Mentoring Becomes Fostering

Shamsh recruited a lovely, shy young lady into her group by the name of Lin.  Lin has become a special treasure to me with her lovely heart, her incredible capacity for caring and her devotion to me (and what can be more endearing than that).

It started out of course as a work thing.  My own new assistant Marife bonded with Lin and Lin was amazed at how much Marife and I connected as a team (and later as friends).  Lin did not have the same relationship with Shamsh and so she watched the teamwork I had with Marife; she had "boss envy".  I noted the observation and it was not long before I had her under my wing and took care to include her in events to give her a sense of belonging.  Lin had at that time been in Canada (via China) for about 7 years and except for some Chinese friends she had only one other friend who was not Chinese. 

I first became her mentor but as time went on we became very good friends and later still I felt that I was like a foster mother to Lin.  I also made a great connection with her husband Sean.  My brother John worked closely with Lin for a while and the 4 of us get together often for lunch and great, great conversations.  I love hearing about China, their immigration experience and their life philosophies.  Something that would tickle me was how Lin would describe Sean as a banana and she as a mango.  He is yellow inside and out while she is yellow outside but white on the inside.  In other words, she has embrace Canadian life in a way that Sean has not.  I just think it is a funny and cute way of recognizing differences without disparagement (or so I see it anyway).

I believe that I am honest when I way that I don’t see people for their ethnicity (I don’t mean I am blind but just that these things don’t resonate with me when I meet people and certainly have zero meaning for me once the calling for friendship begins).  Lin is a particularly interesting person because she is very analytical not only in cultural ways but also deeply philosophical.  We have some terrific conversations and I have learned a lot from a lady who is 2 decades younger than I.  Lin is my first friend to be so much younger than I and I find that a true blessing because it does give me a lot of perspective on what is going on in the world outside my comfort zone.

Her husband Sean also brings an entirely different perspective to our friendship and I enjoy him a great deal.  It is funny to see Lin become territorial over me when she puts him in his place and says “she is my friend” and I remind her that there is enough of me to go around.

Another friend who gives me two for the price of one.