What a Friend Does

I have written about quite a number of friends who have been with me for many stages of my life.  I feel very blessed to have been able to retain so many people in my life and I am happy to say that I have only had positive feedback from them when they have been “profiled”.  They are by no means the only people in my life but those I wrote about seemed to have a special purpose so if you were not mentioned specifically, do not worry, you are in my heart still.

In today’s environment of divisiveness maintaining relationships could be more stressful than ever before.  For those of us who have reached the Age of Maturity this may not be quite the challenge of younger folks but if we have a brain, have an opinion and are not shy to speak up it can be very easy to injure someone even unintentionally.  Being a friend is to know that person well enough to know their sensitivities and so it is well to tread carefully with the words we use or the opinions we share.  In other words, tact is very important in a friendship.

Does being tactful or evasive mean one is insincere or hypocritical?  I think not.  If one values a relationship one knows when to keep mouth firmly closed on certain topics.  For instance, it is never a very good idea to criticize a friend’s child or her child rearing habits.  My sisters may forgive me but even my best friend would not appreciate it very much.

What I have noticed with my friendships is that to be a good listener (or sounding board) is one of the most valued qualities a person can bring to a friendship.  I have always enjoyed listening to people.  I used to joke that I knew the inner secrets of every bus driver I ever drove with.  Even at the tender age of 14 I had that sort of face that seemed to tell a driver “speak to me, I am here to listen”.   I learned a lot about marriages, raising children and work issues that most girls would have run away from!  Fortunately for me I never had a bad experience with a driver (i.e., even when we were alone on the bus I was never accosted in an inappropriate way) and so wherever I go I am happy to lend an ear.

There are plenty of other things that make for good friendships; empathy, common interests and good humour being at the top of the list but being a good listener that is the greatest quality of all.  In my humble opinion.

Call someone you like today and have a good listen!