard, impervious to cars, pointing people and protesting ducks.

       Another sign of spring is busy car washes even though this winter I’ve washed my car more often than I have in the last 4 years (due to the constant slush on the roads).  I’d like to say that this weekend will see me polishing my windows but instead, poor me, I will be packing and organizing my trip to NYC.  Yes, I am off to the Big Apple next week and am feeling very excited about seeing my first Broadway show (“Wicked”).  This time we have an extra day just for site seeing and my friend and I have been looking at the website trying to decide how we can be most efficient without crippling each other!

       I am happy to say that I believe I am out of the winter doldrums and well on the way to being active again.  Thank Mother Nature.

Dancing With the Stars - Season 14

This is probably the best cast of dancers I have seen yet.  Everyone did very well and some were outstanding.  The classical singer Katherine and Erkel (Jaleel White) were really terrific.  Sadly Katherine (whose name I don’t recall) is not at all well known so with a small fan base she will probably go early.  It’s not the fairest way to eliminate the stars but I suppose we have to accept how it is.  Sherry and Gladys Knight surprised me with their ability; Sherry in particular was so glowing and happy to be there it was fun to watch her.

        Okay so this was the foxtrot and cha cha night and I can do these dances.  In P.J.s and night slippers I practiced the steps on a 3 foot square of space while the critters hunched up on tables, chair backs and wondered “what on earth is she doing now?”  Cherie sneaked away and lay dozing in the living room during commercial break.  I crept noisily up to him and he tried to escape me but I scooped him up and started fox-trotting him through the kitchen.  His ears were laid flat back, his eyes were starting out of their sockets but he lay limply in my arms.  He was torn between leaping out when I loosed him or showing off to Thumper that he was my favourite.  I could clearly see the conflict and I knew exactly what he was thinking as he looked over at Thumper who was suddenly sitting at attention and glaring at us. 

        I have to say that I sure have fun with my critters.  Arnold and Harold were both slouched over the sofas looking wearily at us.  They were probably thinking “thank God we are too big for her to do that to us”.  And I’m thinking “wait until the waltz, then you will get yours”.

        This is the only “reality” show that I watch because it is interactive and there is really no nastiness unless you count Len’s perfectionist criticisms as mean.  This is honest entertainment.  (But I thought they were not fair in judging Melissa Gilbert so low, I thought she was great).

These are the Ecuadorian dancers we saw last year.

Pulling yourself together

I put this title down before I glanced at a schedule I had completed during my first writing course and now I am very shocked.  I am way behind schedule but that is because I had forgotten my dates, I thought I was on time.

        What I really wanted to write about was the wisdom I picked up from my friend yesterday regarding retirement.  The first recommendation, once you make a plan to retire early, Do It.  I plan to listen to that advice because my friend was glowing and very happy.  As many other retirees may have noted, she says she doesn’t understand how she managed to work since she is busy every minute of the day.  She is maximizing her time and enjoying every minute of it.  I asked her if her energy levels had increased and she said she isn’t sure yet since it’s only been a month but we are theorizing that since she can now get out in the sunshine for longer periods of time on a daily basis that she should see an increase of energy.

        That is really what I want to write about, getting your energy levels up so you can pull yourself together.  I lay awake for perhaps a half hour before my alarm went off this morning and dreaded the idea of having to go to work while leaving my house in a mess.  Besides not getting enough exercise and sunshine I discovered that I am probably not getting enough nourishing food to bring those energy levels up where they should be.  I confess, I am mostly eating sandwiches, morning, noon and night.  I cannot seem to pull myself together enough to even peel a potato or fry up a piece of chicken.  I thought I would be getting better but instead I am getting worse.

        So enough already.  I recognize that I have a problem.  It’s called laziness.  I must pull myself together and do something correct about this syndrome I am going through.

·         Identify the source – Laziness

·         Make a plan – walk at noon, putz in the garden before dinner, make salad for dinner

·         Repeat daily

·         And yes, start eating your vitamins again.  How hard can it be?

Celebrating Freedom

This morning I am going to a Retirement Brunch to celebrate a friend’s release from the work-a-day world.  My friend did the progressive phasing out program, first by working a four day week for about 10 years and then over the last 12 months or so she went to 3 days a week, then 2 and then zero.  I suspect the last year whizzed past her like a tornado.  In this case, lovely.

        As my readers know, retirement is a constant theme in my blog (and in my mind obviously).  It’s not that I dislike working, on the contrary I quite enjoy my job, but I really, really hate my commute and how my work takes me away from my home and the other hobbies that I love.  I have spent a lot of time these last 4 years trying to figure out a way where I would end up reaping as much out of my day as possible but I have yet to find a solution for the 3 month winter doldrums (that would be January through March).  However good my intentions may be I simply cannot overcome the lack of energy I have due to our dark days.  If anyone knows of a solution that doesn’t entail going to Ecuador for 5 weeks, I would like to hear about it!

        But today is about celebrating, and the first thing I have to celebrate is that we did not appear to get the rain and snow they had predicted for overnight so I am able to go to the party!  I also get to visit with 4 fabulous friends and I know my endorphin levels will be really high after lunch due to all the laughter.  I can probably come home and do housework for a couple of hours.  I will also be experiencing downtown Calgary on a Sunday which is something I don’t think I’ve ever done before.  That should be interesting.

        I think it is important to grab as many celebrations as you can through life.  I’ve noticed that many people will say yes to a function but then not show up.  First of all, it is very rude to the hostess but secondly, you really are doing yourself a disservice by not enjoying the company of others.  In my research I have discovered that it is essential to have strong social interaction as one grows older therefore the people who alienate their friends by rudeness are going to have a very short retirement lifespan.  Sad to say but it’s true; it’s rather a shocking repercussion really.

        So for everyone today, I hope you are enjoying time with family and friends and I ask you to be sure to laugh a good deal while you are with them.  Keep those endorphins coming!

Time's a'Wasting

Every once in a while I will have a chat with my mother which leads down to “where did all the time go”?  We both cannot understand that 40, or 60, years have whizzed past us and we are standing here looking at each other with our wrinkles and our grey hair.  Where has time gone?

        My mother is 78 years old but she says inside she still feels young and full of life; it’s the outside that is hurting with rheumatism and stuff.  I feel exactly the same way but I am amazed to hear it from MY MOTHER.  She should be feeling old!  No, not really.  It’s good to know that we are all human and if all is normal and reasonably good in your life you are likely also still feeling young and peppy inside, even though the old body is creaking a bit.

        I think one of the things that keep us young is having a good memory about our school days and youth.  I really like recalling sitting at my desk way back in W.E. Breckon school in Burlington and remembering my classmates and the silly things that were said in class that made us giggle.  I can picture the kids like it was this morning, even down to their clothes (most times).  I remember the boys’ haircuts, the girl’s barrettes and ankle socks.  I remember how my teachers wore the same 3 dresses and 2 skirts and blouses.  They didn’t have a large wardrobe but they were always neatly pressed (oh yes, remember Miss B our French teacher in high school?  Every Friday she was wearing the same yellow dress (now wrinkled) from Thursday and we thought “ooh la la”!)

        Well, enough about my memories. Think about my mother, she’s going WAY BACK and she can remember HER teacher’s one dress (and there was some whispers about her too, dilly dallying with some German soldiers, oops).  Mom can practically recite, word for word, every book they read, what stories her teacher read out of their history book, what they DIDN’T learn in geography (they had a man teacher and Mom did not like him and therefore learned nothing. That’s why she still doesn’t know where Germany is on the map, or so she tells me.)  My mother can still add up long columns of numbers (in her head) and get the correct answer quicker than any of us.  Did I mention she is 78 years old?  She astounds the cashiers at the grocery store by telling them how much the bill will be before they have it all rung up (she adds everything up as she puts it in the cart).  She’s within pennies most of the time (unless she gets distracted during her shopping and someone puts something in the cart that she doesn’t know about). 

        She’s good, she’s real good.

        I love my Mom.

Doing What You Love

How many people are actually doing their dream job?  I would really be surprised if it was even 10% of the population.  I think we are raised up with our parents telling us to look for a sensible career.  In other words, very few encourage their child to be a writer, actor, musician or artist.  There’s no money in it, they tell us.  Given that there are  so many hockey rinks in cities and they are virtually all booked up with children’s hockey I suspect there are a lot of parents who see their little Johnny as the next Wayne Gretzky but otherwise I haven’t observed or heard of parents telling their children to strive to become Leonardo da Vinci.

        So perhaps we strive to become a doctor, lawyer, teacher, engineer or other professional and perhaps we end up enjoying this type of career.  But the vast majority of have more mundane jobs, sales people, office support staff, mechanics, plumbers, bus drivers, hair dressers and so on.   We might enjoy our work, we may enjoy our colleagues, but we don’t LOVE what we do.  In other words, we are not living our passion.

        As we go about our work-a-day world we very soon even forget what our passion may have been when we were young and still full of hopes and dreams for our future.  We are striving to pay our bills, our rent or mortgage, send our children out into the world and maybe even have a little vacation very second or third year.  The spark of enthusiasm we used to have when we picked up a pencil and started doodling, then drawing, then working into a portrait or landscape slowly fades away.  Then one day we wake up and say “que sera sera” or something equally inane.

        Indeed, what happened?

Serendipity

Today has been a rollercoast ride for me.  As always I am awake in a good mood but then I recall the disastrous pickup at the mailbox yesterday that had a dunning note in it.  I had to play detective to discover what it was about because despite it declaring “after numerous attempts . . . “ there had been no attempts at all to contact me about whatever it was that I apparently owed $1300.00 for.  But viewing the envelope it appeared it was a rental company.  Hmmm.  Being Sunday I couldn’t make any phone calls to get to the bottom of this so I had an upset stomach while I attempted to figure out what could possibly have gone wrong.  Monday arrived, I was able to call the insurance company who declared immediately “don’t think any more about it, this is a mistake” and I thought “thank goodness I didn’t have to get mad”.  Naturally this was cause for celebration so what would any rational girl do?  That’s right, I headed down to buy a LottoMax for the winning $50MM ticket of course!  But life is never that easy.  On my return I discovered an email from my local municipal office saying that there was a glitch in my application.  Oh goodie, more trouble shooting.

          In between my personal life I actually had to settle down and do some work.  After all that’s why they pay me.  At least on the work front everything went smoothly, including running 2 meetings that ended ahead of schedule.  Don’t you just love organizational effectiveness?

          Even though I have “life experience” I still find it difficult to brace myself for the dips in the rollercoaster ride.  I’ve come to realize that when I have several months without a single hitch, then the hitch is just around the corner and usually nothing that I have anticipated.  As I wrote a while back, living through these trials is what makes us stronger, and with each bump I hope it builds more sangfroid to handle the incidents with grace rather than anger.  In men they call it mellowing, I don’t know if they have a word for it for women but I hope it’s something like aging gracefully.

          When one is young I think the first reaction to an unexpected unpleasantness is surprise and frustration; later one becomes irritated; finally one starts to experience anger.  Now I find myself saying “oh dear, I hope I don’t have to get angry” because I have obviously done it often enough in the past.  Always, I have approached my situation with calmness because I know you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar but there have been times when I have had to deal with someone who was simply impossible and then I’ve had to let loose.  Afterwards I always feel terrible, even though I usually end up the victor in these altercations.  The fact is, I really dislike them.  I know some people thrive on drama and confrontation but I am not one of them.  I would walk a mile in the opposite direction to avoid a confrontation but then something will trigger the old “oh no you don’t” attitude and then the poor guy is in for it.

          I know I am not alone in this dread of confrontation but don’t you sometimes wonder who stores and businesses put in charge of customer service?  

Which brings up another topic . . . are you doing what you really love (well, LIKE) doing? 

My Chosen Field

Not a surprise, my chosen field is history.  I’ve enjoyed history almost as long as I can remember, certainly before I even knew it was called history.  Back in the day we called it “social studies”.  I remember learning about caveman back in third grade and I was fascinated by the cave paintings and the way the caveman lived.  Up until then I had not realized that cavemen were real.

       What do you remember about Grade 3?  I remember learning script (i.e. moving from printing to writing).  I remember David Ament getting his haired pulled by Mrs. Miller because he kept turning around in his desk to talk to me.  I remember Mrs. Miller asking Kurt Noble what made bread rise and his answer “a toaster” got him put in the corner.  I remember we learned about different types of shelter, or homes, from tree houses to caves.  We did a lot of reading out loud and we did a lot of arithmetic.  We still called it arithmetic, not math which didn’t come until we were in junior high school.  We had reading and composition (not literature or English).  We had P.T. not gymn, phys ed, or P.E.  (P.T. stood for physical training I suppose but we didn’t know that, we just knew we had to run around the “auditorium” a lot, because it was an auditorium, not a gymn). 

       At recess we played at skipping, hop scotch, yogi (jumping with elastics), bounced balls against the school wall, and raced around the school yard playing tag.  We didn’t have swing sets or slides, we basically had tar pavement around the school and then lots of grass which as often muddy because of snow or rain.  We went out for recess twice a day, every day, rain, shine or snow.  In a school year it was rare if we were made to stay in, perhaps once in the whole school year.  It was never too cold or too wet to be sent out for 15 minutes.  If the teacher caught us doing something bad we got smacked, sometimes on the head, sometimes on the hands with a ruler and occasionally on the butt.  No permission necessary from the parents.  If you got sent to the principal’s office you better look out because you would get the strap because your mother would tell the principal to give the culprit an extra one from her (that never happened to me but I heard about it, as did all the other kids when one of the boys “got it”).  In those days the mothers believed that her little Johnny was capable of any amount of wrong doing and deserved to be punished if he got caught.  There were a few “bad Johnnies” in my grade 3 class, notably Kurt. But also boisterous boys who did get in trouble by accident (like throwing snowballs), Gerald and David, Ricky and Dennis.  It was very rare for girls to get into trouble, in fact I don’t remember any girls getting into trouble until we were in grade 6 and mostly that was Ruth talking back to the teacher.

       Yep, those were the good old days.  Today the kids call them the Olden Days.  Gosh, really?

Growing Mature

One doesn’t like to think about growing older so saying I am growing mature sounds awkward but politically correct.  Sort of.

       Moving toward some significant milestones is ground breaking for our generation because we are the ones who can, and will, make being Sixty 60, 60, 60 and being Retired something to aspire to.  We are going to make both a round number and Capital R Retirement be interesting and essentially a second career.  At least, that is the plan I am working on.  I realize that even now most people have their head in the sand or the clouds when it comes to aging or retiring.  I am shocked to hear people of my generation not thinking about what they are going to do once they stop working. 

       This morning I was chatting with a friend who has past his 65^th birthday and he is more active than he ever was when he was working full time.  He has a seasonal job and he also works with a service club all year round.  He has friends from overseas that visit him every few years and he takes interesting vacations as they come up.  Today we talked about the opportunity of advanced learning but he says “I’m not there yet” meaning he has enough on his plate with having to do homework!

       I really think it is exciting to know that there are a great many opportunities available to a retiree that cost little or nothing.  Particularly for those who live in cities where the advantages are endless.  There is more challenge for me in my country place but I still have made some plans and working on a few more.  Currently I am exercising my brain by taking on extra reading in my chosen field because I am planning to take my Masters as soon as it is “free”.  The cost of doing it now is prohibitive.

       Exercising the brain is really quite exhausting, it’s almost as hard as getting on the treadmill.  It’s a good thing I am starting early because if I wait any longer I may not be able to get a good mark in my chosen field.  That would be humiliating.

Gearing Up

I’ve had a three day weekend which I have spent working in my yard until this morning when I was confronted by an advanced hour, grey skies and a phone call from my sister!  I’ve also had a lot on my mind but have been unable to article the thoughts swirling around in my little grey cells.

       That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

       Actually, it is not easy to come up with a daily article and I thought it would be good to recharge my batteries.  Meanwhile I had some interesting experiences including watching my two cats vie for my attention.  It is not surprise to learn that cats are very jealous creatures but it is surprising to see how much like children they can be when they are basically saying “look at me Mommy, I can to this” as they do a triple somersault in the air and come down to whack the brother over the head.  Then the real fighting starts, jumping over sofas and exercise machines, skidding along the corner and stop just before the tumble down 12 stairs into the basement.  Then they each go into their own corner to lick their wounds and finally crawl under the bed to sleep it off.  Yesterday they each took turns napping at my feet while I read.

       Besides my nature watch indoors I had the experience of weeding outdoors.  Isn’t it amazing that all natural beautiful things go grey, brown and dormant while weeds seem to stay green through the winter?  If they aren’t green through the winter they are certainly green as soon as there is the least bit of sun and heat.  Yes I found weeds sprouting in the garden, under mounds of leaves.  I also discovered that grass that had been trimmed short last fall can grow up to a foot over the winter (really).  All around the trees and bushes the grass was really long and I know I had trimmed it all down last October.

       I also discovered that as much as you pick up dead branches throughout the winter there is always more falling down from somewhere.  It amazes me that there are any branches left on my trees, I have picked so many up off the ground!  I have enough kindling to last me a lifetime or two.  When I pick up the dead branches I am reminded of Laura Ingalls when they were in DeSmet and there was hardly a twig to be found anywhere.  When my niece and nephew were younger I told them to pretend they were Laura and Albert looking for firewood but they had no idea what I was talking about.  They were raised on The Simpsons not Little House on the Prairie. I think they were deprived.

       So besides my nature watch, what have I been cooking up for your entertainment?  To be continued . . .

Memoir Writing

I’ve read many biographies over the years everything from Antonia Fraser’s definitive “Mary, Queen of Scots” through celebrity biographies of Vivien Leigh, Clark Gable, June Allyson and the like.  As well, I’ve read many autobiographies like “Lauren Bacall, By Myself” and Barbara Walters’ truly interesting story.  I’ve read Anne Morrow Lindberg’s series of diaries and my very first diary, The Diary of Anne Frank when I was 15 years old.  It’s interesting to read about a long and varied career, or about young lives that expose a part of history. 

Currently I am reading a truly dreadful book, Melissa Gilbert’s “Prairie Tale”.  First of all it is poorly written but worse, it is mostly a bed hopping story and finding justification for her drinking by saying she was unloved for 24 hours at birth.  Really?  I am feeling terrible as I read Melissa’s tale because I’ve always liked this actress and I thought she was an intelligent individual.  This book makes her seem very simple minded and rather stupid.  As I’m reading it (and heaven only knows why I am continuing to read it other than determination not to have wasted my money) I wonder what her real purpose is in writing this book.  Money.  It must be money because she is not telling the reader anything worthy of the read.  There is no life lessons here that cannot be summed up in a sentence or two.  Like, don’t do drugs, don’t mess around, and for goodness sakes don’t tell the world about every passing moment of your love life. 

What I loved about Goldie Hawn’s book was how she would tell a chapter of her life and draw a lesson from it and even highlight that in little bubbles of insight.  I am still a long way from completing my own story but I am hoping to make a point or two in my delving that will be worthwhile for the reader.  Mine is not a dramatic story but I hope that I have enough insight to be able to tell readers’ some of the peculiar things I’ve seen along the way of my life.  But reader take warning, there will be no tales of bed hopping or drug intaking or even drinking binges to confess. 

One more thing before I go, I do not read biographies to read scandal, I read them to find out how “big lives” are lead and how character is made.  I’ve read close to a dozen books on the Kennedys but one of the best is Thomas C. Reeves’ “A Question of Character”.  Highly recommended.

The Joy of Life

When you see children playing in the school yard or out on the street you can see their joy of living.  They are out having fun.  It isn’t often that you see adults having the same level of fun just by being outdoors.  I’ve been wondering how to get that level back into my life.  I know that part of it means being outdoors for longer periods of time simply to get the Vitamin D from the sun.  But the rest of that energy in the fun, does that come from the exercise?  I rather think so because I know when I have been working out I find I have energy that carries me along for several hours afterwards.

       All the research on longevity indicates that the one common factor in older people is their joy of living.  While I do wake up with a positive feeling I have noticed that during the winter months I don’t have that level of joy that I think is essential to making life worth living.  Now it’s time for me to start experimenting with moving positiveness up several notches into Joy.

       A huge part of why adults lose their joy is because they get into ruts, they slug along making a living, doing their chores and they forget about taking care of themselves.  The dreadful thing about all of this is that we all know the truth; we are supposed to eat health, exercise and stay fit.  So, why don’t we listen to all of the advice?  I believe that a very big part of this failure comes from simply being stuck.  It can be very hard to pick oneself up by the bootstraps and give ourselves that big kick in the butte to get moving and doing.

       It’s March, we get one more hour of sunshine on Sunday when we turn our clocks forward, and Spring is just around the corner.  It’s time to do some Shake, Rattle and Roll to bring that Joy back into our Lives.  So let’s do it!

Writing in a Vacuum

Blogging is a curious type of writing because if one is serious about writing we try to post daily if possible yet seldom do we hear back on what impact, if any, our words have meant to the readers.

       You may be asking yourself, “why does she write”?  I ask myself that too.  Partly it is my life long love of words, of reading, and of composing my own stories.  But a big part of blogging is getting out messages to those who might be interested in the variety of topics that comes to the mind of this middle aged woman.  Granted I can swing from topic to topic (preferably not in the same article) but after all, isn’t that how we have our conversations?  During a conversation with a friend we can talk about the weather, our family, our colleagues, the state of the country, retirement, how much our back hurts, when was the last time we remembered an actor’s name within 30 seconds of having lost it (painfully a long time ago), vacation spots, varicose veins, NYC, the Good Wife, why are we still working, is it good for women to work into their 50’s, if they have kids, if they have elderly parents, career vs working stiff.  The list goes on.

       Some critical conversations I’ve had over the years with my girlfriends is what do women really want out of life?  For many of my generation we got mixed messages from our parents.  On the one hand they wanted us to graduate from high school and then go to university, preferably to go on to a professional career.  But at the same time they also expected us to be a good wife and mother (in other words, to get married).  My generation was the first generation that really tried to juggle both, with mixed results.

       Approaching 60 I can say that I look forward to not having to work and I now hope to do all the things I have had to put aside while I have been working to make a living these last 40 years.  But is that any way to really live one’s life, to have to put our passions aside in order to cope with earning a livelihood?  In the 21^st century I hope that women (and men too) can make it happen where they can meld their careers and their passions together and really enjoy life to the full.

       Good luck in figuring it out.

The Sandwich Generation

Last night I was talking to my best friend about one of our classmates who seems to have a wonderful life, everything seems perfect.  As I have observed to Silvia in the past I believe that we all have a rollercoaster life with good times and bad so when we wonder why someone seems to “have it all” we really are only seeing things on the surface.  We don’t know the history of the person and what is behind close doors.  All we have to do is look at some of the celebrity autobiographies where our adored Marcia Brady and Laura Ingalls are recovering addicts or alcoholics!  Who would think someone who seemingly has it all would spiral out of control?

       Granted celebrity isn’t a good measure of what we ordinary mortals experience, except that they too are mortal with flaws and will experience bumps in the road from working to relationships.  What I am saying is, don’t bemoan the fact that you are going through tough times but instead celebrate the fact that you are able to get through the tough times because you are made of good fibre.  I was reading a few articles on The Sandwich Generation and the statistics are quite high as to how many people will be caring for both their parents and their children at the same time.  In Canada it’s 30%.  Then there are those who may not be caring for their children but are caring for their elderly parents.

       This isn’t a new phenomena, it’s just being written about in these last few years, perhaps because we are an aware generation or a complaining generation.  For Silvia and I it is relatively new because we are immigrant children whose parents came to Canada alone.  We did not observe what was happening with our grandparents and our aunts or uncles so our toolbox is fairly limited when it comes to knowing exactly how to handle situations.  But somehow we are figuring it out and as Silvia said we need to find our inner power.

       Digging deep within me.

Murder in the First

Don’t be alarmed, I haven’t killed anyone.  I am talking about the Christian Slater and Kevin Bacon movie “Murder in the First” which came out in 1995.  If you haven’t seen it you should because it is a very good film about the cruelty of the prison system in the 1930’s.  Kevin Bacon’s character is put “in the hole” (solitary confinement) for 3 years and naturally goes a little crazy so when he comes out he stabs a guard to death.  In the film he is imprisoned for stealing $5.00 to feed his little sister. 

       I believe I have written about this before, how while watching the film I became so heated up with anger that my father turned off the movie to ask me what was wrong.  And my answer was

“The same people who have produced this movie to make us sympathetic with the character are the same ones who vote Reform. In fact the same people who are sympathetic to Henri walk out of the theatre and would still say if their car were broken into ‘Hang ‘em high, Harry’.  That’s what’s making me mad.  Hypocrites.”

       Reading the article on Wikipedia the author notes “the real Henri Young was no stranger to crime . . . “ and goes on to list his career which implies that he deserved to spend the 3 years in solitary confinement because he was a bank robber.  Dear me, he stole more than $5 so let’s put him in a black hole for 3 years; that’s really going to give justice to the nice fat bank manager.

       Earlier this week my mother started talking about the cost of a prisoner as heard on the news (which I’d already heard).  It costs $300 a day to keep a prisoner, apparently.  First of all, I find the math calculations ludicrous.  It’s similar to when they tell us it costs $150,000 a year to take care of a homeless person in Calgary – as my mother says, then why are they on the street? 

       The number one cure for eliminating crime is to reduce the poverty in a country.  That includes eliminating the vast gap in salaries.  Also yesterday I heard that the new Enmax chairman is going to be compensated by a million dollar salary, plus $500,000 in annual bonus, plus other benefits that make his annual salary close to 2 million dollars.  So my first question, how hard is his job that he should be compensated at that level on taxpayer dollars?  Let’s face it, the Enmax revenue is a given as we have a huge city that is running on Enmax power.  What does this chairman have to run that I couldn’t do on a mere $100,000 salary?  Oh that’s right, probably behind the scene shenanigans that we will never fully hear about because we wouldn’t want transparency in a taxpayer owned corporation, would we?

       A poor bank robber can go to jail on bread and water and live in a filthy hole for years but the crooks we have in our governments get to retire in the Cayman Islands drinking martinis on the white sandy beach.