Confidence in Thinking

I’ve been writing a lot about thinking in all its diversity and hoping that my readers are building confidence in moving forward in their thinking.

So here’s another thought – how do you see obstacles?  Obstacles are defined by Webster’s Dictionary as something that prevents a forward movement or course of action.  But obstacles can be perceived in two ways - they can both block you and make you a victim or they can be an opportunity and make you a victor.  You have a choice in how you want to view that block of granite.

As I have reflected on my medical situation I took a page out of an experience I had some 15 years ago when a friend decided to make me her victim.  Without going into details let’s just say that from being a friend she turned on me but not out in the open even when I asked her what was going on.  She said “nothing” and yet she was terribly rude, abusive and just plain ugly with me whenever we were around each other which became very awkward in our book club.  She put up obstructions, she ruined the meetings when I was the mediator of the book, and as I said she was just mean and vindictive.  I was truly upset because as an adult I had never before lost a friend and I was at a loss on how to deal with someone who simply wouldn’t own up to the fact that there was a problem.  It was even more ironic because this person was by education a human resource professional and here she was, not dealing with a situation.

And then one day a lightbulb went on for me.  I realized that this woman was making me her victim and right then that stopped.  I thought “I won’t be anyone’s victim” and just saying that made everything clear to me.  The anxiety of losing a friend was over.  It was her loss, not mine.  I had done everything I could to make it right and she had refused.  I turned the situation around and became the victor in the contest. I literally dropped her from my mind, my life and my conscience.  The clue was having the lightbulb go on, paying attention to it and letting go.  I had no bitterness but I also had no regret.

Having confidence in letting go of something, whether it is a situation, an idea or a redundant goal is a huge step in growth.  Sometimes you simply have to let go and trust that you are doing the right thing.  Almost inevitably your instinct is leading you in the right direction.  Have confidence in your logic and your thinking ability.

“The block of granite, which is an obstacle in the pathway of the weak, becomes a stepping-stone in the pathway of the strong.”  Thomas Carlyle.