Hearing and Listening

Have you noticed how few people actually listen to what you are saying? In a social group when you are mingling people are buzzing and talking fit to beat the band but how much is actually being listened to. Certainly it is heard, that’s why I can say that there is buzzing. But there is a big difference between being heard and being listened to, the one is just hearing words without appreciating what is actually being said. Listening is hearing the words, comprehending and taking in the intent of the message.

Listening is an art because most people are more interested in talking about themselves or their ideas than listening to what someone else has to say. Listening involves interest, patience and caring which most people don’t have in spades. I’m one of those few people who actually listen to what people are saying. I find people interesting and people find me particularly empathetic. I have one of those faces that just say “spill it baby, I’m here for you” and let me tell you, people do spill it to me. I first realized that I had this gift when I was 14 years old. I would sit at the bus circuit (because I was always early for the bus to school) and the bus driver would chat with me about everything that was on his mind. As I’ve mentioned before I have a lot of acquaintances in bus drivers who have chatted me up over the years.

A good deal of my job involves listening, listening to instructions, listening in meetings so I can take accurate minutes, listening to colleagues so they can bounce ideas off me. As I say, I am very good at it and that is why it astounds me when others don’t hear the same things that I hear. In fact, they will often question my sanity because they didn’t hear the same thing as me. I actually believe they have drifted off, as most people do, during a meeting or a speech. I almost never get distracted when I am at work, in a meeting or a forum where a speech is being made. That’s why I can tell you absolutely that our first president very clearly said “there will be no Norwegian spoken in the halls”. No one else apparently heard it but I promise you, he said it, loud and clear.

In a social setting where there are a lot of people talking at once, I must admit that I can be distracted. While listening to one person some other conversation may catch my ear and I end up getting pulled into a second conversation and lose the thread of the first person. It seems to happen more often as I get older than it used to, or perhaps I am just more aware of it. But I do try to stay focused because it seems terribly rude not to be listening. That’s why I prefer smaller groups to large crowds, it’s easier to talk one on one and listening one on one. If you listen, people really do surprise you. People can be very interesting. I like people!

Do yourself a favour, tune up your ears and you will be surprised at what you learn.